They all had dreams of the stereo-typed relationships – meet a prospective partner, get married, have desired children and live happily ever-after. But realityis far from all that. When I got married,’ said Lisa, a medical doctor, “I did because I was pregnant. Both of us were in medical school and my family wouldn’t approve of me getting married out of wedlock.love“Marriage is for life,” preached my prim mother, “and no childhas a right to be born a bastard if both parents could help it.”“So we got married and married life was not what I expected it to be. My new husband was always studying and it was soon obvious we got married out of necessity than love. We eventually qualifiedand went on to have two more children.I was lucky to have a cossy apartment that went with my job whilst my husband stayed on at the teachinghospital. Marriage was dull. I was in my 30sand not preparedto hang on to a hum-drum existence for the rest of my life. Then my husband was given the accommodation he’d applied forfor years and hewanted me to move in with him. 1 refused. The apartment I had was on a good part of the city – why leave that to live in a block of flats?“We parted amicably and got divorced shortly after. I eventuallymet a man I really fancied. He was a divorcee too – he’d been for about seven years and had four children. A successful businessman, he wanted us to get married straight away.Iwas happy in the relationship and was actually in love with him. The more I thought about the prospect of re- marrying, themore I convinced myself that what mattered most to me was romance. Romance had quickly died when I firstgot married, and I resented staying at home to look after the kids, see to the cleaning of the house and hold down a full-time job.“That was when I made upmy mind never to live with a managain.I sat my new man down, explained how I felt and left it to him to make uphis own mind about the relationship. I was happy when he said he loved me andwas quite happy to have me on any terms. He’d had some bad experiences in his marriage and didn’t want a repeatperformance. To give our union a semblance of stability, we dida traditional wine-carrying ceremony just to appeaseour relatives. So now, he stays with me weekends till Monday whenhe goes back to his house. His children are quite grown and either live abroad or stay in apartments given them by their dad.We’ve had this ‘marriage’ for five years now. We value the time we’re with each other and have a healthy social life . This keeps the romance and passion alive and because we’re not together all thetime, we don’t get under each other’s skin. There are no rows about money orsilly little things that drive a wedge between other couples. When he comesinto my home, it’s on my own terms.His things are neatly placed – whereas in his home, he does what he likes. He always leaves lights and air conditioners on unnecessarily. But he knows I’m conscious of my electricity bills and will turn offall lights and won’t leave things plugged in.‘It’s the happiest relationship I’v ever been in and I put it down to living separately, I wouldn’t change a thing!’.According to Edurie, a renowned actress, “I love the fact that I can get on the plane to say Abuja with my friends instead of being tied to the house because I have to put hot meals on the table for my husband or breast-feed a child.After I had my daughter, 13 years ago, I’d decided one was enough. I’m only human, and like any woman, have had days during a break-up of a relationship when I sit around in my nightie feeling depressed. Yet I quickly realise that, we came intothis world alone and we all go out of it alone and there’s no point being reliant on anyone else to make you happy.‘I’ve’ really had three boyfriends in my 40 odd years and all have been high-profile relationships.My first serious boyfriend was an industrialist with whom I had my daughter and he still takes good care of us. I was engaged to the second one and dumped him when I caught him sleeping with a close friend. Thethird one was abit younger and immature so we amicably agreed to be just friends. As a matter of fact. I’m on friendlyterms with my exes and appreciate what I have learnt from all of them.It takes strength to look back on a relationship and learn fromthe experiences you had with that person.‘This understanding comes with age, of course. When I was in my 20s, I was in a relationship because Ifelt it completed me.But now I look back and feel so grateful that I didn’t marry the person I was with then, I have changed so much as a person since then and I’m sure he has changed too. With age and experience, I have become confident andhappy in myself regardless of who comes in or out of my life.I certainly don’t want anyone to look at me as a 40-year-old single mother and feel sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life … “

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Geez see as the guy rip her heart commot

Me like it

Well the writer is making sense

As long as the guy is faithful sure we can b married and live apart

Epistle... Who can summarize this textbook. Ogini

we only want the "about the book" part

I cant count the Number of people who proffered that suggestion and suffered dearly for it. Let me tell you something. My friend wanted to try her hand out in long distance relationship. She was at Havard while her guy works at facebook headquarters in San Francisco. She have him a surprise visit only to behold an awful sight. Since then she voted for cohabiting anyday