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Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister - Family - Nairaland

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Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by lebete3000: 9:05pm On Mar 05, 2018
I've once asked my elder sister to help me ask her friend who is married for help, in order to stay in their place due to its proximity to my workplace. The couple agreed but due to change of plans, I told them not to worry anymore.

Another work close to the couple's area showed up and I asked my sister to help me speak to her friend. This time the husband told my sis he has his inlaws presently staying with him and only the living room is available and he won't want me to stay in such inconducive condition. I told my sister to tell him not to worry that I can manage since it'll save me excess tfare, to which he said okay.

On afterthought, I calculated the amount I'll spend on feeding at their place- cos I'm a reserved person who wouldn't like to be a burden on one's finances- and found found out it'll be a 2k difference overall with the lack of comfort and ease of putting up in someone's place. So I changed my mind and told my elder sis it might not be necessary, but she flared up, saying why didn't I think it out previously, that it would make her look like she's just playing with them or something. In my mind I couldn't really get her logic cos I feel if someone changes their mind and decide not to be a burden on you, it shouldn't turn into a misunderstanding as this.

I don't know maybe I'm still myopic to see this sha but I feel I haven't done anything wrong.

Pls advice cos honestly I'm really tired of her mindset.

Thanks.
Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by Caustics: 9:08pm On Mar 05, 2018
you are an indecisive modafuka. apologize to your sister

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Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by lebete3000: 9:10pm On Mar 05, 2018
Caustics:
you are an indecisive modafuka. apologize to your sister

So if I didn't factor in a thought b4 and it now comes to mind afterwards, it makes me indecisive?

Anyway your advice has been noted with thanks.
Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by Omone41: 9:11pm On Mar 05, 2018
Well on my own part, i would b angry to, u shld v don all necessary calculation b4 involving ur sis for d 2nd time. It will make her look foolish to d pple, because they might have mind up their mind on how to accomodate u only 4 u 2 change ur mind 4 d 2nd time. Haba tell ur sis sorry nd xplain to her. Dats my take

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Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by ufuosman(m): 9:12pm On Mar 05, 2018
You suppose to think first, u are playing with dem. Put ur self in ur sister shoe

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Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by MistadeRegal(m): 9:18pm On Mar 05, 2018
You need deliverance.

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Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by BlackDBagba: 9:21pm On Mar 05, 2018
Are you a Gemini? undecided

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Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by Papoose269(m): 9:27pm On Mar 05, 2018
My guy what is wrong with you changing your mind up and down. Just reading through your thread alone my blood dey hot. You are making your sister look stupid in the eyes of people who respect her because trust me if they didn't respect her they would not consider her after you goofed the first time. Honestly you need to receive sense and go back and apologize to your sister. How old are you sef

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Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by lebete3000: 9:27pm On Mar 05, 2018
Omone41:
Well on my own part, i would b angry to, u shld v don all necessary calculation b4 involving ur sis for d 2nd time. It will make her look foolish to d pple, because they might have mind up their mind on how to accomodate u only 4 u 2 change ur mind 4 d 2nd time. Haba tell ur sis sorry nd xplain to her. Dats my take

I told her I'll explain to the man myself.

I dunno but if someone was gonna come inconvenience me and then changed his mind afterwards even apologizing, I don't think I'll be mad, I'll infact be happy, but the guy above might be right anyways, I may actually need deliverance.
Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by lebete3000: 9:28pm On Mar 05, 2018
Papoose269:
My guy what is wrong with you changing your mind up and down. Just reading through your thread alone my blood dey hot. You are making your sister look stupid in the eyes of people who respect her because trust me if they didn't respect her they would not consider her after you goofed the first time. Honestly you need to receive sense and go back and apologize to your sister. How old are you sef

Issokay. I'll apologize to the man myself. I've told her that already cos I don't want her to look stvpid as y'all have said.
Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by blesskewe(f): 9:29pm On Mar 05, 2018
if its me too i would get angry too which kind mumu insult be that after i don go talk on your behalf bros you need to be flogged

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Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by lebete3000: 9:31pm On Mar 05, 2018
ufuosman:
You suppose to think first, u are playing with dem. Put ur self in ur sister shoe

And with what I wrote up there concerning proximity with my workplace and saving cost, you think I didn't think about it? The issue here is I didn't exhaust all the thought options and that could happen to anyone. It's not as if I'm an august visitor they're preparing a royal welcome for, that they'll now feel disappointed by me changing my mind.

Anyway.
Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by Papoose269(m): 9:36pm On Mar 05, 2018
lebete3000:


Issokay. I'll apologize to the man myself. I've told her that already cos I don't want her to look stvpid as y'all have said.
You on your own part need to be decisive. This is probably your first job and you are going to need to make swift decisions sometimes. Think fast and learn to stick to your decisions because right now your image in the eyes of superiors will be on the line.

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Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by Caustics: 9:38pm On Mar 05, 2018
lebete3000:


And with what I wrote up there concerning proximity with my workplace and saving cost, you think I didn't think about it? The issue here is I didn't exhaust all the thought options and that could happen to anyone. It's not as if I'm an august visitor they're preparing a royal welcome for, that they'll now feel disappointed by me changing my mind.

Anyway.
exactly, you are not an august visitor so dont be changing mind anyhow because they are not excited that you are coming. the man telling you the parlour is not comfortable is enough sign that they dont want you around.

7 Likes

Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by lebete3000: 9:39pm On Mar 05, 2018
It is well oh, it's just like I asked my sis to help me borrow money from you that's managing your small change, then I considered some factors and changed my mind, then my sis gets angry at me for not borrowing the money anymore, saying the ppl will be pissed

Well...
Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by lebete3000: 9:40pm On Mar 05, 2018
Caustics:
exactly, you are not an august visitor so dont be changing mind anyhow because they are not excited that you are coming. the man telling you the parlour is not comfortable is enough sign that they dont want you around.

So why should my sister think they'll be angry I changed my mind? Shouldn't she think they'll be happy instead?
Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by lebete3000: 9:43pm On Mar 05, 2018
Papoose269:
You on your own part need to be decisive. This is probably your first job and you are going to need to make swift decisions sometimes. Think fast and learn to stick to your decisions because right now your image in the eyes of superiors will be on the line.

So even when you make decisions that are eventually not profitable to you and the other person- the couple in this situation- you stick to it and continue down the wrong road ba?

Alright.
Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by Caustics: 9:43pm On Mar 05, 2018
lebete3000:


So why should my sister think they'll be angry I changed my mind? Shouldn't she think they'll be happy instead?
changing of mind portrays unseriousness which is not a good image. You are soiling her image by association. people will start thinking thats how all of you are in your family. unserious and indecisive

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Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by MrBottle: 9:48pm On Mar 05, 2018
lebete3000:


So why should my sister think they'll be angry I changed my mind? Shouldn't she think they'll be happy instead?
I think you must have Aspergers syndrome. Your type irks a person to the bottom of the soul. To think that you are even arguing this makes me wanna rip out your soul and feed you some of it embarassed embarassed

You need a medical evaluation ASAP.

11 Likes

Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by lebete3000: 9:48pm On Mar 05, 2018
Caustics:
changing of mind portrays unseriousness which is not a good image. You are soiling her image by association. people will start thinking thats how all of you are in your family. unserious and indecisive

Well people will always perceive one as unserious when they change their minds, even when it's a better decision one has made.

So life's philosophy is to make a decision and stick to it, whether you eventually realize it's obviously an unwose decision, just not to make others see you as unserious.

Or you think decisions are not meant to changed, else the person is an unserious person?

Well as you said, perception is what matters here sha, cos I'll even be happy if I were in the couple's shoes.
Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by lebete3000: 9:51pm On Mar 05, 2018
MrBottle:
I think you must have Aspergers syndrome. Your type irks a person to the bottom of the soul. To think that you are even arguing this makes me wanna rip out your soul and feed you some of it embarassed embarassed

You need a medical evaluation ASAP.

Your diagnosis is a possibility...but in this situation I don't see the correlation.
Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by Papoose269(m): 9:54pm On Mar 05, 2018
lebete3000:


So even when you make decisions that are eventually not profitable to you and the other person- the couple in this situation- you stick to it and continue down the wrong road ba?

Alright.
That's the reason why you need to weigh all the options before arriving at a final decision no matter how long it takes. You just don't jump into conclusion in the heat of the moment. The most annoying part of this whole issue is that you still insist you are right despite the fact that you are wrong.

8 Likes

Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by lebete3000: 9:58pm On Mar 05, 2018
Papoose269:
That's the reason why you need to weigh all the options before arriving at a final decision no matter how long it takes. You just don't jump into conclusion in the heat of the moment.

And you think I jumped into conclusions in the heat of the moment? You want to tell me you haven't taken days to plan a decision only to edit it again? Or you'll say because you've planned it for decades you can't change it again, even if it's glaring it was a wrong decision? Or you think a decision that took years to make is guaranteed of being foolproof?

1 Like

Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by lebete3000: 10:01pm On Mar 05, 2018
In this situation the person isn't even gonna lose anything at all, if for anything they'll even gain more, cos I won't add to the mouths they'll have to feed, I won't add to the faeces in their cesspool. Yet y'all still wanna see it differently. It is well.
Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by lebete3000: 10:05pm On Mar 05, 2018
Well thank you all for your honest contribution, life I believe is all about learning and in this situation, I've learned something new that pisses people off. I'll try my best to adjust. But if I made a decision after planning well and I see a better way, I won't just stick to it head on, I'll appreciate the light and move it's direction by making the right decision. And ofcourse I'll apologize for that too.

Thanks!
Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by Papoose269(m): 10:10pm On Mar 05, 2018
lebete3000:


And you think I jumped into conclusions in the heat of the moment? You want to tell me you haven't taken days to plan a decision only to edit it again? Or you'll say because you've planned it for decades you can't change it again, even if it's glaring it was a wrong decision? Or you think a decision that took years to make is guaranteed of being foolproof?
No bro,when I take time to make a decision I stick to my decision no matter the outcome because life is a teacher and we learn from our actions, I don't have to be right all the time. In this case it's your sister I'm concerned about not you because you are obviously very stubborn and unrepentant. You owe her an apology. That being said, I wish you all the best and goodnight.

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Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by ifex370(m): 10:13pm On Mar 05, 2018
MistadeRegal:
You need deliverance.


How to know you're on a Nigerian thread

3 Likes

Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by Alexk2(m): 10:17pm On Mar 05, 2018
OP, I can feel you're always like this; "feeling always right, too big to apologize for anything even when you're wrong, never willing to accept responsibility or agree you're wrong in disputes btw you and people and quick to blame others for everything no matter how absurd" but I want you to get it straight tonight that such attitudes will keep you unhappy in life as it's insensitive and very selfish. Get out of your shell, give yourself a break from low selfesteem and have a an attitudinal change for good please. God will help you if you allow Him to! Shalom!

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Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by lebete3000: 10:24pm On Mar 05, 2018
Papoose269:
No bro,when I take time to make a decision I stick to my decision no matter the outcome because life is a teacher and we learn from our actions, I don't have to be right all the time. In this case it's your sister I'm concerned about not you because you are obviously very stubborn and unrepentant. You owe her an apology. That being said, I wish you all the best and goodnight.

I put it to you that you only stuck to your decision cos you don't know the outcome yet, if you know you're headed the wrong direction and you insist on continuing the journey cos you don't wanna displease some ppl, then it's your choice.

When I see points I yield, when I don't see 'em I can't yield. May the Lord open my eyes to better see what you're tryna say, till then it's goodnight and gratitude for your input.
Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by Otedollaryen: 10:25pm On Mar 05, 2018
Alexk2:
OP, I can feel you're always like this; "feeling always right, too big to apologize for anything even when you're wrong, never willing to accept responsibility or agree you're wrong in disputes btw you and people and quick to blame others for everything no matter how absurd" but I want you to get it straight tonight that such attitudes will keep you unhappy in life as it's insensitive and very selfish. Get out of your shell, give yourself a break from low selfesteem and have a an attitudinal change for good please. God will help you if you allow Him to! Shalom!
PROPHESY!!
Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by Ovems(f): 10:38pm On Mar 05, 2018
I believe your sister was upset because it won't be easy for her to ask them for help or assistance in the future . The couple won't take her serious again. You do it once, it's OK, but twice? The tone is set.

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Re: Pls Can Someone Tell Me How I've Wronged My Elder Sister by lebete3000: 10:58pm On Mar 05, 2018
Alexk2:
OP, I can feel you're always like this; "feeling always right, too big to apologize for anything even when you're wrong, never willing to accept responsibility or agree you're wrong in disputes btw you and people and quick to blame others for everything no matter how absurd" but I want you to get it straight tonight that such attitudes will keep you unhappy in life as it's insensitive and very selfish. Get out of your shell, give yourself a break from low selfesteem and have a an attitudinal change for good please. God will help you if you allow Him to! Shalom!

As I've said, I'll apologize to the man, even despite not seeing the wrong in what I did. I don't know if that's still pride. Cos a man who has said he'll apologize even on his sister's behalf for something he doesn't see any wrong in, yet he's still termed a selfish and arrogant person. Well it leaves much to be desired.

Perhaps I didn't make myself clear enough cos I actually wanted answers to my question but all I've gotten is insults and more confusion. Typical of man to criticise you and tell you to change, it's a sweet feeling that makes one feel better than others.

May God guide us all...SHALOM.

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