What about reciepts? are we supposed to carry laptop receipts ? A policeman once stopped my car to ask for the receipts of the laptop, My handset was even more costly than the laptop. It was not a small thing. I had to settle. I thought its a personal gadget like my PDA

The Police in Ikotun are always ruthless because they are always after extortion of money from the fraudsters and they wouldn't mind check for proper things and such thing-they don't fancy. Anyway, that's their way of life in Ikotun. I was arrested with my laptop in my arm while I was on my way to school. I got delayed but at the end I was cursed that I was a poor person. They should be checked over there, They are not worthy of being a Federal republic of Nigeria Police.

OK. I drive an End of Discussion 2005 [/b]and I have had several encounters with this IDIOTS but this particular one made my day, LOL. On a very good Monday like that, I was driving through the tunnel from Berger into Isheri to connect Lagos-Ibadan Exp. way,  this guy in mufti with a bulletproof from a gang of others, stopped me and as I parked ([b]1st thing you should do  - I didnt stop where he wanted me to, I drove a little further to make him walk so I can compose myself), *another thing* I wined down my passenger's window a bit to enable his eyes only into the car) here is the conversation,

ME: Good morning, Officer.
GUY: Morning, Sir.
ME: How can I help you? (This already gave him an Impression)
GUY: Your driver's license,  (I gave it to him)
GUY: Your particulars, 
ME: My driver's license please? (One thing you should learn if you drive, always collect whatever you gave a Policeman first before giving him another. So, I collected my Driver's License while I am sitted in the car and gave him my Particulars, )
GUY: Your boot,  (He asked to check my boot so he can see how I am dressed and make his conclusions (I guess) I came down and walked to the Boot. (I was putting on a Shirt and  Jean with a pair of Leather Slippers,  So I did and opened up the trunk, 

NOW AFTER ALL THE NORMAL THINGS HE IS ASSIGNED TO ASK, ILLEGAL QUESTIONS STARTS:
GUY: Where do you work? (NOTE: No more Sir, )
ME: I am a Graduate.
GUY: Can I know you more?
ME: What would you like to know? I am (I told him my name), I am a Fresh Graduate of Babcock University, Estate Management and I just came back from Canada because of my Youth Service.
GUY: What do you do?
ME: I just told you I am a GRADUATE!!!
GUY: Who is the Owner of the Car?
ME: Mine.
GUY: What do you do?
ME: I just told you I AM A GRADUATE!! I dont work and dont intend to!!
(He is confused,  1. Because he is not used to having a conversation in English only pidgin,  2. He is surprised I am on a Jean and a pair of Slippers on a Monday but not sounding like his BOIZ. 3. Because he doesnt know why I would be driving such a car with no income considering my age,  So I came in)
[/i]ME: Listen, Mr. Officer, this car belongs to my mom. I am her only son and automatically the car is mine because she got it for me. This is just one among several cars. I am the only one who drive this particular car,  and maybe when I am going to see my sister again at Babcock, I will be driving a Sienna, Murano or Inifiti, so mark this face incase of next time.
GUY: Oh Boy. Enter ur car make we go Station, I want to know you better.
[i](This is where my anger busted)
ME: WHAT? You want to know me more,  WHY? I am sorry, I dont want to know you MORE! And mind you, this car is not leaving this spot unless I decide otherwise. Nothing in the world would move me to your Station. So you want to arrest me? On what basis? Do I look like a criminal to you?
GUY: Wey your phones?
ME: Why do you need them?
GUY: Give me those phones before I show you who I am?
ME: OK, Good. Now I want to know who you are and I am not giving you my phones. What do you want from my phones? Is there anybody's number you want to call from it? Just tell me the name, I will dial it for you. Did you lose your phones? Or are you looking for the tint permit of my car in the phones? Whats the purpose of this search? To check for ammunition and drugs,  Does it look like what I can hide in my phones? I am sorry, this is my "CELL" phone and I am not letting anyone into it,  Not even my mom checks my phone!!
(The guy started threatening,  to HIT me so I told him and was moving so close and staring so wickedly at me)
ME: Officer, DONT DARE TOUCH ME, or you will regret this!! With the last blood in my vein, I will make sure you regret this.
(I didnt wanna do this but I just said when he stopped rambling a little)
OK: OK, Agreed. I am going to the Station with you. But I will call my mom's sub-ordinate at Bonnie Camp to send one Air Force person to stay with you so I can go where I have to go,  (Babcock) BUT you have to tell me what offense I committed so I can relay your messages to him.
GUY: Where is your mom? What does she do?
ME: I left her in Canada because I had to come for my Youth Service and she is an Air Commander at the Nigeria Air Force,  curently serving,  (Meanwhile, there is an AirForce sticker on my car) (The guy looked around a bit,  after looking for an offense to give me to call the sub-ordinate,  He couldnt find one so he handed over my particulars,  Stopped talking for a while. Turned to me and said,
[/i]GUY: You did not "CONFUSE" [i](I am sure he meant CONVINCE) me enough, but you can go!

Now, I only intimidated him and his cohorts with the supposed post of my mom. She is not the Air Force personnel,  Her younger brother is actually the Air Force personnel but I ordinarily wouldnt have called him over the phone, for such a small issue which I know I can handle,

My point here is:
1. Dont ever SPEAK Pidgin with a Policeman when stopped.
2. Be relaxed (They will instill fear by threatening you, dont buy it.)
2. Always tell them where they have boundaries as to searching.
3. Having a laptop/ phone is not a crime.
4. Always ensure you are the one asking most of the Questions,  and only reasonable questions he probably wont have answers for.

Another Police had stopped me on a Monday morning,  with my car at Omole Junction and I told him I brought my laptop from Canada, he requested for the receipt of the laptop and I got really upset. I had to just start point at things and pulling his hands to follow me and see those things. I took him to my trunk, showed him my shoes, "Do you also need the receipts for this",  They are worth more than the value of the laptop" To intimidate him further, I pointed at the belt I was wearing,  "I got this for $450 at a Store in Canada,  why arent you asking for the reciept?" I showed him my BlackBerry. "This added to my Digital Camera is worth more than the laptop and I got all of these from thesame store where I got the laptop,  Why arent you asking for their receipts?" Why are you sooo interested in the laptop?" "Is it "NOW" a crime to own a laptop in "NIGERIA"? He was silent and later started preaching,  "Police is your friend, if not for us, you cant move around,  Atleast you have been outside the country, you have seen Police all over the world" (Just a reconstruction, his English wasnt that good),  He later offered to give me his number and asked me to call him whenever I am accustomed by other sets of Police men under the AREA G (Ogba) Command,  Out of Pity, I had to use the ATM at that point and gave him 3k, willingly.

I have done this a whole lot of times and it works for me. I have only been taking to a Police Station once and thats because I couldnt find my Driver's License and on getting to the Police Station's compound, as I was shutting off my engine, I checked between a notebook I used at the Bank the previous day and found it, gave it to th office and he just started out laughing and we became friends,  meanwhile I had refuse to leave that spot as I had asked a friend of mine to quickly go home and check in another car for the license.

BUT THIS IS JUST THE COUNTRY WE ARE IN!!!