Nairalanders, i need your honest opinion, especially from matured minds that have been in the same situation, how did y'all handled it?
I have a girlfriend, she's 22 and I'm 23. She's in her 200L, i finished my youth service last year, we love each other so much and we'll like to get married to each other.
The problem is, i feel there's a lot i still need to achieve in life as a young man, only son and with younger sisters, and i wouldn't want to keep her waiting for me, i don't see that as being fair enough.
Truth is that i love her and i will like to spend the rest of my life with her, do you think it's advisable for me to stick with her till achieve my goals despite the pressure or just concentrate and probably loose her
This is the toughest decision for me right now.
Advices and critics are all welcomed.

Leaving her to pursue your goal is not a guarantee that you"ll successfully achieve the goal, neither is it a guarantee if you stick with her while pursuing it.

So long as you don't see her as a big distraction and set back in your life, you shouldn't have any problem with her.

And beside, you shouldn't only be worried about achieving your goal, you should aswell direct and lead her to achieve her university goals.

1Kaycee1:
Nairalanders, i need your honest opinion, especially from matured minds that have been in the same situation, how did y'all handled it?
I have a girlfriend, she's 22 and I'm 23. She's in her 200L, i finished my youth service last year, we love each other so much and we'll like to get married to each other.
The problem is, i feel there's a lot i still need to achieve in life as a young man, only son and with younger sisters, and i wouldn't want to keep her waiting for me, i don't see that as being fair enough.
Truth is that i love her and i will like to spend the rest of my life with her, do you think it's advisable for me to stick with her till achieve my goals despite the pressure or just concentrate and probably loose her
This is the toughest decision for me right now.
Advices and critics are all welcomed.

IF YOU TRULY LOVE HER AS YOU SAY AND YOU'RE SURE SHE FEELS SAME PLUS YOU ARE FINANCIALLY OKAY, THEN DON'T WASTE TIME. PUT A RING ON THAT FINGER

And who told you a good woman can't help you achieve your goals fast.

A word is enough for the wise brother.

1. Are you financially steady enough to take care of her and family, if you eventually get married?

2. Are you ready to commit to this young lady for the rest of your life at 23?

3. If you’re not ready to marry her now, are you ready to receive the pressure from her and family in the next 2-3years due to your closeness in age?

4. Are you sure this is love and not lust?

5. Are you mentally prepared to face the challenges that come with marriage/ a serious commitment at 23?

6. Do you still feel the slight urge to explore and live your life before settling down?

7. Are you just genuinely unsure about everything?

Sit down and ask yourself these questions. If your answer to no7 is yes, then you are not ready. Focus on your life you are still very young.

Son, Love is love and can be rekindle with time but ambition can NEVER be rekindle once this time passes so choose one.

Nothing stops you from enjoying what you have now while you work for the future.

You Should Be More Concern About Her Waiting. Is She Patient Enough To Wait For You Achieve Your goals

You will be the third person with a similar problem to come to seek the opinion of nairalanders this week.

This is to show you that a sizable percent of young men are going through similar situation

One thing remains constant in all your stories though. which the fear of the unknown (future)

Well, the answer is always simple, no one can predict the future. So stop worrying about the future for now.

If the said lady (your girlfriend) can't handle the difficult times ahead, she will leave at some stage, without you making any attempt to force her to leave.

On contrary, if she sticks with you and weather the storm, then you have yourself a rare gem that most people desire.

Well, the truth is nobody has the answer, there is no golden rule. I've seen ppl marrying very young n it worked for them and I've seen the one that lasted few yrs.
If u are financially secured and u think u are matured enough for her theatrics that is to come, no prob, go ahead. U can achieve anything either as single or married.... But, do not marry out of pressure or out of "I don't want to disappoint". Marry, because u want to!!!

greiboy:
You will be the third person with a similar problem to come to seek the opinion of nairalanders this week.

This is to show you that a sizable percent of young men are going through similar situation

One thing remains constant in all your stories though. which the fear of the unknown (future)

Well, the answer is always simple, no one can predict the future. So stop worrying about the future for now.

If the said lady (your girlfriend) can't handle the difficult times ahead, she will leave at some stage, without you making any attempt to force her to leave.

On contrary, if she sticks with you and weather the storm, then you have yourself a rare gem that most people desire.

. Words of wisdom.

what make's you think you will achieve all your goals if you leave her...
how fast do you think you can achieve your goal's...
if you don't achieve all your goal's are you saying you won't settle down..
dude my best advice call your gf sit her down and tell her what's on your mind because any decision you make affects both of you..
tell her and her answer will determine your next step

donstan18:
Leaving her to pursue your goal is not a guarantee that you"ll successfully achieve the goal, neither is it a guarantee if you stick with her while pursuing it.


So long as you don't see her as a big distraction and set back in your life, you shouldn't have any problem with her.

And beside, you shouldn't only be worried about achieving your goal, you should aswell direct and lead her to achieve her university goals.

☣ ☠


∆ You got me on this! ∆



☣ ☠

Future first

If you want to be successful, stick to one lady. But that doesn't mean she will be the one at the end, in you quest to achieving success, still look around you, you never know, the miss right might be out there. Don't go jumping from on girl to another, girls are destiny killers

I want to believe if you truly love her as you said, you won't be thinking of leaving her.

Don't you know you can both achieve your dreams and purpose in life together? Except of course, if both of you ain't compatible.

It would even make you more focus and not get distracted by going after different women as you move on in life.

So, I suggest you think about it, plan it and pray (if you believe in it) about it before making the decision.

Wish you all the best.