Ovems:
I believe your sister was upset because it won't be easy for her to ask them for help or assistance in the future . The couple won't take her serious again. You do it once, it's OK, but twice? The tone is set.

It's surprising how people will set a tone over something as that. Perhaps people are the ones that need to take a chill pill. Funny enough, I believed my change if plans would better serve I & d couple both, but here are people saying it serves only me.

I'll hear what the man has to say tomorrow, even from his tone, I'll detect my error.

So if I ask someone for his help one time, then change my mind, then ask later on then change my mind, I'm indecisive. Well it actually sounds somehow, but it's absolutely normal.

lebete3000:
It is well oh, it's just like I asked my sis to help me borrow money from you that's managing your small change, then I considered some factors and changed my mind, then my sis gets angry at me for not borrowing the money anymore, saying the ppl will be pissed

Well...

If you asked them yourself, it would be less complicated. But you keep putting your sister in an awkward situation. You need to make up your mind and weigh your options before asking for assistance not after.

lebete3000:


So why should my sister think they'll be angry I changed my mind? Shouldn't she think they'll be happy instead?

It's the second time.

lebete3000:


It's surprising how people will set a tone over something as that. Perhaps people are the ones that need to take a chill pill. Funny enough, I believed my change if plans would better serve I & d couple both, but here are people saying it serves only me.

I'll hear what the man has to say tomorrow, even from his tone, I'll detect my error.

So if I ask someone for his help one time, then change my mind, then ask later on then change my mind, I'm indecisive. Well it actually sounds somehow, but it's absolutely normal.

Please stop typing.

ImaIma1:


If you asked them yourself, it would be less complicated. But you keep putting your sister in an awkward situation. You need to make up your mind and weigh your options before asking for assistance not after.

You keep saying I should weigh my options which I actually did. No matter how much you weigh your options, you may still need to change them after making a decision. That's the practicality about life. And that's why I've said I'll call the man myself to absolve my sister of any blame.

crackhaus:

Please stop typing.

Well we're all sentimental. Bias is a part of human nature. Objectivity is usually subject to Subjectivity.

Thanks for your response.

So it's a world where it's a social misdemeanour for one to change one's mind as much as possible, even to the detriment of nobody....

lebete3000:


Well we're all sentimental. Bias is a part of human nature. Objectivity is usually subject to Subjectivity.

Thanks for your response.

That made sense to you?

You are lucky your elder sister isn't my kinda person. Because that would be the last time you would ever call Me to request such offer.

Changing your mind like a small Boi. This shows you act on impulse and don't give your decisions deep thought otherwise you would have factored cost before placing that call.

Apologize to your sister because yes! You made her look like a fool before her friend and her family.

You are an unstable person and you need to watch out. Go and apologise to you sister instead defending what not defendable. And stop bothering her you have troubled her enough. Face your challenges and be a man.

Alexk2:
OP, I can feel you're always like this; "feeling always right, too big to apologize for anything even when you're wrong, never willing to accept responsibility or agree you're wrong in disputes btw you and people and quick to blame others for everything no matter how absurd" but I want you to get it straight tonight that such attitudes will keep you unhappy in life as it's insensitive and very selfish. Get out of your shell, give yourself a break from low selfesteem and have a an attitudinal change for good please. God will help you if you allow Him to! Shalom!

*walks into a bar with sleeves folded up, sights Alexk2, whispers to the barman*
"Abeg gee tha guy 2 chilled star with dog meat pepper soup and some roast pork; he is a real G".

lebete3000:
So it's a world where it's a social misdemeanour for one to change one's mind as much as possible, even to the detriment of nobody....

Pick up the phone and talk to the man yourself. Take the blame and absorb your sis from any shame from your indecisiveness.

Next time, before taking out an action, you will think of the effects and the possible response before making a move. You don't begin a journey without giving it due consideration.

You can keep replying all comments, but deep down you know you have messed up hence the reason for the thread.

*singing*
"U..........change ur mind.......like a girl.......changes clothes.......
*walks outta thread modafukaly*

lebete3000:


It's surprising how people will set a tone over something as that. Perhaps people are the ones that need to take a chill pill. Funny enough, I believed my change if plans would better serve I & d couple both, but here are people saying it serves only me.

I'll hear what the man has to say tomorrow, even from his tone, I'll detect my error.

So if I ask someone for his help one time, then change my mind, then ask later on then change my mind, I'm indecisive. Well it actually sounds somehow, but it's absolutely normal.

You may think it's to their benefits but there is no way they didn't have to move things and plans around to accommodate you. So it's kind of an inconvenience. And if she needs a favor next time, they will unconsciously expect her to call them back to say "sorry but don't bother again ". Just put yourself in her shoes.

lebete3000:


And you think I jumped into conclusions in the heat of the moment? You want to tell me you haven't taken days to plan a decision only to edit it again? Or you'll say because you've planned it for decades you can't change it again, even if it's glaring it was a wrong decision? Or you think a decision that took years to make is guaranteed of being foolproof?

Guy, abeg don't mind the mad men quoting you rubbish. Its your life bro, yes, they will be mad, and thats the consequence you ll deal with for your changing decisions, but its fine, and don't let any noob here tell you you have to go ahead just to please anyone. You aren't pleasing anyone, you only made a decision which makes your sister not happy, nonetheless, you have to apologise to your sister, not cos of your decision, cos (as you thought out), its a good one, but because it was her trying to help you that made her feel bad.

Again bro, don't listen to the noobs here talking rubbish, sometimes you have to cancel well thought out plans at the last minute and you will keep doing it. Just have to grow nd accept and understand that there will be consequences.
.
Cheers.

lebete3000:
I've once asked my elder sister to help me ask her friend who is married for help, in order to stay in their place due to its proximity to my workplace. The couple agreed but due to change of plans, I told them not to worry anymore.

Another work close to the couple's area showed up and I asked my sister to help me speak to her friend. This time the husband told my sis he has his inlaws presently staying with him and only the living room is available and he won't want me to stay in such inconducive condition. I told my sister to tell him not to worry that I can manage since it'll save me excess tfare, to which he said okay.

On afterthought, I calculated the amount I'll spend on feeding at their place- cos I'm a reserved person who wouldn't like to be a burden on one's finances- and found found out it'll be a 2k difference overall with the lack of comfort and ease of putting up in someone's place. So I changed my mind and told my elder sis it might not be necessary, but she flared up, saying why didn't I think it out previously, that it would make her look like she's just playing with them or something. In my mind I couldn't really get her logic cos I feel if someone changes their mind and decide not to be a burden on you, it shouldn't turn into a misunderstanding as this.

I don't know maybe I'm still myopic to see this sha but I feel I haven't done anything wrong.

Pls advice cos honestly I'm really tired of her mindset.

Thanks.

Your sister is right. You are a very indecisive person. How do you want her to look to her friend now? Like someone playing on their intelligence.

lebete3000:


And with what I wrote up there concerning proximity with my workplace and saving cost, you think I didn't think about it? The issue here is I didn't exhaust all the thought options and that could happen to anyone. It's not as if I'm an august visitor they're preparing a royal welcome for, that they'll now feel disappointed by me changing my mind.

Anyway.

shut up! You still come here dey argue. You ll never learn with this your arrogant attitude

You sound very rude and unreasonable. Your sis has your time sha. Y can't you go and meet them yourself the 2nd time. Infact I'm vexed already by reading your nonsense!

op.. you need deliverance.

femi4:
shut up! You still come here dey argue. You ll never learn with this your arrogant attitude

It is that entitlement syndrome. Don't blame him.

He is entitled to his sister seeking help for him and is also entitled to changing his mind. And his sister has no right to get angry. After all, it is his life and his decision to make.

And least i forget...he is entitled to his decision.

lebete3000:


So if I didn't factor in a thought b4 and it now comes to mind afterwards, it makes me indecisive?

Anyway your advice has been noted with thanks.

But what you did is actually annoying. I'm not involved, but I'm pissed too. What sort of back and forth parade is that? Do you know what it takes to ask people for favours? Perhaps, because you weren't the one doing the asking yourself, you don't know how hard it is. Your sis was helping you out and all you could do was to keep changing your mind, making her look like a joke in the eyes of her friends.

Yes, you should have thought it through before agreeing in the first place.

That being said, your sis will get over it.

lebete3000:


I told her I'll explain to the man myself.

I dunno but if someone was gonna come inconvenience me and then changed his mind afterwards even apologizing, I don't think I'll be mad, I'll infact be happy, but the guy above might be right anyways, I may actually need deliverance.

Yes, you do need a deliverance.

Papoose269:
No bro,when I take time to make a decision I stick to my decision no matter the outcome because life is a teacher and we learn from our actions, I don't have to be right all the time. In this case it's your sister I'm concerned about not you because you are obviously very stubborn and unrepentant. You owe her an apology. That being said, I wish you all the best and goodnight.

Very stubborn and unrepentant. Lol. I could be like that sometimes, but it doesn't take me a long time to realise the truth in the matter.

Funny OP.

Alexk2:
OP, I can feel you're always like this; "feeling always right, too big to apologize for anything even when you're wrong, never willing to accept responsibility or agree you're wrong in disputes btw you and people and quick to blame others for everything no matter how absurd" but I want you to get it straight tonight that such attitudes will keep you unhappy in life as it's insensitive and very selfish. Get out of your shell, give yourself a break from low selfesteem and have a an attitudinal change for good please. God will help you if you allow Him to! Shalom!

Brilliant comment. It's not the worst thing in the world to vacillate sometimes, but the way the op is going about defending his actions is absolutely shocking. Utterly cringeworthy.

lebete3000:


Well we're all sentimental. Bias is a part of human nature. Objectivity is usually subject to Subjectivity.

Thanks for your response.

Philospher like no other. You just can't let a matter slide.

lebete3000:


As I've said, I'll apologize to the man, even despite not seeing the wrong in what I did. I don't know if that's still pride. Cos a man who has said he'll apologize even on his sister's behalf for something he doesn't see any wrong in, yet he's still termed a selfish and arrogant person. Well it leaves much to be desired.

Perhaps I didn't make myself clear enough cos I actually wanted answers to my question but all I've gotten is insults and more confusion. Typical of man to criticise you and tell you to change, it's a sweet feeling that makes one feel better than others.

May God guide us all...SHALOM.

your apology is absolutely useless when you don't feel sorry or still won't admit you're wrong and yes it is called "pride"... I feel so much for your sister for your outright insensitivity and i really wish for God's sake you'll have an attitudinal change for good before it is too late.
someone said you need deliverance and you seem to agree in your reply but that'll be a mere waste of time, energy, and a misplaced priority if you keep refusing to have a change from within. God will never force you to change if you aren't willing to. I choose to reply you because i know you can and i'm particularly interested to see that happen.... I'm hoping i won't be disappointed.

PrimadonnaO:



But what you did is actually annoying. I'm not involved, but I'm pissed too. What sort of back and forth parade is that? Do you know what it takes to ask people for favours? Perhaps, because you weren't the one doing the asking yourself, you don't know how hard it is. Your sis was helping you out and all you could do was to keep changing your mind, making her look like a joke in the eyes of her friends.

Yes, you should have thought it through before agreeing in the first place.

That being said, your sis will get over it.

When I was about to open the thread, I was thinking in my mind that it was one of those stories about a sister being mean for no reason. Here's a sister who loves him so much and is willing to go out of her comfort zone to make him happy and what she gets in return is an unappreciative kid who cannot listen to the voice of reason but instead is stuck up on his mentality that somehow his sister's life should revolve around him. It's not a matter of deliverance, I'm sure he's had this attitude for a long time now. The root of the problem needs to be traced and nipped in the bud because if he goes out feeling like he's entiteled to whatever then this is gonna be a really sorry case.

I think u did wrong.. and your sister deserves an apology. DO YOU KNOW THE REASON? OK i will tell you.. You made her look foolish.. and please next time weigh your options before making taking decisions.. cheers.

I think u did wrong.. and your sister deserves an apology. DO YOU KNOW THE REASON? OK i will tell you.. You made her look foolish.. and please next time weigh your options before taking decisions.. cheers.

Just shut up already. You want to go and apologize to the man and not your sister right?? Apologize for what if I may ask?
Have you ever thought of what it took your sister to convince them that you will be staying with them??
Stop sounding selfish pls. Your sister have every right to be angry with you. Have you ever thought may be they refused but your sister have to beg them to accommodate you only for you to display your little attitude again.....thinking they should be happy you are not coming.

Your thoughts sha.. needs to brain resetting.

Why did you think now is the right time to talk to the man?
Why did you not do it when you think you needed the accommodation?
Why involving your sister in the first place and now think it's best to go and apologize to the man??
Your sister is angry with you for in inability to take a decision and stick to it but showing all these your attitude, you deserve a brain resetting sound slap. May be that will make you understand.

Papoose269:
When I was about to open the thread, I was thinking in my mind that it was one of those stories about a sister being mean for no reason. Here's a sister who loves him so much and is willing to go out of her comfort zone to make him happy and what she gets in return is an unappreciative kid who cannot listen to the voice of reason but instead is stuck up on his mentality that somehow his sister's life should revolve around him. It's not a matter of deliverance, I'm sure he's had this attitude for a long time now. The root of the problem needs to be traced and nipped in the bud because if he goes out feeling like he's entiteled to whatever then this is gonna be a really sorry case.

He'll bear the brunt of it, unfortunately. He's the one who'll lose friends or have stiff relationships. Just imagine the tone of his topic..."Can someone tell me how I've wronged my elder sister?" Lol. SMH.