Long post alert!!!!!!!

Please read carefully.





John was a guy with no job and no ambition. He was also a playboy..... A very good one. He dropped out of school due to numerous sexcapades with his classmates and even teachers. He loved clubbing all night and then sleeping and watching television all day. But how does he get his food you may ask?

He had a girl friend called Karen. Karen was a rich nurse at one of the biggest hospitals in town. Karen would stock Johns fridge full and then John would fill up her pussy for her. John gave her great sex and that's what kept her from leaving him.


It was the end of may and Johns fridge was almost empty. He then gave Karen who was already at the supermarket a phone call. Karen told her that she'd be there soon. Thirty minutes later John was already helping Karen out of her car and then took the supplies home with Karen following closely behind.

As John was unpacking
The foodstuffs something bit him. He shouted in pain and Karen asked him what happened. He explained and then Karen told him that its nothing and then kissed the wound. Before you know it....they were already tumbling under the sheets. Doggy....greyhound.....head ..... Just name it..... John was an expert.



After satisfying a happy Karen.... Thay both bidded there good byes and Karen left. So as he was playing his Xbox360, his little man just started its engines again." So my little guy needs more" he said. He then dailed the phone and called Melissa.....

Melissa was one of the numerous side chicks John had apart from Karen. In a thrice.... Melissa was around. Looking at Johns joystick.. She said that he was all ready before she came. John laughed and preintimacy started. There was hot steamy sex and after melissa left his J-man was still rock hard. He was getting sore but he wantsd to break his own record.... He then called Laura... Laura also came and gave him sex b ut still John was rock hard. Three Girls in a day!!!! This was his moment to shine. He was thinking of who to call next but he then remembered
Janet.... The ass mama.... He hadn't bleeped her in weeks. He then called her but she was a bit late. When she came... She first gave him a BJ but little sperm came out. John was already running dry but he wasn't going to chicken our in front of this bitch.... But when John began to thrust... He saw that his thrusting became faster and then he beagen to feel a pain in his chest. It began slowly and mildly but it soon became more painful an the John suddenly Held his chest and collapsed.....



What caused his death was a bite he received earlier. It was the bite of a wandering spider..... One of the most poisonious spiders in the world. Its venom spreads through the blood stream and spreads fasterr if the heart beats faster. The duration between the bite and its effects are between three minutes to five hours. Johns numerous sexcapades accelerated his own death.


But the bite has a special effect. It gives the victim a rock hard erection. The venom dilates arteries abd veins thereby providing more blood to your lower region aka Jman


Moral Of The Story
If you have a rock hard erection refusing to go....instead of banging your gfs , run to the nearest hospital. You. May have been bitten by a wandering spider.

Live by the pussy... Die by the pussy.

Cheers

1000ways to die

Ontoog:
1000ways to die

Your head get oil..... When did you watch that episode?

Can't remember