In most cases, the marriage satisfies your dad, mom, sister, brother, first cousin, second cousin, grand father, grand mother, long lost uncle, his dog, pesky aunt, her husband, her mother, her mother in law, your neighbors, their parents, their children and a thousand others who attend the wedding. You know whose name is missing in the long list? Yours. That’s a flaw that is bigger than 1000 Jupiters put together.

Breakups or failed relationships are reminders that you're better off without a certain person than with him/her. Otherwise a break up wouldn't have occurred in the first place. There is no such thing in an arranged marriage. No second chances to find the right partner. Being single is better than ending up with a wrong person.

share your opinions

interesting topic
lalasticlala mynd44

IamKashyBaby:



NO TO ARRANGED MARRIAGE.

In some other part of the world, this is very common tho and #1 is India...they only marry with the same caste and what their parents chose them to marry ..

I got a friend they been together for 8yrs and the father of that Indian guy was very upset after he discovered that his son is having a foreign gf..When he went back to India for holiday, in less than a wk he was forced by his father to marry a 16yr old girl and he is already 38, imagine that...

Yess oo..
you're right on this...Indians and our Hausa Brothers

but really is there anything wrong in arranged marriage


my ancestors practised it Nd their Marriage Lasted. in this era where everyone keep picking their spouse divorce keeps increasing

IamKashyBaby:



NO TO ARRANGED MARRIAGE.

In some other part of the world, this is very common tho and #1 is India...they only marry with the same caste and what their parents chose them to marry ..

I got a friend they been together for 8yrs and the father of that Indian guy was very upset after he discovered that his son is having a foreign gf..When he went back to India for holiday, in less than a wk he was forced by his father to marry a 16yr old girl and he is already 38, imagine that...

This very point account for the high prevalence of birth defects and congenital abnomalities in India.

This is chiefly due to the weird scenorio of parents giving their young daughters into marriage with a close relative thereby leading to mutagenic deficiencies and null formation of some body parts due to pseudo recognition during conception,formation and child birth..i have few Indian friends and their stories are overwhelming..

Evaberry:
but really is there anything wrong in arranged marriage


my ancestors practised it Nd their Marriage Lasted. in this era where everyone keep picking their spouse divorce keeps increasing

Arranged marriages come with a certain consciousness that you're going in for life. No bailing out. So you both had to make sure it worked. When something goes wrong you both fix it. Not throw it away.

This generation is a "throw-away" generation. Any and everything that shows the slightest sign of weakness is headed for the trash can, ala old people; kids with defect; disabled people; mentally ill people.

But the world we live in now is one where the cost of fixing something is higher than that of getting a new one. I believe you can relate if you ever tried to fix your broken android phone. Or even a TV set.

But the irony is that the cost of throwing away a marriage is often higher than the cost of fixing it or of getting a new one. But people are willing to pay the price to throw it away anyway.

In sum, entering a marriage with the mindset of "throw it away if its defective" almost guarantees that you'll end up throwing it away.


So when you see me carry slippers go give shoemaker, my sister, don't be quick to think that poverty has visited me.

TheLordIsGr8:


Arranged marriages come with a certain consciousness that you're going in for life. No bailing out. So you both had to make sure it worked. When something goes wrong you both fix it. Not throw it away.

This generation is a "throw-away" generation. Any and everything that shows the slightest sign of weakness is headed for the trash can, ala old people; kids with defect; disabled people; mentally ill people.

But the world we live in now is one where the cost of fixing something is higher than that of getting a new one. I believe you can relate if you ever tried to fix your broken android phone. Or even a TV set.

But the irony is that the cost of throwing away a marriage is often higher than the cost of fixing it or of getting a new one. But people are willing to pay the price to throw it away anyway.

In sum, entering a marriage with the mindset of "throw it away if its defective" almost guarantees that you'll end up throwing it away.


So when you see me carry slippers go give shoemaker, my sister, don't be quick to think that poverty has visited me.

Good sentiment but i guess you've heard it said that "when the purpose of an object is not known, the abuse of that thing becomes very possible"!

The whole idea of 2, 3, 4 or more semi-expired individuals, joining hands to force their wills on erasing the the free choice and thoughts of 2 younger people, on a critical issue like a lifelong marital journey and partnership is just to weirdly presumptuous to be reasonable on any ground, regardless who or what practiced it before!

It so, smirks every which way of playing God on every ground, that it's nothing short of crazy most times. I can't deny the fact that it produced formidable fortitude, depth of character, altruism and a much stronger, more collected perspective of looking at the world and life in general, in our forebears but the present reality is that our generation is no longer suitable for that.

We've realized the power of our options, choices and freedoms in this generation. Even we are being so assaulted by the sheer numbers of the myriad directions available to us that we have no time for being introspective on the deeper meaning of issues. We're so keyed into the externalities of things. You can't expect people who are still not done with being 'Bi-curious" and "complicated relationships" to keep faithful for life in monogamous unions.

So, entire idea of arranged marriages are not only gonna be Dead -On-Arrival but also criminal to inflict on anyone these days. my opinion though.

IdeyFindWife:
Good sentiment but i guess you've heard it said that "when the purpose of an object is not known, the abuse of that thing becomes very possible"!

I don't exactly get this point.

IdeyFindWife:
The whole idea of 2, 3, 4 or more semi-expired individuals...

Dude you have strong words for the old. We'll see if you think yourself as semi-expired by the time you get old. This is so not okay.

IdeyFindWife:
... joining hands to force their wills on erasing the the free choice and thoughts of 2 younger people, on a critical issue like a lifelong marital journey and partnership is just to weirdly presumptuous to be reasonable on any ground, regardless who or what practiced it before!

You assume that only "old" people arrange marriages. That's not true. Also, love grows. Being in love and staying in love are two different things. Two people might not be in love today, but they may eventually grow into staying in love. There is freedom to not exercise freedom. Some people do choose to have a spouse arranged for them.

IdeyFindWife:
It so, smirks every which way of playing God on every ground

Like how? Apostle Paul says that he that findeth a wife findeth a good thing. So if someone helps someone find a wife, is it still a good thing or not?

IdeyFindWife:
but the present reality is that our generation is no longer suitable for that.

We've realized the power of our options, choices and freedoms in this generation. Even we are being so assaulted by the sheer numbers of the myriad directions available to us that we have no time for being introspective on the deeper meaning of issues. We're so keyed into the externalities of things. You can't expect people who are still not done with being 'Bi-curious" and "complicated relationships" to keep faithful for life in monogamous unions.

Most of the things you think are "options" are simply "distractions" as you rightly observe. If you really think that human nature has changed a bit in 5000 years of recorded history, then you're mistaken. There is no social reason for which our generation is no longer suitable for arranged marriages. None. Promiscuity and getting distracted don't count.
You know that feeling when you walk into a supermarket and you're like "wetin I want buy sef?" Options are good. But too much option and you end up with nothing.
Being faithful in a monogamous union is a win for everybody, except of course those who want to "explore" without consequences.

IdeyFindWife:
So, entire idea of arranged marriages are not only gonna be Dead -On-Arrival but also criminal to inflict on anyone these days.

Criminal? Perhaps you assume that "arranged marriage" is the same as "catch-her-and-send-her-to-his-house-whether-she-likes-it-or-not" marriage. Not true. That is "forced" marriage, not arranged marriage.

Guess what? Arranged marriages still hold among the rich and wealthy who like to sell this idea of "arranged" marriage doesn't respect your choice. Do you seriously think Obama's daughter can bring home an unknown guy and profess love for him while her daddy sits in the corner and cheer her for following her heart; for making her choice? Think again bro.
Even in Nigeria, we know who dey marry who. And you think its not "arranged". I laugh in Chinese. I guess we still have to come to an agreement on the meaning of "arrange".

I think you still buy into this myth of a "soul mate". But surprise! surprise! If that so-called soul mate passes today, the one left alive will find another "soul mate". The point is, our love is not fixed. We can fall in love and stay in love with a lots of different individuals. There are certain traits we all like in another and there is no one person who has a monopoly on what we like. Isn't God wonderful? How would we ever be happy if we had only one "option" and that option becomes unavailable for any reason? God has made it so that we have many of the same, but then, we have to settle for one. The others are there as backup (in case the one becomes unavailable) not for simultaneous use.

IdeyFindWife:
my opinion though.

Same here but I plan on becoming a politician someday.

Could work out or could pack up.