who's feeding you anything by force? I just dont care for your false propaganda. You're giving a word a definition that is totally wrong. You should expect to be corrected by others.

do you blame feminism on single parent homes caused by
death of a husband?
a husband who leaves his wife for a younger woman?
a woman who leave an abusive home?
a man who impregnates a female then runs away?
a woman who abandons the home for another man?

The world should be like my2cents' where back in the day when a woman was slapped or beaten up, she would just sit and smile instead of believing she deserved better and leaving.\

Wes jare, I tire for these people

j-girl,

Of course, cases where the man is abusive, etc are not included here. If it wasn't that intuitive, sorry about that. Divorce is caused by both sides. However, a lot of divorces, I dare say, are a result of the man "not stepping up to the plate" or because "my mom was without a man all her life, so y should I need a man myself?"

I hope this clarifies it all

my2cents:

I dare say, are a result of the man "not stepping up to the plate" or because "my mom was without a man all her life, so y should I need a man myself?"

A woman that is in love and in a happy marriage wouldnt think or even say such a thing so spare me.

jgirl what country did that rape incident happen

Thiefofhearts,

Based on your photo, you have indeed stolen my heart. Pls don't steal my words as well

Read my post above this one for my "exceptions", granted most of those "abusive (as America has so popularized)" situations are catalyzed by either the woman or the man. In other words:

[list]
[li]one person doesn't just wake up one day and decide to be abusive[/li]
[li]most women, I am sure you will admit, take advantage of the system (dial 911, say stuff like "touch me now, I will call police for you (while at the same time, she is slapping the man silly)[/li]
[/list]

babyosisi:


When terracotta finds another Igbo poetry on argungu festival,I'll learn something "new".
we have never called it a naming ceremony,we name our babies way before then so that phrase is not in the celebration.

Any Igbo person here who has attended a naming ceremony in Igboland should please tell us.

Kai--I feel like I'm picking on people today. It's not about the Argungun festival, but you can learn something "new" about Igbo naming ceremonies from "Being Proud of Igbo Names" by Chinedu Maduabum (hope you can figure out his ethnicity, if that's the only way to resolve this trivial issue):

"In Igbo land, child-naming is regarded as very important, and it is always marked by a naming ceremony otherwise known as "child naming ceremony. The name given is not randomly selected or done through some guesswork or through some research work carried out on names. Moreover the high esteem, which Igbo names command is fast deteriorating. It is indeed shameful that Ndiigbo no longer find it a necessity to answer or be proud of answering Igbo names: in schools, business sectors and in the public places, the Igbo man prefers foreign names especially English names for identification and other related purposes is what this work will critically find out. It will also examine what may be the likely cause of the abandonment and to suggest a possible way forward."

I don't dispute whether you and your people have naming ceremonies or not--I have no idea. Donzman said that he's not familiar with them either, so it is plain to see that there are some Igbos who do not have naming ceremonies. The evidence I've given you would be enough for a mature person to admit that she is wrong and that there are Igbos that do having naming ceremonies and hold them in high regard. The poetry at these ceremonies can be very beautiful, by the way. I suggest you try and attend one if/when you get a chance.

Abi o! @ TOH.

@ 2cents - i said it earlier that feminists fall in love, marry and they do give birth. Those of them that say they don't need men because of feminism are taking it to another level entirely. True feminists know what they want. The fake ones are just looking for trouble and they don't know what feminists are and these are the people i call Man-Haters. The overserious ones - Femi-nazis.

TOH - it happened here in US

Thiefofhearts,

we all know that your statement about women being "in love" is the ideal and not the real. Sure there is love, but the man only has to lose his job and not be able to pay the bills for you to start seeing the true nature of such a woman. I am sure you have seen such in your neck of the woods.

my2cents:


[list]
[li]one person doesn't just wake up one day and decide to be abusive[/li]
[li]most women, I am sure you will admit, take advantage of the system (dial 911, say stuff like "touch me now, I will call police for you (while at the same time, she is slapping the man silly)[/li]
[/list]

They dont. They just wait til you are trapped in a marriage before the true colors show.

As for the second point, you watch too many LifeTime movies.

my2cents:

Thiefofhearts,

we all know that your statement about women being "in love" is the ideal and not the real. Sure there is love, but the man only has to lose his job and not be able to pay the bills for you to start seeing the true nature of such a woman. I am sure you have seen such in your neck of the woods.

My 2cents, with all these things you're saying - i just have to ask. Who's the girl that did this to you? Not all women are the same and love is the thing that keeps couples happy with each other for a long time. It's the ideal thing for all but the real thing for some.

They don't. They just wait til you are trapped in a marriage before the true colors show.

Word up

As for the second point, you watch too many LifeTime movies.

I assume you meant this as an analogy/proverb/parable cos though I am aware of the station, in the 13+ yrs I have been abroad, I have probably watched that station for a total of 1 hour or less

my2cents:
However, a lot of divorces, I dare say, are a result of the man "not stepping up to the plate" or because "my mom was without a man all her life, so y should I need a man myself?"

I hope this clarifies it all

i don't agree with you.

cheating remains the main major reason for divorce in the west. imo.
i'll say domestic abuse too and irresponsiblity (drunkard, jobless e.t.c)

plus the fact that marriage is now idealized and doesn't serve the purpose it served when it was first formed in those ages. lol

j-girl,

fortunately none cos like bush I believe in pre-emptive action

I have unfortunately seen and read a lot of this stuff and it ain't funny. In fact, if I were to use such events to make a generalization of marriage, I probably would not be married today. Finding a good wife, especially in the diaspora, requires fasting and prayer.

Finding a good husband in the diaspora too is like 'finding needle in a sea' (i stole that quote from someone). Till today, if i go by everything i read, i won't even be answering you right now. The chances of you being hurt like that depends on how you handle yourself.

my2cents:

Thiefofhearts,

we all know that your statement about women being "in love" is the ideal and not the real. Sure there is love, but the man only has to lose his job and not be able to pay the bills for you to start seeing the true nature of such a woman. I am sure you have seen such in your neck of the woods.

what does this have to do with feminism? You dont have to be a feminist to do this to a guy. All you need is a selfish mentality.

and most wouldnt even leave the guy cos a feminist wouldnt be depending on just her husband to pay the bills anyway.  

Finding a good husband in the diaspora too is like 'finding needle in a sea'

True dat. As I always like to say, it goes both ways. You won't get any one-sided, hypocritical arguments from me.

WesleyanA:

cheating remains the main major reason for divorce in the west. imo.
i'll say domestic abuse too and irresponsiblity (drunkard, jobless e.t.c)

you dey mind them? Let them continue to make up stories.

Never knew someone divorcing over something like adultery had anything to do with feminism

Thief,

As u know (and I am sure you know, you are just trying to play it hard, for which I understand ), as in all things in life, people tend to fall for the word of the day, but then glean the bad from the good for the most part. It's human nature, thatz all. I am sure, at least from what I have read about the "mother of feminism" that her intentions were honest. In fact, if I am correct (if not, full permission to slap me ), towards the end of her life, she was sad at the state feminism was in because it wasn't what she had in mind.

Im sure she's proud as we have a female candidate for presidency

HILLARY '08

feminism really sucks!!
"women obey your husbands!! "men love your wife". isnt that just like heaven for men and women?

who's feeding you anything by force? I just don't care for your false propaganda. You're giving a word a definition that is totally wrong. You should expect to be corrected by others.

Thiefofheart
smile! oh darling flase propaganda!! who? where? how? all i did was post my own little opinion on a topic and you took it as your responsibility to be rude and just call what i and 2cent say ''clueless'' lol and you still can't seem to understand that we will all have our own views, i do not follow a crowd sweetie. I suggest you dont either, find your own self , you probably think it is cool to say you have feminist views, well all i can say to that is live a little, get some years under you then we can discuss in a few years just where feministic views got you( dont worry i have been there too, i used to think abit like that when i did not have the responsibility of a family resting on my shoulders). I will always accept correction(in my real life), but not on a public forum when the person on the other end could still be in nappies.
lol. Again engage me with discuss, try not to be so brash and defensive, aint we doing it for sisterhood?

you got me laughing 2cents with the last one.
So there are feminist on the board lol. Well can i ask a question? how many are over 25yrs and have been married or married here please? please answer because it leads to my point and next question. Thanks lol

sisimose, read this article to get a better understanding of what feminism is about

http://www.thelizlibrary.org/liz/reconciling.htm

a lot of people seem to have this misconception about feminism that it consist of a bunch of man hating anti marriage women.
there are thousands of feminists who are married and mothers.

"It is a mistake for anyone, man or woman, to buy into the media and cultural propaganda that would lump as "feminists," only those women who are not interested in marriage and motherhood."
http://www.thelizlibrary.org/liz/reconciling.htm (same link)


again, there's a difference between feminists and "femi-nazis" (as TOH will say)

wesleyana
smile!
thanks for this link, i didn't expect to see anything new, i already know what feminism entails. I think it is highly misguided notion that the sexes can and should be equal, even without the presence of political policies covering or protecting these so called rights, i still find that inequality will rear its head in relationships between men and women whether married or otherwise. Anyone under the illusion that there is equality is highly delusional and anyone trying to force an unnatural equality(as i see it) is flogging a very dead horse.  No i do not believe many(some may get it right ) women who say they are feminist actually function in the home situation to their natural capacity. It is all hard work and unnecessary headache as far as i am concerned

this is what i read on that link you kindly posted, i picked this bit, because the thing was too long

Feminism stands for full equality and choices for ALL women.  While some individuals sometimes might be misguided about how to accomplish that (or are falling into, as we all can at times, an egocentric perspective regarding what's good for their own individual circumstances), those who are anti-feminist are not moved at all by the purpose of full freedoms and choices and empowerment of ALL women, whether single or married, mother or childless, young or old, lesbian or straight, employed outside the home or not, believer or nonbeliever, member of one's own culture or country or not,   That makes all the difference, and it's also the way you can tell the difference

I highlighted the bit where it says full equality and i am sorry to say, that is not a natural expectation, it can be achieved to an extent but at what cost?

It's a pity Sisimose is the only realistic person on here. For a family to function, there has got to be clear leader/head of the family. It's that simple, due to evolutionary pressures, men have developed the physical strength/ability to lead a family unit, all you gotta do is recognize. There's a reason men are bigger/stronger than women on average!

Anyone under the illusion that there is equality is highly delusional and anyone trying to force an unnatural equality(as i see it) is flogging a very dead horse. No i do not believe many(some may get it right ) women who say they are feminist actually function in the home situation to their natural capacity. It is all hard work and unnecessary headache as far as i am concerned

I personally believe in equality. such thing exists and it's not an illusion.


again, if you read the quote, media and propaganda have distorted the definition of feminism.
we live in a highly patriarchical world and feminism is pretty much a belief and advocacy of social, economical and political equality of the sexes. as long as you hold the belief, you're a feminist. IMO, many women have that belief married and unmarried.

I'll compare it to being a democrat or republican. I personally am a democrat but does that mean i do hard work and pursue democratic policies and goals ferverently, become a politician and all that? NO. just agreeing with democratic principles makes me a democrat.

so i don't get your point on feminists not being able to function in family situation.

the women who started the feminism movements were married with kids.
a lot of feminists today are married.

If you read a portion of the link that says that there are many women who turned feminists just after they got divorced because they needed support.
they didn't get divorce because they were feminists. they turned feminists because they got a divorce.
now i'm not saying all divorced women are feminists or all divorced women turn feminist. I'm just trying to apply that maybe these women didn't have the believe that women deserve equality but later on, they advocated it.

unnecessary headache as far as i am concerned

you're not a feminist. It would be an unnecessary headhache to advocate what you don't believe in.

for those who believe in it, it's not an unnecessary headache. they're doing it for themselves
i don't see how battling for female rights to vote, publish books, play sports, get professional jobs, head churches, influence govt, choose e.t.c are unnecessary.

I'm feminist because i advocate social, political, and ecomonic equality of the sexes.

Donzman:

It's a pity Sisimose is the only realistic person on here. For a family to function, there has got to be clear leader/head of the family. It's that simple, due to evolutionary pressures, men have developed the physical strength/ability to lead a family unit, all you gotta do is recognize. There's a reason men are bigger/stronger than women on average!

maybe the definition of "family" is about to change

husbands and wives were "partners" i thought. not employer and employee

men have developed the physical strength/ability to lead a family unit, all you gotta do is recognize. There's a reason men are bigger/stronger than women on average!

skinny men shouldn't plan to get married then. do they still qualify to be the "head"

lol Donzman you want people to recognise? be careful before your head goes as entertainment for our feminists

i like how we all have our own opinions. I stick with mine.What i will give to look into the the lives of people, not everyone writing long thesis on the subject of feminism are actually practicing what they preach.

WesleyanA:

maybe the definition of "family" is about to change

husbands and wives were "partners" i thought. not employer and employee

skinny men shouldn't plan to get married then. do they still qualify to be the "head"

who said employer and employess weren't partners ? . you kidding? do we want o get into socio - economic?

what is the thing about skinny men? what has that got to do with anything? lets get things into perspective.

First off, AVERAGE is the keyword there and even at that, being skinny/fat has nothing to do with it.

WesleyanA:

maybe the definition of "family" is about to change

husbands and wives were "partners" i thought. not employer and employee

skinny men shouldn't plan to get married then. do they still qualify to be the "head"

Yeah they're partners but in every partnership, there's that one partner who leads and has the ultimate say after all the negotiations are said and done. Men are the natural leaders/heads of the family, if for nothing but their physical and mental attributes. You do not want the head of your family crying and breaking down emotionally anytime the boat is rocking. . .Do you?

It's a pity lots of sissy men are being produced nowadays, messes up my whole argument but my point is clear. In every relationship, there has to be a leader, men are the natural leaders in a family. Women often do most of the work and are the ones who hold a family unit together ultimately. That is why I do not like feminists, women are the root of any family and when the woman refuses to act as the family glue that holds everything together, the family breaks down. There you go, feminists are responsible for the breakdown in family all over the globe, BLAME THEM!

Men are the natural leaders/heads of the family, if for nothing but their physical and mental attributes.]Men are the natural leaders/heads of the family, if for nothing but their physical and mental attributes.

again, what happens to the skinny ones and the ones without the physical attributes?

are you implying that men are smarter than women, have bigger brains e.t.c lmao.( it's possible. that theory was used to justify why whites were performing better than blacks)

and by "natural" i'm assuming you mean that "they have always been" and not necesarily "they were born to be leaders"
because there are families where the woman is in charge (either because she makes more money, strong-willed e.t.c) how's this unnatural?

so, by "natural", i'll assume that you mean "status quo"

what's funny is we women cry for more emotional men, blah blah , yet when we get it, we cry to our family and friends that we want strong leading men,besides while the feminist are breaking down the gender structures in the work place etc, do they ask or wonder who the men go home to? all broken and forced to assume an unnatural role. Answer is another woman like them lol . There is more , so much more to this interesting topic so i leave it here.

You made me laugh Donzman.
I know i must sound strange to some women, but it is not strange, many women are now running back to traditional values , because the rights they fight for in the work place etc are not so pretty anymore. Check this out. My sister and her husband were doing modern family , she is feminist . She had their baby . they had a crazy idea to have him stay home because she earns a whole heap more than him, she went straight to work after my nephew was born. She had a break down from stress and depression because she felt guilty and sad that she should be home with her baby. It's not worth it sometimes. Let men play their role, that is how mama did it

Donzman:

First off, AVERAGE is the keyword there and even at that, being skinny/fat has nothing to do with it.

Yeah they're partners but in every partnership, there's that one partner who leads and has the ultimate say after all the negotiations are said and done. Men are the natural leaders/heads of the family, if for nothing but their physical and mental attributes. You do not want the head of your family crying and breaking down emotionally anytime the boat is rocking. . .Do you?

It's a pity lots of sissy men are being produced nowadays, messes up my whole argument but my point is clear. In every relationship, there has to be a leader, men are the natural leaders in a family. Women often do most of the work and are the ones who hold a family unit together ultimately. That is why I do not like feminists, women are the root of any family and when the woman refuses to act as the family glue that holds everything together, the family breaks down. There you go, feminists are responsible for the breakdown in family all over the globe, BLAME THEM!

You won my respect with this post!

sisimose:

what's funny is we women cry for more emotional men, blah blah , yet when we get it, we cry to our family and friends that we want strong leading men,besides while the feminist are breaking down the gender structures in the work place etc, do they ask or wonder who the men go home to? all broken and forced to assume an unnatural role. Answer is another woman like them lol . There is more , so much more to this interesting topic so i leave it here.

You made me laugh Donzman.
I know i must sound strange to some women, but it is not strange, many women are now running back to traditional values , because the rights they fight for in the work place etc are not so pretty anymore. Check this out. My sister and her husband were doing modern family , she is feminist . She had their baby . they had a crazy idea to have him stay home because she earns a whole heap more than him, she went straight to work after my nephew was born. She had a break down from stress and depression because she felt guilty and sad that she should be home with her baby. It's not worth it sometimes. Let men play their role, that is how mama did it

Keep it going dear, you are set for a worryless life. 
Just my 2cents.

sisimose:

what's funny is we women cry for more emotional men, blah blah , yet when we get it, we cry to our family and friends that we want strong leading men,besides while the feminist are breaking down the gender structures in the work place etc, do they ask or wonder who the men go home to? all broken and forced to assume an unnatural role. Answer is another woman like them lol . There is more , so much more to this interesting topic so i leave it here.

men are also emotional. society forces them to conceal their emotions though. especially in the west.
that's why male friends can hold hand in Nigeria (i hope this has not changed) while in the US, you'll be considered a "sissy" or "girl"

It's a pity lots of sissy men are being produced nowadays,

and there were no sissies in the past?
every man was smart tough and strong while the wives were weak. that's exactly how it was in the past. it's a pity it isn't like that anymore.