lallafati:

She is definitely materialistic. If you are in a committed relationship, you really don't accept gifts from a person of the opposite gender unless the person is family or a good friend which your boyfriend/fiance knows, trusts and approves of.  Now you might not want to be taken as rude the first time, but if I ever accepted something from a guy friend which my boyfriend/fiance knows nothing about, I would return it asap in a respectful manner explaining why "I didn't want to sound rude, but although it is appreciated I can't accept this". Do you know the guy? Does she talk to you about him? Does he know her family? How would she feel if you started accepting several gifts including a phone from a woman Why is she even still accepting gifts from a man who is no family to her and whom you don't know? I really don't get girls these days.  So all of this started coz she got a new job? I would be you I would be careful, very careful about by next move. I suggest you keep observing how she behaves. If you go ahead and marry her, what would happen if she become successful professionally or financially, or even more successful than you? If you can't trust her in little things, I doubt you would be able to in bigger things.

stechi:

u have really said my mind. I got furious with her over the fone when she told me about the gift and all she could tell me was ", what if she had lied to me that she bought it herself, why am I getting mad over a  gift from just a friend?, ".

Previous gifts given to her by this same guy never attracted any hostile reaction because I just intended to watch what was really going on. Personally, I have had cause to allow her scare off female folks that tend to wanna impose themselves on me despite their knowledge about my "fiancee".

stechi:

My fiancee have been receiving gifts from a male friend of hers for quite a while and recently she misplaced her phone and while I am planning to get her a new phone, I was surprised when she called me and told me that same male friend of hers just got her a new phone. So disturbing as it may be to me, I demanded to know what is really going on between her and this male friend of hers and her answer is as good as yours(reader) that -NOTHING INTIMATE.

I had a deep thought over the whole issue and concluded within me to allow things unfold for itself because it is her personal choice to decide who to be with afterall God knows I love her so much (not verbally but practically) which she can testify to (if she can be truthful).

Lately, her attitude has really changed differently from what she was when we started and personally, I might attribute it to change on location and her new job.Hence, being materialistic might be where she is aiming at or is it the guy that is desperate in having her as his.

I am about taking a tough decision because I am such that don't allow emotional issues to becloud my focus in life.

What decision do NL's think I should take?

stechi:

My fiancee have been receiving gifts from a male friend of hers for quite a while and recently she misplaced her phone and while I am planning to get her a new phone, I was surprised when she called me and told me that same male friend of hers just got her a new phone. So disturbing as it may be to me, I demanded to know what is really going on between her and this male friend of hers and her answer is as good as yours(reader) that -NOTHING INTIMATE.

I had a deep thought over the whole issue and concluded within me to allow things unfold for itself because it is her personal choice to decide who to be with afterall God knows I love her so much (not verbally but practically) which she can testify to (if she can be truthful).

Lately, her attitude has really changed differently from what she was when we started and personally, I might attribute it to change on location and her new job.Hence, being materialistic might be where she is aiming at or is it the guy that is desperate in having her as his.

I am about taking a tough decision because I am such that don't allow emotional issues to becloud my focus in life.

What decision do NL's think I should take?

na2day?:

^^^^ the good doctor is in the house

jenibayo:


Baby i be think say u wan go sleep oo abi u don wake u! wetin time for there.

ladi02:

My advice is you talk to her about it and let her understand how wrong it is, if it continues then im sorry she will rather be with the friend, then the big decision should come then, but have a detailed discussion with her
GL

that was exactly what I did yesterday after watching a movie together at the cinema and she requested i Bluetooth a picture i snapped with my phone to hers and I blatantly reproached her not to show me that phone much more asking me to do anything with that phone for her. Then we headed to the beach after she became annoyed at my response,threatened to boycott our plan to unwind at the beach but I had to persuade her maturedly.There, we had a "heart-to-heart" discussion.
RESULT? she called the guy and informed him of returning the phone back to him the next day.

tai2 link=topic=425107.msg5836119#msg5836119 date=1270501651:

Typical attitude of a mugu, blaming another man for his misfortune when it is 200% clear that the woman is to blame. Your problem is that you never had true control over your woman in the first place, now she has found a young man with money control and she's misbehaving.

"He's just a friend" is the regular answer they give to mugu's. Of course, he's just a friend, you're the mugu. After all na from clap them they take start dance. The next thing you know she's finding a fault with every single thing you do and Mr. Friend will be the only one with a solution and kind words until she falls into his bed if she hasn't already. The grass is always greener on the other side. A woman will stay with a serial murderer and rapist and call him "Angel" if he has true control. If he has no control, is good to a fault and looks like Denzel Washington she'll call him a "monster" in the long run anyway.

You've been had my man, the smartest thing to do is to dump the broad with immediate effect. There's no time for nonsense. If you start accepting sh*it in your home, don't expect the flies to stay outside. She's clearly enamored with the money control the new player has to offer and if you don't extract yourself from the situation, her enamored conscience will find a way to blame you for every single damn thing until she convinces herself that the new guy is the best thing for her. You're unnecessary cargo at the moment, deadweight, a stumbling stone.

Leave her for the other guy. Let her scratch that itch that's bothering her else you're going to find yourself in a worse situation than you are now and a bigger mugu than you could be. Be wise brother be wise. As an eye-opener I advise you read the following thread to know what is at stake here:

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-396243.0.html

In the long run if you've been a good guy, her eyes should open and she'll come crying when it's all 'clear' to her and Mr. Friend gets tired of her. At that time, shine her 'pu*ssy' like a p0rn star and dump her the next day again. Your mama didn't raise no fool, shed the title of 'mugu' and open your eyes. Life is too short to play second fiddle to men of true control, become one yourself.

your warning advice is noted,thanks.

ladi02:

My advice is you talk to her about it and let her understand how wrong it is, if it continues then im sorry she will rather be with the friend, then the big decision should come then, but have a detailed discussion with her
GL

that was exactly what I did yesterday after watching a movie together at the cinema and she requested i Bluetooth a picture i snapped with my phone to hers and I blatantly reproached her not to show me that phone much more asking me to do anything with that phone for her. Then we headed to the beach after she became annoyed at my response,threatened to boycott our plan to unwind at the beach but I had to persuade her maturedly.There, we had a "heart-to-heart" discussion.