Ladies please I need your advice:

I'm Nigerian and my boyfriend is also Nigerian. We both reside and met in UK and we both love each other and everything. We're not engaged or anything, just dating. Well the problem is, last year he travelled to Nigeria to see his family and consequently cheated on me. I recently found out this year when he got back, he told me voluntarily and said he was being honest and sincere with me and that I should forgive him and that it was a mistake cos he was tempted by the gurl. Anyway, the thing is although I could forgive him but its hard to forget and it will take some time to trust him again. I've tried breaking up with him but he keeps begging that it wont happen again and that its me he wants and that he's sorry. I've forgiven him but I just need advise as to whether I should break up with him. I'm just really confused cos how can a guy say he loves me and then would cheat on me. Is that true love? Please I need advice ladies, should I break up with him? or should I give him another chance then if he cheats again then I should break up with him? Please, any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Not excusing him for betraying you but if he was man enough to hold his hand up and confess then i'd advice you to forgive and forget.
What guarantees you that the next guy you date will not cheat on u? r u going to break-up with each and every man dat cheats on u?
If dats the only time he cheated and doesn't have any other questionable behaviours then just let it go.

forgive him and stay with him! - ki loju o ri ri? sounds as though your heart forgives him which is good

at least he opened up and confessed without you finding out first, give him another chance.no one is perfect,we all have our flaws-including you. Besides it is possible for a man to be in love with a lady and still admire another at the same time.

break up with him, his crime is so grievous, i dnt mean the crime of cheating, _{all guyz do dat}, i mean the crime of telling u. hang him.

Generally speaking, (and I buttress the point "GENERALLY" i.e on average)

1. Men can separate love and intimacy

2. Women cannot. The 2 are intertwined.

Your man could be very much in love with you and sleep with someone else (I am not saying this is right at all). A man generally needs something physical to get aroused. Women generally want to know you first, then get stimulated mentally by you, then develop feelings for you before even thinking of intimacy.

Forgive him if your heart wants to and talk to him about why you will not want it to happen again and what he needs to do when he feels his "soldier" is doing the driving rather than his heart.

4give him. . . . coz if u break-up wit him wat guaranty u dat d guy u're yet to meet wont b worst? on a most serious note he's a faithful partner 4him to tell u d truth. jst 4give and 4get. He trully loves u _{i guess}

I respect women for their ability forgive, if roles are reversed, I doubt it if any man will forgive his gf for cheating on him.

Poster if he has confessed to you voluntarily, you really need to let go and forgive cos its quite unusual.

smooooooth:

break up with him, his crime is so grievous, i dnt mean the crime of cheating, _{all guyz do dat}, i mean the crime of telling u. hang him.

LMHO!


@ OP: The fact that he confessed to you without your suspecting shows that he's a decent guy, most guys I know wouldn't do that. I think you should give him another chance, and even though it's expected that you feel the pain of his betrayal right now, time heals all wounds. Besta luck

smoooooooth got the best response
I mean, why can't some women appreciate honest men

When a man cheats the world will say forgive him it's his nature(a man's world)

But when a woman cheats it becomes an abomination

Crucify her shes a disgrace

Now all these men are speaking up in support of

same crime they never supported

^^^^Gbam, took the words right out of my mouth.

I'm just really confused cos how can a guy say he loves me and then would cheat on me. Is that true love?

Not true love honey. Once a cheat, always a cheat. I say drop him like a bad habit.

Abekeade08:

^^^^Gbam, took the words right out of my mouth.

Not true love honey. Once a cheat, always a cheat. I say drop him like a bad habit.

Is bad habit easy to drop?

u no get case.u seriously mean a core naija guy confessed 2 u dat he did d nasty nasty wt some1 lse&ms virginia wants 2 break up wt him jst cos of dat?grow up girlie,u r acting up.dats no sin 2 me.he is just a man& he said he is sorry.unless u 'v got another reason

women r heartless, abekeade08 take note,
he confessed on his own, not u finding out,

wat u should do is forgive n not forget i.e. continue but be cautious

Thanks you guys. I appreciate all of your responses. I've decided to give him another chance cos of his honesty and see how things goes. Hopefully, things will work out for us. Many thanks again!

naijagal1:

Thanks you guys. I appreciate all of your responses. I've decided to give him another chance cos of his honesty and see how things goes. Hopefully, things will work out for us. Many thanks again!

i beg hook me up with one of your friends

woye77:

i beg hook me up with one of your friends

Why?

Pls break up wit him and come chill out wit me.i wont cheat on u,id only try my luck on other girls

naijagal1:

Why?

just hook me up - u can always know the why later

i advice you stick with him,

woye77:

just hook me up - u can always know the why later

Ok I havent got any friend that is single

BLACKSNIP:

i advice you stick with him,

Thanks. I've decided I will.

frozennose:

When a man cheats the world will say forgive him it's his nature(a man's world)
But when a woman cheats it becomes an abomination
Crucify her shes a disgrace
Now all these men are speaking up in support of
same crime they never supported

The difference is that most women dont just sleep around; it takes a lot for them to open their thighs I would assume. Men on the other hand can sleep with a girl without a face, talk less of having emotions or feelings

Thats why it is tough for guys to forgive such. For an engaged lady to sleep with someone else, if not for money, it takes much more than just fun.

silentc:


1. Men can separate love and intimacy

2. Women cannot. The 2 are intertwined.

Your man could be very much in love with you and sleep with someone else (I am not saying this is right at all). A man generally needs something physical to get aroused. Women generally want to know you first, then get stimulated mentally by you, then develop feelings for you before even thinking of intimacy.

Very well said.
This is why it is easier for the ladies to forgive but real tough for a man to forgive.

The good thing is he came forward with the info, the bad thing is the trust issue that will arise from this situation. Do you think you can handle it? Only you can answer that question.

Case close already!!! _{*what am i waiting for*}

Ebonyeyes:

The good thing is he came forward with the info, the bad thing is the trust issue that will arise from this situation. Do you think you can handle it? Only you can answer that question.

Yes. I can learn to trust him again with time cos it's not easy. It's only a gradual process.

dear monkeys

LWKMD

ill adress yall later!


@ poster

he cheated, its either u can stay with an unfaithful guy or not

confessing is jack shizz u probably would have found out anyway

the truith is he betrayed you and he would prob do it again

if it disturbs you then you need to leave him

most women dont really care- if u fall into that category then stop complaining and move on

hes told u already- ur choice is clear cut!

i personally will dump his cheating ass in the lagoon i dont give a shizz hw much he cries!

Well said, if you cannot handle it, then let him go.

Better to cut it now than let it bottle up to explode later on.

I can handle it now cos it only happened once but if it happens again then I'm definately out. I'm only giving him a second chance, thats all

women r heartless, abekeade08 take note,
he confessed on his own, not u finding out,
wat u should do is forgive n not forget i.e. continue but be cautious

kpolli, I am most definitely not heartless, If i were your girl and i cheated on you, be honest would you want to be with me after that?? Where there is no trust there can be no relationship. When trust is lost, a relationship is doomed to fail.

I personally can't be with a man knowing that he has cheated on me.

Insert Quote
u no get case.u seriously mean a core naija guy confessed 2 u dat he did d nasty nasty wt some1 lse&ms virginia wants 2 break up wt him jst cos of dat?grow up girlie,u r acting up.dats no sin 2 me.he is just a man& he said he is sorry.unless u 'v got another reason

Look at amyg's response above, unfortunately a lot of my girlfriends in naija think this way.  They take all kinds of ish from naija men. Their men will cheat on them and they think its not a big deal. I always wonder why this is, is it because women are generally more dependant on men in naija and they feel they don't have a choice but to keep getting disrespected on a daily basis??. 

Well I have my own house and very comfortable job, I pay my own bills, do everything for myself without asking any man or woman for a dime. Also where i live, we have a lot of choices and varities of men from everywhere on planet earth. If a man made the  misake of cheating on me, I would kick his backside to the curb, so fast, his head won't even have time to spin, and i would expect the same treatment if i did the same to him.

But to each their own. Naijagirl, goodluck with your decision.

my sisi i beg 4 give d guy do u know if d new guy wey u go get go even chop d yam under d same roof without u smellin a rat, just 4give d guy jo, so make ur negative reaction no back fire 4 future. The truth don put my guy 4 trouble na wa 4 life.