Plankton2017:
Good day fellow NL,

Please judge this case. Last week thursday my sister inlaw visited me and my wife from NYSC camp. I was shocked when I welcomed her because it was no ordinary visit. she came with a full ghana must go. We greeted and I got to know that she escaped from camp due to the tough tasks on camp. My wife never told me her sister was coming to stay. We have lived amicably till yesterday.

My lil cuzin that stays and helps us with chores was mandated by her to cook 2 big pots of water for her to bath. I scolded my cousin and told her why didnt she use the electric kettle so as to save gas which we just replaced with 6k. I now gave her a warning that whatever my inlaw wants that she should ask me 1st. I even got to know that my wife lied to me that her parents knew she left camp. My wife heard our conversation and started antagonizing me that why did I tell my cuz to always ask me b4 she obeys her sister. she was shouting at the top of her voice even my inlaw could hear. This angered me and I shouted back and told her to leave my room. she continued shouting and even slept in the sitting room as I slept alone.

This afternoon while working on my computer for hours I came out of the room only to find out my sister in law has packed her things back to her NYSC camp without telling me but my wife knows....I am slatted to officially do my white wedding next saturday. I just feel down because we quarell too much and my wife talks in a domineering way. I have warned her about it and I do not want to turn a woman beater. Any quarell we have she tells her parents and siblings which make them never free with me and act cold towards me. Damn it! pls advice me

Richy4:
You did what u feel was right @ that moment...

Your sister inlaw was a classy young woman too I must say, she left when she was supposed to..Maybe She never knew her coming will be a problem,maybe she felt her sister will sort u out...But she got it wrong.. Some ladies would have stayed even when they knew they were not welcomed..

If u have a younger bro, or Sis, just expect a cold welcome from your wife anytime they step into your house..it will never be forgotten...

U mistakenly broke an unwritten code that most women held with high esteem especially from the Eastern part of Nigeria....They always want to show that they are comfortable in their husband's house and their relatives are welcome to stay for sometime..I guess that was why she was mad @ u

Just say u were sorry bro.. with a peace offering like earring, or perfume etc.
The "unwritten code" also states you should not inform your hubby before your family comes calling?
These two people obviously have NOTHING together...

ststyreal:

If I were to be your wife, marriage don end be that. You are too womanish, habaaaa kilode! Person no fit come your house in peace. @Op you are too stingy and a nagger at the same time, complaining of gas because of common water, na waoooooo.

Richy4:
You did what u feel was right @ that moment...

Your sister inlaw was a classy young woman too I must say, she left when she was supposed to..Maybe She never knew her coming will be a problem,maybe she felt her sister will sort u out...But she got it wrong.. Some ladies would have stayed even when they knew they were not welcomed..

If u have a younger bro, or Sis, just expect a cold welcome from your wife anytime they step into your house..it will never be forgotten...

U mistakenly broke an unwritten code that most women held with high esteem especially from the Eastern part of Nigeria....They always want to show that they are comfortable in their husband's house and their relatives are welcome to stay for sometime..I guess that was why she was mad @ u

Just say u were sorry bro.. with a peace offering like earring, or perfume etc.

Plankton2017:
Good day fellow NL,

Please judge this case. Last week thursday my sister inlaw visited me and my wife from NYSC camp. I was shocked when I welcomed her because it was no ordinary visit. she came with a full ghana must go. We greeted and I got to know that she escaped from camp due to the tough tasks on camp. My wife never told me her sister was coming to stay. We have lived amicably till yesterday.

My lil cuzin that stays and helps us with chores was mandated by her to cook 2 big pots of water for her to bath. I scolded my cousin and told her why didnt she use the electric kettle so as to save gas which we just replaced with 6k. I now gave her a warning that whatever my inlaw wants that she should ask me 1st. I even got to know that my wife lied to me that her parents knew she left camp. My wife heard our conversation and started antagonizing me that why did I tell my cuz to always ask me b4 she obeys her sister. she was shouting at the top of her voice even my inlaw could hear. This angered me and I shouted back and told her to leave my room. she continued shouting and even slept in the sitting room as I slept alone.

This afternoon while working on my computer for hours I came out of the room only to find out my sister in law has packed her things back to her NYSC camp without telling me but my wife knows....I am slatted to officially do my white wedding next saturday. I just feel down because we quarell too much and my wife talks in a domineering way. I have warned her about it and I do not want to turn a woman beater. Any quarell we have she tells her parents and siblings which make them never free with me and act cold towards me. Damn it! pls advice me

Plankton2017:
Good day fellow NL,

Please judge this case. Last week thursday my sister inlaw visited me and my wife from NYSC camp. I was shocked when I welcomed her because it was no ordinary visit. she came with a full ghana must go. We greeted and I got to know that she escaped from camp due to the tough tasks on camp. My wife never told me her sister was coming to stay. We have lived amicably till yesterday.

My lil cuzin that stays and helps us with chores was mandated by her to cook 2 big pots of water for her to bath. I scolded my cousin and told her why didnt she use the electric kettle so as to save gas which we just replaced with 6k. I now gave her a warning that whatever my inlaw wants that she should ask me 1st. I even got to know that my wife lied to me that her parents knew she left camp. My wife heard our conversation and started antagonizing me that why did I tell my cuz to always ask me b4 she obeys her sister. she was shouting at the top of her voice even my inlaw could hear. This angered me and I shouted back and told her to leave my room. she continued shouting and even slept in the sitting room as I slept alone.

This afternoon while working on my computer for hours I came out of the room only to find out my sister in law has packed her things back to her NYSC camp without telling me but my wife knows....I am slatted to officially do my white wedding next saturday. I just feel down because we quarell too much and my wife talks in a domineering way. I have warned her about it and I do not want to turn a woman beater. Any quarell we have she tells her parents and siblings which make them never free with me and act cold towards me. Damn it! pls advice me

coolcatty:
U need to stamp your feet down.... Personally I will advise you to halt the wedding plans for now... The woman in question is domineering... Insulting, I can bet she is ungrateful too and doesn't respect you... Trust me you will eventually be forced to beat her and the society will brand you a woman beater...
.

The signs are all there... There is no respect for you from your woman and her family.... People have been in this kind of situation and are regretting it.

Pls halt the wedding for now.

jashar:
you're not yet married.
you're living together.
your 'future sister-in-law' even had the effrontery to pack load and come stay with you guys.
her parents know you're not yet married and they let another child of theirs come and live with you.
there's a young child also living with you and getting certain impressions.
Na wa ooo...

Plankton2017:
Good day fellow NL,

Please judge this case. Last week thursday my sister inlaw visited me and my wife from NYSC camp. I was shocked when I welcomed her because it was no ordinary visit. she came with a full ghana must go. We greeted and I got to know that she escaped from camp due to the tough tasks on camp. My wife never told me her sister was coming to stay. We have lived amicably till yesterday.

My lil cuzin that stays and helps us with chores was mandated by her to cook 2 big pots of water for her to bath. I scolded my cousin and told her why didnt she use the electric kettle so as to save gas which we just replaced with 6k. I now gave her a warning that whatever my inlaw wants that she should ask me 1st. I even got to know that my wife lied to me that her parents knew she left camp. My wife heard our conversation and started antagonizing me that why did I tell my cuz to always ask me b4 she obeys her sister. she was shouting at the top of her voice even my inlaw could hear. This angered me and I shouted back and told her to leave my room. she continued shouting and even slept in the sitting room as I slept alone.

This afternoon while working on my computer for hours I came out of the room only to find out my sister in law has packed her things back to her NYSC camp without telling me but my wife knows....I am slatted to officially do my white wedding next saturday. I just feel down because we quarell too much and my wife talks in a domineering way. I have warned her about it and I do not want to turn a woman beater. Any quarell we have she tells her parents and siblings which make them never free with me and act cold towards me. Damn it! pls advice me

Jahblessme:


Gosh!! where do i start from What kind of local story is this?

1. Your wife should have discussed with you first before her sister visited you both-she was very wrong but everything after that made you look so petty.You were counting water used to bathe and asking your cousin helper to report to you first? If she wants to eat eggs will that also be reported to you?Do you also measure yam with ruler in your house?
Your actions have sown a very bad seed - belittling your SIL & your wife.I do not blame your wife for being very angry but she should have cooled off first and expressed her annoyance to you without flaring up.

Just a quick question OP,if your sister visits and your wife tells your little cousin to report to her first before doing anything she asks for nko?How would that sit with you?Just know your wife will never forget,be ready for your siblings to recieve the same hot soup

Yes,you should have been told before her sis landed ,but the deed had already been done.You should have controlled yourself instead of acting like a miserable being.What did your SIL do wrong?she probably thought she was coming to visit human beings who would treat her well not knowing her husband is a hot water measurer
Best approach would have been to discuss the issue with your spouse quietly.See disgrace!



Your wife raised her voice,you raised your own too,asked her to leave your room.'Yoour Room'??!!! i thought you both are married? I cant even believe what i'm reading here.
In the same sentence you talked about not wanting to be a woman beater.I do not see any reason why beating should come into this abi you normally beat or you were raised by a beater?Violence should not be an option.ah ahhh!!!


Both of you displayed shameful behavior and i don't blame your SIL for leaving,you disgraced her infront of your cousin helper,you disgraced your wife,your wife as disgraced you & you have made her feel unwelcome. Tueh
She will go and tell the story to family members who already don't like you and you will officially enter hate list with tattered reputation.

Please do the world a favour and delay this wedding till you both learn to behave like adults.


If you want to be the leader of your home you must learn to conduct yourself with dignity and self respect.You have to lead by example.
Discussions can be had without raising of voices.If your wife starts to shout,tell her you won't listen till she calms down and addresses you like an adult.I also expect her to do the same to you.That way you both will learn to trust each other and start building your little unit,she will also stop seeing the need to tell every little deed to her family as you will become her best friend and confidante.

Normally you should be in honeymoon phase but you people are already acting like cat and dog.
Good luck o.






By the way the way you worded little cousin and 2 big pots are you trying to imply that the girl is too little to do chores in general or specifically chores for SIL? If she is little,ideally she shouldn't be in your home doing housework.

ststyreal:

I understand the fact that she didn't inform him before coming but then, she is here already, why not pretend for even a second because this person in question is now a family member, who might be of help to them someday, especially when his wife is pregnant or about putting to bed, she will need a sister to assist and be by her. These are some of the things he should have considered or thoughts of before reacting the way he did. Any way, God knows the best.

yomi007k:


So u prefer dey get married n later get a divorce?


I don't concur. If it was me, I wud postpone the wedding.

Jahblessme:


Gosh!! where do i start from What kind of local story is this?

1. Your wife should have discussed with you first before her sister visited you both-she was very wrong but everything after that made you look so petty.You were counting water used to bathe and asking your cousin helper to report to you first? If she wants to eat eggs will that also be reported to you?Do you also measure yam with ruler in your house?
Your actions have sown a very bad seed - belittling your SIL & your wife.I do not blame your wife for being very angry but she should have cooled off first and expressed her annoyance to you without flaring up.

Just a quick question OP,if your sister visits and your wife tells your little cousin to report to her first before doing anything she asks for nko?How would that sit with you?Just know your wife will never forget,be ready for your siblings to recieve the same hot soup

Yes,you should have been told before her sis landed ,but the deed had already been done.You should have controlled yourself instead of acting like a miserable being.What did your SIL do wrong?she probably thought she was coming to visit human beings who would treat her well not knowing her husband is a hot water measurer
Best approach would have been to discuss the issue with your spouse quietly.See disgrace!



Your wife raised her voice,you raised your own too,asked her to leave your room.'Yoour Room'??!!! i thought you both are married? I cant even believe what i'm reading here.
In the same sentence you talked about not wanting to be a woman beater.I do not see any reason why beating should come into this abi you normally beat or you were raised by a beater?Violence should not be an option.ah ahhh!!!


Both of you displayed shameful behavior and i don't blame your SIL for leaving,you disgraced her infront of your cousin helper,you disgraced your wife,your wife as disgraced you & you have made her feel unwelcome. Tueh
She will go and tell the story to family members who already don't like you and you will officially enter hate list with tattered reputation.

Please do the world a favour and delay this wedding till you both learn to behave like adults.


If you want to be the leader of your home you must learn to conduct yourself with dignity and self respect.You have to lead by example.
Discussions can be had without raising of voices.If your wife starts to shout,tell her you won't listen till she calms down and addresses you like an adult.I also expect her to do the same to you.That way you both will learn to trust each other and start building your little unit,she will also stop seeing the need to tell every little deed to her family as you will become her best friend and confidante.

Normally you should be in honeymoon phase but you people are already acting like cat and dog.
Good luck o.






By the way the way you worded little cousin and 2 big pots are you trying to imply that the girl is too little to do chores in general or specifically chores for SIL? If she is little,ideally she shouldn't be in your home doing housework.

Jahblessme:


Am i supposed to take the sabi sabi as insult?
Why should he undermine his wife in such a manner?His wife yelled,yes but where did she 'command' him?
I believe that when people get obsessed with control issues they are usually insecure.
If you are confident in yourself ,make logical decisions and act mature,you will earn and command respect without uttering a sound.

Richy4:
You did what u feel was right @ that moment...

Your sister inlaw was a classy young woman too I must say, she left when she was supposed to..Maybe She never knew her coming will be a problem,maybe she felt her sister will sort u out...But she got it wrong.. Some ladies would have stayed even when they knew they were not welcomed..

If u have a younger bro, or Sis, just expect a cold welcome from your wife anytime they step into your house..it will never be forgotten...

U mistakenly broke an unwritten code that most women held with high esteem especially from the Eastern part of Nigeria....They always want to show that they are comfortable in their husband's house and their relatives are welcome to stay for sometime..I guess that was why she was mad @ u

Just say u were sorry bro.. with a peace offering like earring, or perfume etc.

Plankton2017:
Good day fellow NL,

Please judge this case. Last week thursday my sister inlaw visited me and my wife from NYSC camp. I was shocked when I welcomed her because it was no ordinary visit. she came with a full ghana must go. We greeted and I got to know that she escaped from camp due to the tough tasks on camp. My wife never told me her sister was coming to stay. We have lived amicably till yesterday.

My lil cuzin that stays and helps us with chores was mandated by her to cook 2 big pots of water for her to bath. I scolded my cousin and told her why didnt she use the electric kettle so as to save gas which we just replaced with 6k. I now gave her a warning that whatever my inlaw wants that she should ask me 1st. I even got to know that my wife lied to me that her parents knew she left camp. My wife heard our conversation and started antagonizing me that why did I tell my cuz to always ask me b4 she obeys her sister. she was shouting at the top of her voice even my inlaw could hear. This angered me and I shouted back and told her to leave my room. she continued shouting and even slept in the sitting room as I slept alone.

This afternoon while working on my computer for hours I came out of the room only to find out my sister in law has packed her things back to her NYSC camp without telling me but my wife knows....I am slatted to officially do my white wedding next saturday. I just feel down because we quarell too much and my wife talks in a domineering way. I have warned her about it and I do not want to turn a woman beater. Any quarell we have she tells her parents and siblings which make them never free with me and act cold towards me. Damn it! pls advice me

yomi007k:


So u prefer dey get married n later get a divorce?


I don't concur. If it was me, I wud postpone the wedding.