yomi007k:


U jus dey talk like dt....u dont knw how much he earns, how he spends it n who he is supporting plus courtesy demands dt a guest informs d host before coming over.


Im a very disciplined guy and my friends n family knw better dan to visit me b4 informing first....im sorry but it's who i am.

....well sha God knws best.

I understand the fact that she didn't inform him before coming but then, she is here already, why not pretend for even a second because this person in question is now a family member, who might be of help to them someday, especially when his wife is pregnant or about putting to bed, she will need a sister to assist and be by her. These are some of the things he should have considered or thoughts of before reacting the way he did. Any way, God knows the best.

coolcatty:
U need to stamp your feet down.... Personally I will advise you to halt the wedding plans for now... The woman in question is domineering... Insulting, I can bet she is ungrateful too and doesn't respect you... Trust me you will eventually be forced to beat her and the society will brand you a woman beater...
.

The signs are all there... There is no respect for you from your woman and her family.... People have been in this kind of situation and are regretting it.

Pls halt the wedding for now.

good advice

I am sorry to say most of the people getting married now don't know what it is to stay married. So far u have agreed to come together, you have lost every sense of your individual life and decisions. Any thing you want to do and you know that it will impact negative on your spouse he or she is supposed to be in the know.

Marriage issues aren't solved by knowing the immediate cause, you have to know the root cause. For those blaming the man. The root cause is the woman bringing the sister without informing him. In which isn't supposed to be like that. The man only reacted the way he reacted because he felt his position was undermined.

Though he is wrong to have told his cousin to tell him whatsoever happens in the house. This isn't sustained cos he is the man n not the woman.

The woman should have informed the hubby that the sister is coming to stay. I hate couples who put his or her spouse in the middle.

Married couples please learn how to respect each other. Inform your spouse wen any of your family is coming to stay. And if they came n exceeded the number of days already told. Have the courtesy to go back and inform your spouse that their stay have been extended. Even if you are the man bringing the money. The woman has a role to play too. As your money can't stand up n cook for your siblings. Or even the woman providing more. You need to Accord respect to the man by carrying him along.

If couples learn to respect each other's feelings. The world would be a better place.

Are you not married already, you called her your wife sebi you have done your traditional halting the white wedding plans doesn't change the fact that you are married .


Anyway both of you need to grow up, this is not supposed to be an issue, just a little wisdom and tact
Your lady is not very wise and you too have your own issues.

coolcatty:


Dull thing.... Stop displaying you Moroniic ignorance in public and learn to read more......... Commonsense should have told you they have had their introduction and traditional marriage hence the cohabitation.


Dullina..

that's why people don't make progress in life.... someone you don't know, you're insulting.... it shows poor mannerisms....
i hope you feel better about yourself for doing what you did?

The sister is your Sister inlaw. Even if your wife did not mention it, you had a right to be upset but to discuss it with your wife in a cool manner so that SIL doesn't feel like her coming is a taboo or big issue.
You complain about your wife now but i suppose that you have dated her for a while and accepted her flaws enough for you to wed her traditionally and i know you also has flaws that she has to deal with. Or are you perfect? You are the man of the house and should be able to handle the affairs with understanding,love and wisdom. Being the man does not mean being autocratic and demanding respect and wanting to control. It requires more strength of the mind than physical.
What i see is a lack of unity between you and your wife. If you are united, no one would be able to come between both of you. Even when an issue like this comes up, you would resolve it without a 3rd party knowing that their action was a problem.
Both of you should start talking and understanding each other more. Only SIL is shaking your marriage. Mother in law has not even come yet (your mum or her mum)

All of this commotion because of gas and hot water See poverty!

Jahblessme:
[s]

Gosh!! where do i start from What kind of local story is this?

1. Your wife should have discussed with you first before her sister visited you both-she was very wrong but everything after that made you look so petty.You were counting water used to bathe and asking your cousin helper to report to you first? If she wants to eat eggs will that also be reported to you?Do you also measure yam with ruler in your house?
Your actions have sown a very bad seed - belittling your SIL & your wife.I do not blame your wife for being very angry but she should have cooled off first and expressed her annoyance to you without flaring up.

Just a quick question OP,if your sister visits and your wife tells your little cousin to report to her first before doing anything she asks for nko?How would that sit with you?Just know your wife will never forget,be ready for your siblings to recieve the same hot soup

Yes,you should have been told before her sis landed ,but the deed had already been done.You should have controlled yourself instead of acting like a miserable being.What did your SIL do wrong?she probably thought she was coming to visit human beings who would treat her well not knowing her husband is a hot water measurer
Best approach would have been to discuss the issue with your spouse quietly.See disgrace!



Your wife raised her voice,you raised your own too,asked her to leave your room.'Yoour Room'??!!! i thought you both are married? I cant even believe what i'm reading here.
In the same sentence you talked about not wanting to be a woman beater.I do not see any reason why beating should come into this abi you normally beat or you were raised by a beater?Violence should not be an option.ah ahhh!!!


Both of you displayed shameful behavior and i don't blame your SIL for leaving,you disgraced her infront of your cousin helper,you disgraced your wife,your wife as disgraced you & you have made her feel unwelcome. Tueh
She will go and tell the story to family members who already don't like you and you will officially enter hate list with tattered reputation.

Please do the world a favour and delay this wedding till you both learn to behave like adults.


If you want to be the leader of your home you must learn to conduct yourself with dignity and self respect.You have to lead by example.
Discussions can be had without raising of voices.If your wife starts to shout,tell her you won't listen till she calms down and addresses you like an adult.I also expect her to do the same to you.That way you both will learn to trust each other and start building your little unit,she will also stop seeing the need to tell every little deed to her family as you will become her best friend and confidante.

Normally you should be in honeymoon phase but you people are already acting like cat and dog.
Good luck o.






By the way the way you worded little cousin and 2 big pots are you trying to imply that the girl is too little to do chores in general or specifically chores for SIL? If she is little,ideally she shouldn't be in your home doing housework.[/s]

Get sense.

Richy4:
You did what u feel was right @ that moment...

Your sister inlaw was a classy young woman too I must say, she left when she was supposed to..Maybe She never knew her coming will be a problem,maybe she felt her sister will sort u out...But she got it wrong.. Some ladies would have stayed even when they knew they were not welcomed..

If u have a younger bro, or Sis, just expect a cold welcome from your wife anytime they step into your house..it will never be forgotten...

U mistakenly broke an unwritten code that most women held with high esteem especially from the Eastern part of Nigeria....They always want to show that they are comfortable in their husband's house and their relatives are welcome to stay for sometime..I guess that was why she was mad @ u

Just say u were sorry bro.. with a peace offering like earring, or perfume etc.

Say sorry my foot! What made his wife feel she can take decisions without carrying hubby along? Imagine asking the sister to come without informing her hubby. That's a sign of lack of respect.

She even have the guts to shout when she overheard the hubby asking his cousin to always get approval from him for certain issues, whereas her own sister came without hubby's notice.

Oga, it's either she apologies and learn manners, or face more confrontations from hubby

Benita27:
Truth be told, two wrongs can't make a right. You were wrong, your wife was for not telling you her sis was coming over to stay but yours was grave. C'mon! What kind of instruction was that?. Were you expecting your wife to listen to that demeaning conversation between you and your cousin and applaud you for doing so?. Oga, you're not accommodating, and the instructions you gave that little girl would affect your marriage negatively on the long run. Imagine where your wife sends the girl an errand, and you're not home. She would disobey your wife with the excuse that you said she should take orders from you on whatever your In-law wants. You sowed the wrong seed in that child and the earlier you correct that the better.

Talk to your wife about inviting a third party into your marital affairs.

Let's learn to stick to facts.

Op never asked the cousin to disobey wifey, he only asked her to inform him whenever the uninvited sis inlaw dishes out commands without his notice. That's not too much, he foots the bill and should decide when and how an uninvited guess under his roof should live in his house.

The wife should learn some manners and inform hubby when next her people wants to visit with all the bags in their house. I bet hubby's cousin did not just appear one day and start staying with them without wifey being in the picture

richyblink1:


Let's learn to stick to facts.

Op never asked the cousin to disobey wifey, he only asked her to inform him whenever the uninvited sis inlaw dishes out commands without his notice. That's not too much, he foots the bill and should decide when and how an uninvited guess under his roof should live in his house.

The wife should learn some manners and inform hubby when next her people wants to visit with all the bags in their house. I bet hubby's cousin did not just appear one day and start staying with them without wifey being in the picture

You obviously failed at comprehending what I said. Never said he asked the girl to disobey his wife but that the instructions he gave the girl would have a negative effect in his marriage which would make the girl disobey his wife on the long run with the excuse that the man of the house said she should ask him first before doing anything for his in-laws. Was that difficult to grasp?.

Secondly, in marriage; man and wife are one. So there's nothing like I paid the bills so I must take all the decisions. They arrive at decisions jointly. That you paid all the bills doesn't mean you call all the shots. They're called husband and wife for a reason.

Need I tell you that the man's actions were petty. If I were his sister in-law I would have left too never to visit him in my life. What kind of man quarrels over pots of boiled water for his in-law, whether he was told or not?.

Benita27:
You obviously failed at comprehending what I said. Never said he asked the girl to disobey his wife but that the instructions he gave the girl would have a negative effect in his marriage which would make the girl disobey his wife on the long run with the excuse that the man of the house said she should ask him first before doing anything for his in-laws. Was that difficult to grasp?.

Secondly, in marriage; man and wife are one. So there's nothing like I paid the bills so I must take all the decisions. They arrive at decisions jointly. That you paid all the bills doesn't mean you call all the shorts. They're called husband and wife for a reason.

Need I tell you that the man's actions were petty. If I were his sister in-law I would have left too never to visit him in my life. What kind of man quarrels over pots of boiled water for his in-law, whether he was told or not?.

Is it equally difficult to grasp that the sis inlaw was an uninvited guess? And as such should be treated like one.

Respect should be earned you know. What stopped the sister in law from calling her bro in law to inform him of her visit ahead of time.

Need I equally tell you that the wife intend calling the shots by asking her sister to come without informing hubby? And if not checked, "good morning, will give birth to how are you"

richyblink1:


Is it equally difficult to grasp that the sis inlaw was an uninvited guess? And as such should be treated like one.

Respect should be earned you know. What stopped the sister in law from calling her bro in law to inform him of her visit ahead of time.

Need I equally tell you that the wife intend calling the shots by asking her sister to come without informing hubby? And if not checked, "good morning, will give birth to how are you"

So if your brother visits your house without a prior call or message that he would be visiting, will you throw him out or treat him badly 'cause you were not informed?. If you check yourself and you know the answer is "No" then let's call it a day.

Benita27:
So if your brother visits your house without a prior call or message that he would be visiting, will you throw him out or treat him badly 'cause you were not informed?. If you check yourself and you know the answer is "No" then let's call it a day.

Like you said earlier, you fail to comprehend. A visit with Ghana must go bag should not be treated lightly as it's a planned visit, hence needs an approval.

If you check yourself and understand the difference between a scheduled and planned visit and an impromptu visit, then we can call it a day

richyblink1:


Say sorry my foot! What made his wife feel she can decisions without carrying hubby along? Imagine asking to sister to come without informing her hubby. That's a sign of lack of respect.

She even have the guts to shout when she overheard the hubby asking his cousin to always get approval from him for certain issues, whereas her own sister came without hubby's notice.

Oga, it's either she apologies and learn manners, or face more confrontations from hubby

My brother, You are simply missing the point..
The Sister inlaw i guess was @ the orientation camp but felt that she doesn't want the stress, and decides to camp in her sister's house

Maybe she thought that since her sister's wedding was around the corner, she can stay and help her out with shopping and all other running around....

Yes the wife missed it by not informing the husband, but If the man was an accomodating individual, the issue would have been ironed out in the bedroom..

But let me ask u, if u were married, and your younger sister call that she will be spending a week in your house.. on her arrival you heard your wife telling your house help not to do anything to assist your sister without informing her.. hw will that sit with you? Besides, the OP has been complainng that the inlaws doesn't like him...But this singular act he portrayed,how will they like him if they get to hear this..

For me, I don't see his grudges as an issue...He should show that he is the bigger man and ask for forgiveness...it doesn't matter who was at fault

Richy4:


My brother, You are simply missing the point..
The Sister inlaw i guess was @ the orientation camp but felt that she doesn't want the stress, and decides to camp in her sister's house

Maybe she thought that since her sister's wedding was around the corner, she can stay and help her out with shopping and all other running around....

Yes the wife missed it by not informing the husband, but If the man was an accomodating individual, the issue would have been ironed out in the bedroom..

But let me ask u, if u were married, and your younger sister call that she will be spending a week in your house.. on her arrival you heard your wife telling your house help not to do anything to assist your sister without informing her.. hw will that sit with you? Besides, the OP has been complainng that the inlaws doesn't like him...But this singular act he portrayed,how will they like him if they get to hear this..

For me, I don't see his grudges as an issue...He should show that he is the bigger man and ask for forgiveness...it doesn't matter who was at fault

Not if I were married, I am married with kids. And no visitor has ever visited my house(my mum inclusive) without me personally informing wifey. As I talk to you I have both mother in law, brother in law and sister in law in my house at the moment. So I have no fuse about in laws visiting, but it must be spelt out.

No one comes to my house unannounced and start issuing order around. Yes the hubby over amplified the issue, but madam lack respect.

Do you know at times my mum calls my wife to inform her she will be visiting, it's my wife that will stylishly tell me that mama might be coming next month. I will just laugh because I know they have spoken. When I will ask my mum why she hasn't told me, she will simply say that there is still time, that she only informed the madam of the house ahead of time.

richyblink1:


Not if I were married, I am married with kids. And no visitor has ever visited my house(my mum inclusive) without me personally informing wifey. As I talk to you I have both mother in law, brother in law and sister in law in my house at the moment. So I have no fuse about in laws visiting, but it must be spelt out.

No one comes to my house unannounced and start issuing order around. Yes the hubby over amplified the issue, but madam lack respect.

Do you know at times my mum calls my wife to inform her she will be visiting, it's my wife that will stylishly tell me that mama might be coming next month. I will just laugh because I know they have spoken. When I will ask my mum why she hasn't told me, she will simply say that there is still time, that she only informed the madam of the house ahead of time.

We are still saying the same thing man...The whole thing is all about accommodating ..judging by what i read, OP isn't the type.....He might be the type that doesn't play the extended family thing, and i do not blame him for that because people are different ...And I believe that the girl did not show up unannounced only that the woman of the house treated her coming in a casual way..That was why she left with her dignity intact ...these days that mobile phones are everywhere, who shows up in another person's house unannounced...?

richyblink1:


Not if I were married, I am married with kids. And no visitor has ever visited my house(my mum inclusive) without me personally informing wifey. As I talk to you I have both mother in law, brother in law and sister in law in my house at the moment. So I have no fuse about in laws visiting, but it must be spelt out.

No one comes to my house unannounced and start issuing order around. Yes the hubby over amplified the issue, but madam lack respect.

Do you know at times my mum calls my wife to inform her she will be visiting, it's my wife that will stylishly tell me that mama might be coming next month. I will just laugh because I know they have spoken. When I will ask my mum why she hasn't told me, she will simply say that there is still time, that she only informed the madam of the house ahead of time.

But should it cause a major fracas because the wife failed to inform him? Isn't it something they could have talked through privately and resolved without the SIL being in the line of fire. Going as far as telling his cousin to consult him before doing anything for the SIL is petty and unnecessary. It would have been better to discuss with the wife and tell her to try to manage the situation and her sister's excesses during the time that she is there. He actually did not handle it well. These things are done with wisdom. You might dislike an inlaw but they will never know.
If my BIL or SIL comes with load without my husband informing me, i will take it out on my husband but i will make sure my inlaw is comfortable. The wife was wrong and the husband was "more wrong" cos he couldn't handle the situation.

Plankton2017:
Good day fellow NL,

Please judge this case. Last week thursday my sister inlaw visited me and my wife from NYSC camp. I was shocked when I welcomed her because it was no ordinary visit. she came with a full ghana must go. We greeted and I got to know that she escaped from camp due to the tough tasks on camp. My wife never told me her sister was coming to stay. We have lived amicably till yesterday.

My lil cuzin that stays and helps us with chores was mandated by her to cook 2 big pots of water for her to bath. I scolded my cousin and told her why didnt she use the electric kettle so as to save gas which we just replaced with 6k. I now gave her a warning that whatever my inlaw wants that she should ask me 1st. I even got to know that my wife lied to me that her parents knew she left camp. My wife heard our conversation and started antagonizing me that why did I tell my cuz to always ask me b4 she obeys her sister. she was shouting at the top of her voice even my inlaw could hear. This angered me and I shouted back and told her to leave my room. she continued shouting and even slept in the sitting room as I slept alone.

This afternoon while working on my computer for hours I came out of the room only to find out my sister in law has packed her things back to her NYSC camp without telling me but my wife knows....I am slatted to officially do my white wedding next saturday. I just feel down because we quarell too much and my wife talks in a domineering way. I have warned her about it and I do not want to turn a woman beater. Any quarell we have she tells her parents and siblings which make them never free with me and act cold towards me. Damn it! pls advice me

Bro... God is giving you one last chance to think properly before u completely tie the knot in bondage....sorry marriage. Bro think well. Marriage is meant to be a thing of joy. Granted, there will always be issues, but.. If the beginning of eternity in marriage is like this. ..how will the middle be. I won't say go or stay. It's a decision that only you can take. But if what is meant to bring you joy is bring you sadness, shame and grief..... It's well. Amen

ImaIma1:


But should it cause a major fracas because the wife failed to inform him? Isn't it something they could have talked through privately and resolved without the SIL being in the line of fire. Going as far as telling his cousin to consult him before doing anything for the SIL is petty and unnecessary. It would have been better to discuss with the wife and tell her to try to manage the situation and her sister's excesses during the time that she is there. He actually did not handle it well. These things are done with wisdom. You might dislike an inlaw but they will never know.
If my BIL or SIL comes with load without my husband informing me, i will take it out on my husband but i will make sure my inlaw is comfortable. The wife was wrong and the husband was "more wrong" cos he couldn't handle the situation.

Mind you, hubby never confronted the sis in law, neither did he say they shouldn't allow her access to stuffs at home. He only directed that he be aware when sister in law gives order in his house.

It's a simple issue the wife failed to address that gave birth to all the many grammars. What stopped her from confronting hubby politely when she overheard hubby's instructions to his cousin. Must she shout to pass her message giving the fact that she started the whole drama by undermining her hubby.

Let me give you an example. My sis in law was already on her way when wifey informed me about her trip. How she presented it made me overlook it.
So I wonder why the wife felt shouting is the way out.

richyblink1:


Mind you, hubby never confronted the sis in law, neither did he say they shouldn't allow her access to stuffs at home. He only directed that he be aware when sister in law gives order in his house.

It's a simple issue the wife failed to address that gave birth to all the many grammars. What stopped her from confronting hubby politely when she overheard hubby's instructions to his cousin. Must she shout to pass her message giving the fact that she started the whole drama by undermining her hubby.

Let me give you an example. My sis in law was already on her way when wifey informed me about her trip. How she presented it made me overlook it.
So I wonder why the wife felt shouting is the way out.

I never said the husband confronted his SIL but she heard the quarrel over her. So if the SIL says to the cousin "I am hungry, what is available to eat", the cousin should contact the husband even when he is not around and ask him if she should give her food before she does. He could as well just lock the kitchen and hold the key.
These things are not cast and stone. People make mistakes but compounding issues only makes it worse. Is it the gravest offence for his inlaw to visit without being informed by his wife? NO. If he cannot manage a little issue like this, what happens to bigger issues because as a married man yourself, you know they will come. His reaction and attitude only tells about the kind of man he is.
I can pack my load and go to my sister's place and my BIL will welcome me and even joke with me and then go inside and quietly scold his wife and let her know she was wrong not to tell him i was coming but he would come back outside smiling. That is maturity and wisdom.
If OP wants to measure yam or count gas, he shouldn't complain about his inlaws not liking him.

Nawa o
No be this same thing women dey do, that earns them the bad wife tag? OP's wife was wrong, very wrong...but OP, being the man of the house didn't handle it any better.

They both have a lot of growing to do.

Jahblessme:


Gosh!! where do i start from What kind of local story is this?

1. Your wife should have discussed with you first before her sister visited you both-she was very wrong but everything after that made you look so petty.You were counting water used to bathe and asking your cousin helper to report to you first? If she wants to eat eggs will that also be reported to you?Do you also measure yam with ruler in your house?
Your actions have sown a very bad seed - belittling your SIL & your wife.I do not blame your wife for being very angry but she should have cooled off first and expressed her annoyance to you without flaring up.

Just a quick question OP,if your sister visits and your wife tells your little cousin to report to her first before doing anything she asks for nko?How would that sit with you?Just know your wife will never forget,be ready for your siblings to recieve the same hot soup

Yes,you should have been told before her sis landed ,but the deed had already been done.You should have controlled yourself instead of acting like a miserable being.What did your SIL do wrong?she probably thought she was coming to visit human beings who would treat her well not knowing her husband is a hot water measurer
Best approach would have been to discuss the issue with your spouse quietly.See disgrace!



Your wife raised her voice,you raised your own too,asked her to leave your room.'Yoour Room'??!!! i thought you both are married? I cant even believe what i'm reading here.
In the same sentence you talked about not wanting to be a woman beater.I do not see any reason why beating should come into this abi you normally beat or you were raised by a beater?Violence should not be an option.ah ahhh!!!


Both of you displayed shameful behavior and i don't blame your SIL for leaving,you disgraced her infront of your cousin helper,you disgraced your wife,your wife as disgraced you & you have made her feel unwelcome. Tueh
She will go and tell the story to family members who already don't like you and you will officially enter hate list with tattered reputation.

Please do the world a favour and delay this wedding till you both learn to behave like adults.


If you want to be the leader of your home you must learn to conduct yourself with dignity and self respect.You have to lead by example.
Discussions can be had without raising of voices.If your wife starts to shout,tell her you won't listen till she calms down and addresses you like an adult.I also expect her to do the same to you.That way you both will learn to trust each other and start building your little unit,she will also stop seeing the need to tell every little deed to her family as you will become her best friend and confidante.

Normally you should be in honeymoon phase but you people are already acting like cat and dog.
Good luck o.






By the way the way you worded little cousin and 2 big pots are you trying to imply that the girl is too little to do chores in general or specifically chores for SIL? If she is little,ideally she shouldn't be in your home doing housework.

The only unbiased post in this thread!!

Dear plankton2017,its not strange that you disagree,you disagree to agree.Infact if you don't fight then there's a problem. Do you want to marry a doormat,she has to say her mind but how she says it and after is what is important.
some things are to be corrected from your post by both of you;
1. You shouldn't have' your' room.It brings division,huge one .you wouldn't even knw when you'll start living as roomies rather than lovers.
2. both of you will learn how to discuss after each quarrel. as man most times initiate it.women are petty and may not want to initiate it.
3.Don't let the ppl in your house 'see you finish',it brings insults and looking down.If you must shout, go into your private room and vent.
4. you and your wife should inform each other first before even your mums come.that way no party will feel aggrieved or burdened.
5.Both of you should learn to say sorry always,it doesnt reduce anybody
5. Pls always pray together.one hardly quarells with whoever he/she prays with.
pls show her these and may God's love and peace abide in your sweet home.

Why do you have to wait this long to be concerned about her domineering attitude ?
You have to go ahead with the wedding and
hope she changes.

However, you erred in denying your in-law free access to food,
if you must manage due to economic reasons, you should
have discussed that with your wife instead of instructing
your cousin to monitor the eating habits of your in- law,
that is insulting and disrespectful, If I were your in-law,
I will stay away from your house forever.

Jejely

hmmmm... just reading thou'.. Download Latest American Singles @ilove goodmusic . com

Plankton2017:
Good day fellow NL,

Please judge this case. Last week thursday my sister inlaw visited me and my wife from NYSC camp. I was shocked when I welcomed her because it was no ordinary visit. she came with a full ghana must go. We greeted and I got to know that she escaped from camp due to the tough tasks on camp. My wife never told me her sister was coming to stay. We have lived amicably till yesterday.

My lil cuzin that stays and helps us with chores was mandated by her to cook 2 big pots of water for her to bath. I scolded my cousin and told her why didnt she use the electric kettle so as to save gas which we just replaced with 6k. I now gave her a warning that whatever my inlaw wants that she should ask me 1st. I even got to know that my wife lied to me that her parents knew she left camp. My wife heard our conversation and started antagonizing me that why did I tell my cuz to always ask me b4 she obeys her sister. she was shouting at the top of her voice even my inlaw could hear. This angered me and I shouted back and told her to leave my room. she continued shouting and even slept in the sitting room as I slept alone.

This afternoon while working on my computer for hours I came out of the room only to find out my sister in law has packed her things back to her NYSC camp without telling me but my wife knows....I am slatted to officially do my white wedding next saturday. I just feel down because we quarell too much and my wife talks in a domineering way. I have warned her about it and I do not want to turn a woman beater. Any quarell we have she tells her parents and siblings which make them never free with me and act cold towards me. Damn it! pls advice me

there are one billion fishes in the river. the unsubmissive wife is bad news anyday. if you dont want to die of high bp, stay single and be happy.

What volume of gas (LPG) did you buy for N6,000.00?

Plankton2017:
Good day fellow NL,

Please judge this case. Last week thursday my sister inlaw visited me and my wife from NYSC camp. I was shocked when I welcomed her because it was no ordinary visit. she came with a full ghana must go. We greeted and I got to know that she escaped from camp due to the tough tasks on camp. My wife never told me her sister was coming to stay. We have lived amicably till yesterday.

My lil cuzin that stays and helps us with chores was mandated by her to cook 2 big pots of water for her to bath. I scolded my cousin and told her why didnt she use the electric kettle so as to save gas which we just replaced with 6k. I now gave her a warning that whatever my inlaw wants that she should ask me 1st. I even got to know that my wife lied to me that her parents knew she left camp. My wife heard our conversation and started antagonizing me that why did I tell my cuz to always ask me b4 she obeys her sister. she was shouting at the top of her voice even my inlaw could hear. This angered me and I shouted back and told her to leave my room. she continued shouting and even slept in the sitting room as I slept alone.

This afternoon while working on my computer for hours I came out of the room only to find out my sister in law has packed her things back to her NYSC camp without telling me but my wife knows....I am slatted to officially do my white wedding next saturday. I just feel down because we quarell too much and my wife talks in a domineering way. I have warned her about it and I do not want to turn a woman beater. Any quarell we have she tells her parents and siblings which make them never free with me and act cold towards me. Damn it! pls advice me

Don't mind some crazy advice you getting here. Sit her down and you guys talk it out like adults. Tell her the things she does that you don't like...

Is it easy to fall out of love with someone u really love?

Gourdoinc:
when you marry her, manage her till she gives you the kids you want, then if her character hasn't improved, fall out of love with her and whatever she does again will never bother you no more. woman can only bother you as long as ur in love with her

I thought something else happened. ... like you came in and saw the lady undressed and you went inside your room and she followed you and something happened. .
Anyways, jst prepare yourself for worst situations, bt i wont advice you to quit. No lady is perfect. Thats why God gave the authority of your marriage to you. She'll eventually come to understand.

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