Nellychinma20:
Truth is, society makes such men feel inferior and weakling and so they prefer not to talk about it .
We still have male virgins out there .

Okay, sadly it ought not to be so.

Tizbid:



Yea there still are.... but not so many share this ideology. Some very spiritual folks I know still have this ideology,however folks who don't do so are mostly for obvious reasons of uncertainty and deceit from the other party.

Yea, its understandable...so much insincerity in today's world.

pcguru1:


Yes but though if I were to speculate, people fear of ending up in a union especially when the other partner is asexual and hides it. I always visit Dead bedroom because I get my kicks from reading married people who are sexually frustrated, you'd see severe case like 12 years no sex because the other partner is not willing and unlike Nigeria nothing gives a man a jolt shock when the word Alimony pops up. Its in reddit thought not to say I support pre-intimacy just shedding light on a diff POV

I have read dead bedrooms on Reddit for sometime as well and I am astounded at how much some people can endure. I am also intrigued by the culture of the Americans. Inspite of the crazy divorce rate in America, there is still a stigma -- it seems -- attached to cheating. I'd daresay there is more stigma attached to cheating than divorce: so the couples stay sexless. Who would have thought!

flowers4me:
Hello Fellow N'landers'

Do people still subscribe to the idea of "abstinence from pre-marital intimacy" in relationships, these days?

In the last couple of years i've met potential suitors who walked, soon as they learnt pre-marital intimacy won't be on offer.

I'm tired of this trend, i need to meet people of like mind...are they still out there?

I have no moral compunctions about having sex outside of marriage and I suspect that people like me are in their millions in this country.

I don't see why a woman should be afraid of sensible sex. I see no reason to live a sexless life. Sex is a biological imperative. The creator who made us put sex there so why should we refrain from it in a supposed bid to stay pure, or to please the most high?

Please tell me something else.

Sex is love for me. You can't love me and not allow me access to your most intimate parts: Where is the love in that? We need to come together, we need to explore our deepest parts, we need to unlock chemicals in our bodies that can only be released through coitus.

The men who have taken a walk from a your life on account of your no-intimacy shenanigans, are indeed, wise men. After a certain point of our biological development and growth as humans, sex becomes a need and not a luxury.

No sane person should abstain from sex unless on account of pain, disability, or incarceration. Never for reasons of staying pure or whatever religious and sentimental motives.

Go get a good dick and release essential hormones in your body my dear.

Vutseck:


the man loose bro,

it's like buying over sized pair of shoes which you can't return back to the seller

did you not loose
.

Spelling my brother. Ambiguity is a curse of the unlettered.

flowers4me:


Okay, thanks. i have met men online and offline who dont agree, even in the churches.

Then regarding the 'hiding stuff ish', nothing is being hidden, the decision is in a bid to lookout for one's self in order not to become damaged goods to the deserving man after falling prey to professional samplers fronting to be suitors.

Two words: damaged goods.

I find those very disturbing. I find it highly incongruent with your quest. You are a woman on the lookout for a non-sexual relationship with the potential of marriage yet your speech suggests that you have commoditized your body, hence, the reason why you see yourself as a potential damaged good.

How does sensible sex lead you to become a damaged good? I wonder what they fed you in those places of worship you frequent.

Hmm, everything about your quest doesn’t quite make sense to me.

Let me ask you this – are you already damaged and waiting for time to undo the damages that have been wrought?

I ask this because from what I can tell from you writings, you seem to have led a life of sexual recklessness in the past, and now you look for someone to coop-up with who will buy the final tokunboh.

Well, if that’s the case, then let me tell you you’re going about it the wrong way.

flowers4me:


Okay Jashar, kindly send the one you know here. Thanks

Lolz.. They ain't on NL. What age bracket are you looking for?

Vutseck:


""we pray together or excuse the house""

why must you invite her to your house at the first place since you know you will lust over her


how can you have an urge if truly you worship God in spirit and not by lip service

give reference in the Bible where you are asked to go into courtship with opposite sex before you can marry her
.

Read Matthew 1:18 n endeavor to have a dictionary at
hand

It is not a sin to be tempted, it z a sin to fall into temptation

Jesus Was even tempted, did he fall? ?



I know your type, since you have spoiled yourself, you believe everyone Z like you.....

I tell u it z never late, God is a God of mercy

flowers4me:


Okay, sadly it ought not to be so.

Hebrews 12:1-2
Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

shebi u go dey collect from me,and after spending that much on you it may later turn that you either jilt me or something else happen,then all my fortune spent on you became wasted.

KOPT55:


Spelling my brother. Ambiguity is a curse of the unlettered.

.



will you rather open an English class on the forum

flowers4me:


Enough of this madness ! why are you so pained over this thread title ? you are a professional sampler damaging goods since time immemorial.

Use the door, get out of here.

Take Note: dont even think of quoting and responding back cos you have been IGNORED.

lol.. unfortunately I'm not the type of chap you can think of bullying, last time I checked I'm still entitled to my opinion


isn't it better you remain single and save your self the stress as an asexual being than to hook up with a man and frustrate his sexual life
.

flowers4me:
Hello Fellow N'landers'

Do people still subscribe to the idea of "abstinence from pre-marital intimacy" in relationships, these days?

In the last couple of years i've met potential suitors who walked, soon as they learnt pre-marital intimacy won't be on offer.

I'm tired of this trend, i need to meet people of like mind...are they still out there?

Yes there are men who don't believe in pre-marital intimacy, first of all, trust has to be developed and relationship should be en-route to marriage before intimacy should come to the table...

Pidgin2:



If they are physically attracted to each other, there's no need to check for compatibility as things will flow as it should after marriage. Will you ask a lady who isn't physically attractive to you for her hand in marriage?

What excellence of wisdom. You spoke well my lady. Gbam

Vutseck:
.



will you rather open an English class on the forum

Lol -- I am sorry to have rattled you. Keep spelling the way you spell.

flowers4me:
Hello Fellow N'landers'

Do people still subscribe to the idea of "abstinence from pre-marital intimacy" in relationships, these days?

In the last couple of years i've met potential suitors who walked, soon as they learnt pre-marital intimacy won't be on offer.

I'm tired of this trend, i need to meet people of like mind...are they still out there?

A lot of people don't know what marriage is about and by so build with faulty wisdom, and this is more than oft why marriages crashes. Premarital intimacy is a slap on the face of God, and a declaration of higher wisdom than the one that instituted it.

Yes, things have become somewhat bastardized, but in reverence to God, it is best not to indulge in Pre-marital intimacy in any form, as what lies ahead is a marriage than has some form of judgement over it. Let's not forget, God said He would judge the marital bed, and this judgement takes an holistic approach in how we build the foundation of our marriages.


Personally, i believe before our partners, God should be houred, He should be the foundation and even the component of the marriage itself.


Leaving spiritual things behind, if one is a virgin, it is easy to get a partner who would agree to non-sexual relations before a marriage, but for the non-virgins this may be difficult.

But virgin or no-virgin, i saw and mentored a lady some years back, who was HIV positive and an alhaji liked her, married her, took her to U.S. She hasn't returned till now. What matters is to find that like-minded person, and make the connection.

Truth be told, if a man hinges on sex as a basis for marriage, then he has issues. Is sex everything a marriage is about? I also agree with the previous comment about compatibility, if there's attraction, if both parties are willing things would fall in place.


Sexual compatibility was a lie sold to the world some 15 years back to promote and justify sexual promiscuity ....


All in all, we must fear God and live within the premise of His laws, cause breaking them always have consequences...Stick to your grounds, God seeing you chose to honour Him will make the connection. But, get on your knees first and pour your heart out to Him and you won't do the searching anymore, as He would take your case up and expedite things to work for you.


God Bless

KOPT55:


I have no moral compunctions about having sex outside of marriage and I suspect that people like me are in their millions in this country.

I don't see why a woman should be afraid of sensible sex. I see no reason to live a sexless life. Sex is a biological imperative. The creator who made us put sex there so why should we refrain from it in a supposed bid to stay pure, or to please the most high?

Please tell me something else.

Sex is love for me. You can't love me and not allow me access to your most intimate parts: Where is the love in that? We need to come together, we need to explore our deepest parts, we need to unlock chemicals in our bodies that can only be released through coitus.

The men who have taken a walk from a your life on account of your no-intimacy shenanigans, are indeed, wise men. After a certain point of our biological development and growth as humans, sex becomes a need and not a luxury.

No sane person should abstain from sex unless on account of pain, disability, or incarceration. Never for reasons of staying pure or whatever religious and sentimental motives.

Go get a good dick and release essential hormones in your body my dear.

Your opinion, and just as every one has got an ass' you are entitled to your opinion...have a good day.

By the way abstinence is to honour God, while sexual relations is to be enslaved to sex...

KOPT55:


Two words: damaged goods.

I find those very disturbing. I find it highly incongruent with your quest. You are a woman on the lookout for a non-sexual relationship with the potential of marriage yet your speech suggests that you have commoditized your body, hence, the reason why you see yourself as a potential damaged good.

How does sensible sex lead you to become a damaged good? I wonder what they fed you in those places of worship you frequent.

Hmm, everything about your quest doesn’t quite make sense to me.

Let me ask you this – are you already damaged and waiting for time to undo the damages that have been wrought?

I ask this because from what I can tell from you writings, you seem to have led a life of sexual recklessness in the past, and now you look for someone to coop-up with who will buy the final tokunboh.

Well, if that’s the case, then let me tell you you’re going about it the wrong way.

You kopt55 do not deserve the honour of getting an answer from me over your demeaning questions.

When sane people on here ask questions they would surely be given answers.

Take your bitterness and mischief out of here.

durasome:
shebi u go dey collect from me,and after spending that much on you it may later turn that you either jilt me or something else happen,then all my fortune spent on you became wasted.

No Durasome, i dont wait on my Date to pick up my bills, he is not obligated to, more-over that's a yard-stick for demanding intimacy.

Thanks

flowers4me:


You kopt55 do not deserve the honour of getting an answer from me over your demeaning questions.

When sane people on here ask questions they would surely be given answers.

Take your bitterness and mischief out of here.

Well you should try to understand it from his own point of view. The society have changed virtually everything we know. From the cunning nature of women to the technicalities of men, the world have evolved and things are now seen through different reference frame. Those who once share same view realized they were deceived only to be preyed upon.

I don't share same view with you but that does not mean they aren't such people around. But when you see them, they may not attract you much, so first, what is the highest thing you can offer a man. If you hinge it on sex, then such can be bought with N500 - N2000 and someone like me sees such a person valueless. I can go into a no sex relationship but you must believe that it can happen at anytime, failure to do so is a complete no from me.

mrphysics:

Well you should try to understand it from his own point of view. The society have changed virtually everything we know. From the cunning nature of women to the technicalities of men, the world have evolved and things are now seen through different reference frame. Those who once share same view realized they were deceived only to be preyed upon.

I don't share same view with you but that does not mean they aren't such people around. But when you see them, they may not attract you much, so first, what is the highest thing you can offer a man. If you hinge it on sex, then such can be bought with N500 - N2000 and someone like me sees such a person valueless. I can go into a no sex relationship but you must believe that it can happen at anytime, failure to do so is a complete no from me.

supersystemsnig:



Yes there are men who don't believe in pre-marital intimacy, first of all, trust has to be developed and relationship should be en-route to marriage before intimacy should come to the table...

Thanks you perfectly understood me..hugs to you.

flowers4me:


Thanks dude ! you perfectly understood me..hugs to you.

Don't address a guy as dude...I ain't a dude

supersystemsnig:

Wetin happen bros. I have actually examined and studied how the female child is trained. As soon as she begins to develop breast, she is taught to learn the skills to manipulate the so many smart guys that will be coming towards her. The guys themselves, takes fun from catching them young since they know the advanced ladies knows what they know too. So the whole circle is corrupt, thus, we must find a new way to do it, not deceiving our own selves.

mrphysics:

Wetin happen bros. I have actually examined and studied how the female child is trained. As soon as she begins to develop breast, she is taught to learn the skills to manipulate the so many smart guys that will be coming towards her. The guys themselves, takes fun from catching them young since they know the advanced ladies knows what they know too. So the whole circle is corrupt, thus, we must find a new way to do it, not deceiving our own selves.

I believe you....

supersystemsnig:



A lot of people don't know what marriage is about and by so build with faulty wisdom, and this is more than oft why marriages crashes. Premarital intimacy is a slap on the face of God, and a declaration of higher wisdom than the one that instituted it.

Yes, things have become somewhat bastardized, but in reverence to God, it is best not to indulge in Pre-marital intimacy in any form, as what lies ahead is a marriage than has some form of judgement over it. Let's not forget, God said He would judge the marital bed, and this judgement takes an holistic approach in how we build the foundation of our marriages.


Personally, i believe before our partners, God should be houred, He should be the foundation and even the component of the marriage itself.


Leaving spiritual things behind, if one is a virgin, it is easy to get a partner who would agree to non-sexual relations before a marriage, but for the non-virgins this may be difficult.

But virgin or no-virgin, i saw and mentored a lady some years back, who was HIV positive and an alhaji liked her, married her, took her to U.S. She hasn't returned till now. What matters is to find that like-minded person, and make the connection.

Truth be told, if a man hinges on sex as a basis for marriage, then he has issues. Is sex everything a marriage is about? I also agree with the previous comment about compatibility, if there's attraction, if both parties are willing things would fall in place.


Sexual compatibility was a lie sold to the world some 15 years back to promote and justify sexual promiscuity ....


All in all, we must fear God and live within the premise of His laws, cause breaking them always have consequences...Stick to your grounds, God seeing you chose to honour Him will make the connection. But, get on your knees first and pour your heart out to Him and you won't do the searching anymore, as He would take your case up and expedite things to work for you.


God Bless

This piece is indeed most refreshing.
Thank you so much for speaking the truth without fear or favour, God bless you more for this, Sir.
Amen to the prayer.

supersystemsnig:



I believe you....

Lol. I visited a friend whose half of what he posts on facebook was about Christ. Preachings upon preaching, everyday he dishes it out. When I visited, I was surprised to know that the guy was a fuckative. For the three weeks I stayed with him, he smashed not less than 3 ladies almost twice. I just advised him to be sincere in everything he does. Me that was claiming bad boy saw I was even a very good guy. I had to even change from the bad to the good

flowers4me:


This piece is indeed most refreshing.
Thank you so much for speaking the truth without fear or favour, God bless you more for this, Sir.

Cool...If you're single, i could hook up with one or two buddies that share your ideologies...

I fear no man !

mrphysics:

Lol. I visited a friend whose half of what he posts on facebook was about Christ. Preachings upon preaching, everyday he dishes it out. When I visited, I was surprised to know that the guy was a fuckative. For the three weeks I stayed with him, he smashed not less than 3 ladies almost twice. I just advised him to be sincere in everything he does. Me that was claiming bad boy saw I was even a very good guy. I had to even change from the bad to the good

MrPhysics, don't kill me this afternoon abeg. But i know many guys who are not into it but they don't show it...They don't do any kind of sexual stuff, but, it depends sha, if the intimacy between both parties is really healthy, sexual relations can come in along the line...


But, once again let me laff at your comment abeg...

supersystemsnig:



MrPhysics, don't kill me this afternoon abeg. But i know many guys who are not into it but they don't show it...They don't do any kind of sexual stuff, but, it depends sha, if the intimacy between both parties is really healthy, sexual relations can come in along the line...


But, once again let me laff at your comment abeg...

That's the point. But what do ladies do, they first want to handicap you from the beginning. They want to emotionally arrest you, and if you ask them what they have for you, they begin to tell you time, encouragement, advice, etc, and I ask, before she came, do I lack those things.


Seems, like you have not been taken advantage of before. When I used to be the type of person you described, I found out that I was deceiving myself. Most guys that are like that now, aren't in relationship.

When, sex is overhyped and I see nothing in it. I always believe in the purpose of all things. Relationship ought to be healthy, but the society and economic condition of this country makes relationship to be a game of interest.

mrphysics:

Well you should try to understand it from his own point of view. The society have changed virtually everything we know. From the cunning nature of women to the technicalities of men, the world have evolved and things are now seen through different reference frame. Those who once share same view realized they were deceived only to be preyed upon.

I don't share same view with you but that does not mean they aren't such people around. But when you see them, they may not attract you much, so first, what is the highest thing you can offer a man. If you hinge it on sex, then such can be bought with N500 - N2000 and someone like me sees such a person valueless. I can go into a no sex relationship but you must believe that it can happen at anytime, failure to do so is a complete no from me.

Thanks but no thanks..i came on here to seek closure and a positive way forward but certainly not to get my mind derailed. Have a good day.

mrphysics:

That's the point. But what do ladies do, they first want to handicap you from the beginning. They want to emotionally arrest you, and if you ask them what they have for you, they begin to tell you time, encouragement, advice, etc, and I ask, before she came, do I lack those things.


Seems, like you have not been taken advantage of before. When I used to be the type of person you described, I found out that I was deceiving myself. Most guys that are like that now, aren't in relationship.

When, sex is overhyped and I see nothing in it. I always believe in the purpose of all things. Relationship ought to be healthy, but the society and economic condition of this country makes relationship to be a game of interest.

Well, i'm an hustler and haven't seen the need for a woman until now. However, i choose not to follow stereotypes but do determine my play as i go. I however, don't want to be crushed beneath the ill feelings of relationships. While i maintain a positive posture and clear head, and look into it with optimism, i don't want to be swayed or duped in anyway. I'm a core African man, and can't detect when i'm been fooled very fast.

The moment, i detect ill treatment, i retract, but in return i also don't treat people badly. We need to end the cycle of mistrust otherwise our actions would be what was conferred upon us and not what we truly desire to perform from the depth of our hearts.