NaeChris:
"Why often, concern is raised on domestic
violence against women. But little
attention is paid to domestic violence
against children especially by the same
women who advocate against that meted
to them by men."
Why is this so?

RadicallyBlunt:

Women are naturally selfish and self-centered. That's why they compete with their children over demand for care. Believe me some even get jealous of how their husbands gets to d heart of the child than she does. If they do any little thing, they'll demand for worship.

I happen to be a child of such women. I love my mother but I can't pray for her type as wife. She has never experienced what it means to submit to a man all her life of being a single mother. Now me being the first man to make her realize how a man shd be treated is just a child to her. Why would she bliv anything i say. She battered me while growing up under her...what I would term maternal abuse. She was demanding gifts from me at 100L when I didn't even have enough to feed let alone hand outs.

I had to starve myself and depend on a neighbour for food just to save to buy her Ankara and shoes..Shes a well-paid senior civil servant o. I still don't think a woman can ever love selflessly.

jhudit:


Sad one...
Now we understand your grievance.

Op, you can help us champion the case.
Someone has to bell the cat.
The women that beat their helps are wicked...
The men that watch their wives batter their helps,
What do we call such men?

RadicallyBlunt:

Women are naturally selfish and self-centered. That's why they compete with their children over demand for care. Believe me some even get jealous of how their husbands gets to d heart of the child than she does. If they do any little thing, they'll demand for worship.

I happen to be a child of such women. I love my mother but I can't pray for her type as wife. She has never experienced what it means to submit to a man all her life of being a single mother. Now me being the first man to make her realize how a man shd be treated is just a child to her. Why would she bliv anything i say. She battered me while growing up under her...what I would term maternal abuse. She was demanding gifts from me at 100L when I didn't even have enough to feed let alone hand outs.

I had to starve myself and depend on a neighbour for food just to save to buy her Ankara and shoes..Shes a well-paid senior civil servant o. I still don't think a woman can ever love selflessly.

jhudit:


Sad one...
Now we understand your grievance.

Op, you can help us champion the case.
Someone has to bell the cat.
The women that beat their helps are wicked...
The men that watch their wives batter their helps,
What do we call such men?

eyinjuege:
Why do you assume that women should be the ones championing the cause of rape/violence against under aged helps/wards?
What stops men from championing the cause?
I believe it's everyone's responsibility to protect the children.
Don't be deceived however that domestic helps are physically abused by only their madams. Some of them suffer physical abuse by the ogas, or even rape atimes.
I believe we have agencies that deal with child trafficking/ child labor (I didn't mention anything about adult domestic helps because they can always walk out of such a situation).
If you as a man believe in pushing that responsibility of protecting children on women, that means you have got it all wrong.
Children/ wards shouldnt ONLY be protected by the madams. Infact, its usually the responsibility of the man of the house to protect everyone under his care. It should be taken seriously. No abuse should be allowed to happen under your watch.
Take responsibility.
Zero tolerance for child abuse/child labour.
As a man, protect the children under your care from abuse ( this is also the responsibility of women too, so no one is exempt from it).
Start the movement and don't wait for anyone else. You can be the change you want.
Your voice as a man will be heard more than any woman's in our society, you will be taken seriously by fellow men who are in the position to make these changes, pass laws and enforce such laws.
Lend your voice as a man.
We also have elderly abuse and abuse of disabled people. These are all worthy causes. Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity.
Never push responsibility on anyone else, otherwise nothing will ever be achieved. (I know the easiest thing to do is to push responsibility on others, in order to avoid the hard work that comes with it. Wrong mindset)

Modified- I've also noticed some men also want to push that responsibility of speaking against violence against men on women, and complain that the women don't bring the awareness of such in the society.
Please, get off your butt and do something about it yourselves. Don't wait for any woman to champion your cause. You may have women as allies in such a movt against "VIOLENCE AGAINST MEN", but don't expect them to be the ones to champion it as they may not understand the challenges such men face.

NaeChris:
Don't even go there. The men won't stick arround to stop that, cos they are out there in the labour market. Atimes these wicked women are smart enough to resist such satanic influences before their husband and the househelps can't be bold enough to report.

NaeChris:
The men seem to be ''to busy'' to notice these things. Most times even when they witnessed any, they try to avoid wahala with their wives just to protect their marriages.

NaeChris:
Seriously thats why i love oyinbo children. Them know where police station dey. They treat ya f.uck up at any time. If only Naija kids will adopt that style.

eyinjuege:
Why do you assume that women should be the ones championing the cause of rape/violence against under aged helps/wards?
What stops men from championing the cause?
Modified- I've also noticed some men also want to push that responsibility of speaking against violence against men on women, and complain that the women don't bring the awareness of such in the society.
Please, get off your butt and do something about it yourselves. Don't wait for any woman to champion your cause. You may have women as allies in such a movt against "VIOLENCE AGAINST MEN", but don't expect them to be the ones to champion it as they may not understand the challenges such men face.

jhudit:


Sad one...
Now we understand your grievance.

Op, you can help us champion the case.
Someone has to bell the cat.
The women that beat their helps are wicked...
The men that watch their wives batter their helps,
What do we call such men?

eyinjuege:


Women also are in the labour market. Infact, most families that have maids have the women of the house hustling out there. They seem to have taken over the responsibility of the male folks in terms of providing.
Ask around even on NL and you'll find out more people survived and finished school from the hard work of their mothers. So, that's no excuse.
You as a man need to stop giving excuses and start to take reaponsibility too.
Start the movt - violence against domestic helps.
The notion you have that it's only women that abuse their helps is a wrong one. Men also beat mercilessly their house helps, and some even rape the female ones.
So everyone needs to speak against it. Do something about it for once, and don't try to push this on only the female folks because it's EVERYONE'S responsibility to protect children



Excuses don't win wars.
Evil triumphs when good men do nothing. If you as a man keep quiet when a child is being abused, you are also culpable.
What marriage are you protecting in the face of evil.
I've noticed something, and it's the fact that I just see men especially on NL bringing up excuses, excuses, excuses. I think taking responsibility needs to be taught in school. It's a good idea for it to be in the school curriculum.



Again, don't push this responsibility on the children. They cannot handle abuse on their own. Even you as an adult wouldn't want to be involved with the police in Nigeria. The support and provisions available abroad for children undergoing abuse is non existence in Nigeria and you know it

NaeChris:
eyinjuege Be sincere to yourself, have you ever seen or heard where a man beat a child and apply pepper to their private part of a child?

jhudit:


Sad one...
Now we understand your grievance.

Op, you can help us champion the case.
Someone has to bell the cat.
The women that beat their helps are wicked...
The men that watch their wives batter their helps,
What do we call such men?

eyinjuege:
Why do you assume that women should be the ones championing the cause of rape/violence against under aged helps/wards?
What stops men from championing the cause?
I believe it's everyone's responsibility to protect the children.
Don't be deceived however that domestic helps are physically abused by only their madams. Some of them suffer physical abuse by the ogas, or even rape atimes.
I believe we have agencies that deal with child trafficking/ child labor (I didn't mention anything about adult domestic helps because they can always walk out of such a situation).
If you as a man believe in pushing that responsibility of protecting children on women, that means you have got it all wrong.
Children/ wards shouldnt ONLY be protected by the madams. Infact, its usually the responsibility of the man of the house to protect everyone under his care. It should be taken seriously. No abuse should be allowed to happen under your watch.
Take responsibility.
Zero tolerance for child abuse/child labour.
As a man, protect the children under your care from abuse ( this is also the responsibility of women too, so no one is exempt from it).
Start the movement and don't wait for anyone else. You can be the change you want.
Your voice as a man will be heard more than any woman's in our society, you will be taken seriously by fellow men who are in the position to make these changes, pass laws and enforce such laws.
Lend your voice as a man.
We also have elderly abuse and abuse of disabled people. These are all worthy causes. Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity.
Never push responsibility on anyone else, otherwise nothing will ever be achieved. (I know the easiest thing to do is to push responsibility on others, in order to avoid the hard work that comes with it. Wrong mindset)

crackhaus:

You're not being honest with yourself.

The topic is about domestic violence on helps, focus on that and tell us the culprits.

NaeChris:
If they are actually in the labour market, how are they then found wanting to such ungodly act? They are said to be closer to the children than their men. Why do women call God their husband(husband to the widow) when they lose their husband? Why is life seemingly a mess after the death of the man? ''Men
also beat mercilessly their house helps..'' how many have you seen and how many cases have been reported? Its just one out of every 10,000. My point is, IF THE SO CALLED WOMEN DON'T LIKE TO BE BATTERED, WHY BATTER THE KIDS? Go to the crime segment and see for yourself what women are doing.

sisisioge:

eyinjuege:


Sorry, I can't start breaking the points down, but I'll try to address them. Its gonna be a bit all over the place, as I'm busy but here goes:

1.Why are women closer to their children? Face the truth, the some men have failed in their responsibility towards their children, always pushing the children to the mother. Never wanting to be involved in child care, as if you need to have big breasts to feed your baby formula. Do you need to have big breasts to change your baby's nappy? Do you need have breasts to bath your child? etc
2. The Bible calls Christ as the husband to the widow and father to the fatherless. When you hear a widow saying that, she's just further encouraging herself with the word.
Incidentally, I think women cope better after the loss of a spouse than the men. When a woman dies, some men just dump the childcare of the children to relatives, unlike women who are there for their children despite their own loss. Some men re-marry solely to push the responsibility of raising their children on another woman who really has no vested interests in the children. That's why I feel a bit passionate about people pushing their responsibility on others(you see me shouting that over and over again).
Regarding men beating their house helps, I've seen a lot of cases personally, and even on NL. I will make it a duty to start tagging you and crackhaus whenever I see such stories on NL.
So please, remove that notion that its only the women in the homes that abuse domestic helps. Its not.
So thats why I feel you're stylishly trying to push the advocacy against child abuse on women so as to absolve yourself of every involvement and subsequent hardwork that comes with such advocacy.
You need to get involved.
Women don't like to be battered. Proven statistics/real studies have shown it that homes where domestic violence is rife also has child abuse issues by the same perpetrators. As a Dr, if you see a woman battered by the husband, its your responsibility to find out about children living in such homes because they are equally at risk.

Women don't like to be battered, and have decided to speak out (that seems to be your grouse?) However, going by your analogy that its women that abuse domestic helps (its a wrong assumption btw) I expect the men to be the ones doing the advocacy then, doing walks and awareness against such. So time for men to take up placards (but i know most won't because they are guilty of abusing these helps, same as for domestic violence where some men seem to be against such advocacy because they also beat their wives).

babythug:


There have been stories like these in recent times! Even here on Nairaland I've read of men-husbands and dads being brutal to thier children, wards and maids!

babythug:
In many parts of this country the general orientation is to discipline children via beating, smacking, hitting, flogging and the likes! It's ingrained in many of us so to speak! Our culture also doesn't generally allow people to express their frustrations verbally so many people- mums included express thier pressures via abuse of their children. It's sad but I believe mostly unintentional!

The new generation of parents is trying to veer away from this norm! At least the somewhat exposed couples should be trying to do this!

Also we aren't always equipped with knowledge to be parents and so when a toddler is throwing tantrums we just lash out rather than use "scientific methods" to calm the baby down!

Economic and domestic (being in an unhappy marriage for eg) pressures also make parents abuse children physically!

I guess discussions like this will help more parents realize the errors of thier old ways

NaeChris:
Let me take your points one at a time.
1. Women are closer to the child and seem take care of them better because men are not wired to do that. They are two different beings, they have different duties. A man is the provider, the woman is the caretaker. Similarly, women suffer more when they venture into the duties of the man for any reason, you see the impact on the kids, some drop from school, some go hawking and what have you. When a man loses his wife, he needs a woman to fill up that vacum, he has a different purpose which differs from that of a woman. 2. Where was Adam when devil tempted Eve? Adam was busy in the bush or should i say garden, Eve stayed back to take care of the home as she or women are wired to do so, so you don't expect the man to ''breastfeed'' the baby before he can be called a good man. 3. Where in the bible is Christ called husband to the widow or father to the fatherless? please i want to know. Quote the place.I like to learn.

NaeChris:
BRAVO!! Here you are justifying child battering, but you disaprove it on the opposite end where women are involved. Any african child who reports the mum to police, will be simmered with hot papper. They are aware of this, thus they keep calm.

NaeChris:
Could you please tag me to just one, i mean one.

babythug:




https://www.nairaland.com/3625210/pastor-beats-wife-daughters-stupor#53652663

eyinjuege:


3.) Ps 68:5
2.) Where Adam was in the garden? Probably taking a nap. And as usual didn't take responsibility when kasala burst under his watch. Is it not the woman God gave me that put us in this trouble? In short, God caused it by creating Eve.
As a man, never dodge your responsibility and push it towards others, and always accept responsibility for your actions/inactions when things go wrong.
That's the first step in the right direction, otherwise it doesnt speak well of your values.
I repeat again, excuses don't win wars. Thats one of my personal notes to self.
1.) A huge fallacy of hasty generalisation. There's nothing like men are not wired to look after their own flesh and blood. You should see some fathers and how involved they are in the lives of their children. From changing diapers, to waking up at night to feed the child(yes, they mix baby formula themselves. You dont have to be Einstein to do that) . That your talk of a man being wired to be providers is also not working in present day.
Women seem to be holding their own in the work place, and even market place legitimately.
Being a parent entails you being actively involved in all aspects. You need to instil certain good values in your child, otherwise you're a failure. You cant do that without spending time with them, and doing things for them.
Providing for needs is just one tenth of the responsibility of a father. Score of 1/10 is a big Fail. So please never think providing alone is enough as a parent.