What are your views on couples living apart?

Gay

depends on the unhelped circumstances, if by choice thats stuuuuuuuuuuuuuupid

Some men actually prefer that kinda thing, you find men in naija living alone while their wives and children are in america, its called being a "married bachelor", Sons of b*****s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

indie22:

Some men actually prefer that kinda thing, you find men in naija living alone while their wives and children are in america, its called being a "married bachelor", Sons of b*****s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh dont give me that!!!!

did they tie them up and bundle them to the US?? if she puts her foot down and say NO!! is he gona kill her??

Some men actually prefer that?

There are a whole lot of men around lekki, where i live, with wives and kids abroad and them here alone in naija, they travel rather often tho and their families come down for the holidays, a lot of them use a better standard of education for the kids abroad as an excuse to keep them there, trust me, it works for them!!!!!!!

indie22:

Some men actually prefer that kinda thing, you find men in naija living alone while their wives and children are in america, its called being a "married bachelor", Sons of b*****s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

r u dating one of them or perhaps u've been lied to

nah, i dont do anything complicated, but yeah, i come across a lot of them.

for me i dont like the ideal

@indiee22
Okay i see where you coming from. It sort of gives them a breathing space to do whatever right?

exactly,

@Indie, I know a lot of women who s got abroad husbands. Most of them are f'uckin single dudes! Believe me, I should be f'uckin some if i so wished. Tempted many times.

Not advisable and dangerous unless when it is inevitable.

indie22:

Some men actually prefer that kinda thing, you find men in naija living alone while their wives and children are in america, its called being a "married bachelor", Sons of b*****s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well said !! 

Area_boy:

oh dont give me that!!!!

did they tie them up and bundle them to the US?? if she puts her foot down and say NO!! is he gona kill her??

abi oh. spot on !

J.Jay:

@Indie, I know a lot of women who s got abroad husbands. Most of them are f'uckin single dudes! Believe me, I should be f'uckin some if i so wished. Tempted many times.

serves the men right ! 

If done by choice, then what's the point of the relationship? the main purpose of a relationship
is to be together, to support each other, to tolerate each others, to digest and accommodate each others negative aspects etc,
what's the purpose then if you live apart?

i understand the part of the man living in nigeria and the wife and kids abroad (good education for the kids, etc)

the one that is the most rampant and painful is cases where the man travels abroad in search for the 'gloden fleece' and then never brings the woman over to join him. Rather, he comes home every 3years to impregnate the wife and goes back.

yet the foolish wife. yes, very foolish wife, opens her legs for him each time and allows him to feel her up.

so man is 'married bachelor' abroad, while he has wife and kids in nigeria that he send money to every month.

there are soooo many of such men littered in US and various countries abroad.

shameless men !

i had the (mis)fortune of falling into the hands of such. the cow didnt tell me he was married. but when i found out, i show the guy shege.

indie22:

Some men actually prefer that kinda thing, you find men in naija living alone while their wives and children are in america, its called being a "married bachelor", Sons of b*****s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@Post
All I know is that I cant do it

ybab:

i understand the part of the man living in nigeria and the wife and kids abroad (good education for the kids, etc)

the one that is the most rampant and painful is cases where the man travels abroad in search for the 'gloden fleece' and then never brings the woman over to join him. Rather, he comes home every 3years to impregnate the wife and goes back.

yet the foolish wife. yes, very foolish wife, opens her legs for him each time and allows him to feel her up.

so man is 'married bachelor' abroad, while he has wife and kids in nigeria that he send money to every month.

there are soooo many of such men littered in US and various countries abroad.

shameless men !

i had the (mis)fortune of falling into the hands of such. the cow didnt tell me he was married. but when i found out, i show the guy shege.

In most cases like this, the man is either not legally settled overseas or is married to someone else abroad to regularize his Kpali (papers). Some guys are so smart they hide it from their spouses. Believe me some ladies may know this but chose to stay put in the relationship for the sake of the kids, financial security et al. All cases are not exactly the same. The truth is, relocating abroad for married couples is usually very complex and often come with many complications.

Else-Oh-Jay

Whats your take?
Should couples live apart because of work?
What are the likely effects of couples living apart?
Who does it pay?
Please answer the questions, your views will be published in a magazine.

A diplomatic way of saying "bye bye" to the marriage.

nothing wrong abt it if it's for the better good of the family. my parents stay apart. my mum stays in ibadan while my dad is here in lagos. he travels home every weekend and my mum comes sometimes during the week. close to 30yrs of marriage and i've never seen them arguing or quarrelling. not even once. i've never seen my dad with another woman. we're still one big family.

Jaidey-one:

nothing wrong abt it if it's for the better good of the family. my parents stay apart. my mum stays in ibadan while my dad is here in lagos. he travels home every weekend and my mum comes sometimes during the week. close to 30yrs of marriage and i've never seen them arguing or quarrelling. not even once. i've never seen my dad with another woman. we're still one big family.

You think it wouldnt have been better if parents were living together?

Why should a married couple leave apart? It just leaves room for all kinds of "accidents" to happen, besides at d end of the day the kids suffer that absence.

I'm igbo and my mum's yoruba, I dnt speak or understand my father's language, I dnt really like igbo food and dnt at all feel a connection wiv anything igbo, coz when I was growing up my dad was rarely around and no one spoke igbo to me, Now dat I'm older and I travel home, it pains me dat I dnt understand d language and feel awkward amongst my own people, I'm only igbo by name, everthing else about me is yoruba.

I think it's not advisable.

indie22:

Why should a married couple leave apart? It just leaves room for all kinds of "accidents" to happen, besides at d end of the day the kids suffer that absence.

I'm igbo and my mum's yoruba, I dnt speak or understand my father's language, I dnt really like igbo food and dnt at all feel a connection wiv anything igbo, coz when I was growing up my dad was rarely around and no one spoke igbo to me, Now dat I'm older and I travel home, it pains me dat I dnt understand d language and feel awkward amongst my own people, I'm only igbo by name, everthing else about me is yoruba.

Mehn, you really hit the rock girl, anyway nice one.

Is that your profile pics?.

If yes, you keep the boll rolling ooo.

Different stroke for different folks, but personally I don't see anything wrong or big deal about it. If you have spent anytime at all in the western world (Europe/U.S etc , ), you would have realised that the system and the law here is tilted way too much in favour of the women folks.

Here in Europe, a woman can easily ruin a guy's life and take all his life worth from him in the name of marriage. She can thrown him out willy nilly; no question ask. And you know what, you dare not come back. Different kind of orders (safety/protection/barring) will be taking against the unfortunate man. It is now becoming the speciality of our women (african) to deploy this shameful act anytime they have issue with their men. No thought is given to the fact the man might have worked his back side off in the cold winter to bring the woman to the West.

So if this arrangement is going to save the man this aggravation, at least until they are both well into their middle/late age, then so be it. If you think I am exaggerating, ask any of your brothers in diaspora. The things these women get up to here is beyond belief; totally not our culture.

However if the separation is by mutual arragement to source quick capital abroad, the man/woman should return to base as soon as the money has been put together. Separating famil[ies] is a terrible thing, not ony for the spouses but the children especially.

My 2cent

hmmm

It is totally not advisable, if some are doing it and its working for them definitely it will not work 4 every1 and sure it will work against more people.

My view is that is their choice.

If other couples have made decision to live in separate housing that'S on THEM.  If it isn't for you then there is no need to be upset about OTHER PEOPLE'S choice in how they want to live as couples. 

I mean damn!

Not advisable at all

Abomination