Many of us may find some of them funny tho...

As a pastor, over the years I had my fair share of people approach me to find out if we were a "courtship" church or a "dating" church. The people invariably would tell me that their approach was "the biblical way." I eventually become leery of such claims given that the Bible does not say much about how to find a wife, or does it? Perhaps you've seen this list floating around the world-wide-web, but it's worth reviewing because it makes a very important point. So here it is, 16 ways to find a wife according to the Bible:

1) Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she’s yours. (Deut. 21:11-13)

2) “Lay hold on” a virgin who is not betrothed to another man, and "know" her, but afterwards pay her father a sum of money. Then she’s yours. (Deut. 22:28-29)

3) Find a prostitute and marry her. (Hosea 1:1-3)

4) Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock.--Moses (Ex. 2:16-21)

5) Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal.--Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)

6) Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife.--Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)

7) Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you a rib.--Adam (Gen. 2:19-24)

Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman’s hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That’s right. Fourteen years of toil for a wife.--Jacob (Gen. 29:15-30)

9) Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law’s enemies and get his daughter for a wife.--David (1 Sam. 18:27)

10) Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you’ll definitely find someone.--Cain (Gen. 4:16-17)

11) Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest.--Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)

12) When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, “I have seen a woman; now get her for me.” If your parents question your decision, simply say, “Get her for me. She’s the one for me.”--Samson (Judges 14:1-3)

13) Kill any husband and take HIS wife. (Prepare to lose four sons though.)--David (2 Sam. 11)

14) Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It’s not just a good idea, it’s the law!)--Onan and Boaz (Deut. or Lev., example in Ruth)

15) Don’t be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity.--Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)

16) A wife?--Paul (1st Corinthians, chapter 7)
Obviously, this list was written with humor in mind, and some of these "ways," are not prescriptive but descriptive of the sinful ways that God's people have conducted themselves in the past--they are in no way exemplary. But this does demonstrate an important point--people often want the Bible to say certain things, such as how to find a spouse and marry, but they ignore portions of Scripture that don't fit their paradigm. The Bible has more to say about arranged marriages, for example, than it does "courtship" or dating. So then, how do we proceed?

We have to realize that the Bible does not speak to every issue we will face in life. Just ask Solomon, who had to use wisdom when the two prostitutes came to him claiming to both be the mother of one child. We must follow those things that God has given us. In all of our relationships we have the obligation to exercise the fruit of the Spirit and not mistreat anyone, that is especially true for a prospective spouse. We also have the clear biblical command that a Christian is free to marry whomever he or she chooses, so long as the prospective mate is "in the Lord" (1 Cor. 7.39). But in the end, choosing a spouse calls for wisdom

Source

Number two is Lit...

Awesome, have got to share this.

Tosinex:
Awesome, have got to share this.

Lalasticlala hasn't seen this yet, else he would have done something about that.

nn

simple thing...

Marry Your Friend


that number one tho...
And did that 3 mean bible recommended Olosho

chai

No 10 and 12 is still OK. That number 1 though

Really?

For some strange reason I do not find this funny

Hilarious, but full of wisdom

Modified: Those quoting me obviously are very shallow and carnal. They are the sort who never introspect before commenting

I will go for number 7.
A rib is not too much of sacrifice.
I will just get me some ak47 in case the serpent decide to come with another apple.

Oboy number 3 en ??

18. Find a mad woman give her belle and marry her

That Option 12 dey somehow. Its like ordering from Jumia.
Just "login" to a village wedding and "pre-order" your wife then later send your people to pick it up.
If you are not fast enough, pesin fit just "cancel" your order and you've gotta start again. In some cases, the offer is not in the market.

Women have suffered.

Lol! Sacarstic post.

O.Y.O

Follow the bible at your own risk. A book written by men for their selfish gain and control of the gullible.

Ishilove:
Hilarious, but full of wisdom

Which wisdom Madam? This is blasphemy!

How about choosing a husband?

This life is warped sha

For now am busy helping my friend find a wife.... When am ready he will do same

No man has authority to join any two people together. Find a wife, and by the laws of the land, marry. Period.

@ number 2--- does that mean the Bible encourages premarital sex?

No 13 is crazy

Interesting

lionness:
The Bible is Defunct...The only thing it preaches that is Eternal is Faith...Faith is timeless...but everything else in it, follow at your own peril.
Now, back to the issue of taking a wife: use your brain...and your heart...if you like, follow the Bible...take a prostitute, or go and serve some Baba Olowo for 7 years, and another 7 years, and waste 14 years of your life trying to get some rich man's daughter...the bible tells stories of brave old dead prophets, we are not in their time...this is 2017, not 100 BC or 100 AD...even if Jesus Christ was to come back, his preaching and teachings will be entirely different from those in the Bible, and these current flocks of pastors will be the same people to kill him.

Ayam tired of you Nairalanders

NothingDoMe:
Which wisdom Madam? This is blasphemy!

how is it blasphemy?




lalasticlala do you agree?

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