[22]

I opened my wallet and gave her ₦500 to go eat rice. "So, you gave me (a stranger) money, but you can't forgive Esau." "He hasn't asked for forgiveness. He can't ask an ordinary citizen like me for forgiveness. His ego won't let him condescend so low, but he doesn't know I'm more exposed, spoilt, and experienced than him despite being older than me."

As we were talking, Esau's new boy whom I have been pleading with for 5 months to tell his Almighty Boss to bring my equipment came to join our discussion.

"Legend, I no sure say my oga get money now. Those musicians that drove the red car did not even pay. Them talk say SARS catch them for road collect all their money."

"How?" I asked. "One talk say in carry lighter for pocket, so when SARS stop them, them find lighter for in pocket and when they queried them, them talk say them go burn fire for bush."

"Hahahahaha — see Chinese lie," I said as I laughed alongside the lady. "Burn fire ke!" "So, that was how they gave all their money to the SARS guys and came to the studio empty handed."

"Those guys are lying," said the lady. "Which one of them was with the lighter?" she asked. "The fair one," replied Esau's boy. "So, that small boy done dey smoke," she rhetorically asked. "That's musicians for you."

"So, how much is he supposed to to pay now before you release him?" Asked the lady. "The money is a small percentage of what he's owning me." "But money is not everything," she said.

"No. Money is most things," I replied. "How will you feel if armed robbers come here and take everything in your shop?" "I'll feel bad, but I will not kill myself. The reason why I relocated to this place was because armed robbers robbed everything in my shop in Rumuokwuta last year. They brought me to square zero, but I didn't kill myself. I'm starting afresh. Life goes on," she said.

"You're right, Madam, but for Mr. Esau, let me pinch him a little to reset his brain to learn to respect other's opinion, time, and energy. What I'm doing to him is not bad, but a lesson."

Another young guy walked into the conversation. "Legend," said Esau's boy, "I know you're not happy and you have truly tried for more than 5 months now since you told me about this. Please, forgive him. I know how patient and kind you are."

"Yes, he's kind," said the lady. "He's the one who gave me this ₦500 I'm holding to go and eat. So, you knew about this since and you didn't tell him to amend his ways," she queried his boy for not advising his boss. "Hmm! Madam," said Esau's boy, "my oga na high class man o! Na only president in fit listen to o!"

"You see," I said while looking at the woman, "Esau is like my personal Buhari," and they laughed. "How do you feel with the way Buhari is treating you?" I asked her. "Mtcheew! That one na human being?" she replied. "We're talking of reasonable human being and not Buhari."

"If you bring Buhari and Esau here, I'll choose Buhari over him," I said. "Every bad things Buhari did, Esau emotionally did it to me twice. He's a slow poison. A heartless and silent snake. No single person I have ever asked about him has said anything good of him. He's your neighbor and when he leaves prison, tell him I said that. I even said worse in front of him, his wife, dad, and cousin."

"Madam, I'll be leaving," I said. "So, what's your name?" she asked. "Don't worry about that, it's not important," I replied, but she insisted.

I walked inside Collins' salon, sat for a while as he barbs and we discussed. Minutes later, I stood and went to the park, then headed home as I wait for a call from police to come pick my equipment and money.

This is why I arrested Esau on the 13th of September, 2017. He's still in police custody. He'll be released the moment he provides everything.


Part two loading...

Guy, u sabi narrate o. I dey lazy for typing. More!

Before part 2, I'll share what I personally learned from this true story.

iLegendd:
Before part 2, I'll share what I personally learned from this true story.

Waiting

Oyindidi:
Waiting

I'll post it soon.

Pauls0n:
Guy, u sabi narrate o. I dey lazy for typing.
More!

More is on the way. That'll be when Esau gets released.

This your tori sweet pass Nunu!

iLegendd:
More is on the way. That'll be when Esau gets released.

legend

Esau just called me now with official police line saying all my equipment are complete now, then he begged for me forget about the money. I'm feeling a little sympathetic.

larabae13:
legend

iLegendd:
Esau just called me now with official police line saying all my equipment are complete now, then he begged for me forget about the money. I'm feeling a little sympathetic.

Baba no send that guy o, he must pay for all the damages he caused you, from stress to humiliation and belittling, etc.So he will learn not to play tricks people again. But if you feel like forgetting the money then go on.

nullboss:
Baba no send that guy o, he must pay for all the damages he caused you, from stress to humiliation and belittling, etc.So he will learn not to play tricks people again. But if you feel like forgetting the money then go on.

That's true. He must pay.

iLegendd:
Esau just called me now with official police line saying all my equipment are complete now, then he begged for me forget about the money. I'm feeling a little sympathetic.

collect the money from that devil

iLegendd:

Part 2

1

Phone rang with a strange number (090660000**) and I hesitated to pick because of some funny stories we do hear about these kinds of numbers.

"Pick," a voice said to me and I picked. "Hello, Legend," says a strange man as I struggled to decipher his voice. Oh! It's Esau calling me with police number.

"Hi," I replied with a deep voice while lying on my bed. "All your equipment are ready," he said. "Oh! That's great," I excitedly replied as I mentally visualized putting them on OLX and JiJi.com the moment I get them.

"Forget about the bars," he said and I started wondering what he meant by bars. "Oh! The money?" I asked. "Yes," he replied. "No. If I tell you how much I spent throughout this one year trying to get my equipment, you won't believe it."

"Why won't I believe it when I wasn't the one who was paying for your transport?" he queried me. "You won't," I replied. "Okay, how much have you spent?" he asked, but I refused to mention an amount because he may not believe it.

"Okay. Send me that your guy's number." "Which guy?" I asked. "Collins' number." "I don't have Collins' number," I replied. "Alright, no problem," he said and painfully ended the call. I think he wants Collins to lend him some money. Collins on the other hand is planning to pay him back in his coin.

As I planned using the money (Esau's money) that'll come out of this case to open a salon for his relative, I called Collins to give me a thorough rundown of much I'll spend. He said...

Typing...

Great one bro, it was nice reading!

legend baba I dey gbadun u

guy Collins don kill u come complete the story na

Nigerian police why? I called one of the officers...

They have released Esau without my consent. Esau is moving freely now. This is the power of bribe. "His dad signed an undertaken," said the officer. My equipment are at the station. "He's hustling for the money," He said.

Police don chop clean mouth!

After next week and if he doesn't bring the money, APC should help me with operation python dance. This is getting funny. Bribe has power sha. I thought by now the current government must've stopped uniform men from backyard business. We're on a long thing.

iLegendd:
Nigerian police why? I called one of the officers...

They have released Esau without my consent. Esau is moving freely now. This is the power of bribe. "His dad signed an undertaken," said the officer. My equipment are at the station. "He's hustling for the money," He said.

Police don chop clean mouth!

After next week and if he doesn't bring the money, APC should help me with operation python dance. This is getting funny. Bribe has power sha. I thought by now the current government must've stopped uniform men from backyard business. We're on a long thing.

Welcome to Nigeria legend

Oyindidi:
Welcome to Nigeria legend

The thing fear me. Money has power. If I pay another money again they'll shout and say jump inside car let's go a bring that lizard back to jail. I give up on police. Esau may end up not paying this money.

[2]


As I was hoping to get a call from Esau's camp, my 4 months old Android phone stopped charging. Though, it charges but instead of adding bars, it drains.

This happened for three days and I was fed up with multiple charger. I do repair phones too. We were the first batch of teenagers who learned how to repair phones without any instructor when Obasanjo made phone available.

I made lots of money those days working mouthpiece and speakers. So, with this 4 months old phone, I decided to go out and work it despite having phone tools at home and can do it myself. No need being Jack of trades when you can pay for it. Money is a slave.

Firstly, it's the end of the month, so I'll go for my fun monthly checkups because health is wealth. I dressed, put 10k in my pocket and headed out. I got to hospital, paid ₦200 to renew my card and after some minutes of waiting, I met with the doctor. He...

Typing...

[3]

He examined my last file and directed me to a cute nurse to do HIV test first. I got to her office like a gentle man and she smiled. "Have a seat, Sir." she said as I sat opposite her while her office table demarcates us.

She took my file and I turned to my left and saw, "Heart to Heart Counseling and Advice." "Who this girl wan counsel. This one wey dey look my lips they smile like say she get something for mind."

As I was talking in my head, she was going through my file, then stopped, picked a medical apparatus from the basket and grabbed my thumb to take some blood.

"Young lady I'm fed up with HIV test. I have being doing it since last year. I know I'm negative so there is no need to worry," I said, but she refused and went ahead to take some blood sample.

As the test was going on, she brought her fat ass back to her chair and started acting professional after teasing me with her steps and catwalk. "Do you know what HIV is all about?" Deep down, I wanted to...

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[4]

Deep down, I wanted to tell her to stop this nonsense questions, but decided to monitor her pupils and see how they will dilate to my mental torture. I intensely fixated my eyes in her left eye.

I was looking straight into her soul just the same way I did to a particular nurse 11 months ago. My phone rang and it was the officer, but I ignored. Maybe he called to tell me Esau has brought the money. We leave in different towns.

As I looked fiercely into her eyes with naughty smiles, she got confused when she was to ask me, "Do you have a girlfriend? Do you use condom? When last did you do it?" but ended up asking me, "Which Church do you attend?" I smiled as I replied.

She stood to check the result, then cat walked back with a smile on her face as she teases her ancestors with her ass. Miss Nurse sat and wrote VRL non reactive, - ve. "It's ₦500," she said.

"500 what? I told you I don't need this test, but you went ahead. Anyways, I'll give you ₦200. This test is supposed to be free." "No, Sir, it's ₦500." As we were...

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[5]

As we were deliberating on the price, a couple walked in with a 14 year old girl. "Nurse, we need to see the doctor," the man said. "What happened?" Miss Nurse asked.

"She was raped," he replied and another lady in the office jumped on the case like House of Reps members jumping fence and said, "Since Buhari took over kidnapping, killing, ritualism, and rape increased. Everything has changed."

"The guy who raped her is supposed to come with you people to test too," the APC analyst said and the nurse laughed and said, "How person wey rape person go gree come here?"

Time was running out, so I dropped ₦500 on her table, picked my file and as I was heading out, she turned and thanked me, then directed me back to meet with the doctor. I sat on the...

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[6]

I sat on the chair as everyone else waiting for the doctor. 5 minutes later, he came out, locked his office, and told us he's rushing for an emergency and will be back in 30 minutes.

"30 minutes ke!" I said in my head, "Instead of telling us the truth that you'll be back in 30 hours or worse, 30 days." Because I hate wasting time, I left the hospital and headed to a phone repair guy.

Looking at the phone repair guy's face, he looked like a weed monster. I explained my problem to him and he asked for ₦2,000. After some talk, he agreed to take ₦1,000.

"Gimme the phone and come back in 10 minutes," Mr Phone said. I dropped the phone with him, then entered a phone shop to buy memory card. "How much is 8GB?" "₦3,000, Sir." he replied. "I'll give you ₦2,000," I said but he refused. Are you on...

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[7]

"Are you on WhatsApp? And if yes, I'll introduce you to a Mini-importation WhatsApp group where you'll import all the cards at a cheaper rate from Alibaba, 1688, Aliexpress and others."

The moment he heard "Aliexpress," he became excited and eager to learn more. "I have been seeing this Aliexpress online, but I thought it was all these yahoo yahoo boys." He asked for my phone to type his number. My main phone is being worked on. When I get it I'll show you some of the things I imported.

As this talk was going on, his younger sister of about 24 years was handling other customers, but was paying attention as she pretends to be a good girl. I know her type. Her real body language says otherwise.

I gave the ₦3,000 to his sister and she handed me the 8GB. I walked back to the phone guy and his boy was toying with my phone. He's such a cute guy and a fashionista. I almost suggested he tries modeling. Way your...

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[8]

"Way your Oga?" I asked. "Him commot, but I don work your phone. It's charging now." "Lemme see." And yes! It was working. I waited for a while for the phone to charge to be 100% sure.

As I was I talking, a man walked in holding two iPhones. The moment I saw the iPhone, I began to miss mine which is at home collecting dust because I couldn't get an original battery after buying ₦4,000 batteries 6 consecutive times and non has ever lasted for more than a day without stopping to power.

As I examined the man with the iPhones, I realized he's an army officer, but on casual. Though, his boot and the head warmer in his back jean pocket gave him away.

"Way your Oga?" Mr. Army asked and as the boy was about answering, he interrupted by saying, "Call him and tell him Commander is here." He did as commanded and the he-goat appeared (I'll reveal why I called him a he-goat). As Mr. Army was...

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[9]

As Mr. Army was explaining his iPhones' power problems, I paid attention and it was the same issue with mine. While discussing, a lady in high spirit and too much make-up barged in and interrupted Mr. Army. She's full of energy.

She stretched her hand to give her phone to the phone repair guy and he jokingly told his boy to take the phone and push her outside.

"So, as I was saying," Mr. Army said, "this phone has power problem." "That's exactly what I'm going through with mine," I added, "and I have spent ₦4,000 six times just to get a good battery, but couldn't find original."

"I'll do it for you. I won't charge ₦4,000, but just ₦3,000." "That'll be great," I replied and requested for my Android phone, paid, and went back to Mr. Memory card to show him pictures of those imported goods and also take his WhatsApp number, so I could add him in our importation group.

I got home and forgot to call Mr. Police Officer. The next day, I tried to take a picture with the phone, but the back camera wasn't coming up. I tried to use the flash light, yet it wasn't coming up. I was angry. To calm my...

Typing...

[10]

To calm my nerves down, I opened YouTube and saw a video of Timaya calling Eedris a dirty looking igbo smoker and decided to watch it. As I was watching, no sound. Ah! Ah! What has these guys done with my phone?

This a new phone and they're the first to open it. I dressed and rushed to his shop by 7:30 AM. I got there, but he hasn't come. A sim registration guy was around playing soccer game on his tablet, so I sat with him as I waited for the weed head phone repair guy.

20 minutes later, he came and I could see he has smoked weed this morning. His eyes were almost closed. The first thing he did was to start praying and dedicating his shop to the hands of God.

The prayer only lasted 50 seconds. I bet he didn't know what to pray about because his brain has moved from his head to his foot. "My phone's back camera and flash light isn't working anymore after the repair yesterday," I complained. He looked...

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[11]

He looked shocked, but I knew the game he and his boy were playing. I knew they have exchanged my camera lens, but I pretended to be a novice in phone repair business.

He opened the phone, changed the camera, and said, "It's a camera problem and it's ₦2,000, but since you're our customer now, I'll give it to you for ₦1,500. This is one of the reasons I don't like repairing this brand of phone. Before you're done repairing something, another one will spoil."

I was pissed with what he said because my phone is the type of phone that doesn't need repair. If anything spoils, you don't need to solder it, but remove and replace with a new component. Everything is detachable and that's exactly how most phones are at the moment.

"Guy, I don't have kobo with me except transportation." He removed the thing I paid ₦1,000 for yesterday and replaced it with the old one. When he was coupling the phone, he intentionally forgot to put it back, but I was vigilant enough to remind him.

He coupled the phone with a another camera lens, which worked, but the resolution wasn't 60% as clear as my original lens. I took a photo with the phone and the image looked as poor as a Sagem camera phone. Give me...

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[12]

"Give me anything you have," he requested. "I don't have anything on me," I said. "Just anything, even if na ₦10 because this is my first work today." I opened my wallet and luckily, I had some coins, so I gave ₦50 since he was bent on "anything."

As I was giving him the token, I didn't know if I should cry, beat him up, arrest him or set him up. As a a child of a good father, I decided not to raise alarm or make trouble and walked away.

While walking downstairs, I saw his boy (who committed all the crime) climbing up on the staircase and I could feel guilty conscience all over him. He couldn't look me in the eye and couldn't talk coherently. He even missed a step. His conscience was judging him. While heading...

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