Hello Nairalanders...


I have a burdensome question to ask those in a lousy relationship.

why do we hang on to toxic relationship? Anyone in a toxic relationship knows it already. For a relationship to become unhealthy, it doesn't happen overnight. Why hold on relationship that has turned you into a shell of your old self? That has turned you into an insecure and depressed being.

Here's my thought- http://kareninspirational.com/2017/05/01/why-do-we-hang-on-to-toxic-relationships/

Dem no carry rope tie person for love biko...

Ineedinfo:
Hello Nairalanders...


I have a burdensome question to ask those in a lousy relationship.

There 're so many stories, incidents I've come across lately that triggered this topic. Last month I came across a post on Facebook where a young man murdered his girl friend in cold blood. What was her offense? According to him, "she cheated." Just this week still on Facebook I came across yet another disheartening story of a police lady who killed herself because her man jilted her while plans to marry were already underway.  There 're still more of such stories littered around the globe. There was also that of a pastor who killed his wife by stabbing her so many times- cause? He said; he suspected she was unfaithful. Ugh!

The thing is - when a relationship becomes toxic, anyone involved in it notices.  The decision to move on and the courage to follow-through, is what matters. One being able to make the right decision for him/herself, is what makes one mature.

Was he or she unfaithful? Does he/she exhibit unconscionable attitudes? Irreconcilable differences?  These are just few signs of an unhealthy relationship- its list is quite long. Lol.

So, what's my point? Well, being in an unhealthy relationship doesn't happen in a flash. It takes a while to grow from a tiny little reptile to a full blown dragon. One is bound to notice, the not so subtle changes along the line.

Well, If the distressing situations 've become like weeds- that keeps sprouting back on. If it has become something  unforgivable for you. Why not move on? Are you glued together? Why take someone else's  life over a relationship? Why commit suicide over a lady/man? You're heart-broken? Are you the first? Someone that would find someone else within months and move on. Is it worth the "selfishness" of putting your loved ones through unspeakable misery? The irony is- just few years down the road. You may begin to wonder, what you ever saw in him/her. No one is worth dying for. No one is indispensable. I mean it. Haha...it may seem like an unbearable/impossible feat to accomplish at first but with time, you'd realize it probably was the best decision you ever made.

Toxic relationships are dangerous although the victims in such relationships often keep making excuses for the partner while seeing the handwriting clearly on the wall. Why hang on to something that binds one to anxiety, distress, depression?

Self love is important and necessary. I've come to realize that everyone in life is treated exactly as he/she portrays him/herself. If your disposition- kind of screams, "I'm worthless- I don't deserve any better." You'd realize that such mind-set attracts, exactly those that would think- "of course you're!  A good thing I came along. Who else would've you?" Lol. Are you getting the picture? But once you have self-love; self-respect; know your worth. Once you grasp the simple fact that your happiness is entirely yours to achieve with a positive mind-set. You won't tie your happiness, your progress, your fulfillment and goals to someone else. You'd exude confidence in whatever situations that turns up in life. And believe me, confidence is admirable. It effortlessly bestows respect, admiration from others. No one dares treat you anyhow when you respect and love yourself.

There's this thing that bothers me though - gentlemen /ladies. This might sound like such a cliché but it's the damn truth. A broken relationship is better and less messy than a broken marriage. If the thought of that current relationship churns- twists your gut with dreadful panics. It's definitely unhealthy. Don't plunge in headlong to a wretched life.

Quite a percentage of people who became casualties in their relationships all saw it coming. If he/she isn't right for you. If you're not compatible. If you walk constantly on eggshells around this partner; to avoid confrontations; to avoid battery; if he/she is temperamental;  mercurial in nature. Hanging on won't change any of these traits. A partner can only work on traits that threatens his/her relationship if he/she values that relationship.

Nobody has a right to hold you ransom emotionally. Shake off that fear/uncertainty and move the heck on! Who knows? What you need may just be around the corner. If you don't shut that toxic door you called a"relationship,"another may not open. That's all I've to say for now. If this write up helped you in anyway, then I achieved my aim. Also don't hesitate to share your thoughts with me, on here. Have a good day!
http://kareninspirational.com

a lot of them, are suffering from the STOCKHOLM syndrome. a situation where the captive begins to see his/her captor helping them to 'achieve' and maintain a sense of belonging.
also,the cultural burden is there as well.

Ajinoride:


a lot of them, are suffering from the STOCKHOLM syndrome. a situation where the captive begins to see his/her captor helping them to 'achieve' and maintain a sense of belonging.
also,the cultural burden is there as well.

You made a valid point. At times I see someone hanging on when letting go should be the obvious sensible action. It doesn't just make sense.