it all happened about 7 years ago, my mum had a feeling that a friend of hers gave birth to a 17year old girl and she suspected the father of the girl to be my dad. Eventually she confided about this with us the kids, I told her not to worry about the girl, until dad brings up the issue himself, but trust women, when they suspect something, they act. mum did all her findings and it turned out positive that my dad was the father of the child. she became mad and furious, she had no choice and confronted my dad on this issue. at first dad acted childish, claiming nothing of such had occurred. but from persistent pressure from the little girl and the lady who was the custodian taking care of her and other of my dads brothers who pressured him to take his child home, it became a thug of war at home between mum and dad, Dad insisted the baby must come in or mum should leave the house, mum insisted that the child must not come in, because she had suffered a lot in that marriage over 30yrs. in null shell, mum lost out of the battle due to my dads pressure and my dads family pressure, always fighting her in the middle of the night like a man under a spell, that the child must come home. to be honest, how does she take the blow in her face , having given birth to 4 kids, and what my dad is now interested in is the girl outside, that was brought to earth by her own friend ? how does she stay with the kid under a roof.

people talked and talked, I told mum to leave the house because the fighting was becoming wayward and I was scared one should not kill them self. mum was living as a total stranger in her house where she lifted virtually all the blocks in building the house (if u know what I meant by this statement).....
1-mum relocated
2-Dad lost his company
3-my kid bro became a drop out
4-the girl lives at home with them now
5- cars, houses where sold
6- everything changed drastically

-just recently I got a call from my father, complaining that my kid bro is a warrant officer under his roof, fighting around the neighborhood, engaging in vices(not stealing anyway). this truancy and nonchalant attitude erupted from no angle(reasons why you should not be thinking about polygamous home as an ambitious man. not everyone agrees with this anyway, Men with ojukokoro eyes) thanks to that super woman called my mum.

-Am taking much time here, let me round up on time, my uncles connived against my mum and me, "them go collect my mum bride price " without my notice. that means them no marry again.

- just yesterday my dad called and said he will lock up my kid bro for tormenting his life and making his life a hell blah blah blue. I told him to chill, I called my brother immediately to know why his sudden change of attitude and to know what's going wrong at home.

- my NL family I tire, what he replied is dad is planning to get married ,he just rounded up his Introduction which I wasn't aware of as his first son, although he knows I will never be in support of this irrational idea.

My NL family, Expatriate , marriage counselors , able mothers, sensible fathers , professors , students. and every well wishers .
what did I fail to do, And what do I need to do in this family affair giving me sleepless nights
*Dad and brother tussle
*I recently lost my job
*mums biz not in better shape anymore
*dad deciding to marry a new wife despite the ups and down in business
*and many more things am tired of typing here.




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I really feel bad for you tho, I don't even know if you can do anything about it. He did introduction without even telling you, he slept and impregnated your mom's friend. That's so mean, if I say something now some chauvinistic assholes will start giving endless mentions.
Focus on your mum and your real siblings, that's what I do. When he gets married and give birth to other kids, he shouldn't even try asking you for anything (like upkeep). Some men are just insatiable.

everyone of you should get engaged in any job and try to better your life. Leave the man alone He would come back to apologize.

Leave the man alone, he will regret the whole thing just that by then people will think his kids are evil.

What could have been your mum's offence that he couldn't keep his manhood in check, the manhood had to wander in between his wife friend's thigh...
Insisting the child must move in without considering his wife feeling is so cruel of him, infidelity is one thing, waking up each day to see the product of your husband's action is another thing..that's one big height of betrayal...Not everyone can forgive infidelity/betrayal

The family that insisted the child moves in, where are they today

Your dad destroyed his home, and now he wants to destroy any hope of the home coming back to life.

Let your mum be, provide for as much as you can, I do not advise she goes back to that home, her happiness and state of the mind matters...since her bride price has been returned, she's as free as the bird in the sky

As per your brother, why not let him get an apartment of his own, the whole issue must have a strong hold of him....
He is angry at your dad which is understandable but he'll outgrow it over time
you all should leave your father alone to live his life or what's left of it...if bringing in a new wife is what he wants, let him do it but please tell him if he's going to father more kids, he should have the means to take care of them, not make them a burden to you..

Your main focus now is your mum and your siblings, let your dad marry as much as he can. You and your siblings work hard and make it...make your momma proud

His life, his choices.....just advisr ur dad (whenever he brings up the topic) that you wont be responsible for the care/welfare of any young children......men like that often expect older kids to shoulder the financial responsibilities of their reckless ways

prestigiouslady:
Leave the man alone, he will regret the whole thing just that by then people will think his kids are evil.

What could have been your mum's offence that he couldn't keep his manhood in check, the manhood had to wander in between his wife friend's thigh...
Insisting the child must move in without considering his wife feeling is so cruel of him, infidelity is one thing, waking up each day to see the product of your husband's action is another thing..that's one big height of betrayal...Not everyone can forgive infidelity/betrayal

The family that insisted the child moves in, where are they today

Your dad destroyed his home, and now he wants to destroy any hope of the home coming back to life.

Let your mum be, provide for as much as you can, I do not advise she goes back to that home, her happiness and state of the mind matters...since her bride price has been returned, she's as free as the bird in the sky

As per your brother, why not let him get an apartment of his own, the whole issue must have a strong hold of him....
He is angry at your dad which is understandable but he'll outgrow it over time
you all should leave your father alone to live his life or what's left of it...if bringing in a new wife is what he wants, let him do it but please tell him if he's going to father more kids, he should have the means to take care of them, not make them a burden to you..

Your main focus now is your mum and your siblings, let your dad marry as much as he can. You and your siblings work hard and make it...make your momma proud

"your dad destroyed his home, and now he wants to
destroy any hope of the home coming back to life."
I don't know you, but that point discuss this whole issue in null shell, thanks for this little massive piece .

keepingmum:
His life, his choices.....just advisr ur dad (whenever he brings up the topic) that you wont be responsible for the care/welfare of any young children......men like that often expect older kids to shoulder the financial responsibilities of their reckless ways

Exactly.... let him know that. You do not owe him

Focus on being a better man.

It is easy to condemn this man while you're still single. History has a way of repeating itself so be very careful.

I'm actually really surprised that it took your mom 17 years to discover who the father of her friend's daughter is. This kind of friend can kill. Your mom must be going through a lot already, and I sincerely hope you won't marry wrongly.

Hope you are not taking side with your mum in this issue.
Because if I can't the number of mum you called it will be more than dad.

There are so many things that may be responsible. Sex is one why women age sexually men don't. After four kids Papa want to continue knacking mama will always have excuse I am tired, don't disturb my sleep and so on and so forth in the long run papa go land for the hand of waiting girl outside. Na so house go scatter

The new woman is after your dad property I can bet it.

Solution

MFM prayer city all strange woman that want to scatter my home die by fire and thunder