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Are These The Worst Dates You've Ever Heard? - Romance - Nairaland

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Are These The Worst Dates You've Ever Heard? by thinkmoney(m): 9:48pm On Sep 07, 2017
As far as bad dates go what could be worse then throwing your own faeces out of your date's window because it would not flush, and then getting stuck trying to retrieve it?
When a Bristol man posted online just such a horrifying episode it left us wondering how many other dates had gone horribly wrong.
Here are three other epic date fails.
'I got diarrhoea in the middle of the date'
Andy Maunder in Reading described a mortifying encounter on a date when he was 23 years old.
"Driving back after a lovely meal at a Chinese restaurant we pulled into a quiet spot on a country lane in Aldworth," he explained.
"Suddenly I felt my meal drop from stomach to bowel in one lurch. I knew I couldn't hold it. I also couldn't exactly say I needed to find a toilet, so I pretended I'd been bitten on the bottom by a wasp and leapt out of the car, just managing to squat down by the rear bumper.
"As I relieved myself I badly attempted to disguise the sound with sudden coughing bouts.
"I could hear my date asking from inside the car if I was alright whilst I scrabbled about for anything I could find to clean myself up with, all the time providing a running commentary to my date about my 'bite' and insisting she stay in the car as there were more wasps.
"Eventually, satisfied I'd managed to control the situation, I stood up, pulled up my jeans and sat back in the car, immediately realising my nightmare wasn't over and was about to get worse.
"The back of my jeans were covered and the smell was unbearable.
"As I sat in horror my date burst into fits of laughter and jumped out of the car. But her laughter was short lived.
"As she made her way round the back of the car to come to my aid, she stepped right into the middle of it.
"We never saw each other again."
'My date fell down a drain'
Simon Jackson's date fell for him, literally, during their date in Camberley, Surrey.
"I went on a date that went well but finished quite early so I invited her back to mine for a drink," Simon explained.
"As we walked to the front door in the failing light, with me leading the way, I suddenly heard a scream.
"I spun round only to see her confused and frightened face disappearing into the ground.
"She had accidentally stepped on the loose round cover of the drain that was partly buried in the garden of the terraced house I was renting.
"I had spent the previous six months telling myself I needed to fix it, and had been unconsciously stepping around it.
"She was not so well informed or lucky.
"I ran over to the new hole in the ground and peered in. There, standing up to her thighs in filth, was my date, crying.
"Her dress up by her waist, her new shoes ruined and her dignity quite possibly lost forever.
"She still looked pretty I thought, but this probably wasn't the time to say so. She needed a little more than compliments and comedy at this moment.
"It took a good few sloppy, stinking, messy minutes to haul her out, and then two hours for her to bathe, borrow clothes, talk to her mum on the phone, disinfect and recover.
"As finishes to first dates went, this wasn't my finest.
"Having said that, we were together for three very happy years."
'She was staring through the window at us'
"I was on a first date with a girl and my ex saw us," says "Bob", not his real name.
"She then followed us everywhere and was trying her hardest not to be seen. It was horrible.
"We thankfully managed to lose her halfway through the night.
"We finally decided to let our guard down and relax. Finally the date was getting better.
"We decided to go back to her place to continue our evening.
"As we kissed I noticed a face pressed up against the window of the house.
"It was my ex staring in.
"It put the fright up us both."
Re: Are These The Worst Dates You've Ever Heard? by emdeey(m): 9:51pm On Sep 07, 2017
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