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I Am Emotional Abused By My Spouse, What Shall I Do? - Family - Nairaland

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I Am Emotional Abused By My Spouse, What Shall I Do? by bummyla(m): 12:10am On Mar 20, 2018
My Fiancee is fond of making me angry. She takes pleasure in seeing me angry! I think it empowers her somehow!! She like the kind of power it gives her over me.

And I noticed she does not apology when she does so, which is becoming too frequent these days.

She thinks she is irreplaceable, before we both claimed we heard from God concerning our being joined together as Husband & Wife.

I am tired of reporting her to third parties to talk to her.

I am also tired of threatening to call off the wedding, if her new found attitude persists.

I am tired of correcting and warning her.

I just want to enjoy my marriage & my relationship with her.

I just want a Happy Home!

I have told her times without number that the one thing I want & I need from her is just[b] RESPECT[/b]!

I am not asking for too much!

I did not have a cordial relationship with my mom, my elder sister and almost all my aunties, throughout my childhood, till I left home!!

Became independent of them, and started making some money.

Now I am there favorite!

Now my mom & sister tell me how much they love me!

When I needed to hear or to feel the warmth of their love!

All I ever got from them while growing up, were their razor sharp tongues and beatings.

I wish not to have such relationship with my spouse.

I do not want to resent coming back home everyday, till death do us part.

The last 10 years of my life have been the best years of my life, and I pray it continues like that. But I am emotional abused by my wife to be.

I noticed she is suddenly threatened by my statues, little fortune and fame.

I have never lord it over her! But the sweet little girl I proposed to has disappeared, now I am dealing with her alter ego!

She condemns, disapproves, criticisms and disobeys me at all times. Not because my ideals or suggestions are not good enough or that she has a better alternatives.

But just to prove to me that I can not control her.

If she doesn't have her way, she will start rebelling. It must be her way or no other way. Most times she does that out of spite.

Everybody loves her, everybody sees her as the Saint.

While because of my looks and built I am easily tagged the Beast!

She always provoke me to try to hit her, mostly whenever we are in the public or after having a good time. Like She is a Joy Killer! She was not like this before. Just suddenly changed to an emotional tormentor!

But I have promised My GOD I will never hit a lady, talk-less of my wife, after the last lady I beat fainted about 20 years ago. Thank GOD she did not die.

I wonder if this marriage will last.

She fears everybody but me. She dares me a lot. And she does that in subtle ways. So most times friends sees me walking away in angry or losing my cool, while she remain cool & calculative.

Now more and more people are saying I have angry issues. Only few cares to know why the sudden change!

I think she is afraid of being in a good relationship, where she is loved unconditional!

So she is working very hard to destroy what brings her joy.

Should I continue with our wedding plans? which I now do solo! For the sake of the peace of my mind! Because she condemns everything plan I make, but doesn't want to take charge of the planning herself!

Will she ever be repentant and come to her senses!?

I don't want to die before my time!

Please matured suggestions!

https://www.bummyla.com
Re: I Am Emotional Abused By My Spouse, What Shall I Do? by Ahmed0336(m): 12:39am On Mar 20, 2018
Better a failed relationship than a failed marriage is all I can say bro. No be you b d first to call off wedding my brother if u forge ahead and marry no come back here later to complain say u no see these signs marriage no be play.

3 Likes

Re: I Am Emotional Abused By My Spouse, What Shall I Do? by Nobody: 12:40am On Mar 20, 2018
You bloggers and your fake stories just to make people click on your blogs.

3 Likes

Re: I Am Emotional Abused By My Spouse, What Shall I Do? by adadike(f): 12:44am On Mar 20, 2018
Continue to baby -sit her and she will continue to treat u like her maid. The day you show her who is d real boss is d day she will start respecting u and if it fails, dump her immediately. This life is just one and it had no duplicate. Don't live d better part of your life in sorrow and finally , go for deliverance!
Re: I Am Emotional Abused By My Spouse, What Shall I Do? by qmd24(m): 1:04am On Mar 20, 2018
Run for your life.
Re: I Am Emotional Abused By My Spouse, What Shall I Do? by Nobody: 1:06am On Mar 20, 2018
A WOMAN WHO IS HAPPY WHEN HER SO CALLED FIANCE IS ANGRY......
IS DAT ONE A WOMAN?
Re: I Am Emotional Abused By My Spouse, What Shall I Do? by kiddoiLL(m): 1:12am On Mar 20, 2018
bummyla:


I am also tired of threatening to call off the wedding, if her new found attitude persists.

Should I continue with our wedding plans?



You are still asking?

2 Likes

Re: I Am Emotional Abused By My Spouse, What Shall I Do? by bummyla(m): 4:22am On Mar 20, 2018
Ahmed0336:
Better a failed relationship than a failed marriage is all I can say bro. No be you b d first to call off wedding my brother if u forge ahead and marry no come back here later to complain say u no see these signs marriage no be play.

Thanks for your advise!
Re: I Am Emotional Abused By My Spouse, What Shall I Do? by bummyla(m): 4:24am On Mar 20, 2018
adadike:
Continue to baby -sit her and she will continue to treat u like her maid. The day you show her who is d real boss is d day she will start respecting u and if it fails, dump her immediately. This life is just one and it had no duplicate. Don't live d better part of your life in sorrow and finally , go for deliverance!

Thanks!
Re: I Am Emotional Abused By My Spouse, What Shall I Do? by Nobody: 5:48am On Mar 20, 2018
Sorry bro, you're probably dating another cee-c, like the one presently in bbnaija. When I see such women, I run. They're trouble!
Re: I Am Emotional Abused By My Spouse, What Shall I Do? by pcguru1(m): 9:11am On Mar 20, 2018
Marriage is a synonym for being miserable, so there's nothing out of place.

2 Likes

Re: I Am Emotional Abused By My Spouse, What Shall I Do? by bummyla(m): 10:42am On Mar 20, 2018
I need to start watching BBNaija! Never watched an episode! Thanks Bros!
Re: I Am Emotional Abused By My Spouse, What Shall I Do? by Fortissimo502: 11:57pm On Mar 20, 2018
aflyingbird:
You bloggers and your fake stories just to make people click on your blogs.

So annoying.
Re: I Am Emotional Abused By My Spouse, What Shall I Do? by TheeDetective: 12:33am On Mar 21, 2018
Una don start with una lies again abi? The amount of time una dey use take cook up fake story, can be used to do other profitable things.

1 Like

Re: I Am Emotional Abused By My Spouse, What Shall I Do? by themayor4542(m): 12:11pm On Mar 22, 2018
Ahmed0336:
Better a failed relationship than a failed marriage is all I can say bro. No be you b d first to call off wedding my brother if u forge ahead and marry no come back here later to complain say u no see these signs marriage no be play.
Well said bro. Well said.




Mean while, I have over 1000 mature Broilers available for sale. With average weight of 3.2
Price is 2800. Location is Sango Ota. contact - 07035071009.

1 Like

Re: I Am Emotional Abused By My Spouse, What Shall I Do? by MiddleDimension: 8:46pm On Mar 22, 2018
bummyla:
My Fiancee is fond of making me angry. She takes pleasure in seeing me angry! I think it empowers her somehow!! She like the kind of power it gives her over me.

And I noticed she does not apology when she does so, which is becoming too frequent these days.

She thinks she is irreplaceable, before we both claimed we heard from God concerning our being joined together as Husband & Wife.

I am tired of reporting her to third parties to talk to her.

I am also tired of threatening to call off the wedding, if her new found attitude persists.

I am tired of correcting and warning her.

I just want to enjoy my marriage & my relationship with her.

I just want a Happy Home!

I have told her times without number that the one thing I want & I need from her is just[b] RESPECT[/b]!

I am not asking for too much!

I did not have a cordial relationship with my mom, my elder sister and almost all my aunties, throughout my childhood, till I left home!!

Became independent of them, and started making some money.

Now I am there favorite!

Now my mom & sister tell me how much they love me!

When I needed to hear or to feel the warmth of their love!

All I ever got from them while growing up, were their razor sharp tongues and beatings.

I wish not to have such relationship with my spouse.

I do not want to resent coming back home everyday, till death do us part.

The last 10 years of my life have been the best years of my life, and I pray it continues like that. But I am emotional abused by my wife to be.

I noticed she is suddenly threatened by my statues, little fortune and fame.

I have never lord it over her! But the sweet little girl I proposed to has disappeared, now I am dealing with her alter ego!

She condemns, disapproves, criticisms and disobeys me at all times. Not because my ideals or suggestions are not good enough or that she has a better alternatives.

But just to prove to me that I can not control her.

If she doesn't have her way, she will start rebelling. It must be her way or no other way. Most times she does that out of spite.

Everybody loves her, everybody sees her as the Saint.

While because of my looks and built I am easily tagged the Beast!

She always provoke me to try to hit her, mostly whenever we are in the public or after having a good time. Like She is a Joy Killer! She was not like this before. Just suddenly changed to an emotional tormentor!

But I have promised My GOD I will never hit a lady, talk-less of my wife, after the last lady I beat fainted about 20 years ago. Thank GOD she did not die.

I wonder if this marriage will last.

She fears everybody but me. She dares me a lot. And she does that in subtle ways. So most times friends sees me walking away in angry or losing my cool, while she remain cool & calculative.

Now more and more people are saying I have angry issues. Only few cares to know why the sudden change!

I think she is afraid of being in a good relationship, where she is loved unconditional!

So she is working very hard to destroy what brings her joy.

Should I continue with our wedding plans? which I now do solo! For the sake of the peace of my mind! Because she condemns everything plan I make, but doesn't want to take charge of the planning herself!

Will she ever be repentant and come to her senses!?

I don't want to die before my time!

Please matured suggestions!

https://www.bummyla.com





my dear, call off that relationship or whatever you call it. truth is if you go ahead and marry her, she will ontinue her behaviour and it will get to a point that you would beat her up and people would start calling you he shameful name ''wife beater''. she can even reprt you to the police and th will jail you. no one will listen to the fact that you have been complaining. people believe that women have the freedom to abuse men and men should not retaliate. when you lift your hand to hit her, they will tell you you are not matue emotionally. they quickly forget the fact that you have been taking it all the while. the society gives women the go ahead to behave badly and assures them that there is no consequence. when office for domestic violence, which it is actually an office for violence against women, is set up, means we are funding women's bad behavior with public fund. how lower can we decend as a civilization? to tell a grown adult female with a bushy vaginaaaaaaa hair that there are no consequencies for action?

who hurts a person the claim they love? just tell me who that person is! @cococandy @sagamite

1 Like

Re: I Am Emotional Abused By My Spouse, What Shall I Do? by bummyla(m): 9:25pm On Mar 22, 2018
MiddleDimension:



my dear, call off that relationship or whatever you call it. truth is if you go ahead and marry her, she will ontinue her behaviour and it will get to a point that you would beat her up and people would start calling you he shameful name ''wife beater''. she can even reprt you to the police and th will jail you. no one will listen to the fact that you have been complaining. people believe that women have the freedom to abuse men and men should not retaliate. when you lift your hand to hit her, they will tell you you are not matue emotionally. they quickly forget the fact that you have been taking it all the while. the society gives women the go ahead to behave badly and assures them that there is no consequence. when office for domestic violence, which it is actually an office for violence against women, is set up, means we are funding women's bad behavior with public fund. how lower can we decend as a civilization? to tell a grown adult female with a bushy vaginaaaaaaa hair that there are no consequencies for action?


Thanks a lot
who hurts a person the claim they love? just tell me who that person is! @cococandy @sagamite
Re: I Am Emotional Abused By My Spouse, What Shall I Do? by Nobody: 6:24am On Mar 23, 2018
Run for your life! I left my marriage of 1year cos of these!
Re: I Am Emotional Abused By My Spouse, What Shall I Do? by bummyla(m): 11:06am On Mar 23, 2018
So painful! It is well! https://www.bummyla.com

Pipedreams:
Run for your life! I left my marriage of 1year cos of these!
Re: I Am Emotional Abused By My Spouse, What Shall I Do? by Sagamite(m): 2:14pm On Mar 23, 2018
MiddleDimension:

my dear, call off that relationship or whatever you call it. truth is if you go ahead and marry her, she will ontinue her behaviour and it will get to a point that you would beat her up and people would start calling you he shameful name ''wife beater''. she can even reprt you to the police and th will jail you. no one will listen to the fact that you have been complaining. people believe that women have the freedom to abuse men and men should not retaliate. when you lift your hand to hit her, they will tell you you are not matue emotionally. they quickly forget the fact that you have been taking it all the while. the society gives women the go ahead to behave badly and assures them that there is no consequence. when office for domestic violence, which it is actually an office for violence against women, is set up, means we are funding women's bad behavior with public fund. how lower can we decend as a civilization? to tell a grown adult female with a bushy vaginaaaaaaa hair that there are no consequencies for action?

who hurts a person the claim they love? just tell me who that person is! @cococandy @sagamite

bummyla:
My Fiancee is fond of making me angry. She takes pleasure in seeing me angry! I think it empowers her somehow!! She like the kind of power it gives her over me.

And I noticed she does not apology when she does so, which is becoming too frequent these days.

She thinks she is irreplaceable, before we both claimed we heard from God concerning our being joined together as Husband & Wife.

I am tired of reporting her to third parties to talk to her.

I am also tired of threatening to call off the wedding, if her new found attitude persists.

I am tired of correcting and warning her.

As I am a happiness fanatic, I will always tell you to end it.

I have no time and interests for persistent arguments. And as I have said previously on NL, I will NEVER go to a marriage counsellor. Fck that!

If she wants to go, let her go.

What I want from a partner is good connection, banter, jokes, caressing, going out, loving behaviours, great conversations, holidays together, reasonably different personalities, selflessness and good passionate fuku faka.

I am very focused and clear on what I want. It really is not rocket science.

Any girl that wants to continuously argue is free to move on. I have no interest in that. I make it clear implicitly and explicitly that I don't like that or I am not into that once it starts occurring, and if my message is not being received and processed, I will leave.

I never hit. Don't do domestic abuse. I just leave.

A girl that wants to provoke you or always want to fight you is not right for you. Period! It is a no-brainer for me.

Worse still when she is fcking too proud to apologise when she is wrong and knows she is the one on the wrong.

I am not saying there should never be arguments in a relationship, that is normal and healthy. But for one person to always want to be the one to rock the boat and poison the connection, not acceptable.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Emotional Abused By My Spouse, What Shall I Do? by bummyla(m): 2:27pm On Mar 23, 2018
Thanks a lot!

Sagamite:




As I am a happiness fanatic, I will always tell you to end it.

I have no time and interests for persistent arguments. And as I have said previously on NL, I will NEVER go to a marriage counsellor. Fck that!

If she wants to go, let her go.

What I want from a partner is good connection, banter, jokes, caressing, going out, loving behaviours, great conversations, holidays together, reasonably different personalities, selflessness and good passionate fuku faka.

I am very focused and clear on what I want. It really is not rocket science.

Any girl that wants to continuously argue is free to move on. I have no interest in that. I make it clear implicitly and explicitly that I don't like that or I am not into that once it starts occurring, and if my message is not being received and processed, I will leave.

I never hit. Don't do domestic abuse. I just leave.

A girl that wants to provoke you or always want to fight you is not right for you. Period! It is a no-brainer for me.

Worse still when she is fcking too proud to apologise when she is wrong and knows she is the one on the wrong.

I am not saying there should never be arguments in a relationship, that is normal and healthy. But for one person to always want to be the one to rock the boat and poison the connection, not acceptable.
Re: I Am Emotional Abused By My Spouse, What Shall I Do? by Temibabie(f): 10:27pm On Mar 25, 2018
Pipedreams:
Run for your life! I left my marriage of 1year cos of these!

Ah.... Some things I read and see scares me bout marriage,what if you were not doing something right?not judging you,just saying or maybe she got to know you were hiding something
Re: I Am Emotional Abused By My Spouse, What Shall I Do? by ifyan(m): 10:58pm On Mar 25, 2018
Are you a man or sissy?

Why allowing such attitude from a lady or are you scared been tagged whatever name the society will give you if you don't stand as a man.

Man up and trust me many women wish to have sissy like you in their life.

1 Like

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