Some problems such as past unfinished business, desperation or the need for love can lead to wrong choices. But so many people don't have any of those problems yet still fall the wrong person and this is why i decided to write an article to explain the reason behind that phenomenon. Love is the feelings we get when our brains believe that we found someone who can help us satisfy our most important needs.

The reason this correct definition doesn't appeal to some people is that it goes against what they saw in Twilight, what they read about in Romeo and Juliet and what they heard in romantic songs . As those forces combined worked on changing our beliefs about love we started to think of love in a way that usually leads to the wrong choices. Let's suppose you took the definition of love from a song , that matches what you really want to hear, instead of science.

In such a case as soon as you meet someone and experience some butterflies you will think that this person is the one and that he is your soulmate forgetting that he might be a totally incorrect match.

After sometime the butterflies will fade, the chemicals will stop being produced and you will find yourself facing the fact of being with someone who doesn't really match your needs.

The right partner for you is the one who can help you satisfy your important long term needs and not your short term bursts of emotions. And this is why the process of choosing the right person must begin with finding out your important core needs.

But there is a trick here. Don't ever confuse long term needs with short term ones. If you don't have self confidence then you might need to be around a confident and assertive person but if one day you built confidence then this need will go away.

Love can sometimes disappear because a person picked a partner based on short term needs that no longer exist.

Once you write down your needs you need to consciously control your desires by moving yourself away from the people you are attracted to if they don't meet your long term needs.

Our subconscious minds force our bodies to release certain chemicals that makes us feel happy when it believes that it found the right match for us. But there is a very big problem with that approach which is that the subconscious mind can make so many mistakes during the selection process and thus send you those feelings even though the person is a horrible long term match.

In other words without a proper level of conscious control you will easily give in to your desires and you might fall in love with the wrong person. It all begins by self understanding. Next comes self discipline which can help you make the right choices without being affected much by emotions.

Source: https://web.facebook.com/forum9ja/posts/1715144588547334