My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years - Family (5) - Nairaland
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| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Bigstan88i(m): 9:40am On Sep 02, 2017 |
Well.. africaish is disturbing yo.. here are just few things I gotta breakdown to your understanding.. 1.. were you as a unique being/person there/able to influence your momma's decision marrying ya Popman..? and dou she's coping with everything as her cross including you/Popman/general lifestyle as part of her marital experience. I think since your not able to influence her decision as at d tyme of marrying Popman nor were you consulted, as dou it can't happen because yo weren't born by then.. I see no reason why you should let anybody dictates for you completely (100%). though if she's possessed enuf to see evil in the union with your choice woman.. I think she better open up.. and if she's doing so for her selfish interest... you better grow up. :- She's causing you duress under law if it existed upon mother-child relationship.. That's what happens when you failed to put em where they belong.. #stopbinmomspet. .My friends mom too threatened to boycott him till eternity too but he was happy to denounce her in court and left his 5years old Gf he intend to marry as well.. relocated abroad and married a white woman.. he gave us all our limit to his private life since then except that he furnishes well his Popman.. (mama swear for him sha but I don't think such works abroad unless you are not serious over there.) I think culture of giving them first class priority in our lives here has caused us more hardship.. Read and digest only.. sleep and think deeply.. then decide what's best for you.. You can eat your cake and have it ooh. |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Nobody: 9:41am On Sep 02, 2017 |
prof22: True, a factory reset will work, but does he sound like one that knows how to do it? A factory reset will work 100% but it can only be down by a Christian of high stature, many men fall short of this level unfortunately |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Nobody: 9:43am On Sep 02, 2017 |
So for 9 years that he has been getting entangled with her both body and soul ,why didn't she grind his destiny?, it amazes me how people reason, especially all this so called religious people, mteeeeeeew. Op ,if your mum can't give you a cogent reason, then she has no reason at all. The my spirit does not agree with her is no reason, you can't like everyone, that is why not everyone can be called friends,this you need to know. That her spirit deosnt agree with her is just natural, can we just stop assigning spirituality to everything please. Even marriages that the MIL's spirit agreed with the bride to be still failed. Infact the spirit of everyone in the family agreed with the marriage but it still failed. So op, your mother has lived her life ,live yours, make your choice and what ever comes out of it, it will be your cross to bear . I am suspecting your mum has someone in mind for you that's why she is acting this way.leave your fiancee and see her rush to suggest her friend's daughter for you. But you self, how can you date a lady without Your parents meeting her once, not even on Christmas day, na Wah o Opakan2: 3 Likes |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Nobody: 9:44am On Sep 02, 2017 |
Raptor15: As a minister, he can go ahead without the mother, there are provisions before God for such marriages to hold and yes, he'll by-pass the mother and get his blessings..Confirm...I know the know-how of this... Secondly, what if the mother isn't alive? That is how many mothers end up roasted by Holy Ghost fire, they do things to people's daughters they can never accept...Whatever becomes of this girl, may the same fate fall upon all her daughters and grand daughters 1 Like |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Nobody: 9:44am On Sep 02, 2017 |
Passy089: |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Welcomme: 9:44am On Sep 02, 2017 |
Your mother is a witch..Ignore her! 1 Like |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by refreshrate: 9:44am On Sep 02, 2017 |
Passy089: Dude you know how you just see some people & for no reason don't like them? I've experienced this so many times but guess what? fate made me have to spend time with one of such people over time by making him a class mate in school...turned out to be an awesome chap! Your mum saying her spirit doesn't agree with her is something like this. However, I'm sorry to say she's not being very wise in her dealing with the issue. Case in point two other people's lives are involved...totally different from dealing with an absolute stranger. 9 years is too much for you to even be considering anything let alone allowing it be an issue here. If that girl doesn't curse you...curse yourself! I'll even help you. This poor child has done nothing to deserve your mums spirit not accepting her. I'd strongly advise you know what you're doing. At your age parents should guide you not decide. Is your mummy going to be the one living with you in the marriage? You need to man up o. Stop acting like that boy in game of thrones sucking his mumsis breast like aren't you fully developed yet? After finishing school? Ah! Nigerians know how to use the parent thing to blackmail children well I don't know what you worship but even the Bible (& common sense) makes mention of leaving the family and two becoming one. I'd hate to say this but its absolutely obvious you're not yet matured enough for the concept of being married. For your own good I just hope you haven't told the girl what your mum & her spirit are doing to mess you up 2 Likes |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Nobody: 9:45am On Sep 02, 2017 |
OP Ask your mom these question when she is in a happy mood, the first 2 questions is to set the stage with primary right-brain questions while the others will throw her off-balance to right-brain reasoning. Eventually, what you are doing is resetting her reasoning. It is reverse psychology. 1. Where was I, before I was born ? 2. Where will I go after I am dead ? 3. Why did my Dad love you so much and get married to you ? 4. Do you think my Dad would have been happier with a different woman ? 5. What would my Dad have done, if his mother stopped him from marrying you ? Be careful to control the space, cos she might descend to tantrums, so make sure she is in good mood and tell her you have 5 questions on life and you believe as your mother, she is the best teacher in life for you. 2 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Monaco2(m): 9:45am On Sep 02, 2017 |
Passy089: Y would you date a girl for dat long n not take her to ur family since..... Nawa...d geh sef her own Dey her body... Almost 10 years n she is just meeting ur family |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Nobody: 9:45am On Sep 02, 2017 |
You cause all this, you should have made things clear to your mum, I remember telling my mum I can marry from any tribe  she was just looking at me telling me na me sabi.. I was still young then, moreover she knows I'm the type that doesn't agree to everything she says. 9years is not a joke, no girl can pretend for that long, she know her more than your mum, you know what you want. Forget about the mother blessing thing, after all those who have failed marriage received blessings from their parent and the marriage still fail. Leaving her now after 9years just because mum doesn't approve it will be a bad idea. Try talk to her about this, meet dad and explain things to him and let him talk to her. Hopefully things will change. |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by chloride6: 9:46am On Sep 02, 2017 |
How person mama wan take tell person say she Sabi the girl for meeting? I no talk anything ooh Dude, just asking what's your mum's maximum level of education. And where are you from? 1 Like |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Nobody: 9:46am On Sep 02, 2017 |
Passy089:1.Marriage is 4eva,u make mistake choosing,u suffer 4eva.2.Only ur dad hav d right to reject ur fiance NOT ur mum.. |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Afhounja(m): 9:48am On Sep 02, 2017 |
supersystemsng: Why are you trying to shame a man into a lifetime of unfair servitude? If you know women, you will know that they can pretend for as long as they want. It is VERY likely that once the OP's fiance gets married to him and gets comfortable (especially after giving birth), she is going to start showing her TRUE colours. Dear OP, please trust your guts. |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by iyaegin: 9:50am On Sep 02, 2017 |
For Me i am only wondering why for 9 years your girlfriend ( she is not your Fiancee abeg) did not meet your parents and then suddenly you expect out of the blues all will be automatically perfect. There is more you are not telling so in the meantime i would suggest you see how to bring your girlfriend deeper into the family more and then from there you will know your final fate. Have you met her own parents and what was their feedback too. |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by MrDoGood(m): 9:50am On Sep 02, 2017 |
Passy089:My brother.... Mothers are like that. They're always jealous that another woman is going to occupy their space.. You've been too close by your mom. I'm not saying it's bad, but she still sees you as a kid. One thing is certain, your happiness and never you trade that for anything. Your mom has lived and enjoyed her marriage, go and do same with yours. She will depart some day and you're gonna be left alone....... The only replacement for her will be your wife. And a woman you're not happy with can never occupy that space. Good luck with your choice man 1 Like |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Efewestern: 9:50am On Sep 02, 2017 |
livinbygrace: Thanks for this advice. A man should always be a man, not every time you bend to your moms pressure. You are still young, you can still get a good girl, just be prayerful. |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Keneokoli2015: 9:50am On Sep 02, 2017 |
The same happen to me, my brother first go n pray , they will call u by demself |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Nobody: 9:50am On Sep 02, 2017 |
Afhounja: May the same be done to your daughter and your sisters 1 Like |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by BabbanBura(m): 9:51am On Sep 02, 2017 |
Lewaluv: as if you will ignore your mother should you be in a similar shoe! |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by donspero(m): 9:52am On Sep 02, 2017 |
Passy089: OP i wouldn't say you don't love her, i can't tell what kinda relationship una been dey for the pass 9yrs dat didn't allow you to take her home in the first place, but hear dis my small advice, from all indication or else your not telling us something na only and i "only" your mama wey no gri your papa approved of this lady. firstly all this tell her pastor tell her priest na gud advice , but the only person she really needs approval from na her own husband, so talk 2 your dad. and if and again i "if" she didn't give you guys a "tangible" reason, then i thick the only question remaining is left for you, which is "Do i love this lady? those she make me happy? is she going to make me a btr person? how far has us being 2gther for 9yrs helped me grow?" see i have a frnd dat married the wrong lady because of his "mum" she also used her so called spirit, so as yawa gas, NB dis yawa made headlines on our national dailys, the mum final excuse was she didn't "like the gals pple (her son's ex) this was after her son almost lost his life to this said lady his "mum" picked for him. Our parents yes are our firstly guardian's but i don't know if your a Christian, but in my own bible, it said "A man must leave his parent house so shall the woman do they can be one" so bible nvr told you marriage would involve your parents but the 2 of you. please stop lying to yourself if you don't love this gal tell her the truth not hide behind your mum inspite of loving our mum, we are only after our happiness and wat would make us make heaven, evn in heavrn the bible said you're on your own. so man up and make a decision that favours you and makes you happy. NB note all the quoted i used they are the many points 4 my advice 2 Likes |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by prof22(m): 9:53am On Sep 02, 2017 |
He created D's problem by himself. Why should u date a lady for that long without bringing her home. What was he thinking ? Relationship is too sensitive than to be hidden. He should pray to God about it. Here is the thing. Your mum is at least old ...you have more years to spend with your wife than your mom, if you allow her make d wrong decision for you, anything can happen, if(God forbid ..your mum dies in 2-5 years time) then you will suffer the aftermath of her decision for life. Irrespective of how you love your mom you can't make love to her and she can't give you children. At d same time, you have to find a way of making them friends. Of course you don't expect her to just meet her first time and smile...keep working on your mom. Pray and fast and talk to God. I wish you d best. quote author=starstunna1313 post=60055282] Bro you are on point.. I believe in that 9 years she has seen ur worst and best behaviors, your hard and good times and she never gave up on you. Why give up on her now. Besides if you could stay with her that long am sure you can stay with her married. Your spouse is for life partner not your mother's [/quote] |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by prof22(m): 9:53am On Sep 02, 2017 |
He created D's problem by himself. Why should u date a lady for that long without bringing her home. What was he thinking ? Relationship is too sensitive than to be hidden. He should pray to God about it. Here is the thing. Your mum is at least old ...you have more years to spend with your wife than your mom, if you allow her make d wrong decision for you, anything can happen, if(God forbid ..your mum dies in 2-5 years time) then you will suffer the aftermath of her decision for life. Irrespective of how you love your mom you can't make love to her and she can't give you children. At d same time, you have to find a way of making them friends. Of course you don't expect her to just meet her first time and smile...keep working on your mom. Pray and fast and talk to God. I wish you d best. starstunna1313: |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by vivie01(f): 9:53am On Sep 02, 2017 |
supersystemsng: Yes, you are right. He's the architect of his problem but he cant continue to live in his mistakes forever. What happened has happened, the next thing is solution, both of them are not growing younger by the day, if he needs to let go now its still better than to stick his head in what will forever cause him pain. The girl self no try, I cant imagine someone dating me and giving me silly excuse of 'we dont bring fiancee to our home' and I'll just accept it like that and hoping to get married to such guy without its ripple effect. She took a gambling for 9 years and its coming out bad for her. She should just see it as one of those things and move on with life, afterall, marriages invested seriously on do break up. 1 Like |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by delishpot: 9:54am On Sep 02, 2017 |
Passy089: You date for 9 years and she no see ya mama? 9 solid years and you did not take her to your mom so that the woman will know your future wife. Na wa. Give your mom some time hopefully she will get to welcome your babe. |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Lewaluv(f): 9:55am On Sep 02, 2017 |
 Raptor15:
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| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Nobody: 9:57am On Sep 02, 2017 |
Lol... Your mum has been eyeing her friend's daughter for you since...a girl she knows nothing about, maybe she is even Aristo...so far she is her friend's daughter she should be good emough for you. Take your time guy, dont raise your girl issue with her in the mean time... she will soon bring out her own card where her spirit stand. Women can be selfish, irrespective of the age. After living your dads life for him, she still wants to live your life for you too... Dont confront her, just deal with her with wisdom and patience 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by CDCEO001: 9:57am On Sep 02, 2017 |
Is there any reason why you date someone for 9yrs and your parents didn't know her before when you introduced her to them. I mean, for the whole 9yrs your parents should seen her around. Or do you both live in far away place from where your parents live? I've been in a relationship with someone that visits my mom even when am not in town, they even built relationship. Well, try to convince her and let her know that if she doesn't give you a good reason not to marry the girl, that you'll go ahead and marry her, in a respective way. |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by refreshrate: 9:58am On Sep 02, 2017 |
Billyonaire: Hmm You've not really dealt with women before. You want to use logic? Try these steps good mood or not and you'll automatically give her all the power over you! She'll immediately see that you're grabbing for straws confirming that (in her eyes that is) that you have no valid reasons to be with the girl. She won't throw tantrums rather would now switch to emotional blackmail. Don't even allow both of yourselves get to that point...you'll never win...at least not with the way OP is thinking right now. There's a reason God put men over women, don't dull yourself. Stay woke |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Nobody: 9:58am On Sep 02, 2017 |
vivie01: Let's break things down a little further..I'm sure she wasn't reading newspapers for the entire duration to him, and he must have been getting wifey treatment...Now does this already not equate marriage?Marriage is the bonding process, the ceremony seals it up...I keep telling my brothers they don't listen, both of them have been married for at least 5 years but didn't do the ceremony, simple ! So what's the fear, weak guy, yeye mama, naive girl...yeye everywhere..selfish family...We know them, they want the best for their kids even if it involves killing other people's children in the process.. 2 Likes |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by mamachizzy(f): 9:59am On Sep 02, 2017 |
How could u have dated somebody for nine good years and u never took her home to meet ur mom? that doesn't sound right at all. That aside, u ain't gonna marry ur mama are u? U know what u want, go for it. obviously ur gal is loyal. trust me its hard to meet loyal people these days. since u got ur fathers blessings, wife her. |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Nobody: 9:59am On Sep 02, 2017 |
refreshrate: Continue cheer-leading rubbish... is the case not the same where the boy's father should have the say over the son's marriage..? |
| Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by JeffreyJamez(m): 10:00am On Sep 02, 2017 |
You're not going to get married to your mother. It's not as if she has any tangible reason sef. |
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