hotmum:


Just wanted to know if it would be wise to just cook for me and kids alone.
I'm actually tired of asking him if he would eat or not. Cos it seems he enjoys telling me "I don't need your food"
Cos he knows it hurts.

Just apologise to him when you are in bed. Tell him not to be offended anymore. Give him good sex to douse the tension

Divorce him asap

Pataricatering:
go on her knees for what ? Hat century are you from ?

Madam, I've learnt a lot from my parents and one of the things I learnt is never be too proud to say I AM SORRY to ur partner. drop your pride and stop being a slayqueen

gloria34:
I have come to understand that every home has its unique way of handling things. my sister's husband usually do same. she will just Ignor him. once she served food, he refused to eat, she sat down and eat d food. that was d last time her husband did such, imagine! it worked 4 her but may not work 4 d op. he is d 1 at home with him, she need to find something that works 4 her

you make perfect sense

oloriooko:

The problem is not eating out so don't even go there
The crux of the matter is you guys inability to communicate as couples.
How long have you guys been married? Learn to talk out your differences and put them behind you.
If you don't learn to do that, your marriage is in danger.
Be sure you going to have a lot of disagreements so learn to resolve them and enjoy your marriage
Wish you the best

Simply put it " she marry a boy" nd save us all those grammar

he needs to change that mindset, you dont keep relationship by malice, how do you resolve disputes if you cant talk things out.

samsam2019:
nip things like this in the bud like she's dealing with a kid eh?


You don't even have the full gist and you're already talking nonsense

No mind am, no be only 2 nip in the bud lwkmd. 2mao now wen anoda woman offers him an alternative in that his state now you go run go prayer house begin cast &bind. The type of girls/ladies hoping for marriage sha, na God go really help them.

realtalk19:


even with d sorry nd begging some wunt b moved until u ar emotionally tortured nd drained

life is funny. in same situation, d woman begged and begged yet her husband was always very petty. she got fed up and moved out( on his orders. he does that whenever he is mad). after about 2 months, u need to see this buy begging and threatening to commit suicide if she Dont return.

hotmum:


Thanks

Sister,this is my advice for you start cooking uncommon food with good aroma and sit beside where he is just for him to smell the aroma,hope u understand me maybe ogbolo or egusi and Iyan with ponmon kika or stock fish.do it for three days I bet you if he can't come around to ask for his food he will go to the kitchen when u sleep and eat his own share and the fight go end,he has already know ur weakness that is why he is behaving like that after offended u,just ignore him..And I don't know if u know how to do yeye just dey talk to ur children that did they enjoy their meal infront of him,he go calm down....ma da elekeru e loun jare,he want to ride u becuz of love....

akaahs:

Simply put it " she marry a boy" nd save us all those grammar

You have only heard from the lady have you heard from the guy? It will be immature and unjust to conclude "she married a boy".

Its ok. Cry it out if you must and feel better. Be strong , if he is ready to discuss with you, he will initiate it. Let him be, before he will term you a nagging wife. Prepare food for yourself and the kids only. When he comes back you then ask him. "Sweetheart what would you like to eat so that I can quickly prepare it." And don't get tired to ask and be ready to cook whenever he is ready to eat your food. Even if it's 12 midnight. If by chance he is at home and you want to cook, tell him my dear, I am making rice for lunch would you like that or what should I make for you? Greet him normally and be happy to the extent that he will see you are no longer bothered. It worked for me and we are happy. He can't stay long without eating my good.

thesicilian:
If you're a good cook, your husband will eat your food no matter the misunderstanding

Cook heavenly delicious meal..
If I'm angry the meal LL pass..

See it's pretty easy. Ignore him when he starts,cook delicious meals esp his favourite for you and your kids alone(make sure there is no leftover). He keeps saying he does'nt need your food cos u keep asking. Act like he does not exist,he will reset himself by himself.

hotmum:


Just wanted to know if it would be wise to just cook for me and kids alone.
I'm actually tired of asking him if he would eat or not. Cos it seems he enjoys telling me "I don't need your food"
Cos he knows it hurts.

No be by force to chop na,

Be submissive and go on your kneels and beg him.

hotmum:
How do you handle a husband that after telling him his offenses to you, or when you have misunderstanding he keeps malice and starts eating outside.
I'm the type that can cry when explaining things so I sent him an SMS of what he did wrong.

Instead he kept malice and refused food.
I'm not the eating type and can't force myself to finish a pot of food. So this morning I asked if he would eat and he said No.
And later went out and has not come back.
Should I confront him about his eating out, and how?

My advice is this.
He is your husband and you both are happily married.. Cool
When you notice he is on this act..
Let him be but still care with love..
Don't let his anger trigger you into misbehaving to him..
When he returns cook his best meal let him eat enough..
Let him know you have missed him..
Let him sex you that nyt.. Then after sex talk to him with loving soothen words..
I can bet he LL stop acting it..

Confronting your husband for eating outside due to disagreements, won't help. But make matters worse.

Call him your/his pet names and ask him what is the matter? Don't just remind him of what happened. Just ask him, sweetie what's the matter? That should be after he might had his bath/resting time. After the explanations from him, blow him with hot kisses till the next day

Matters settle.

elda2303:


No mind am, no be only 2 nip in the bud lwkmd. 2mao now wen anoda woman offers him an alternative in that his state now you go run go prayer house begin cast &bind. The type of girls/ladies hoping for marriage sha, na God go really help them.

I would know because I'm separated from my wife and I tell ya, stupid little things like this can lead into something big and terrible. And naturally men can't take any form of bravado in their very own home.


So no mind all those big mouths

samsam2019:
and you think you have sense?

No I don't have. It's you who has

edimahgurl:
Fellow NL, biko how do i reply messages,i do get mails but don't know how to reply them...Help me before i lose a potential hubby

meet me at the other room

edimahgurl:
Fellow NL, biko how do i reply messages,i do get mails but don't know how to reply them...Help me before i lose a potential hubby

Your signature is what u should abide by. But wait o, how can u be talking of hubby when u say your best friend is your worst enemy?

My advice is this; Make sure u start cooking his favourites, gather d children and wack d food in his presence then u go see what will happen. But always call him to join to eat. This pattern works Like fire becos he is d one spending d cash, u don't need to cry grow up baby he is taking advantage of your emotions can't u see.

hotmum:

He is the one that did or rather have been doing something I didn't like.
I don't want to go into it as its a long story.
I'm this very emotional person, that tears would take over and I wouldn't be able to continue talking.
Or I would talk out of anger just to avoid crying.

Even while typing I was crying. It's my very bad weakness
So I decided to use SMS so I can bare my mind

Maybe, the tone and manner of your SMS put him off. Most Nigerian men still want their wives to be submissive, even when correcting them...it an ego thing.

Since you know that, your husband have this problem, you have to approach him differently. Remember that, there are no winners and losers in this scenario and don’t let the fact that, you are right and he is wrong determine how you act in the situation, both of you are in the same team, when it rains it affect everyone.

Send him another SMS, tell him that you are sorry if the way and manner you brought the issue before him offended him and that your goal is not to offend him. Tell him how miserable you are and how the whole thing is affecting you, the kids and the marriage. Remind him that you love him and still support him....listen men are baby and still have childish behavior in them, tap into that. Don’t stand toe to toe with him or try to challenge him head on, their are many other subtle ways of getting your points across...also tell him that, you guys major problem is lack of communication.

Preferably, send him the text often until he comes around.

Once he comes around, wait a few days and bring up the conversation about the communication problem that exist between you guys...never bring up the other issue....ask him what is the best way to communicate disagreements to him and the best way to resolve issues around the home....tell him how miserable you feel for him not eating your food...never bring up the fact that the food is wasted....extract a promise from him not to refuse your food again in the future.

Let him feel as the king and head of the home, if he is a true husband, he will elevate you to the queen position.

You may say, why are mine the one going to do all these, first of all; you were the one asking the question, second your husband is not here, so it is useless giving him advice or analyzing where he went wrong, lastly from your write up my assumptions is that, you are willing to go the extra mile for things to work out.

hotmum:
How do you handle a husband that after telling him his offenses to you, or when you have misunderstanding he keeps malice and starts eating outside.
I'm thterrible can cry when explaining things so I sent him an SMS of what he did wrong.

Instead he kept malice and refused food.
I'm not the eating type and can't force myself to finish a pot of food. So this morning I asked if he would eat and he said No.
And later went out and has not come back.
Should I confront him about his eating out, and how?

The both of you really need to have a heart to heart discussion about this issue. I know this is cliche but its still how best you can sort out this problem. When you approach him about this, try not to be confrontational or judgemental; rather, act sober and focus on how terrible he makes you feel when he starts acting up. If he is reasonable and he truly loves you, he will mend his ways. If he doesn't change after all these, then there's something else going on and you need to find out what it is.

Some baby husbands are like that, they seek for occasion to taste outside. Its OK but don't allow him take advantage of u

You send an SMS to him detailing his wrong, I just can't imagine that. It shows clearly your communication gap. Now u have a copy of the SMS and he also have. Very bad from my perspective.

You can always talk no matter what the issue is. Talk and keep talking. Find the right time and words to address issues. You said you're the emotional type which is good. Express yourself in tears, I don't see anything wrong in that.

All marriages go through problems, none is an exception. All the best.

hotmum:
How do you handle a husband that after telling him his offenses to you, or when you have misunderstanding he keeps malice and starts eating outside.
I'm the type that can cry when explaining things so I sent him an SMS of what he did wrong.

Instead he kept malice and refused food.
I'm not the eating type and can't force myself to finish a pot of food. So this morning I asked if he would eat and he said No.
And later went out and has not come back.
Should I confront him about his eating out, and how?

Hotmum, you better start getting cold before you loose him via food to a strange woman

lilyfaith:


No I don't have. It's you who has

with the way you reason I sincerely hope you don't have a broken home

zainabicy:
It is good that you care this much.

Now by all means always air your concerns to your husband. This instance of him eating out is wrong, but there might be nothing you can do just now. But it is something you have to discuss with him over later . For now always cook his meals and always tell him you prepared his meals , even if he doesn't seem to care.

Love focused on what is right and not who is right. I always ask my husband , if one of us offends, the answer is---how do we reconcile from that point, and not revenge.

Seat him down when you know he has the time. Be deliberate with 'happy moments'. Those times when you guys are in a good mood and laughing is always a good time to settle issues. When you are both happy and in a gay mood...

Say something like 'babe, I want your honest opinion on something. I find it uncomfortable when you do this...or this happens...
I know you love me and you are not doing this to deliberately hurt me...is there a way you could do 'this' instead...or not do this... again because it makes me feel like this...

Don't ever get tired of communication in the marriage, it might be awkward and tense in the beginnings, but it smooths over and pays out in the long run.

Best advice and it works on both side except for unresonable and selfish partner.

hotmum:
How do you handle a husband that after telling him his offenses to you, or when you have misunderstanding he keeps malice and starts eating outside.
I'm the type that can cry when explaining things so I sent him an SMS of what he did wrong.

Instead he kept malice and refused food.
I'm not the eating type and can't force myself to finish a pot of food. So this morning I asked if he would eat and he said No.
And later went out and has not come back.
Should I confront him about his eating out, and how?

your husband is still a boy...... Sorry for saying that

realtalk19:



so wat wuld u say of a man that dnt eat out but stil refused d wife food despite beggin nd pleas.

Such a man one lacks maturity. In fact, that person is still a boy in his brains.
However, some men may refuse food from their wife when there's an argument and this may not be because they're childish. They may avoid food from their wives for one of the 2 reasons below;
1.) Women are very emotional and to torture their emotions, they would have to avoid their foods.
2.) Some men may be scared that their wives may put in some harmful substances in their foods when they're fighting. They'd rather wait until they're sure the dispute is resolved before they can resume the trust they have in their wife's food.
However, know the one you choose to spend the rest of your life with. Thoroughly examine every new character developed during courtship and decide if you can live with such a one with those traits.

thesicilian:
If you're a good cook, your husband will eat your food no matter the misunderstanding

U never c chomtin... Men behave like babies sometimes