^^^Hahahahahahahaha

^^^Hahahahahahahaha

abbiiii oooh---- very annoying

I've deleted them, he's on mobile. . .it happens.

shaarraaap dia----

D1KeleVra:

A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap. Santa asks, 'What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas'?

The little girl replies, 'I want a Barbie and G.I. Joe'.

Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says, 'I thought Barbie comes with Ken'.

'No', said the little girl. 'She comes with G.I. Joe, she fakes it with Ken.'

LWkm

IN THE BRIDAL SUIT
.
On their first night to be together, the newly wed couple go to get changed. The new bride comes out of the bathroom all showered and wearing her beautiful robe. The proud husband says, "My dear, we are married now. You can open your robe."
The beautiful young woman opens her robe and he is astonished.
"Oh oh aaaahhh", he exclaims, "My word, you're soooo beautiful."
Puzzled, she asks "My picture?."
He answered, "Yes my dear, so that i can carry your beauty next to my heart forever."
She smiles, opens her robe and he takes the picture. He then proceeds to the bathroom to bath.
He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "Why do you wear a robe? We are married now."
At that, he opens his robe and she exclaims, "oh, oh, oh my, let me get a picture!"
He beams and asks "Why?"
She answered, "So i can get it ENLARGED!!!"

A husband and his wife are on a nudist beach when suddenly a wasp buzzes into the wife's private part. Naturally enough, she panics. The husband is also quite shaken but manages to put a coat on her, pull up his shorts and carries her to the car. Then he makes a mad dash to the doctor

The doctor, after examining her, says that the wasp is too far in to remove with forceps, so he says to the husband that he'll have to try and entice it out by putting honey on his p.enis and withdrawing as soon as he feels the wasp. And so the honey is smeared, but because of his wife's screaming and his frantic dash to the doctor and the general panic, he just can't rise to the occasion.
So the doctor says he'll perform the deed if the husband and wife didn't object.

Naturally, both agreed for fear the wasp will do any damage. The doctor quickly undresses, smears the honey on and instantly gets an erection, at which time he begins to plug the wife.

Only he doesn't stop and withdraw but continues with vigor.

The husband shouts, "What the hell's happening?"    

To which the doctor replies, "Change of plan. I'm going to drown the little bastaard!"

lol funny ,







fununyyyyyyyyyyyy

nyfun>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

hahahahahaha, I like it

Right-handed people lives on average nine times longer than left-handed people

Some lions mate over 50 times a day

The strongest muscle in d body is d tongue
women blink twice as much as men

you can't sneeze with your eyes open
you can't kill yourself by holding your breadth

the average human eats eight spiders in their lifetime at night

the electric chair was invented by a dentist

I guess d spider thing . , is actually 4rm ur personal experience.

eldav:

I guess d spider thing . , is actually 4rm your personal experience.

personal experience? Most people slept sometimes with their mouth wide open without knowing it. So what stops d spider from blindly crawling in? :O
Can you swear you haven't Now you smiled

Besides these are known facts.

eldav:

I guess d spider thing . , is actually 4rm your personal experience.

personal experience? Most people slept sometimes with their mouth wide open without knowing it. So what stops d spider from blindly crawling in? :O
Can you swear you haven't Now you smiled

Besides these are known facts.

@chykason,the left handed bluff!bloody lie.don't u know that methusela was a left handed man!!

^^^lol. . .in your bible

well i said on average. . .these are known facts

More coming. . .

You're more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than a poisonous spider

no word in the English Language rhymes with month

Nutmegs are extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.

More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes

The name of all the continents ends with the same letter they started with.

A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes

On average, people fear spiders than they do death

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out!

cool jokes

some recycled but otherwise - very decent jokes

and u caught me out on 1 or 2 of them!

Nice 1 @poster - keem 'em coming pls

nice collection!

A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death

A snail can sleep for 3 years

All polar beers are left-handed.

An Ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain

Butterflies taste with their feet

China has more English speakers than the US

Humans and dolphins are d only species that have sex for pleasure

February 1865 is d only month in recorded history not to have a full moon

where is studio

^^market tight 2day. .crusade ppl are still buyin his suya. .

^^ Lol!!

Loving your jokes and personality

Me likey!!

It's funny if u know how to laff easily not 4 does Idiagbon's children! Nice tho!

Efemena_xy:

^^ Lol!!

Loving your jokes and personality

Me likey!!

i'm plastered flattered!

Welldan bro. Thank God am right-handed.

3 people were on a plane with pilot. One said to the pilot, "I have a glass bottle, what do i do with it?" The pilot told him to throw it out of the window. The second one asked d same question and the pilot told him to throw it outta d window.
The third one asked d pilot, "I have a bomb, what do I do with it?" The pilot told him to throw it outta d window.
When they landed, they net a man crying. When asked why he was crying, he replied, "Because I got hit in d head with a glass bottle". They met a woman crying for d same reason. Then, they met a man laughing. They asked him why he was laughing and he replied, "Because I walked by a building and farted, the building blew up!".