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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. (22691 Views)
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How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by chineji(m): 11:09am On Dec 28, 2017 |
Summary: Having been married to a former carousel rider in my Blue Pill beta days, I thought I'd share some insight on how to identify former carousellers looking for a provider for those wanting an LTR. Considerations will also be made for men already in relationships with such women. This is a complementary essay to Rollo's Saving the Best. Body: A common scenario the Blue Pill beta male faces (assuming he's at least average-looking and has a stable career), is he meets a 30-something beauty who gives him more attention than other women. She's very open to him, initiates often, and she's so easy to date he doesn't have to put forth much effort for her to respond positively. Because he lacks a sex life and social interaction with women in general, meeting her is like finding an oasis in the desert. But he's unaware that the most common sexual strategyof the attractive woman is to ride a carousel of cocks in the prime of her youth, and then secure a beta providersuch as himself when she's post-wall. Signs that a woman might be a former carousel rider looking for a provider: She's a 7 or higher in looks. She's around 30 years of age or older. She shows signs of slutty behavior. The major ones are she has visible tattoos, dyed hair and unusual piercings; she's on birth control; she likes talking about sex and reacts positively to sexual innuendos; she has daddy issues; she has the"thousand cock stare". She attended college. She's a single mom with some of the other traits listed here. She asks "Where have all the good men gone?". She says she's "tired of the games", or she's "tired of jerks and players trying to get into her pants", and that she wants a "mature man" for a serious relationship. She's a try-hard. She actively pursues you, calling you often, wanting to be with you, laughing at your jokes that aren't that funny. If she knows where you live, she comes by unannounced if she hasn't seen or heard from you in a few days. And keenly aware as a prostitute that men love sex, she makes herself easy to get into bed. The key here is that she puts forth most of the effort, with you doing little in return. Be sure to verify other carousel signs to distinguish between a woman who's genuinely attracted to you, and a woman who just wants provision. She feels the need to confess her sexual history to you. Sometimes the confession is out of the blue, sort of like "I need to get something off my chest" to give her plausible deniability in case you hold it against her in the future (She confessed her slutty behavior and you stayed anyway). Other times it's her need to reminisce the good old days. But a good way to get her to open up about her past is to talk about your sexual past as if it was no big deal (public places you've had sex, kinky things you've done, how fun it was, etc.). If she feels you won't judge her, former carousel riders light up at the opportunity to talk about who and what they've done. Now, she generally won't reveal her sexual history while you're dating and she's attempting to marry you, but she'll be more open about it after marriage when she has legal access to your resources. Just don't fall for the"I've only known one man who was my boyfriend"line. She will guilt-trip you into marriage within months of the relationship. When you first start dating and tell her upfront that you're not interested in marriage, she will be okay with the idea initially. But after some time she'll say things like "My parents don't like the idea of us being together for so long unmarried," or "It's against my religion/personal beliefs for us to have sex unmarried," or "I feel like I'm being used and I don't want to play games, I want someone who's serious", or "My biological clock is ticking", or "Don't you love me?" She doesn't enjoy the role of homemaker. She doesn't like to cook or clean, and isn't very good at it. She lived such a hedonistic lifestyle in her prime with friendzoned betas at her beck and call, that being of service to someone other than herself is unappealing. She'd rather lay around watching TV all day. She's closed off in the bedroom. When you first start dating she's easy to have sex with and many times she'll initiate (to get you hooked), but aftermarriage she shuts down. She's sexually prudish and not as enthusiastic in bed as she once was, and sex feels more like a chore and stress-reliever than something fun. Signs that a man is being used mostly for his resources by a former carouseller (I've been guilty of many of these): His behavior is beta. He's always showering her with attention, doing whatever she wants on a whim, being servile and supplicating, but she thinks it's "romantic" and appears appreciative, at least prior to marriage. To my bias, beta behavior is the #1 cause for ending up with a selfish, uncooperative, unsubmissive woman, and what helps makes her manipulation of him easier. He's physically unattractive, but she knows he has resources. He's short, skinny, fat, unmuscular, etc. but he makes a good living, especially in the STEM fields. Her asking "So what do you do for a living?" is her way of determining if he's someone capable of providing for her. Of course, having good looks and a good job only raises his value, but if he's not all that good-looking and she's stillinterested, it's for his resources. He's early to mid-20s. Though he prefers younger women (who aren't interested in dating him), he rationalizes dating an older woman by assuming she's mature and experienced and therefore should play her role in the relationship much more efficiently than someone younger. But I also think older, desperate women target younger men because they're generally more naive about how women operate and therefore easier to seduce and manipulate than older men (though older men aren't exempt of course). He's Captain Save-A-Ho. He's with her primarily because of some "problem" he thinks she needs rescuing from. He wants to see himself as the hero who "saves" her from loneliness, or poor living conditions, or her fatherless child. He thinks his noble act will make her more appreciative and committed to him, forgetting the corollaries inBriffault's Law. He only has vanilla sex. In keeping with his Nice Guy personality, when the beta male has sex with a woman, he doesn't Bleep her with any sense of dominance, he "makes love" to her. Maybe such a strategy is appropriate if she recently had a traumatic experience such as losing a loved one. But if the porn industry and 50 Shades of Grey hysteria is any indication, women much preferdominance and rough sex to love-making. This is why the Red Pill emphasizes lifting and alpha behavior. Because once a woman has been bleeped by enough cocks, especially good ones, her ability to stay with one man long term isdiminished because she judges her current partner by her carousel years. Good cock is like an addictive drug to women, and if her current partner is not giving her the feels that Chad did, she will cheat or leave. There's no genuine emotional connection between the two, and she doesn't care. She's not genuinely happy to see him when he comes home from work, and she's not particularly upbeat (not that she's necessarily moody, just indifferenttowards him). They don't have shared interests or social interplay such as cracking witty jokes with each other on the fly, or some light-hearted horseplay. The relationship feels so effortful that they need a lot of outside influences (dining out, going to a movie, and other 'outings') to compensate for a boring relationship as opposed to using those things to compliment an already good thing. But she doesn't care about bonding with him because she never wanted anything more from him than his resources. Whereas the beta male is stimulated by being subservient to her, her stimulation comes from eating, sleeping, shopping, and cheating. He's good father-figure/emotional support. "Resources" is not limited to money, food or shelter. Many single-moms want a father-figure for their children. For post-wall women, the provision they look for in a beta male is the same provision they enjoyed from the men they friendzoned: attention and validation; from a male servant around the house who flatters her like a princess and serves as her emotional tampon. Being post-wall and no longer attractive to Chad, she wants someone to tell her she's still desirable. The servile nature of the beta-male makes him qualified to fulfill these roles. He's desperate for a woman. Loneliness and a lack of women willing to date him has been so prevalent in his life, that when a pretty women shows him some attention, he's willing to forego the carousel signs just so he can have some companionship. This makes her efforts to exploit him that much easier. The takeaway from this is that being a beta-provider is like being friendzoned with benefits. He provides her with resources/emotional support and she occasionally gives him duty-sex in return. But the sex isn't fulfilling for her as it was on the carousel because unless he's decent looking and dominant in the bedroom, she's not sexuallyattracted to him. Her settling for a beta male means she sees him as a servant rather than a lover or partner. Denial: I realize this is a sensitive topic for men already in LTRs because it puts a spotlight on their current partner, and if perchance several of the carousel signs checks out for her, they may go through some measure of denial. I want to address this denial now. Keep in mind this is coming from someone who married and provided for a former carousel rider: There is a segment of men in the manosphere who give carousel riders the benefit of the doubt by believing that even though she rode the carousel, she simply made a mistake in her sexual behavior that she wasn't aware of until she approached the Wall. That at some point she"came to her senses" and realized the jerks and players she was fucking weren't good relationship material, that she was never empowered by giving herself away for free, and now her seeking a "good man" is evidence of her remorse and repentance. But assuming she started riding the carousel at say, 18, isn't it odd that it took her roughly 10 years to come to this realization, which just so happened to coincide afterall the jerks and players no longer wanted her? But let us recall the young carouseller's remark in Michael's storywhen he confronted her about her slutty behavior: “Michael let me tell you something: not only am I going to have my cake eat it and eat it too. I’m going to have it with ice cream and sprinkles” A woman's carousel years has nothing to do with finding a "good man" for long-term commitment and everythingto do with hedonism, which feminists have been pushing for decades. And the most telling evidence of this behavior is her lamenting "Where have all the good men gone?". To ask about these men after she's post-wall suggests they were available in her prime, but she wasn't interested in them at the time. She was far more interested in riding the carousel. The man who holds the "good girl who made a mistake" perspective is usually in an LTR and wants to believe that the woman he's with is a Good Girl Gina who has a low N-count and loves him for his personality. In the face of Red Pill awareness of the cock carousel (examples hereand here), he doesn't want to consider that his partner might have been a deliberate carousel rider who plannedher sexual and provider strategy from the start, because it would make him the recipient of used-up goods. YaReally offers a similar perspective. The fact they've been rejecting decent men who gave a damn about them for jerks and players since high school shows these women know exactly what they're doing, and they're even encouraged by feminists. Anger: Once the beta-male realizes the woman he's providing for had a slutty past, he usually goes through some measure of anger. He's disillusioned that she isn't the "good girl" he expected. And considering his friendzoned days with her former desirability, he realizes that he's married to the very woman who would have friendzoned or rejected him in her prime, making him a living example that "Nice Guys finish last." And for many men there's the additional element of jealousy: It's not so much that she was promiscuous that frustrates him, but that he couldn't enjoy that sort of sex life for himself. For years he's tried to unlock the secret to getting laid like a playboy to no avail. But then comes along his LTR who tells him tales of her wonderful adventures at DisneyCocks Theme Park, the park to which he was denied employment. From his perspective, her reminiscing about her abundant sex life is like saying "Ha ha, look at all the fun I had that you never could!". And then for her hold back in the bedroom is a slap to the face; she was slutty for the men she hooked up with, but not for the man who provides for her. Conclusion: If for much of your adult life you could barely get women to look in your direction, and all of a sudden this attractive 30-something is giving you lots of attention, putting forth the effort to be with you, and giving up the pussy without you doing much for her in return, it's a sign she wants you to be her provider, not because she thinks you're hot or loves your personality. The purpose of the carousel signs is to be aware that women who rode the carousel generally don't make good long-term partners because they're self-serving, disrespectful, unappreciative, they aren't good homemakers, and they aren't committed. Just like her relationships with friendzoned men, she will come in wanting the LTR to be all about her like a pampered baby. For men already in LTRs with older attractive women, one of the greatest tests of Red Pill maturity is honestlyacknowledging that one's wife or girlfriend was likely aslut in her prime. I understand many men new to this information have children and financial constraints preventing them from making an easy exit from the relationship if her sexual history is a deal breaker. But I suggest at least assessing her current behavior to ensure she at least contributes to the relationship in ways that serve you, while also resolving any counter-productive behaviors in yourself that makes her uncooperative in the relationship, and unenthusiastic in the bedroom (see here and here). Because the benefit of acknowledging her slutty past is it minimizes attachment and dependency on your perceived "goodness" of her for your happiness. This detachment makes it easier spot deception and manipulation, it reduces beta behavior, and it's easier to not put up with her bullshit and ultimately work towards getting what you want from the relationship because you no longer think the world of her. 39 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by chineji(m): 11:09am On Dec 28, 2017 |
1 Like 1 Share |
Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by Nobody: 11:45am On Dec 28, 2017 |
great write up |
Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by stinkmeaner: 11:58am On Dec 28, 2017 |
He's Captain Save-A-Ho My Gooodddddd!!!! 21 Likes
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Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by freshkpomo(m): 12:02pm On Dec 28, 2017 |
this guy deserves a medal: 13 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by tensazangetsu20(m): 12:25pm On Dec 28, 2017 |
Ubunja o 2 Likes |
Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by ubunja(m): 12:52pm On Dec 28, 2017 |
these are the threads women run away from. zero female comments. not even a denial. my brothers truth is served.eat up. 32 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by Adasun(m): 12:54pm On Dec 28, 2017 |
Painful truth for da females. 1 Like |
Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by tensazangetsu20(m): 12:59pm On Dec 28, 2017 |
ubunja:As in where's that nigga hardon. |
Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by Mhissgaga(f): 1:26pm On Dec 28, 2017 |
Rubbish 1 Like |
Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by Nobody: 1:31pm On Dec 28, 2017 |
Mhissgaga:why are you pained this way? are you a slut? 30 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by ibkayee(f): 1:37pm On Dec 28, 2017 |
Sounds like the guy in the write-up would've engaged in the same thing if he'd actually had the opportunity to be honest, nevertheless I understand not wanting to feel used/manipulated, I wasn't good enough for you then but now that you want to settle down I have your attention. Men do the same thing, sleep around recklessly and then start looking for chaste virgins once they're ready to settle down, it's a phase a lot of young people go through in general. I understand not wanting to be with a woman with a promiscuous past if you haven't either but if you engaged in the same type of behaviour you have no right to judge. 11 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by Nobody: 1:39pm On Dec 28, 2017 |
ibkayee: Ehen. Ok 3 Likes |
Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by ReinaFarine: 1:47pm On Dec 28, 2017 |
I can spot two trans pretending to be women but... Its all good. If you're dating a woman who by op's illustration, can't cook or clean and offers nothing more than sex. Especially a matured lady in her thirties that already has a kid outside wedlock and is not doing anything to support that child, but is eager to jump into marriage with the first millionaire that smiles in her direction without any iota of distrust for men especially since she's been abandoned by baby daddy 1. Then you get what you want. When you're looking for a woman that is a seven in looks but a two in character, carry your matter and go. . FSOG became popular not because that what every woman wants but its unconventionality and the ability of E. L. James to write that explanation of BDSM in literature without making it smut. But guys will not understand that. What works fr Anastasia Steele might not work for Elizabeth Bennett and if you can't understand that you'll be deluding yourself into thinking you're an expert lover when what you do completely repulses your woman. 4 Likes |
Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by Nobody: 1:52pm On Dec 28, 2017 |
Who can summarise for me? too long 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by ABBkelvin(m): 1:54pm On Dec 28, 2017 |
Haaaaaa |
Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by ubunja(m): 2:12pm On Dec 28, 2017 |
ibkayee: Mhissgaga: ReinaFarine: not even one guy is buying this. the only people in agreement are ladies. and their agreement means zero coz u are not even lesbians and u will never marry another woman. as long as u expect to marry a man you are screwed.men are waking up. 13 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by VERDA: 2:14pm On Dec 28, 2017 |
Mhissgaga: Lol.... |
Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by Macgreat(m): 2:16pm On Dec 28, 2017 |
MensesDoctor: Doctor, helep me ask ham Oo. A lot of them on this forum 3 Likes |
Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by ibkayee(f): 2:20pm On Dec 28, 2017 |
ubunja:I understand some of the points OP made, I'm pointing out that men do it too, lol what's not to buy? |
Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by ubunja(m): 2:26pm On Dec 28, 2017 |
ibkayee:men do it YES but with men "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" men dont bring home saggy boobs, borehole pvssy and fatherless kids after a season of whorin. we come out of it still the same.plus a little more experienced sexually. thats the Gazillion Dollar point women refuse to internalize. 33 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by tensazangetsu20(m): 2:26pm On Dec 28, 2017 |
ibkayee:If a man does it he's a stud if a woman does it she's a hoe. It's double standards and women just have to accept and live with it. 7 Likes |
Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by Mhissgaga(f): 2:32pm On Dec 28, 2017 |
Macgreat: I am not pained Men that are usually too careful are the ones that fall into the hands of slutty women because they are always looking for signs here and there OP your write up is trash You can find all the points you listed in men too or you think it's only women that have loose sexual morals |
Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by Macgreat(m): 2:37pm On Dec 28, 2017 |
Mhissgaga: Hmm. You have a point |
Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by ReinaFarine: 3:01pm On Dec 28, 2017 |
ubunja: Darling, if at my age, and out of all the men in this world, I decided to pick the one with browning singlet, and vulgar uncouth language, that drops little sexist remark and ass smack after every sentence in his mouth and role model is either Davido or Wizkid. Future plan revolves around having a power bike, or want to be an upcoming musician, invests in boots and hi tops rather than the future, is contented with renting a room in a lowly part of the society in order to afford is extravagant and childish lifestyle, will rather watch porn than an educative documentary and will always pick a hip hop concert over important open business lecture. A man that spends 40% of his saving on drinking and social vices doesn't have any regard for his parents and family members because he is the it thing in the social media, Then I deserve a good for nothing wife beating cheating and wasteful piece of shit scum. And since I chose that with my eyes wide opened, I am not allowed to come and castigate the rest of the hard working and decent guys in the society. I chose base on the physical today rather than the intangible future. If you pick a slay Queen on insta, a baby mama over obsessed with sex, a seven in physical looks that don't know how to cook jellof rice, a .other that never considered her kid during decision making, then you have exactly what your looking for. 6 Likes |
Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by ubunja(m): 3:08pm On Dec 28, 2017 |
ReinaFarine:LOOOL you can pick any guy you want yet you are on the internet debating on threads? if you could get the lifestyle you dream of with the beauty you think you have then what are you doing on the internet? 11 Likes |
Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by datfreshdoc(m): 3:11pm On Dec 28, 2017 |
freshkpomo:make that 2 medals.... Lol 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by Archangel15: 3:13pm On Dec 28, 2017 |
Mhissgaga: So because the signs could be found in men makes the writeup trash? 4 Likes |
Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by ubunja(m): 3:14pm On Dec 28, 2017 |
Mhissgaga:u keep saying men can be sluts too but the last time i checked only women got pregnant out of slutting and got the whole saggy boobs,borehole pvssy thing. u really need a better arguement.coz no guy who is a 10 will look at a single mother with boobs that sag to the floor. lets keep it real. even successful men divorce their first wives in favour of hot young things. to count on a succeesful man actually doing the opposite and hooking up with Damaged Goods is too much on the reckless side. 10 Likes |
Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by ReinaFarine: 3:18pm On Dec 28, 2017 |
ubunja: Please read my post again honey... I didn't say I can pick any guy I want. I'm saying I'll not pick an obvious good for nothing street thug and expect the good 9-5 job decent husband and responsible father to my kid. And haven't you heard? I am ugly. Ask iamj he'll tell you. But the kind of man that I want, loves me just as I am... I am here to laugh oh! Abi is this a dating site that I wasn't aware of? 3 Likes |
Re: How To Identify An Ex Slut For Guys About To Get Married. by ReinaFarine: 3:20pm On Dec 28, 2017 |
ubunja: Please read my post again honey... I didn't say I can pick any guy I want. I'm saying I'll not pick an obvious good for nothing street thug and expect the good 9-5 job decent husband and responsible father to my kid. And haven't you heard? I am ugly. Ask iamj he'll tell you. So I'm getting the life style I dream of with my brain... Shocking... A woman has one. But the kind of man that I want, loves me just as I am... I am here to laugh oh! Abi is this a dating site that I wasn't aware of? |
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