*Not going to be on one kneels*


*Boom!* brings the ring out


Me:

babe, you are beautiful and I am very handsome.
You are kind, and I am most generous. You are bold and talks well. I am soft spoken but very smart. You are fresh and I paid for the creams and makeup that added the glow.

I am asking you to marry me not because you're perfect but because you good and acceptable, presentable and adorable. You are sweet and passionate.

I will not promise you faithfulness because it not in my powers. I already have a list of girls I'll cheat on you with. The list will be handed over after you say yes to my proposal. Like I said , I will not promise you faithfulness but I can promise you complete honesty. The very reason I'll give you that list after this.

I expect you to stay during the good times, but it will be selfish of me to expect you to stay when times ain't as good. I expect you to be free and do what ever you wish to do.

The world system has painted marriage to be a prison but I offer you liberty, joy and fulfillment.

*call her by name*

Will you marry me?

*then wait for her reply*


Do you think she will say YES?

...and then your Mum will give you a resounding slap for urinating on the bed, and then you'll wake up