ihaveallpeace:
My husband is not useless. His bad mouth and how he enjoys doing such is what I can't stand to comprehend. Recession hasn't caused it, he is like that from when we got married over seven years ago.

Someone said I might be lazy, am far from being lazy.

Business? He said he doesn't like me do business. He date girls and when I query he would say they are professionals. In his word 'you need to be like them before you can stand them'.

He can talk you into thinking of suicide. I pray God deliver him from bad mouthing. No one is perfect but when your imperfection greatly affect others around you, you need to work on it before it takes them away from you.

Na wa ooooo
Your issue remind me of two of my married friends ..thats exactly what they are going through as well.
If they dress well at home , their husband's will flare up and call them prostitutes and lazy beings
I wonder what men like this derive in running their wives down?

Single ladies shine una eyes well ooo...


Then op, keep posting your CVS online and offline.. Place a deaf ears on his insults and try your best at home . But dont relent on getting a job. By Gods grace u will have a good job.
Be strong ..

bukatyne:


Your problem is not a lack of employment; your problem is that your husband no longer (did he ever?) respects/love you and I tell you that even if you get a job today, he might have something else to hassle you about.

However, a lot of husbands don't/will not respect their wives if they brought 'nothing' financially to the table; even Yorubas call it 'alabodo'... a wife you feed to mess

@Stay at home mom: why did you decide to stay at home? Was it a joint decision or you felt that was what the home needed at that point. If it's the latter, then it's obviously not what your marriage needs and you need to dust your behind.

You also need to sort out the issue of infidelity (if you are bothered) and bad mouthing.... getting a job will not stop that.

@Men who don't want 'professional' wives who say 'yes sir' to bosses: no everyone aspires to sell rice & beans or have a supermarket...

And it is a delusional to think that you won't say yes sir to your customers if you want your business to grow.

President Buhari still says 'yes sir' to his godfathers.

Only few people have the luxury of not saying 'yes sir' to anyone and there is nothing wrong in serving people. Even the Bible says... You see the man diligent in his business; he will stand before (serve) kings and not mere men.

He said he doesnt want business and you listened to that ? Please what happened to your own mouth ? Better not let anyone define you ,the name you tag yourself is what he will call you.His attitude isnt because you don't have a job but you have tolerated so much that you have become irritating . Docility isn't always a virtue,it gets old and boring fast . Get some steam into your system and be human,enough of the zombie attitude.

Dyt:


Pls add to it she should pray and fast
Wear red lingerie
Pole dancing

im dead.

ihaveallpeace:
My husband is not useless. His bad mouth and how he enjoys doing such is what I can't stand to comprehend. Recession hasn't caused it, he is like that from when we got married over seven years ago.

Someone said I might be lazy, am far from being lazy.

Business? He said he doesn't like me do business. He date girls and when I query he would say they are professionals. In his word 'you need to be like them before you can stand them'.

He can talk you into thinking of suicide. I pray God deliver him from bad mouthing. No one is perfect but when your imperfection greatly affect others around you, you need to work on it before it takes them away from you.

My dear it is obvious your husband has some kind of mental issue plus many other low self esteem problems. I am sorry but who you describe there is an idiot that doesn't deserve any respect or consideration. He obviously cannot add anything positive to your life ever. Since he is cheating on you, I suggest you stop having sex with him. Take time to plan your life and do what pleases you. If it's business, do it and do it well. If it's a job, find a job. But stop getting approval from this man, he has nothing to offer anyone, not even himself. Whatever he calls you is what he thinks of himself. Be proud of yourself and never give anyone the power to run you down. I think you want to stay in this abusive marriage but you have got to start looking out for yourself and being selfish about your life and future. Stop sex with that man. Those girls he's cheating with are also sleeping with several men you know. Don't add insult to injury by getting yourself infected by this low life. You will hate yourself if that happens. When your eyes finally clears on this useless man, you will be angry at yourself that you let someone like him treat you like this.

Your husband is a useless man. With all his ego, skills, experience, connect, ambition and midas' successes, he should be able to pull out his phone and punch some numbers that would strum the strings to your gainful employment. Aren't you his significant other? He's a lippy fool or you're truly lazy.

Calling someone else's husband a fool and useless is way beyond your purview and judgement- The Op sought for help and nothing more. Op- save some cash from whatever you can and start something.. Please no woman is safe depending on a man for her daily needs. its very risky in this clime. God bless your home.

baby124:

My dear it is obvious your husband has some kind of mental issue plus many other low self esteem problems. I am sorry but who you describe there is an idiot that doesn't deserve any respect or consideration. He obviously cannot add anything positive to your life ever. Since he is cheating on you, I suggest you stop having sex with him. Take time to plan your life and do what pleases you. If it's business, do it and do it well. If it's a job, find a job. But stop getting approval from this man, he has nothing to offer anyone, not even himself. Whatever he calls you is what he thinks of himself. Be proud of yourself and never give anyone the power to run you down. I think you want to stay in this abusive marriage but you have got to start looking out for yourself and being selfish about your life and future. Stop sex with that man. Those girls he's cheating with are also sleeping with several men you know. Don't add insult to injury by getting yourself infected by this low life. You will hate yourself if that happens. When your eyes finally clears on this useless man, you will be angry at yourself that you let someone like him treat you like this.

... Honestly this? I doubt it will work. Will you give her money when he begins to starve her? "kolewerk" Op.. where are your ears.. many men respect a woman that earns income no matter how little. The reason he is like that was because you believed him when he asked you not to work or run a business.. He sees himself as the Alpha and Omega. Go out of your comfort zone and make things work. But make sure you ask God for wisdom to handle everything. God bless you.

Check if he is cheating on you.

ihaveallpeace:
One is useless/worthless if he/she is not useful in any area. No one is as far as am concerned.

Lagos @Acido.sis.

Ok o, he is not useless. He is very useful at cheating on you and battering your self-esteem. As it is now, there are no jobs for young fresh graduates not to talk of someone who has graduated years ago and never put her degree to use. You might still need to resort to that business lane to empower yourself, not to please your husband.

ihaveallpeace:
My husband is not useless. His bad mouth and how he enjoys doing such is what I can't stand to comprehend. Recession hasn't caused it, he is like that from when we got married over seven years ago.

Someone said I might be lazy, am far from being lazy.

Business? He said he doesn't like me do business. He date girls and when I query he would say they are professionals. In his word 'you need to be like them before you can stand them'.

He can talk you into thinking of suicide. I pray God deliver him from bad mouthing. No one is perfect but when your imperfection greatly affect others around you, you need to work on it before it takes them away from you.

This kind of emotional abuse is bad. Does he have someone he respects you can appeal to that can help advice him to be a better man?

He might be doing this to justify cheating. By the way, what dignity is there for a 'professional woman' that sleeps around with married men?

dominique:


Ok o, he is not useless. He is very useful at cheating on you and battering your self-esteem. As it is now, there are no jobs for young fresh graduates not to talk of someone who has graduated years ago and never put her degree to use. You might still need to resort to that business lane to empower yourself, not to please your husband.

I agree with the seeking to empower herself part and not being motivated to get back at her husband.

Update: am happy to update my new status and I bless God for the gift of life.

Today am happy I now earn in dollars, I don't know how it happened but I know I put in efforts and went online in search of jobs. I know am good at what I do when I was working, I weighed my job knowledge and experience with what is obtainable outa Naija and I see that am pretty good. With this, started applying/sending proposals through a freelancing site, and in no long time I was contacted.

To cut the long story short, the client was like can we deal? And am like how? He offered I be there for them to help them develop training packs for their staff and also help in training their staff (pure online). To start with I was paid a good sum I don't believe and that came after just developing one single training pack. Now am on permanent agreement and will also share part of the company profit!

I work in the comfort of my home!

Lesson: believe in yourself, don't relent, use all the available tools and work on yourself. Most importantly, believe in yourself and believe God for all good things!

Wow, good to read this @ op. You shall not know sadness never again. Now go and start enjoying the fruit of your labour, you deserve it girl.

.

Acidosis:
Madam, nobody will employ you in order for you to spite your husband. Business is not a family affair.


Someone said your husband is a useless man... as bad as that sounds, I think a lot of persons here will agree with him whether they come boldly to say it or not.


You were gainfully employed for 8 years, yet he doesn't see any good in you? This isn't about contract or not. Even some full staff don't stay 8 years on a job. Statistics even show that 95% of new businesses shut down before the 5th year of operation, so something is seriously wrong with your husband..

It has nothing to do with being employed or not. He just doesn't love you anylonger, so do everything to make yourself feel good! Your husband should simply go and solve his problems... he should not infect you with his personal issues.. you have to tell him to pour his frustration elsewhere, refuse to be a waste bin that contains his trash... speak these words loudly, he'd have a rethink.

Exactly!! Focus on making yourself happy. Your husband has his issues that he has to deal with