I think all of us at one time or another has had to end a relationship and we all have wondered how we could best do it. Ending a relationship is not something any of us like to do but sometimes it is unavoidable.

When it becomes necessary to end what was once a good and healthy relationship we find ourselves not knowing how we should go about letting the other person know that we want to end the relationship.

We don’t want to hurt the other person, although that is almost impossible, we want to remain friends with them and we want them to know that we still care about them.

If you find yourself in need of doing such, then there are a number of steps you can take that will make it as easily as possible for each of you. Knowing how can make it easier on both parties. Here are five steps to ending a relationship.

Step One: You must be complete sure that you want to end the relationship and ending the relationship is your only option. Once you have made the decision you must be ready to hold to that decision. To end and then try to rekindle the relationship can spell disaster.

Step Two: When given the chance, explain completely why you want the relationship to end. You must be decisive. Indicate your intentions as straight forward as you can without being cruel. You have already decided to end the relationship so do not allow yourself to be persuaded differently. If ever there was any doubt about saving the relationship that should have already been discussed.

Step Three: Ending a relationship should be done with a “face to face” meeting when possible. If distance is a factor, then a letter explaining your decision can be used. If after letting your intentions be known, the atmosphere is good, you can remain with the other person to show that you care about them and that you are willing to help them through the breakup.

There is controversy on whether are not the last two steps are the correct way to handle contact with the other person when ending a relationship. Some relationship experts say one thing while another group sees thing different. My thoughts are, how you handle the last two steps depend on what you feel is best.

Here is what the larger group of experts offer for the final two steps of how to end a relationship.

Step Four: Stay away. No phone calls, no letters, no emails and no discussions with his/her friends. Make the cut clean. Any contact with him/her can only give them a base for hope and may hurt your resolve to end the relationship.

Any attempt, on your part, to comfort or ease the hurt will only be construed as an opening for him/her to change your mind. Do not give him/her any idea that they may have a chance to win you back.

Step Five: Sever contact with mutual friends. If contact is unavoidable, chose your remarks carefully. Refrain from discussing the breakup, making comments about him/her or expressing your feelings about ending the relationship. You can never be sure which of those mutual friends may carry your remarks back to him/her.

Here are my personal thoughts on how to handle contact with him/her and their friends.

Although the relationship must end, remember that at some point you had strong feeling for the other person and you owe them respect and compassion. Beyond that, your contact with them and their friends will depend on whether are not the other person has accepted the breakup and how they are handling the breakup.

The reasons given above for steps four and five will be a concern for you but, you must make your decision base on how you feel making contact with them will effect your efforts to end a relationship.
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