So I’ve been dating my gf for over 20 months, we’ve been cool, loving and all.

Two months a go, she was down with ulcer( chronic ulcer pains) and have been taking medications since then...

Along the line, she started complaining that I don’t care about her health and all I do is to give her money for drugs and just call to tell her she’ll be fine.

On my part I most confess that the way I call/text reduced solely because I recently got a new job and still in the process of mastering it.(tho i still keep good communication but not as b4)

I explained all this to her but she wasn’t contented.

So there’s this guy she’s been taking to for a while (was just back from his masters). Initially she tells me about how he’s her friend and that he’s doing his masters and all.

I was cool cus it’s healthy if she keep a few male friends.

Along the line, I started noticing how they’re now close and she can how they call n text each other so much!

I confronted her and she lied he’s not the one... not until I found out n she agreed and said they’re just friends.

I was still skeptical about everything and I was fast loosing my trust for her.

Now she does stuff “low key” with the guy, the guy is back in the country and they’ve met a couple of times! Yet she maintains he’s not an issue.


Two days ago, I went to see her in a bit to clear the air and bring her close. She was all cool with the idea and even said she doesn’t have anything to do with the guy again that they don’t even call or text again. I was happy (relived) but one thing was telling me to verify.

So at that point, I cloned her WhatsApp (was a bad idea I guess) and left.


Loll. Just few mins after I left, she texted the guy and was like;

“Hi”,
“how did it go?”,
“John I am so bored and lonely”

I was shocked!

This was the same girl that said she no longer talks to him and all.


And to crown everything, she called me a few hours later and thanked me for coming over with all the love talks etc.


Still in shock.


So she chated me up on WhatsApp and was like she already misses me and she can’t wait to see me again.


I just replied her with the screenshot and left.

She started calling n calling...

I later picked and she was like it’s not what I think and all... note; she has lied about this guy over 30 times.


I clearly told her to cut off the guy that he’s an issue in this relationship but she declined and was like he’s not an hindrance and he’s just a friend she can talk to.


I clearly told her we can’t continue unless she cuts him off.

Again, she declined. And was still begging.


Guys, am confused. I love her.

But can’t stand her confining in another guy.

She blames it on the fact that I stopped caring.


I need your advice on what to do.
Mind the typos.

She is weighing both of you and playing never put all your egg in one basket game. Please never ever go back to her. I know it's hard but, find yourself a new girl and start all over again.

Hmmm.... Give her time... If dhrs still persistent with the guy... Then breakup
If you jilt her now, She'll definitely run into that guys handsnd that makes you a coward.... You fight for what you have!

SHe is simply using the guy to fill the void your new work created. Don't be so busy to the point of having little time for people you claim to love.

Have you ever experienced Heartbreak, if no, get set because it is LOADING!

dollyjoy:
SHe is simply using the guy to fill the void your new work created. Don't be so busy to the point of having little time for people you claim to love.

Thanks for your advice.

I’m now a pro in my field and hv made this clear to her and even showing it.

My point is why she still keeps the guy.

All she does is to blame it on the fact that my care reduced.

I really can’t stand it.

ABBkelvin:
She is weighing both of you and playing never put all your egg in one basket game. Please never ever go back to her. I know it's hard but, find yourself a new girl and start all over again.

Moving on is hard! So Hard!

Heartbreak is brutal. The earlier you admit it, the better.

Bibi294:
Hmmm.... Give her time... If dhrs still persistent with the guy... Then breakup
If you jilt her now, She'll definitely run into that guys handsnd that makes you a coward.... You fight for what you have!

Hmm okay.

But here, I don’t have the patience of time.

Alry

Heloct:
Heartbreak is brutal. The earlier you admit it, the better.

I am weak, but strong.

You acted too early by sending her that screenshot; you should've been a little patient to know wots really between them but you've lost that opportunity.

With my many years of experience with females I can tell you that d said guy is banging d day light out of your girl.

The most dangerous type of girls are the ones that lies and the ones that can beg for Africa when you want to breakup with them.
Don't prolong the doomsday and ur suffering end it now.

shortgun:
You acted too early by sending her that screenshot; you should've been a little patient to know wots really between them but you've lost that opportunity.

With my many years of experience with females I can tell you that d said guy is banging d day light out of your girl.

The most dangerous type of girls are the ones that lies and the ones that can beg for Africa when you want to breakup with them.
Don't prolong the doomsday and ur suffering end it now.

Yea. I thought so too. He should have waited to gather more evidence and be sure. I guess na love.

Grow a pair will ya ! .....

First rule bro, never trust a woman, you can love her, live with her care for her but never trust her.
A girl see you trusting her as a weakness,
Look brother, girls will tell you to be patient, but the thing is, this girl has proved a point to you, she will never be satisfied, your not married and Shes already saying your not giving her time.
I think you should have a sit down with her, dont react, just tell her you want to talk, then ask her to tell you every thing, from the beginning. Don't interrupt her, remind her that you know, but you guess she should have a chance.

Once she's through lying tell her that you love her but you haven't seen any girl other than her, you care about her and your want her to be happy, so you'll let her be happy with her guy, that you guess a man who can be happy with another man's girl will trust her completely and probably marry her.
Then leave and block her number for a week pls this is the hard part, you might get messages like "I'll do something to myself if you don't answer me" call confirm shes OK then block her again. She has a chance and a choice, she will try to get back to you and ditch him of her accord or she will stay with him. That choice is the only thing that can save the relationship.

She has to let go of him by herself,am sure your tired of thinking what she's doing when your not there.

Wishmore:


Thanks for your advice.

I’m now a pro in my field and hv made this clear to her and even showing it.

My point is why she still keeps the guy.

All she does is to blame it on the fact that my care reduced.

I really can’t stand it.

She's still in love with yu. Just experimenting and filing a void. Talk to her folks.Simple. They'll talk senses to her, and she'll be back

KreativGenius:



She's still in love with yu. Just experimenting and filing a void. Talk to her folks.Simple. They'll talk senses to her, and she'll be back

Which kind of experiment, the girl has been warned, told, explained to.
She made up her mind to lie to him and tell the other guy everything, it's a shift of alliance and he has to kill it now or lose her, the trick here is that she has to think its her choice. Or do you think he will live very long after she keep on with her various experiments?

donsimo:


Which kind of experiment, the girl has been warned, told, explained to.
She made up her mind to lie to him and tell the other guy everything, it's a shift of alliance and he has to kill it now or lose her, the trick here is that she has to think its her choice. Or do you think he will live very long after she keep on with her various experiments?

Na their way. Drifting. The guy's in live with her. That means something, At some point ladies act this way

The heartbreak that's coming is doing Press-Ups, she is even making it worse by begging you... making you think that there's hope when there's nothing for you.

Follow your gut, you know the right thing to do and do it very fast.

KreativGenius:



Na their way. Drifting. The guy's in live with her. That means something, At some point ladies act this way

I know, but it mustn't go to far, the girl is just giving excuse, she's not saying she's wrong, meaning she has no reason to stop. She's just blaming him for not being there, as if that's reason enough.

donsimo:


I know, but it mustn't go to far, the girl is just giving excuse, she's not saying she's wrong, meaning she has no reason to stop. She's just blaming him for not being there, as if that's reason enough.

That's true anymore. But the guy is unable to delete the love from his heart, the option is to find a way to get to her and resolve the crisis and what's causing it. Simple

Bibi294:
Hmmm.... Give her time... If dhrs still persistent with the guy... Then breakup
If you jilt her now, She'll definitely run into that guys handsnd that makes you a coward.... You fight for what you have!

fight for wetin my sister? That girl is playing games.. I'd walk away if it's me.. 'seven billion people in the world trying to fit in' - justin bieber.

Luxuryconsult:
fight for wetin my sister? That girl is playing games.. I'd walk away if it's me.. 'seven billion people in the world trying to fit in' - justin bieber.

This is the traditional mindset of people going into dating. It's wrong. He should man up, up his game and win his love. It's stressing chasing one girl alone let alone jumping from one to the next

Cut her off

RETIREDMUMU:
i just laugh when a guy spends on a merely gf not a wife and later regret der act, and some lovey dovey and still will later turn soar

it only pple learned about this fact_____------''no body owe you anything', 'and u don't have somebody for ur self only' then they can see this part of this world in another perspective

Chair man, abeg, op has a problem, it's not easy right now, his job may suffer. He needs a way to sort him out, not a change in philosophy right now. After this issue we can debate this new topic.

KreativGenius:



That's true anymore. But the guy is unable to delete the love from his heart, the option is to find a way to get to her and resolve the crisis and what's causing it. Simple

my brother there is no problem anywhere, the lady is just bringing that up delibrately. Girls can be anything when they are willing. A girl that can tolerate a mad man when they are truely in love with him.. So na lie she dey lie say the op no care or so. I'd adviced the OP to try and start letting go of the love little by little, maybe he should hook up with someone that can help him with that so incase the devil that wants to use the lady eventually manifest itself.. The effect won' be that much on him.. That's more like handwritten on the wall.. It's gradually appearing.

Luxuryconsult:
my brother there is no problem anywhere, the lady is just bringing that up delibrately. Girls can be anything when they are willing. A girl that can tolerate a mad man when they are truely in love with him.. So na lie she dey lie say the op no care or so. I'd adviced the OP to try and start letting go of the love little by little, maybe he should hook up with someone that can help him with that so incase the devil that wants to use the lady eventually manifest itself.. The effect won' be that much on him.. That's more like handwritten on the wall.. It's gradually appearing.

You're right sha. On a second thought, you're right and i stand with you. Guys will make room for a guy they truly love. She wasn't truly into him, or the love gradually started to fade. Perhaps a dodged bullet

KreativGenius:


This is the traditional mindset of people going into dating. It's wrong. He should man up, up his game and win his love. It's stressing chasing one girl alone let alone jumping from one to the next

I know the feeling, I don't have strength for another girl, I can't start from scratch with another babe. Even the thought dey weak me. That's y I work on my babe, I know she's not Fort Knox. But she's close enough, and I shield her as much as I can.

Op. You mustn't do like she means everything, girls mid behave when they know that, give her a chance the shut her out. She has to fight to be with you. It will take her mind off the guy. You may even involve another babe in the matter.

donsimo:


Chair man, abeg, op has a problem, it's not easy right now, his job may suffer. He needs a way to sort him out, not a change in philosophy right now. After this issue we can debate this new topic.

bro oga, this is based on his issues, it only yo stop seeing u owe any body anything, and u don't have somebody only to ur self, ur love life will not later going soar like we seeing marriage, relationship today, think about it mister

donsimo:


I know the feeling, I don't have strength for another girl, I can start from scratch with another babe. Even the thought dey weak me. That's y I work on my babe, I know she's not Fort Knox. But she's close enough, and I shield her as much as I can.

Op. You mustn't do like she means everything, girls mid behave when they know that, give her a chance the shut her out. She has to fight to be with you. It will take her mind off the guy. You may even involve another babe in the matter.

I agree