Welcome, Guest: Join Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 2,525,281 members, 5,779,687 topics. Date: Sunday, 09 August 2020 at 08:40 PM

Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction - Romance - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction (41646 Views)

Do I Go Ahead With My Plans for Her? / My Fiancee Betrayed Me: Should I Go Ahead With The Marriage Plans? / Advice Needed.. Should I Quit Or Remain In This Kind Of Relationship (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (Reply) (Go Down)

Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by Lisabi01: 9:07am On Aug 02
Good morning family. I need your advice. This post might be long. Kindly ignore my jargons.

I and my fiancée have been dating for years now (childhood love). 4 years ago, we broke up for like a year due to her infidelity. During that time, I was with different girls who are worse, except a girl (Bisi) who was a friend then, and was in a relationship as at then (I'll come back to this).

Back to 4 years ago, after we (i and my fiancée)broke up, things starts falling in its place, and I started living large. It all ended after we got back together, and I was back to square one. I thought it was because I was still in school, but it continued after school.

I met another girl last year, we were just friends, no strings attached. This girl told me that I have a problem, and that I'm not bothered about it. My response was that we all have different problem and that this was my trying times. She responded saying "is this how your life was few years ago?" She asked me to go out to a pastor and make my own findings. I've never seen this girl prior to this, we just talk on phone.

As per her advice, I went out to seek for a divine solution (I never believed in seeking spiritual solution from a pastor, Alfa or a traditional worshiper, but I did this time around). I was told that when things was good for me, I had a girl that I dated throughout that time, and that I should try and connect her again. I thought about it, and they were actually right. It was when I stopped calling this girl that things went south for me. I told them I don't have any connection with her again and that i can't connect her. I was later told to be observant, and that I'll meet another girl, and that thing will change for me.

Back to my friend, Bisi..... She was in an open relationship. I envied their relationship then, and I was crushing on her secretly ( I and my fiancée wasn't together then). I met Bisi recently and she told me she broke up with her boyfriend. We became friends again, and we started getting closer. She doesn't live in my town, and we don't see at all because I don't have the time. But I noticed she's all I want in a woman, and since I met her, my pocket never runs dry. I don't have that intention of dating her at first until I noticed my pocket.

Now that I'm engaged, my introduction is coming up soon, and my extended family members and my fiancée's are all aware of the date. I should have done the introduction months ago before this pandemic, but my fiancée said some hurtful and hateful words to me which I still remember and I'm still keeping it to myself. She also have some attitudes I've been correcting but never takes to correction.

I know you'll say when I noticed all the above, why can't i bail out? There's a saying : the devil you've known for long is better than an angel you just met. She's that devil I've known for long and she's been known and has the support of family and friends.
You'll also ask: will they live together with us? My answer is so dumb cos I thought I can't find anybody better than her, even though my pocket runs dry. And one of the pastors said things will get better with her.

The dilemma I'm in now is should I put the introduction on hold, or I should go ahead with it for further observation on Bisi, or I should just carry my cross and work things out with my fiancée.... A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage, so they say.

Insults are welcomed, just for me to be a better me.

NB: I'm not in a relationship with Bisi (not her real name)

11 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by Assurance001(f): 9:12am On Aug 02
Op you have summarized the whole episode with these;
A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage and
The devil you know is better than the angel you don't know.
But note that some women tends to bring good luck while some the opposite after marriage. Why not go on your knees and seek God's direction and if you have made up your mind with your fiancée then introduce her to Bisi since you said you're not in a relationship with her thereby maintaining your relationship with Bisi. Remember buying her gifts once in a while won't be bad.
The best of luck.
Nairalanders may we always meet people that will have positive impact in our lives and let the ones that will wreck us be far from us. Happy Sunday and God bless us all.

164 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by rapcy(m): 9:13am On Aug 02
Your mata confuse me sef.

While in love, make sure you don't skip logical thoughts for illogical ones. Marriage is till death do us path, make sure you marry the lady that's reasonable, a lady that fits into your future plan.

If you go carry person wey no gree change now because you dey fell say she go change after marriage, your eyes go chi sumtin, you go know say Devil Na always devil and Angel Na always angel.

106 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by jogsman01(m): 9:13am On Aug 02
Hurtful and hateful words from your so called fiancée? it is well with you, my guy!

17 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by SweetCunt97(f): 9:23am On Aug 02
The devil you know is not always better than the angel you don't know oo. Marry ur fiancée and be saddled with misfortunes. You may end up giving up before ur time and in penury.

But if you feel she's d one, go ahead but you'll need to have a stronger spirit to hold down d Forte.

43 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by GboyegaD(m): 9:25am On Aug 02
If you think Bisi is your best choice then go for her. You know better and as regards your pocket and the pastor you sought, I hope it isn't your mind playing tricks on you.
Please put the introduction on hold at the moment and search within yourself on the most peaceful decision as regards your choice.

I wish you the best.

20 Likes

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by Archtype(m): 9:59am On Aug 02
Assurance001:
Op you have summarized the whole episode with these;
A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage and
The devil you know is better than the angel you don't know.
But note that some women tends to bring good luck while some the opposite after marriage. Why not go on your knees and seek God's direction and if you have made up your mind with your fiancée then introduce her to Bisi since you said you're not in a relationship with her thereby maintaining your relationship with Bisi. Remember buying her gifts once in a while won't be bad.
The best of luck.
Nairalanders may we always meet people that will have positive impact in our lives and let the ones that will wreck us be far from us. Happy Sunday and God bless us all.
I am falling in Love already cos of this

2 Likes

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by Lisabi01: 10:29am On Aug 02
Assurance001:
Op you have summarized the whole episode with these;
A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage and
The devil you know is better than the angel you don't know.
But note that some women tends to bring good luck while some the opposite after marriage. Why not go on your knees and seek God's direction and if you have made up your mind with your fiancée then introduce her to Bisi since you said you're not in a relationship with her thereby maintaining your relationship with Bisi. Remember buying her gifts once in a while won't be bad.
The best of luck.
Nairalanders may we always meet people that will have positive impact in our lives and let the ones that will wreck us be far from us. Happy Sunday and God bless us all.
Thanks for the above. I said in the post that she said some hurtful words like she can't live with me in penury. I never considered this. I'm still struggling, and planning to leave this country soon. But my sponsor, ie my parent said my wife should be pregnant before I travel. That's why I'm rushing things before I met Bisi. I'm really confused ma'am

2 Likes

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by willanderson: 11:00am On Aug 02
Lisabi01:
Good morning family. I need your advice. This post might be long. Kindly ignore my jargons.

I and my fiancée have been dating for years now (childhood love). 4 years ago, we broke up for like a year due to her infidelity. During that time, I was with different girls who are worse, except a girl (Bisi) who was a friend then, and was in a relationship as at then (I'll come back to this).

Back to 4 years ago, after we (i and my fiancée)broke up, things starts falling in its place, and I started living large. It all ended after we got back together, and I was back to square one. I thought it was because I was still in school, but it continued after school.

I met another girl last year, we were just friends, no strings attached. This girl told me that I have a problem, and that I'm not bothered about it. My response was that we all have different problem and that this was my trying times. She responded saying "is this how your life was few years ago?" She asked me to go out to a pastor and make my own findings. I've never seen this girl prior to this, we just talk on phone.

As per her advice, I went out to seek for a divine solution (I never believed in seeking spiritual solution from a pastor, Alfa or a traditional worshiper, but I did this time around). I was told that when things was good for me, I had a girl that I dated throughout that time, and that I should try and connect her again. I thought about it, and they were actually right. It was when I stopped calling this girl that things went south for me. I told them I don't have any connection with her again and that i can't connect her. I was later told to be observant, and that I'll meet another girl, and that thing will change for me.

Back to my friend, Bisi..... She was in an open relationship. I envied their relationship then, and I was crushing on her secretly ( I and my fiancée wasn't together then). I met Bisi recently and she told me she broke up with her boyfriend. We became friends again, and we started getting closer. She doesn't live in my town, and we don't see at all because I don't have the time. But I noticed she's all I want in a woman, and since I met her, my pocket never runs dry. I don't have that intention of dating her at first until I noticed my pocket.

Now that I'm engaged, my introduction is coming up soon, and my extended family members and my fiancée's are all aware of the date. I should have done the introduction months ago before this pandemic, but my fiancée said some hurtful and hateful words to me which I still remember and I'm still keeping it to myself. She also have some attitudes I've been correcting but never takes to correction.

I know you'll say when I noticed all the above, why can't i bail out? There's a saying : the devil you've known for long is better than an angel you just met. She's that devil I've known for long and she's been known and has the support of family and friends.
You'll also ask: will they live together with us? My answer is so dumb cos I thought I can't find anybody better than her, even though my pocket runs dry. And one of the pastors said things will get better with her.

The dilemma I'm in now is should I put the introduction on hold, or I should go ahead with it for further observation on Bisi, or I should just carry my cross and work things out with my fiancée.... A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage, so they say.

Insults are welcomed, just for me to be a better me.

NB: I'm not in a relationship with Bisi (not her real name)

First of all your fiancé cheat on u n you took her back with the excuse of the devil. Wait till you get married to her she will put you 6ft below. Secondly you have self esteem issues by thinking you can’t get a better girl than her and your excuse is she’s the source to your progress.
Drop this beta cuck mindset n take time off relationships to learn about yourself n free the slut of a fiancée. Daummm bro you are a real disgrace to manhood.

53 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by lenghtinny(m): 11:21am On Aug 02
So your pocket dey fluctuate like seasonal variations base on the girls you date and don’t date.... Sounds more like a yorubawood script.....

Anyways, all I can say is never marry out of pity or what people will say.....

It will end in premium tears for you and anything premium is always over the top angry

49 Likes

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by Danielomisco(m): 11:26am On Aug 02
Mehn self esteem issues oh,who is rushing u bro?So u want to give ur lofe time for settling for less,why r u marrying if its nt a joyous something? Men rethink ur life is at stake here.Goodluck

3 Likes

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by Pubichairs(m): 11:35am On Aug 02
cheesy

I rather stick to the one that brings good fortune to me...

Since ur finacee brings dry pocket to u, my brother flee, and build ur love around Bisi..

If u get married to that ur fiancee and funds stops coming, U will receive a great shock from her...

18 Likes 1 Share

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by SeniorGee(m): 11:46am On Aug 02
Break up the engagement. If she says hurtful words to you now don't think she will change. It will only get worse. Plus her badluck..
Get the one that has good fortune with her, at least you'll be favoured.

5 Likes

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by Headlesschicken(m): 12:02pm On Aug 02
undecided It might end in tear's.. What you cannot change in a relationship you cannot change in marriage....

7 Likes

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by jamalnation(m): 12:21pm On Aug 02
I have nothing to say OP,
i got lost at the mid point of your story

5 Likes

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by SavageBoy: 12:23pm On Aug 02
Guy you already know what you want. You never said your fiancée is all you want in a woman, but you said Bisi is. You know the right person for you and the necessary steps to take but you don't have the balls to do it because of "FEAR"; fear of disappointing your family and friends

Don't marry anyone because of promise or any kind of pity whatsoever, and the statement that " the devil you know is better than the Angel you don't know" is very very wrong,it isn't always true.Your fiancée is the one everyone see as your wife to be, but in your heart and mind it's Bisi you see and really want as wife

If you don't brace yourself up and do the right thing now,you will regret it forever

18 Likes 1 Share

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by lereinter(m): 1:32pm On Aug 02
Explain how dating bisi brought you fat pocket

Was she giving you money?

Because I just see you as a stucked womaniser

13 Likes

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by Jh0wsef(m): 1:39pm On Aug 02
Ok
Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by Cryptofxt10: 1:40pm On Aug 02
Wow.
Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by Frankyboy1(m): 1:40pm On Aug 02
You, the Alfa, bisi, your fiancée, your pocket, are all mad! Must your destiny be connected to women? You came into this world alone,and you alone is responsible for your fate and the outcome of your life

29 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by Kylekent59: 1:40pm On Aug 02
grin

I would advise you to ignore all the girls you had had relationship with before and currently.


Find a new lover and make her your gold.

1 Like

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by Flexherbal(m): 1:41pm On Aug 02
When it comes to marriage, I leave the decisions for the parties involved , to make.

We can only come in to help with our herbs, when there are sperm issues and erectile dysfunction.

https://www.nairaland.com/3152927/testimonies-100-herbal-tea-cures#46368527

1 Like

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by rindeog: 1:41pm On Aug 02
u already knew where u r heading to; don't just ask us for asking sake...

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by obi4eze: 1:41pm On Aug 02
angry

Oga this your story isn't complete.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by yanabasee1(m): 1:41pm On Aug 02
There's no such things as good luck from the people you are dating....


You should know that, your efforts works things out for you at the right time. And your prayers see you through.


About your confusion, you alone know what you want. You should never be afraid to make any decision that you feel you ought to make.


I was dating a girl like that and I was always afraid to leave her, I never knew any other girl accept her. I was always holding on to her being better than the devil I don't know. Baba, when I finally took that step to date another girl...life became very easy and smooth.

If your fiancee is someone you know that you aren't entirely convinced with, baba move on. Infidelity no the get break time, the thing deh her blood.

4 Likes

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by bunnaes: 1:42pm On Aug 02
Your story is too long, update us when you write a shorter version.

Meanwhile, crownedrookie = bunnae = Aududunine11 = GentRoyal = moreb2cum = homo!

2 Likes

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by cuba62(m): 1:42pm On Aug 02
Ok
Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by paulolee(m): 1:42pm On Aug 02
any mistake you make in this life, don't ever try to think about taking a girl to the church out of pity, maybe because you promised her earlier, you once loved her or because you think things would get well during marriage....dts a lie

1 Like

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by wonder233: 1:42pm On Aug 02
Don't marry her. These girls are not worth it. When it even as much as becomes something you have to 'consider', then don't go ahead with it. It sounds funny, but there are actually good girls out there...but the overwhelming majority are already damaged goods and are trying to force guys to be marrying them like that as the new normal.

4 Likes

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by humblyphilip: 1:43pm On Aug 02
Advice yourself, even if we do, you won't follow it, only you know yourself
Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by Braintrain: 1:43pm On Aug 02
Wait I command you to like this post

2 Likes

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (Reply)

Lady Poses Unclad For Her Boyfriend’s Birthday On Facebook (photos) / She Slept With My Best Buddy And Expects Me To End Friendship With Him. / 7 Ways Poor Guys Survive Without A Girlfriend

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2020 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 194
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.