I am unhappy with my life because I am not happy with the way I look (I even posted photographs online of my body and all I got was insults about how bad it looks) I have no money, I am on government welfare and unemployed – I have started a job but have not yet started working. I am unhappy with who I am, not close with my family, a university drop out which is why at age 23 I am trying to do my best to try and start university when most of my friends have already finished masters. My brother is disabled, I worry about his future. I had family problems to the extent my parents burnt my baby photographs, and we were always in physical fights and altercations that police were involved. I said a lot of awful things including wishing my mother would get cancer and die, however that was all spoken out of anger because I know when she got ill I begged and begged God for her healing, and I truly did not mean what I said because what I said was out of anger and passing comment, but I begged God everyday for her healing doing the absolute most – going to different churches, speaking to different pastors, using anointing all etc and if there is power in the tongue that made her die why was the power of the tongue not effective when I wished her healing? I have also made so many mistakes and wonder if because of bad things I have done in the past to others is the reason why my life is such a mess today.

The two biggest mistakes:

1. I was bullied as a teen by some girls, and therefore some years later I made a fake account and sent them a message insulting them and even mentioned one of the girls dead parents. Another guy was awful to me when I would not sleep with him, and I said to him I am happy his father is dead so he doesn’t have to see his horrible son today

2. I cyberbullied a popular online celebrity, I harassed her to the point she had to get the police involved – I did this because I truly believed that if we went to the same school she would have bullied me, and I thought it was her karma. One of the things I said was that ‘her mother will die young’

My adulthood so far has been fine, but when I was 20 my mother was diagnosed with cancer that spread and was therefore terminal. She died when I was 23. She suffered like a criminal and in the end she died. This is the only thing that I cannot rectify and change. Everything else, I can rectify and change but my mum? She is dead, and gone forever. I have now lost my faith and I am now an atheist because I believe I gave my ALL to God- from age 15 I was evangelising, praying, fasting, going to church, living a true Christian life and there are people who live a less ‘christian’ life than me and there mothers are still alive and healthy. I have lost my faith in God because there is nothing that we did not do, we went from church to church, we gave money to many pastors, we went to see a traditional herbalist, we prayed, we fasted, everyone was praying and yet she still died.

I truly do not know why I am alive anymore, I don't see the point in my life and I feel like if there is a God he hates me - I put on a brave face but everyday I want to cry, I am reminded of what I have lost and the big mess I have made of my life.. every single day.

Please do not judge, just give me advice.

do you not notice the contradiction between your moniker and your post

I will not tell you lie: this your problem, is either extraterrestrial spirits, or your village people are trying to get your attention.

There is no problem here...



Start working on your personality and mind set. You need to do this first, otherwise, you will not last in any establishment! Visit counselorscounselors and never hold back while telling them what you have done so bad. Then, your 'healing' can begin.

decatalyst:
There is no problem here...



Start working on your personality and mind set. You need to do this first, otherwise, you will not last in any establishment! Visit counselorscounselors and never hold back while telling them what you have done so bad. Then, your 'healing' can begin.

Ok.

-Unhappy with the way I look: I am going to use 2018 to do a makeover to look better, but anyways- how many girls are happy with the way they look? Very few, which is why so many are on plastic surgery and makeup and weave.

-I have no money: Ok, I am going to stop spending money on nonsense and start saving up and being a wise spender. I am also going to start working my new jobs and I am also going to look into side jobs.

-I am unhappy with who I am: I am going to become happy with who I am through self development

-not close with my family: I am going to restore my family relationships

- a university drop out which is why at age 23 I am trying to do my best to try and start university when most of my friends have already finished masters: If anyone ask I will tell them I delayed it because I did not want to go straight away, and I was just working... and now as I am studying I will work hard to pass my college course so I gain admission to the best university to do the best course

- My brother is disabled, I worry about his future: his condition is not too severe, work hard on him so that he can be the best that he can be academically, social skills etc

I had family problems to the extent my parents burnt my baby photographs, and we were always in physical fights and altercations that police were involved. I said a lot of awful things including wishing my mother would get cancer and die, however that was all spoken out of anger because I know when she got ill I begged and begged God for her healing, and I truly did not mean what I said because what I said was out of anger and passing comment, but I begged God everyday for her healing doing the absolute most – going to different churches, speaking to different pastors, using anointing all etc and if there is power in the tongue that made her die why was the power of the tongue not effective when I wished her healing? I have also made so many mistakes and wonder if because of bad things I have done in the past to others is the reason why my life is such a mess today.

The two biggest mistakes:

1. I was bullied as a teen by some girls, and therefore some years later I made a fake account and sent them a message insulting them and even mentioned one of the girls dead parents. Another guy was awful to me when I would not sleep with him, and I said to him I am happy his father is dead so he doesn’t have to see his horrible son today

2. I cyberbullied a popular online celebrity, I harassed her to the point she had to get the police involved – I did this because I truly believed that if we went to the same school she would have bullied me, and I thought it was her karma. One of the things I said was that ‘her mother will die young’

:I will try and solve my demons, rectify and come to peace with my past turmoil

My adulthood so far has been fine, but when I was 20 my mother was diagnosed with cancer that spread and was therefore terminal. She died when I was 23. She suffered like a criminal and in the end she died. This is the only thing that I cannot rectify and change. Everything else, I can rectify and change but my mum? She is dead, and gone forever. I have now lost my faith and I am now an atheist because I believe I gave my ALL to God- from age 15 I was evangelising, praying, fasting, going to church, living a true Christian life and there are people who live a less ‘christian’ life than me and there mothers are still alive and healthy. I have lost my faith in God because there is nothing that we did not do, we went from church to church, we gave money to many pastors, we went to see a traditional herbalist, we prayed, we fasted, everyone was praying and yet she still died.

: I will try and come to peace and terms with my mums death

I truly do not know why I am alive anymore, I don't see the point in my life and I feel like if there is a God he hates me - I put on a brave face but everyday I want to cry, I am reminded of what I have lost and the big mess I have made of my life.. every single day.

Please do not judge, just give me advice.

: hopefully this time next year, I will be in a better place in my life.

Actually, ur seeming problem is not a problem:
1. You av to go bk to d same God. believing He exist and has ur interest at heart. only Him can help u.
2. work on ur characters n spoken words
3. Edit d post by subtracting exaggerated sentences from it
4. NLers advice without ur determination is futile
5. You av a great future
Eccl 11:9-10

Prettyigbochick:


Ok.

-Unhappy with the way I look: I am going to use 2018 to do a makeover to look better, [/b]but anyways- how many girls are happy with the way they look? Very few, which is why so many are on plastic surgery and makeup and weave.

-I have no money: [b]Ok, I am going to stop spending money on nonsense and start saving up and being a wise spender. I am also going to start working my new jobs and I am also going to look into side jobs.

-I am unhappy with who I am: I am going to become happy with who I am through self development

-not close with my family: I am going to restore my family relationships

- a university drop out which is why at age 23 I am trying to do my best to try and start university when most of my friends have already finished masters: If anyone ask I will tell them I delayed it because I did not want to go straight away, and I was just working... and now as I am studying I will work hard to pass my college course so I gain admission to the best university to do the best course

- My brother is disabled, I worry about his future: his condition is not too severe, work hard on him so that he can be the best that he can be academically, social skills etc

I had family problems to the extent my parents burnt my baby photographs, and we were always in physical fights and altercations that police were involved. I said a lot of awful things including wishing my mother would get cancer and die, however that was all spoken out of anger because I know when she got ill I begged and begged God for her healing, and I truly did not mean what I said because what I said was out of anger and passing comment, but I begged God everyday for her healing doing the absolute most – going to different churches, speaking to different pastors, using anointing all etc and if there is power in the tongue that made her die why was the power of the tongue not effective when I wished her healing? I have also made so many mistakes and wonder if because of bad things I have done in the past to others is the reason why my life is such a mess today.

The two biggest mistakes:

1. I was bullied as a teen by some girls, and therefore some years later I made a fake account and sent them a message insulting them and even mentioned one of the girls dead parents. Another guy was awful to me when I would not sleep with him, and I said to him I am happy his father is dead so he doesn’t have to see his horrible son today

2. I cyberbullied a popular online celebrity, I harassed her to the point she had to get the police involved – I did this because I truly believed that if we went to the same school she would have bullied me, and I thought it was her karma. One of the things I said was that ‘her mother will die young’

:I[b] will try and solve my demons, rectify and come to peace with my past turmoil
[/b]
My adulthood so far has been fine, but when I was 20 my mother was diagnosed with cancer that spread and was therefore terminal. She died when I was 23. She suffered like a criminal and in the end she died. This is the only thing that I cannot rectify and change. Everything else, I can rectify and change but my mum? She is dead, and gone forever. I have now lost my faith and I am now an atheist because I believe I gave my ALL to God- from age 15 I was evangelising, praying, fasting, going to church, living a true Christian life and there are people who live a less ‘christian’ life than me and there mothers are still alive and healthy. I have lost my faith in God because there is nothing that we did not do, we went from church to church, we gave money to many pastors, we went to see a traditional herbalist, we prayed, we fasted, everyone was praying and yet she still died.

: I will try and come to peace and terms with my mums death

I truly do not know why I am alive anymore, I don't see the point in my life and I feel like if there is a God he hates me - I put on a brave face but everyday I want to cry, I am reminded of what I have lost and the big mess I have made of my life.. every single day.

Please do not judge, just give me advice.

: hopefully this time next year, I will be in a better place in my life.

those bolded words are all you need to do.

you have the solution to your emotional problems.

you need to focus and be self determined.

you ve advised yourself well just wait to be judged here. trust me.

go out there and make some real friends.

decatalyst:
There is no problem here...



Start working on your personality and mind set. You need to do this first, otherwise, you will not last in any establishment! Visit counselorscounselors and never hold back while telling them what you have done so bad. Then, your 'healing' can begin.

You know I've come to discover you never know the gravity of what people are facing until you are in their shoes. I think a lot of people would have committed suicide with what she faced & When all Faith is gone, you loose trust in God.

I think she needs people close to her to bring her back to God first & renew her faith, All things can go well from there.

She is obviously broken totally. This is bigger issues than personality now. Perhaps more of mindset now as She has lost her identity already.