The menace of Domestic violence in Nigeria and it’s implications on the families of the victims.

Late Engr Sylvia

Unfortunately for Sylvia or Chinyere as she was fondly called by family and close friends, she did not live to tell her own story. She was cut down in her prime by the man she loved till death did them part Obinna Akaleme, her husband. She died on the day she was due to give birth after series of miscarriages in her husband’s house.

A brief biography of the victim

Chinyere Sylvia Akaleme (nee Igbo) was born on 27 april 1981 into the family of Mr and Mrs Reginald Chiaka Igbo. The second child and 1st daughter of the family with six other siblings, Sylvia was raised in a middle-class Catholic family residing in Ajao estate, lagos where she had her nursery, primary and secondary education. She was a very bright pupil and her position in class never went below the top three. She gained admission into the university of Ilorin in Kwara state where she read electrical engineering and graduated with second class honours. She started a career in information technology and quickly got several professional qualifications including sisco into her academic profile. She started her working career with Karox computers before moving on to reliance info systems ltd where she became a product and sales manager

Sylvia at work

Her last job was with the Wini group, an Ikeja based corporation.

In 2012 she met and married Obinna Akaleme a farmer/ chef/ kitchen assistant and thus began her journey to an untimely death in the hands of the man she loved so much and catered for. She died on the on the 29th of march 2017 and she was committed to mother earth at the Ikoyi cemetery on the 19th of july 2017.

Engr sylvia is survived by her aged grandmother, her parents, siblings, uncles, aunties, nephews and nieces. May her gentle soul rest in peace, Amen.

What Happened?

Her parents and siblings never knew Chinyere endured several years of abuse in the hands of the man she called a husband. She assumed the role of a typical Nigerian wife who must always display a non-existent happiness in a marriage filled with sadness and regrets. The only clue about what happened to her during her over five years of marriage was the account of the neighbors who narrated how on a particular night Obinna her husband beat her up and she ran to their landlords house for safety. Also the little girl who lived with her revealed that Chinyere warned her not to tell her parents that her husband used to beat her up even while she was over eight months pregnant.sylvia and a friend at an event

That explained the reason behind the series of miscarriages she had before her last pregnancy which was full term. Her parents got worried that their daughter had about four miscarriages in less than four years decided to take her to come stay with them when she took-in after her eight month old miscarriage. She lived peacefully with her parents and her pregnancy advanced with Chinyere in good health and high spirits anticipating the birth of her child. Unfortunately for her, on her due date, Obinna, her husband came to pick her up from her father’s house at 10 am to the hospital and as a dutiful wife she was, she obeyed him and went with him. According to the doctor, the mother and the baby were confirmed healthy on arrival and Doctor asked her to go get her bag in preparation for delivery that evening. Obinna took Chinyere to their matrimonial home. Sadly for Chinyere, he got into an argument with her over money, beat her up so badly and left her unconscious in the house. He left the house and switched off his phone and her phone so no one could reach them. He left her in the house and every attempt made to reach them was futile. He later returned and took her to the hospital when he discovered she was dying at about 4.30pm and did not deem it fit to contact her parents or siblings, he did this so as not to run the risk of her coming out of coma and telling her family her ordeal at the hands of her husband, it is also worthy to note that the hospital were she died is less than a hundred metres from her parent’s house. Obinna eventually came to her parents house around 8.30pm to tell them she had passed on. Further findings from her siblings and the doctor’s confirmation revealed that Chinyere was brought to the hospital lifeless (practically dead). The doctor decided to do a cesarean session to try and save the baby but it was all in vain

Sylvia’s lying in state


Chinyere’s sad story is one among millions of Nigerian women who fall victim to sexual and emotional predators because they want to be accepted by the society at large . They hide their ordeal from the very people that can rescue them. Their families. Women nowadays​ pretend that they are in happy marriages even when the obvious signs says otherwise. For how long will we keep up with this trend of pretending all is well when it obviously isn’t? Must we live a lie for societal acceptance? Let’s come together and say no to domestic violence and spousal abuse. There are many families like Chinyere’s who wish their children had remained single and lived with them instead of getting married and killed by their partners.

Enough is enough!

I still don't get it with women and domestic violence. When they are young they wanna date bad boys who will beat the crap out of them but when they end up marrying this bad boys, they cry wolf!!

I don't know what will make me beat a woman.... not to talk of during pregnancy.. #some men are just animal

tensazangetsu20:
I still don't get it with women and domestic violence. When they are young they wanna date bad boys who will beat the crap out of them but when they end up marrying this bad boys, they cry wolf!!

How old are you?

crystalzoe:

How old are you?

100

crystalzoe:

How old are you?

Must be 10. Even a 15year old would talk with more sense

Some idiot will come and say women have sharp mouths that she probably disrespected, provoked,insulted her husband. So what? It still does not justify beating. Only a weak man will show his strength on a woman. It takes strength to walk away.
Now that he has killed her, who cared if she was a witch. He should have sent her back to her parents.

Rip to her but it could have been averted.

but sha some of we women will.marry a man whose parents regret having,whose brain nuts loosened a long time ago,those who have no sort of respect for womanhood and expect to change them. God forbid!

After our parents suffer to train us,one will noe end dead or bruised courtesy of a man born by a woman like us.If you see a red flag in courtship especially violence,run away. It is only the one who runs away that'll be alive to tell the story.don't let it end in marriage biko because of what ppl will say.

God forbid stupidity. Stupid women everywhere

The interesting though sad truth is that another woman who is a university graduate will still marry Obinna the chef.

Stupid woman. It's the woman I blame in this case. How many pregnancies were terminated by this monster and you still stayed trying to actively have his child. A jobless, broke guy with low self esteem for that matter.

I also blame her parents for not raising a child that has enough self worth and confidence that she can confide in them, in this kind of hell. It's telling a lot about the parents of the girl if she will rather stay with this monster than the safety of her parents. It's not only about raising a child to know how to read, but all aspects of her life needs careful attention with less judgment.

I hope this monster gets death sentence.

baby124:
Stupid woman. It's the woman I blame in this case. How many pregnancies were terminated by this monster and you still stayed trying to actively have his child. A jobless, broke guy with low self esteem for that matter.

I also blame her parents for not raising a child that has enough self worth and confidence that she can confide in them, in this kind of hell. It's telling a lot about the parents of the girl if she will rather stay with this monster than the safety of her parents. It's not only about raising a child to know how to read, but all aspects of her life needs careful attention with less judgment.

I hope this monster gets death sentence.

Would not blame the parents though.

Their willingness to house her when she had multiple miscarriages shows that they wouldn't have condoled her staying with her abusive husband.

Poor parents.

It must have been the woman's destiny.

bukatyne:


Would not blame the parents though.

Their willingness to house her when she had multiple miscarriages shows that they wouldn't have condoled her staying with her abusive husband.

Poor parents.

It must have been the woman's destiny.

They only took her in so that the pregnancy will stay this time. Probably thinking that they know better than a younger couple how to make babies come to life. That a child can't confide in the parents in such a bad situation is very very telling on the parents. This is not an illiterate person. A well educated and intelligent lady. Something is not right there.

I read from a blog that the man is walking around freely.
Maybe the parents are not serious enough to press charges.
If they don't value their child enough to spend their last kobo making sure this man rots in kirikiri,who am I to cry more than the bereaved.