Hi all, am currently in a dilemma, and I need all advice I can get right now. This is going to be a long read, need to explain the whole story so you guys will understand fully. Please pardon my errors. Thanks.

This is more of a relationship issue, but this section is the gathering of mature unlike the romance section where teens play away their boredom.

So here is my story, 4years ago I meet this young lady,very pretty, smart, extremely nice, good heart, caring to a fault, Shy too. As a "player" that I was, I asked her out, and she gave me a really hard time, she stays with her aunt then, so seeing her was almost impossible, cos of the aunt, started attending her church just to see her, (I hardly attend church), well it took over a year before she said yes,

Well, the relationship proper, I always love the adventures that comes with asking a lady out, and after she says yes, I get bored and set my tentacles somewhere else. But she managed to keep me interested, she was so caring, don't think anyone ever cared for me like she ever did. God, I felt love, but well has an ass I was then I was still keeping other ladies, infact, I couldn't even count the number of side chicks I had, including the older women I was frolicking with for the money. God, my "fine boyism" got into my head, well I had nothing to offer any one. But with all my escapades and misdemeanors this lady stuck by her ever loving self, I couldn't understand why she doesn't get angry at me, all she does is smile and tell me she is praying for me. There was even a time different called her to stay clear of me, she didn't even tell me, got to know later. I was just a broke jobless graduate then, and she supported with the little she had.
Well, the guilt encompassed me, I don't deserve this angel I told myself, she is actually too good for me(I was a big douche bag), so I decided to let her go, so she could find someone worthy of her. I was such a coward to even tell her this, I just disappeared to thin air (stopped picking her calls, relocated, blocked her on all social network).

Yeah, I know I was a fool for letting her go, and I regretted that since. BTW she was a Virgin all through we dated. So early this year I decided to reach out to her, mean while, during the 1.5yr of been incommunicado, have been working hard on myself, started a fresh, stopped drinking and womanizing, got a job, in fact I did overhaul of my past life, to say I don't even have a gf for over a year now is simply a miracle.
So I message her on her bday, she couldn't believe it, she thought I left the country, and she kept asking what she did to deserve my cowardice move. Well I apologized and begged, well it with over 1month of constant calls, she forgave me and said we could be friends. This was good enough for me at the time. And we kinda grew close a bit, she telling me she has change, she gone wild, now a slay queen and what not, well I blamed myself for all that happened to her. She had so many relationships Within that she lost count. Well, she still has her good heart.

2 months ago, she called me crying that she thinks she has a sexual infection, I took her to the hospital, made sure she got a good treatment. So she later said she broke up with the guy who gave her the std. Well good, we were still just friends all this while. 2weeks ago, she said she want to come do a 8 months training at the city I am located, and asked if I could accommodate her for like 2weeks before she get her accommodations sorted out. I replied why not, I thought to myself maybe this is another chance to at least have a go at a relationship with her again.
Has her day of coming drew closer, I was preparing for her coming like the 2nd coming of Christ. She came 3days ago and I was sooo happy to have her around. BTW, it will be the second time of seeing each other since the reunion.

All has been good and perfect till 2days ago, she was showing me pics on her phone and suddenly I saw a guy I know. The guy is the elder brother of my closest friend. This my friend we go way back primary school, stayed in same neighborhood, so she's been my friend since I was like 5,our friendship even made my family and hers like family friends, though am not that close with her brother.
So I was surprised how come she knows him, she just swept off, said the guy is just a causal friend so I was like OK, was still with her phone later in the day when the said guy messaged came in calling her bae. And we kinda had sex a day before this, she asked me if I have a gf and I told her no, and that is true. Though she didn't believe.

So I asked her again if there is anything between her and the guy, but she kept saying no, told her I know him and the younger sis is my best friend, well still kept saying, he is just a friend. I had a feeling she wasn't telling me the truth, so I reached out to my friend, told her I saw her bro pics on someone's phone, though I didn't tell her details but she confirmed she is her bro current gf. Wow, not ex, they are currently dating and funniest this guy stay close to my crib.
So I was kinda pissed, asked her why she didn't tell me she is in a relationship, and the sex, cos having sex with a lady in a relationship is a no no with me now. And the bf is just one random dude, but my best friend elder brother and a family friend. She started crying and was saying she didn't love the guy, and it me she wants. She cried the whole day.

God, I want her too, like she is the only lady for now I can imagine myself marrying. But am very confuse now. Why did she lie? She is in a relationship. Oh I told my friend she came to my house with a friend of hers, cos she told her bf she was staying with a friend,had to lie to my friend which I feel bad about,
My friend called the bro and told him to ask his gf where about, dude started blowing up her phone, so had to lie to cover for her.
Now am at a cross road, she said she wants me, and I want her too, but I don't want to be the reason she breaks up with this bros(he is trouble some). I don't want any trouble, and also my friend will be disappointed I lied to her. So I told her to please go stay at her bf's house since, but all she does is cry. Am really confuse now. Please help!!

Maybe both of you should split for now till you can sort out yourselves.
You really have not made up your mind what you want and she hasn't too.

I wonder what guys really want, you had a girl who was 90% perfect but you still wanted to roll with 'em hoes, just forget about getting her back because no sensible guy will ever let that kind of girl go and you said the guy is troublesome, you just wan break head for nothing.

Forget all those love shii she's telling you, its called infatuation probably due to your previous flame. She won't even remember you when she's in those arms that knows her worth. Next time don't be an azz or u keep losing diamonds while searching for stones

GET A NEW GIRL!!!

Fin

Why is she crying? Did she slice onions?

Anyway, you both need a break to sort yourself..

Mtcheeeeeeeeeew...

you are the cause of all these.
it will be good if you can let her go. i only pity her for her current bf with random attitude(cassanova).
let her go please, she is only shedding crocodile tears

succyblinks:
I wonder what guys really want, you had a girl who was 90% perfect but you still wanted to roll with 'em hoes, just forget about getting her back because no sensible guy will ever let that kind of girl go and you said the guy is troublesome, you just wan break head for nothing.

Forget all those love shii she's telling you, its called infatuation probably due to your previous flame. She won't even remember you when she's in those arms that knows her worth. Next time don't be an azz or u keep losing diamonds while searching for stones

GET A NEW GIRL!!!

Fin

Thanks, i learnt a new quote today you on twitter?

truthsayer009:


Thanks, i learnt a new quote today you on twitter?

no

For her to be able to comfortably have sex with two guys means she's really changed

When you were a player, she was a nice girl.
Now you are the nice guy, she's a slay queen.
What makes you think she's not slaying with you now given that she's changed from what you remembered? You need to distance yourself uncle. Give her some very goooood space. It's certain you want her for the right reasons, but it's not certain she feels same. Free her, allow her to fly, if she's yours, she'll sort things out with the other guy(s) and find her way back to you.

Since she has a boyfriend now, your best bet is to let her go. You know she has cheated on him with you b/c you've slept together and you know her boyfriend is troublesome, so just distance yourself from her before he comes to beat you up, lol. If she wants to be with you, then she will do the rest right thing and end her r/ship with him.

An ex player,cheating girl and a troublesome boyfriend! What a family reunion!

succyblinks:
I wonder what guys really want, you had a girl who was 90% perfect but you still wanted to roll with 'em hoes, just forget about getting her back because no sensible guy will ever let that kind of girl go and you said the guy is troublesome, you just wan break head for nothing.

Forget all those love shii she's telling you, its called infatuation probably due to your previous flame. She won't even remember you when she's in those arms that knows her worth. Next time don't be an azz or u keep losing diamonds while searching for stones

GET A NEW GIRL!!!

Fin

I agree ma'am, I was an as.s then, But trust me, Am a changed person. We've all made mistakes you know

TR1212:
When you were a player, she was a nice girl.
Now you are the nice guy, she's a slay queen.
What makes you think she's not slaying with you now given that she's changed from what you remembered? You need to distance yourself uncle. Give her some very goooood space. It's certain you want her for the right reasons, but it's not certain she feels same. Free her, allow her to fly, if she's yours, she'll sort things out with the other guy(s) and find her way back to you.

my story in summary. How do i ask her nicely to leave then??

You have to make her leave, I dont care how you do it. Lock her outside or something. You have to make up a strong act else she would manipulate you.

Im sure you dont want all the drama associated with the "troublesome guy"

If you love her fight for her.. Just know you have lost a friend for a slaying queen.. Who is still adventurous

johnsonpal:
my story in summary. How do i ask her nicely to leave then??

There are no short cuts here, uncle and no secret too, so you need not fret over how to tell her. Whatever is going on, she already knows and even caused. Just tell her your true intentions and that in light of all whats happening, you think it's best she takes time away to figure out what she wants.

But remember, the babe is no longer what who you remember her to be. You really really need to see some changes before you believe her. If she comes back tomorrow and says she's left the other guy and now wants you alone, take it with a pinch of salt. She's been lying to you from the beginning about her boyfriend, I dont know what makes you think she's not lying about her feelings for you now, or that she won't lie again in future on such serious things.

All the best brother, I hope you've learnt your lessons to value what you have.

End the relationship, the foundation is not strong

TR1212:


There are no short cuts here, uncle and no secret too, so you need not fret over how to tell her. Whatever is going on, she already knows and even caused. Just tell her your true intentions and that in light of all whats happening, you think it's best she takes time away to figure out what she wants.

But remember, the babe is no longer what who you remember her to be. You really really need to see some changes before you believe her. If she comes back tomorrow and says she's left the other guy and now wants you alone, take it with a pinch of salt. She's been lying to you from the beginning about her boyfriend, I dont know what makes you think she's not lying about her feelings for you now, or that she won't lie again in future on such serious things.

All the best brother, I hope you've left your lessons to value what you have.

Thanks Brother for this advice, I will adhere. God bless

fatymore:
If you love her fight for her.. Just know you have lost a friend for a slaying queen.. Who is still adventurous

Exactly my fear, albeit the sad truth.

You're in love with the idea of her that you used to know. She's not the same person now.

johnsonpal:
Thanks Brother for this advice, I will adhere. God bless

brother ke??

TR1212:


brother ke??

Anything wrong with that? bro in short then

johnsonpal:
Anything wrong with that? bro in short then

Lol... Abeg, I'm a sister Biko.

.

TR1212:


Lol... Abeg, I'm a sister Biko.

oh pardon me, your gender is missing from you profile. You should add that to avoid future mix-up

Is it possible for you to tell her to give u some time to think about all these... She got some issues at the moment and she was about to make u the center of that issue... let her sort herself out first then you can define the relationship..

I always admire gentle men that uses "hail Mary pass" to get a woman.. it is too funny to me..anyways that's by the way

Richy4:
Is it possible for you to tell her to give u some time to think about all these... She got some issues at the moment and she was about to make u the center of that issue... let her sort herself out first then you can define the relationship..

I always admire gentle men that uses "hail Mary pass" to get a woman.. it is too funny to me..anyways that's by the way

I don't understand what you mean by this?

johnsonpal:
I don't understand what you mean by this?

That's a desperate measure to get what u wanted..Eg U wanted her affection, u start attending her church..That was a hail mary pass.