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Stats: 2,054,326 members, 4,419,413 topics. Date: Saturday, 18 August 2018 at 03:00 PM
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by duch12(m): 5:47pm On Aug 30, 2017|
This story is Bae,nice one Centino
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by Jekonmor(m): 10:14am On Aug 31, 2017|
Oya baba ~50cent~ I mean Centino himself.
Nice one bro, laff wan cripple me sha. I dey wait for the next update sha.
Good one bro.
I get weed o, make I supply u?
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by Shesweetdie(f): 7:57am On Sep 03, 2017|
Abeg vacancy dey for that compound cause e be like say recession no affect thier fun
Can wait to read todays updat[img][/img]
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by Kimkardashain(f): 8:48am On Sep 03, 2017|
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by Criis(m): 8:59am On Sep 03, 2017|
Centino! Centino!! Centino!!!
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by Centino: 1:26pm On Sep 03, 2017|
The President has been back for more than a week and has been doing his best to prove that he is not as feeble as some wanted us to believe that he was. He even posed for a photograph with members of the national female basketball team. Now go and work that out. Julius Berger also came out to dispute the rat story in Aso Rock; after all, it was they, a reputed company that maintained the facility. What needs to be done I think is to cure the diarrhea of the mouth suffered by the presidential spokespersons. To think that these guys in another life were reputed journalists and even statesmen! Maybe it is the demons in Aso Rock that Reuben Abati spoke about that possess them and make them unrecognizable as soon as they make the transition into Government. Anyway, just as Josiah pointed out, nothing has changed in our lives in the midst of all this. I am still to find a job, some that went all the way to Mecca to pray have died there and mama Akunna remains a torn in our flesh.
I knew from the moment Irikefe spoke to me that we would not have to wait long before he carried out his plans against Mama Akunna. If Wasiu was restless, then there were soldier ants permanently domiciled in Irikefe’s pants.
We have not had light for four days now and it has also not rained in that time. As much as we hate the rains for all the flood and whatnot, we sleep better because of the general coolness in the air, and families are able to stay in their rooms in the evenings and play card or ludo games or gossip or just find comfort in each other’s company. But this night, the heat was back with venom, and as we do in the dry season, adults will leave their children in the rooms and bring out mats to the frontage and spread them and lie till about midnight before returning to their rooms.
Mama Akunna we all knew cooked her food by herself and prefers to do so only at night.
“That is because she is a witch” Irikefe reiterated.
“She does not want anyone to see the ingredients she puts in the food, which I know contains human blood.”
“Ah ahn Irikefe. Where will she get human blood from? At least we have not heard of any ritual murders or anything.”
“She brings it from the village.”
“I don’t believe that joor.”
“Then why does she cook only at night?”
“Maybe because then there are fewer people entering the kitchen. You know how our compound is.”
“Well, whatever.” Lowering his voice he said “It is tonight bros.”
“What is happening tonight?”
We were seated on the soakaway slab as we preferred to do while the older men took up the remaining space in the frontage for their mats. No one paid any attention to us as they were busy fanning themselves and cursing the APC Government. But Irikefe still took the precaution to look around to be sure no one was watching before producing the handful of weed he wrapped in a newspaper from his hip pocket.
“We are taking care of the witch tonight. Just when the soup is about to done I will sneak in and put it inside.”
“Haa! All this? It is too much na!”
“We need to be sure bros.”
“Has she started cooking yet?”
“Can’t you hear the pounding?”
In the midst of all the noise from the generators in the neighborhood, the Kpoi kpoi kpoi from mama Akunna’s mortar was still well amplified as her dinner took shape. Then after five minutes the sound was dead and it was just the familiar angry rattle from the converted diesel engine from number 227 that could be heard.
“It is time” Irikefe said and grabbed my hand and we both stood. Rather than use the corridor we stole round the building to access the kitchen through the backyard. Normally when cooking we step out to the backyard or corridor and sit on stools and banter when the heat gets too much or when we need to give the food time to simmer. We were sure mama would be in the corridor rather than at the backyard. At the corridor she would be able to monitor every nocturnal movement. Something she lived for.
As planned, I walked past the kitchen to where I knew she would be to distract her while Irikefe entered the kitchen.
She was telling me “New Calabar boy. You never sleep? Abi you wan hide carry that gal enter ya house?”
“No mama. I go check whether my brother don remove all our cloth for outside.”
“Hmmm I hear” she said and stood and went back into the kitchen. I hurried back to the frontage and hoped that Irikefe had been successful. He was already waiting for me.
“Done, bros. That’s the end of the witch. In forty eight hours she will be on a bus back to where she came from.”
“That will not be so bad,” I said and we said our good nights.
Early the following morning I stirred awake when I heared sister Esther say “Repent” into her megaphone and another familiar shrill voice intoned “You dey lie!”
I flew out of bed and dashed through the corridor to the front of the compound and found Irikefe and Wasiu together in one corner, aghast at the drama that was unfolding. Sister Esther spoke again into the megaphone “You will go to hell if you do not change your ways” and Mama Akunna, eyes glistening like a cats, standing by the road but closer to the compound shouted back “Na you go first reach dia!”
“Every soul that sinneth shall die”
“Esther who sin pass you for this Katakata road?”
“For the wages of sin is death my brother my sister.”
“You for don die since Esther if na so.”
“Brethren do not be deceived by this new trick of the devil to deprive you from hearing the word.”
“My people make una hia me now say de pesin wey dey disturb una for this place na proper devil pikin.”
“Do not be ignorant of the devices of the devil, second Corinthians chapter two verse eleven.”
“My people this Esther wey dey talk so dey sleep for Kingsley house every night.”
I rushed to where Irikefe and Wasiu stood and said “guys, what have we done?”
“De woman don craze o!” Wasiu said.
Sister Esther had had enough and quietly jumped the gutter and rushed back into the compound and into her room. It was 5:45 in the morning and far in the horizon I could see a slit the sky suggesting that daylight was imminent. We hid by the side of the building and watched what was going to happen next. We expected to see mama Akunna tearing her hair and screaming in her new state of lunacy. Instead, she occupied the space in front of Talabi’s shop where the men usually gathered and began greeting the early passers-by. We heard her saying to different people “God e go bless you.” “You go sell plenty market today”. “Bad people eye no go see you today”. “Good morning better pikin” “Na only you dey comot this early morning?” After a while we saw her move quietly back into her room.
Then at about 6:30 I noticed some of the more vocal men heading in the direction of Mr. Zubi’s self-contained. I learnt later that he had sent text messages to them inviting them to his living room for a meeting. Though I was not invited, I still went and stood by the window and listened. When everyone was seated Mr Zubi spoke first.
“Gentlemen, I am sure you all know why we are gathered here. We are not going to sit here and watch as Akunna’s life gets destroyed because of his lunatic mother. We have always endured her and respected her but since she came back this time, you have all seen how notorious she has become. The poor man now lives on the main road and his wife has run away and his children are scattered like chicks that their mother has just been crushed by a speeding vehicle. We cannot continue to say it is not our business. More-so when she does not mind her business and pokes her old nose in our lives and insults us all as she likes. How can we help Akunna?”
“Let him send her back home” Achike said. “That cannot be difficult?”
“It is not as simple as that. Akunna can never chase his mother away. He will be ostracized back home. This is Africa. Our parents are our parents. We take them the way we see them.”
“There is a problem with that line of reasoning” Mr Cosmas began. “Family members should not have that kind of hold on one another. This hinders the free swinging of the human spirit. Children do not belong to their parents. Having children is offering a soul a chance to be born and gain experience. A child is a gift. When one comes to the world through you, all you must do is nurture that child through its years of helplessness, provide for it, give him/her as good an education as you can and then leave them alone to go and experience. Man is the only creature in nature that sticks together far longer than is necessary. This unnatural state of things is the fastest route to destruction for all involved because it is against the laws of nature. You mentioned hens and chicks Mr Zubi. That is a good example. Have you not noticed that when the eggs hatch the hen cares for the chicks and guides them till a certain stage when the mother hen itself chases them away to go and become independent? It is fascinating to see. The hen literally attacks its own offspring until they get the messages and go their own way. It is like that for all creatures in nature except man who erroneously chooses to stick together. We all know how uncomfortable it feels as an adult when you still have to defer to your parents on certain things. That discomfort you feel is your spirit telling you that you are off course. Mama should not be here intruding in her son’s life.”
“Em Cosmas, we have heard you. Shebi the woman is your friend. Perhaps you can find a way to tell her she is better off in the village” Josiah said.
“I will try.” Mr Cosmas said.
“Mr Kingsley what do you think?”
“Bitch” he said.
“When angry, count four; when very angry, swear – Mark Twain.”
“You have every right to be angry. She used your name in the sermon this morning.” It was Achike, and they all roared in laughter.
“It's my duty as a human being to be pissed off ―Eric Brogosian.”
“We don hear.”
“Okay gentlemen” Mr Zubi resumed. Mr Cosmas will try to persuade the woman to go back home. In the meantime let us all ensure that his children do not starve. Mama Cowbell is doing her best in that regard. Thank you for that mini lecture by the way. You did not disappoint.”
“You are welcome Mr Zubi.”
“So you mean that after all the money I am spending on my children when they grow I will just leave them alone? What if they forget about me?”
“Then so be it. You did not have to have them.”
I left Mr Zubi’s window and went to Wasiu’s room and met Irikefe there.
“What do you think happened guys?”
“The tin no do the woman anything! Old ogbanje!”
“Kai!” Irikefe exclaimed. “So what do we do now?”
“The men have just had a meeting. They will persuade her to go back home.”
The door to Wasiu’s room then burst open and Mama Akunna stepped inside the room. Wasiu bolted upright and Irikefe stood on the bed and yelped like a frightened puppy. I tried to remain calm. Mama Akunna adjusted the wrapper around her waist and grinned at us.
“Abeg, give me dat tin if una still get” She said.
TO BE CONTINUED.
19 Likes 2 Shares
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by latbas(m): 1:44pm On Sep 03, 2017|
lol. nice one centino
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by Dhavido(m): 2:45pm On Sep 03, 2017|
Mhen! Mama now finds joy in weed
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by INDUSTRIALFAN(m): 2:50pm On Sep 03, 2017|
Kikiki.... Mama Akunna na better junky...... Lmao.... "Gimme that thing of una still get" ROTFL
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by Criis(m): 3:18pm On Sep 03, 2017|
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by itsandi(m): 4:24pm On Sep 03, 2017|
Nice story! Read other cool stories on Tushstories via
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by collinometricx(m): 6:10pm On Sep 03, 2017|
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by desire222(f): 7:26pm On Sep 03, 2017|
Oh what an interesting story. They did not know that she is a real ganja mama. I'm laughing my sweet ass off.
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by sheycrown(f): 8:19pm On Sep 03, 2017|
Oh my Jesu Kristi!! Mama loves the ganja....she's going no where.
Dear centino joor please increase this thing na.
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by HelenBee(f): 8:20pm On Sep 03, 2017|
Lmao!!! This one weak me ooo
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by FreshestManny(m): 10:44pm On Sep 03, 2017|
O boy eh. D woman na badoo. *Ghost mode deactivated*
Nice story u got going @centino. Waiting for more.
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by OscarEssien(m): 8:35am On Sep 04, 2017|
She is truly a witch
how come she find out about the weed
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by Centino: 8:40am On Sep 04, 2017|
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by Centino: 8:45am On Sep 04, 2017|
sheycrown:Haa sheycrown. I just increase am na. Twice the normal size I post because of Preetiex and MichaelBlake40 Both of whom I haven't seen since yesterday
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by Centino: 8:49am On Sep 04, 2017|
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by Centino: 8:50am On Sep 04, 2017|
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by meneski(m): 8:51am On Sep 04, 2017|
ohboy mama na confirm jombo
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by Centino: 8:52am On Sep 04, 2017|
Thanks for showing face FreshestManny
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by Centino: 8:58am On Sep 04, 2017|
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by sheycrown(f): 10:16am On Sep 04, 2017|
Awwww, I don turn oliver twist o.....Oya Preetiex and MichaelBlake40 come out,somborri needs your attention here.
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by MichaelBlake40(m): 3:28pm On Sep 04, 2017|
Centino:Oga Centino heard ur'e looking for me,present sir!.Abeg no mind my absence,for some days now, i no dey well and my phone no gree work well for sometime,but I'm back fully.Nice update u gat dere,i for think say Mama don mad o
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by Centino: 7:51pm On Sep 04, 2017|
Happy say you dey okay now MichaelBlake40. Welcome back.
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by Preetiex(f): 8:34pm On Sep 04, 2017|
sheycrown am present,centino dear well done,jekonmor abeg give mama egbo make she jogodo,michaelblake40 hope u are fine now
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by MichaelBlake40(m): 11:32am On Sep 05, 2017|
Preetiex:I am now,tnx
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by MichaelBlake40(m): 11:36am On Sep 05, 2017|
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by supizino(m): 4:00pm On Sep 05, 2017|
This mama akuna na confirm waffy mama hanhan see as she talk "give me that thing if u still have am" cnt laugh alone
|Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by Grendel(m): 5:21pm On Sep 05, 2017|
OP, your head dey there ooo
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