is the stress too much for him? does he still want me? am i still attractive? is he cheating on me? does he appreciate the meaning of intimacy. these are the question that are racking my brain. lately me and my husband have been emotionally distant and our communication is almost non existent. i know the stress is getting tense and we both are to blame for our childishness and have our own issues to weed through. i love him dearly and i want the best for us we are both still young and going through the motions. work, school, rent, etc. its shouldn't be this hard to make time to be intimate but with all of our wahala its been hard for my husband to desire me and I'd to think I've pushed him into another's arms. i am an affectionate young woman i enjoy pleasing him sexually(sorry if that was too much just painting a picture.) even when we fight i still crave him. but has the stress become too much for him? it is rare that he initiates intimacy, affection, and i cant but help but feel lonely, with a little dash of resentment because I've told him how i feel yet my feelings go unacknowledged. i know i may sound extremely selfish but all I'm saying is i don't feel my husband desires me sexually anymore because of our wahala. background info I'm 23 he is 25 loves soccer and ps3 and spends sometime on nl as well. we have been married 8 mos 6 days 12hrs and 22mins i love him so much my heart beats with each breathe he takes. my soul burns for his essence and i'm completely captivated with his presence. i am utterly and completely in love with my husband and can't wait for God to bless our with peace, love, and the strength to make through our wahala. i know it takes time for us to get in sync with one another but in the mean time we are both suffering emotionally. i just ask for nlanders to pray for us because i feel he is my soul-mate and could not live the rest of my life without the best gift God has ever given me besides my own life is the man of my dreams to spend mine with. thanks for hearing me out, its nice to have a place to express myself

Maybe he cnt stand ur Wahala!

@ noble
u r correct but i still pray we make it thru this with Gods grace. thanks 4 ur reply

Sweety my prayers are with u.
Just try to understand him and find fun things that will make both of u happy.
Play with him and give him reasons to come home apart from intimacy.
Stay bless and be prayerful.

Ma heart goes out 2 u . Bt push s.ex aside 4 a while and discus things wit him ,d stres of work and stuff, initiate fun in2 ur lives and dont 4get 2 includ prayer.

some virtues he use to see in you before now are no more traceable, think about where it went wrong, do you still OBEY him? do you APPOLOGIES? has your familly LIABILITIES transfered to him after he married you 8 months ago? did he find a LIE about you? do you HANG OUT with those he says you should avoid?, etc

well, this a way out:
1. when he is going to office,wish him well, see him off to the car and pek him bye
2. call him and ask what he will take for lunch, dinner etc
3. do not ask for expensive gifts when you see he is facing financial problem

marriage is a practical activity there is no reharsal, share you day with him by discussion,

do not FEAR  that you will loose him now not at all

why don't you tell him exactly what you just wrote sister? i wish you much love and strength in your relationship. i hope it works.

@ bad mo fo
i kno wat is goin on with us although we both are struggles and are both stressed i still desire to be wanted by him and no other man could ever compare. my worry is that even with the trouble i am able to still be intimate with him. n i pray we can get through this though i thank u for your concern as well

@ okenwa

i dnt think we are eye to eye on that obedience thing since neither one of us like to treated like children respectful request is the way i think of it lol. he says he has never thought of cheating and for the most part i believe him its just that we have been distant emotionally for a few months and am asking for all the prayers of anyone who is concerned that we make it through this rut by Gods grace thank you all for your concern be blessed

You should ask yourself these questions.
Have you both been happy before?
What was the atmosphere of you home when u were both happy?
What is laking from the atmosphere now?
Is there any sudden change in character, career, or otherwise?

An answer to this questions will give you a clue to restor you home back to what it used to be.
When u make ur home uncomfortable for your man, you jst issued him a quit notice. There are many men today that goes back from work, not becoz they have a home, but becoz the have a house(where they can jst pass a nite). Make your house a home and your man will always happily come back to you.

@ prince i thank you so much for advice and concern i pray that God blesses our marriage
i pray for us and ask you all to please pray for us and in return i, u

@all who continues to post
i appreciate everyones honesty, advice, prayers, and concerns. please continue to keep us in your prayers i thank u all very much may you all be blessed. your views and opinions are very much still welcome although i would greatly appreciate you alls prayers the more, however i am in the u.s. and its getting very late so i will be exiting the forum for now. thank you all for everything my dears. may God be with you and yours amen

@Poster,
if your husband loves soccer and plays video games, then you don't have much problems. Guys that are into games and soccer rarely give their spouse problems. Video games keeps your spirit alive.All you need do is to get close to him. It might sound crazy but play with him sometimes(video games i mean) he'll surely bare his soul to you.
Ssex is not the answer. You need to reach out and get to know the real problem.

i'll tell you one thing, marriage ain't a bed of roses, there's the good times and bad times where u both would not talk for days, i try to apologize even when i know i am right, just to avoid fighting, and try to give each other space, try not to nag and let him do his thing. get into what he loves, that way you'll spend time together, i taught my hubby how to play video games and i watch basket ball with him sometimes just to make him happy.

cantell:

@Poster,
if your husband loves soccer and plays video games, then you don't have much problems. Guys that are into games and soccer rarely give their spouse problems. Video games keeps your spirit alive.All you need do is to get close to him. It might sound crazy but play with him sometimes(video games i mean) he'll surely bare his soul to you.
Ssex is not the answer. You need to reach out and get to know the real problem.

exactly
@poster
U need 2 knw wat d main problem is

cantell:

@Poster,
if your husband loves soccer and plays video games, then you don't have much problems. Guys that are into games and soccer rarely give their spouse problems. Video games keeps your spirit alive.All you need do is to get close to him. It might sound crazy but play with him sometimes(video games i mean) he'll surely bare his soul to you.
Ssex is not the answer. You need to reach out and get to know the real problem.

exactly
@poster
U need 2 knw wat d main problem is

If could be you're the nagging type, check yourself out, I believe the fault might be from you .

here are a few tips,

1. send him like 4 text messages during the day, all erotic
2. beep his fone like evry hr, if he calls back, tell him u just wanted to hear his voice
3. ask him out to dinner after work
4. discuss ur fears with him, without any tension in the air

My advice, u guys are still young both in marriage and age, u have the rest of ur lives to try and understand urselves and discover ur sexual turn ons, dont be under any pressure, even if he is cheating on u, still initiate things when u need him and get ur satisfaction, u can start to fret when he stops responding even to ur moves. Best of luck