Please fellow Nairalanders, I have a situation in my relationship and I sincerely am confused. This is actually beyond my understanding that is why I decided to seek advice here.
I met my girlfriend two years and 6months ago. I really love her and asked her to be by woman which she accepted wholeheartedly. We started dating. She was a virgin and I had to wait till she is ready to allow me in which she did after a year and some months we started dating. She is very good sometimes and some other times I wish I never met her. Which is why this "2baba - what you do to me" is now my best song.
Well my major point of confusion is this. She never acts normal once her friends comes around her. Whenever any of her friends is around, she will never pick my calls. But when we are together alone, she always says she loves me. She can insult for Africa, has zero respect for me nor any other person. But I love her. The thing now is I'm in love but I'm wide awake to the fact that Marriage is a different ball game entirely and I wanna marry once. Will she change for the better in Marriage? Her Mom usually insults the dad too and sometimes I try to mirror her with her mom but she always says she can never be like her mom but the truth is she can be worse than dat. I am thinking of calling off the engagement seriously because I'm extremely emotional and soft minded. She is a complete opposite of me, friends love her cos she pretends to be nice. One last thing, she can jealous for Africa. I dashed her my phone since I had two and she has non, somehow she logged onto my facebook page, read all my chats with my fb friends, all the chats were before I met her, yet she came fought me over the chats like I have ever cheated on her. Feisty cannot define her temper. Pls mature advice.

Atleast you know who she is now... You can't change her but you could only learn to accept her that way!

Quick advice; Do not be blinded by love! Seek for the best because you deserve it.

#ShítHappensInLove

P

here is an advise from a bro. if u really want peace bruh, if u really really really want peace stay away from that girl, obviously she isn't someone that understands herself.

I would have jilted her even before the relationship ever started if I were you...


See I don't have time for nonsense

Good you know marriage is entirely a different ball game. Best believe if she doesn't change now, she's not going to change.
People with temper aren't easy to handle.


You had better stay away from her, from your narrations I bet she doesn't even know what she want. If she loves you like she says then why isn't she proud of you around her friends, truss me if there's one thing I know, it's girls love to show off their man if he's a 7+/10 to her.

Op! E be like say this one pass u

You're heading for calamity. Sorry, I don't know how to say that in a gentle manner.

How do you love someone that doesn't respect you?


I honestly wouldn't call that love, that's outright display of foolishness not love.

The relationship is already very toxic. The reasons why there's a high rate of divorce is because during courtship people see signs but they purpsely ignore it. It now develops and becomes a huge problem further on. Im not saying you should dump her, because no body is perfect and we all must compromise. But you need to sit down and ask her why she doesn't speak to you in front of her friends. What is she trying to hide? The jealousy issue can be sorted out by reassuring her that you love her by your actions and words. Women are naturally insecure about things so sometimes we need that extra assurance. If things still dont improve after that, then its up to you to determine if you can cope with her character flaws or not. You still have time so be patient.

dingbang:
I would have jilted her even before the relationship ever started if I were you...


See I don't have time for nonsense

Ma nigga

You don enter 'one-chance'. Use your head bro...

guy when you get old you'll know what peace in a home truly means, I had a friend who's​ dad was old i use to go to his house but the mum was always angry, always so beefed up.when the dad was sick to death the mum never visited the dad in his sick bed for one day, I was confused because I've never seen that kind of hatred in my life, so I asked him, and he told me I should never marry a woman that doesn't love me, he didn't want to tell me everything.
it's now that I'm older that I understand.

if she's not happy to be with you for THE REST OF HER LIFE... just let her go.

GlobalGisting:
Please fellow Nairalanders, I have a situation in my relationship and I sincerely am confused. This is actually beyond my understanding that is why I decided to seek advice here.
I met my girlfriend two years and 6months ago. I really love her and asked her to be by woman which she accepted wholeheartedly. We started dating. She was a virgin and I had to wait till she is ready to allow me in which she did after a year and some months we started dating. She is very good sometimes and some other times I wish I never met her. Which is why this "2baba - what you do to me" is now my best song.
Well my major point of confusion is this. She never acts normal once her friends comes around her. Whenever any of her friends is around, she will never pick my calls. But when we are together alone, she always says she loves me. She can insult for Africa, has zero respect for me nor any other person. But I love her. The thing now is I'm in love but I'm wide awake to the fact that Marriage is a different ball game entirely and I wanna marry once. Will she change for the better in Marriage? Her Mom usually insults the dad too and sometimes I try to mirror her with her mom but she always says she can never be like her mom but the truth is she can be worse than dat. I am thinking of calling off the engagement seriously because I'm extremely emotional and soft minded. She is a complete opposite of me, friends love her cos she pretends to be nice. One last thing, she can jealous for Africa. I dashed her my phone since I had two and she has non, somehow she logged onto my facebook page, read all my chats with my fb friends, all the chats were before I met her, yet she came fought me over the chats like I have ever cheated on her. Feisty cannot define her temper. Pls mature advice.

Accept?

There's nothing there.

You're one guy who can't tolerate insults

It's better to rot in hell than have a woman you love insult you.

That's a crimson red flag

OP abeg delete everything about that girl. She never ready for life.
She doesn't love you either. It's obvious that you're just another maga being used by a girl.

Abi you wan stay there make pants dey wear you?

Aderola15:

...I honestly wouldn't call that love, that's outright display of foolishness not love.

I wouldn't say it is foolishness. One just can't escape making some forms of sacrifices for their loved ones, which may be "foolishness" to you. But in a sense, what is foolishness to you may not necessarily be true; it could be sheer perception and disagreement.

Meanwhile, Op, trust me, you got troubles.

Splinz:


I wouldn't say it is foolishness. One just can't escape making some forms of sacrifices for their loved ones, which is "foolishness" to you. But in a sense, what is foolishness to you may not necessarily be true; it could be sheer perception and disagreement.

Meanwhile, Op, trust me, you got troubles.

Sacrifice for loved ones, in this context? Does sacrifice have another meaning that I don't know of?


Why should he make himself a walkover all because of love, dude needs to know his place, worth and let no one take that away from him not even in the name of love. That's it, people confuse love with so many silly acts... She pretends, insults and gets irrationally jealous, if these ain't enough reasons for him to talk a walk then I wonder what will.

>>>Will she change for the better in Marriage?<<<

It is on a rare occasion for people to change in marriage. Any behavior that has persisted for years is difficult to change. Your question is like saying "will you stop your favorite food once you get married?". Any behavior of hers that gives you a concern now is a pointer to what may be a potential threat to your marriage. However, a miracle can happen.

My submission; if you can't change her now then you can't change her after you have walked her down the aisle.

op go and read the 16 commandments of poon.

Aderola15:


Sacrifice for loved ones, in this context? Does sacrifice have another meaning that I don't know of?

Ade, don't get it twisted. What I have up there is not to justify Op's plight, it is about your perception of what you called "foolishness" in a relationship.

Op try and marry her first and see if she is still like that.

Splinz:


Ade, don't get it twisted. What I have up there is not to justify Op's plight, it is about your perception of what you called "foolishness" in a relationship.

Oh, owkies. But if he's gonna let anyone trample over or take advantage of him in a relationship, ahswearugwad he is foolishly in love.