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How Can I Make My Man Happy? - Romance - Nairaland

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How Can I Make My Man Happy? by babeheart(f): 5:00pm On Jan 26, 2007
I am engaged to a guy who i believed he truely loves be though am so crule some times and always stubborn, but he still says he love me with all his heart and can not let me go. so please naira help me i really want to make him feels happy what can i do to make him happy? in which way can i always talk to him to me him happy. am feeling i have hurted this guy so much and i feel regret for that even i have pity him much , if it were other guys i believed they would have leave me, though he is nice and ladies always likes him but he just needs me ,

help me please.
Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by ThiefOfHearts(f): 5:07pm On Jan 26, 2007
uh stop being cruel then?

or maybe he has a thing for "cruel and stubborn" women. wink
Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by babeheart(f): 5:14pm On Jan 26, 2007
hmmm i think cruelty, and stubborness is my habits, i am always too reactive when i get angry, i can even say bad words on him , he will get sad and react also but the next day he will apologize, i really dont know how to change from this evils , what makes men feels happy?
Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by iice(f): 5:25pm On Jan 26, 2007
And do you apologize to him as well? Does he seem unhappy to you?
Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by ThiefOfHearts(f): 6:14pm On Jan 26, 2007
babe-heart:

hmmm i think cruelty, and stubborness is my habits, i am always too reactive when i get angry, i can even say bad words on him , he will get sad and react also but the next day he will apologize, i really don't know how to change from this evils , what makes men feels happy?

perhaps you should coolie coolie that temper and just leave for a while instead when you get annoyed
Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by TerraCotta(m): 7:20pm On Jan 26, 2007
ThiefOfHearts:


or maybe he has a thing for "cruel and stubborn" women. wink

Err--unlikely cheesy. Babeheart--he might just be putting up with the behavior for the short term because he's an optimist. It's good that you realize you have a problem with this issue, and you should try to work on with your guy. He does sound a little spineless himself though--he shouldn't be apologizing if you're the one acting out. You probably need to talk to him about all this, if you like him that much and you want things to go further. Just have the conversation now about how you feel--saves a lot of future hassle wink .
Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by ThiefOfHearts(f): 7:38pm On Jan 26, 2007
*rolls eyes*

anyway
Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by TerraCotta(m): 7:46pm On Jan 26, 2007
Indeed.
Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by cecipopula(f): 8:03pm On Jan 26, 2007
ThiefOfHearts have said it all, stop been cruel.
Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by whiteNkem(f): 8:09pm On Jan 26, 2007
maybe even try to overdo yourself; give him a surprise, try to be more calm, be sweet with him all the time, avoid arguments etc.
come on, you'r a woman, you gotta feel your man! who can better tell what makes him happy than his bride-to-be?
Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by babeheart(f): 3:47pm On Jan 27, 2007
i really do not apologize for him , i sometimes tries to calm down and tried to make my heart pure but nevertheless as soon as there is a simple urgements i started to react and say bad words to him, i sometimes thing maybe he is waiting untill we reach the future then he will start to react too, but the mots is i am always feeling i hurted him much sometimes , i feel sorry fr my own self but i dont have the feelings to apologize for him .
Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by babeheart(f): 3:49pm On Jan 27, 2007
the fact is i love him, but sometimes i have the feelings as i can not get the real meaning of marriage and what makes a guy to feel he want to marry etc. i think maybe lots of my negative feelings is the cause , aren't it?
Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by fellow(m): 5:22pm On Jan 27, 2007
babe-heart:

the fact is i love him, but sometimes i have the feelings as i can not get the real meaning of marriage and what makes a guy to feel he want to marry etc. i think maybe lots of my negative feelings is the cause , aren't it?

I would like to ask how was your upbringing like? why do you see marriage as a negative thing? And how come you got the negative feelings?

Why not give him a chance and see whats going to happen. Dont be afraid of getting hurt cause thats the essence of falling in love
Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by harvey(m): 6:04pm On Jan 28, 2007
Try reduce doing things he dont like u doing and always think properly before u utter any word.cos some words might have being uttered and before u realise it as being uttered,the damage has being done.so try to be calm.
Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by Busta(f): 10:18pm On Jan 28, 2007
Maybe u need to work on English first
Ur writing skills, secondly

and finally, stop being so damn stubborn and
learn to appreciate what u've got!

why do people bring up topics that they already know the answer to?
Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by Nobody: 11:39pm On Jan 28, 2007
babe-heart:

hmmm i think cruelty, and stubborness is my habits, i am always too reactive when i get angry, i can even say bad words on him , he will get sad and react also but the next day he will apologize, i really don't know how to change from this evils , what makes men feels happy?

1. The guy must have extra ordinary patience and is long suffering. I have met guys like that.
2. His sweet reaction to your attitude will not continue forever! He wont be sweet when you insult him in the presence of his kid for instance.
3. How about you thank God you have such an understanding chap and try and change your attitude?

4. He appologizes when you offend him? Not unheard off, i once had that experience with someone else i dated and i completely disagree with teracotta that it is a sign of spinelessness. It is not, you just cant help it if you love the person that much and are willing to overlook several things she does.

5. One day that long rope of patience will snap! He will find someone else who treats him the way he likes and he will dump you! I have experienced that too!
Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by LadyT(f): 11:45pm On Jan 28, 2007
Sweet lawd!
Maybe he doesn't react because he cant work out what the f*ck your saying! I had a hard time trying to deciper what it was you were trying to say.

Maybe you dont really love the guy and your only putting up with him because he puts up with you?

Why do you need to be so abusive? And why cant you apologise and try to do better?

It wont work overnight but if you try you will get over it.
Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by ThiefOfHearts(f): 1:05am On Jan 29, 2007
Busta:

U writing skills, secondly

Hmm.
Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by ThiefOfHearts(f): 1:06am On Jan 29, 2007
davidylan:

14. He appologizes when you offend him? Not unheard off, i once had that experience with someone else i dated and i completely disagree with teracotta that it is a sign of spinelessness. It is not, you just can't help it if you love the person that much and are willing to overlook several things she does.

Aww who knew david could be sweet tongue
Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by TerraCotta(m): 5:04am On Jan 29, 2007
David--you're free to disagree with anything I say, as long you realize that this position

davidylan:


2. His sweet reaction to your attitude will not continue forever! He wont be sweet when you insult him in the presence of his kid for instance.
3. How about you thank God you have such an understanding chap and try and change your attitude?

is incompatible with this this position

i completely disagree with teracotta that it is a sign of spinelessness. It is not, you just can't help it if you love the person that much and are willing to overlook several things she does.

5. One day that long rope of patience will snap! He will find someone else who treats him the way he likes and he will dump you! I have experienced that too!

Forgiving minor flaws because of "love" and tolerating repetitive abuse like Babe-Heart's man are not the same thing. The reason someone won't tolerate disrespect in front of their kids and will quickly reach the end of their "rope of patience" is precisely because they have enough willpower to end the nonsense with a dead-end relationship. Well-adjusted people don't stick around waiting for some Hollywood happy ending in the kind of relationship that the poster's talking about. Reading her words, you can see how disturbed she is about her own behavior and how openly she recognizes her faults and flaws. Yet her slow-witted boyfriend is apologizing for her own bad behavior towards him. Doesn't sound like someone with much self-respect to me. That's the height of spinelessness and victimhood any way you look at it, and a stronger person would have already, in your own words, found "someone else who treats him the way he likes". wink

LadyT:


Why do you need to be so abusive? And why can't you apologise and try to do better?

It wont work overnight but if you try you will get over it.

I agree, but at least she realizes she has a problem. She seems like she still has enough time to fix things, which is a luxury most people in her situation don't have. You're right about figuring out what the poster was saying though--let's chalk it up to how emotional she must be feeling about the whole thing tongue
Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by babeheart(f): 6:10pm On Jan 29, 2007
Busta,
i know my English is not good but at least i have tried my best to share with you about my hard feelings and to get help from you, i think i have already writen it clear that you all here were able to understand and feedback to me with your ideas, dont i.

TerraCotta,
my emotions have now changed abit and there is a feelings that the best is i have to try to calm down my hot temper heart. i dont know if he will change sometimes after getting satisfied with my evil behaviour, i sometimes would even say to him go i dont need you, or i dont want you, but he will in-turn reply no i will never leave you no matter what? can guys always keep there promises as they made?

LadyT
it is not that iam trying to be abusive, but it is that i have always a reactive action since i was bornt, even at home my family already knews me and i dont have a heart to apologize , parphet i dont get any meaning of why to apologize, or when i know i am at the wrong side i dont uses to apologize in front of him but it will hurt me later when i am alone like at night hours then tears will start to fall off my eyes, but the next day nobody will know if i found out about me being wrng etc.


I am sorry.
Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by ThiefOfHearts(f): 6:18pm On Jan 29, 2007
babe-heart:

can guys always keep there promises as they made?

No. Bloody liars, every last one of them

and I dont know why you're apologizing to someone who cant even write one sentence without abbrevations.

save the apologies for your guy. wink
Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by Honeypot1(m): 10:12pm On Jan 29, 2007
@babe-heart

Keep it up girl. Do u know what? Nag the more, abuse him at the slightest opportunity, research ways on how to annoy a guy and improve your stubborness skills. And i can assure u, guys always keep their promises especially to nagging, abusive and stubborn girls. It won't be long and u will earn your long deserved 'sack' and there u will go crying wolf like most girls do, probably labelling him a liar or cheat.
Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by TerraCotta(m): 10:45pm On Jan 29, 2007
Honey_pot:

@babe-heart

And i can assure u, guys always keep their promises especially to nagging, abusive and stubborn girls. It won't be long and u will earn your long deserved 'sack' and there u will go crying wolf like most girls do, probably labelling him a liar or cheat.

Honey_pot--You sound like you've hand-delivered that pink slip/letter of termination one or two times in the past. grin

I think Babe_Heart is really sincere about wanting to change though. I hope it all works out for her.
Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by ThiefOfHearts(f): 10:45pm On Jan 29, 2007
Guess that's why Radiant doesnt want anything to do with his silly ass cheesy
Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by Healthcpg: 11:06pm On Jan 29, 2007
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Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by Nobody: 11:19pm On Jan 29, 2007
Healthcpg:

Hey guys if you have a friend or family member who wishes to work in the health care industry in the US, please visit WWW.HEALTHCPG.COM for guides and information on how to pass the necessary certification exams and migrate legally into US with a green card. All foreign Graduate Doctors, Nurses, Pharmacist, and other health care professionals are qualified.

Qualified up until they hit the stone wall that is the Lagos embassy!
Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by Honeypot1(m): 11:21pm On Jan 29, 2007
Lol @ Tiffy, don't be surprised if we become the first Nairaland couple grin

TerraCotta:

Honey_pot--You sound like you've hand-delivered that pink slip/letter of termination one or two times in the past. grin

I think Babe_Heart is really sincere about wanting to change though. I hope it all works out for her.

I agree with u, but such sincerity is suspect. She is a perfect example of 21st century girls who expect guys to love, marry them with their flaws and never require them to change. I'm happy babe-heart has identified and acknowledged her 'sins', but my worry is that she lacks the needed remorse/right attitude to effect a positive change.

I don't hesitate in handing out those letters and won't even strike the deal if i see any tell tale sign of a contentious spouse 'cause i detest nagging strongly. I advice babe-heart to change immediately b4 her boisterous nature sinks her already troubled rship boat.
Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by Nobody: 11:27pm On Jan 29, 2007
TerraCotta:

Forgiving minor flaws because of "love" and tolerating repetitive abuse like Babe-Heart's man are not the same thing. The reason someone won't tolerate disrespect in front of their kids and will quickly reach the end of their "rope of patience" is precisely because they have enough willpower to end the nonsense with a dead-end relationship.

Perfectly agree with your position. However not every guy is exactly alike, there are some that are willing to give the girl as much opportunity as possible to change and there are those who wont give her a second look. I dont think Babe-Heart is "insulting" the guy as much as being a nag and a general nuisance. That is why there is opportunity to date and why no couple shld get married without at least 1yr datiing period before making a serious commitment, it is an opportunity to assess whether you both will be compatible in the long run.

TerraCotta:

Well-adjusted people don't stick around waiting for some Hollywood happy ending in the kind of relationship that the poster's talking about.

Once again, spot on! There are no hollywood endings anymore, unless you're talking about divorce which seems to be the rising theme among several "westernised" women these days.

TerraCotta:

Reading her words, you can see how disturbed she is about her own behavior and how openly she recognizes her faults and flaws. Yet her slow-witted boyfriend is apologizing for her own bad behavior towards him. Doesn't sound like someone with much self-respect to me. That's the height of spinelessness and victimhood any way you look at it, and a stronger person would have already, in your own words, found "someone else who treats him the way he likes". wink

Yeah, the guy probably hasnt found someone else. Believe me, once he does the scales will fall right off his eyes! It happened to me once and i kept wondering how stupid i was! Not pretty!

TerraCotta:

I agree, but at least she realizes she has a problem. She seems like she still has enough time to fix things, which is a luxury most people in her situation don't have. You're right about figuring out what the poster was saying though--let's chalk it up to how emotional she must be feeling about the whole thing tongue

It probably is too late to fix the problem! Believe me even if she decides to change, once the honeymoon period is over, she will revert to her normal nature! It all boils down to upbringing!
Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by akindayor(m): 3:58am On Jan 30, 2007
babe-heart
dont crucify your self or allow anyone to .start appriciating your self because i think it's lack of selfworth
that makes u say harsh words to this your guy."do u somtimes feel u don't nid him or u're not worthy of him?"
u already feel he won't kip to his promise of lovin an' not leavin u,so u want to kip him at a distance frm seeing
hw vulnerable u're to his love, u kip him frm your core, the jelly-like u that wants him always to  cuddle u,love u,protect u
adore u?
if am wrong tell me and i'll delete my input, but if am right
u can solve this by OPENING UR MOUTH TO APprici8 him say things like "nice hair cut,nice shoe,u look kinky "stuff like dAT
then u can graduate to 2 HONEY I MISS U, bla blabla
once u give love u'll feel more relax and less internally agitate and rage ll cease
TRY AN' WORK IT OUT COS UR TIME IS RUNNING OUT!!!1
Re: How Can I Make My Man Happy? by babeheart(f): 3:29pm On Jan 30, 2007
@akindayor
you dont need to delete your self from here, i am here always for advices.
you are not wrong but i will try to put your words in action, the best thing i have to do now is to start puting the good advices from you here into actions and see if there will be change in my life. thank you so much and i wish to hear more again.


@ThiefOfHearts
i did apologize for him, because he seems like he is in charge of those who dont ave a good english or grammar, i did better apologize for him before he start to fail me grin

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