Hello guys...

There's this lady we started dating in July 2015 ( while we were undergraduate) and we are heading towards our 3rd year together. She's a well behaved, disciplined girl. She's very nice to me and always assist me whenever I need something while we were in school. In fact, she possess all the good qualities a lady should have. #WifeMaterial. But the problem are as follows.

1. Ever since I've known her, she's a mummy's and daddy's pet, Always carrying her parents along with whatever that's happening to her life. Though, the mom is aware that she's in a relationship with me,but I've not met her in person neither have we talked on the phone.

2. Our backgrounds are different, I come from a poor home where I have to train myself at school, learnt many handwork and improved myself. I'm an enterprising guy. But for three years now, I've been Begging her to learn something, but she'll always give excuses telling me that she'll learn soon till date, she never learn anything. As an enterprising guy that I am, I wish to marry an enterprising lady, but her none enterprising skills is turning me off, rather she wants a 9-5 government Job.

3. Though she's been with me in my hard times, and for three years now, I never had sex with her. In which other ladies will come around and give me sex. Well, am not pissed about the fact that she did not giving me sex, but I'm pissed that she's not romantic at all (Even to hug her nah sin). I happen to be a street guy while growing up, but she's "AN OMO GET INSIDE" type of child. These background difference has caused a lot of commotion between us. Besides, she's not strong physically and She'll fall weak at the slightest of stress( she's not a sickler patient)

4. I've discussed all these with her, but she's not telling me that she'll improve, rather she's telling me that its her nature. She even have a lot of things to learn from the streets. Meanwhile, she want us to get married on time in the next 3-4 years whereas me I can't rush into marriage because I want to take Care of my mother and siblings at least.

Conclusively, I love the girl because she's a good and well behaved girl but its as if she's good to me, but not good for me... PLS I NEED MATURED ADVICE ONLY....


mods, biko front page

wait lt me arrange chair for our senior colleagues in romance land as they gt de to come and deliberate on this matter.
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ilegend
xxxteddyxxx
hardon
etc
make una come chair this deliberation, one of our alpha male needs u guys

Nothing much to say to you than follow your heart.

This morning again?. Searching for the down hearted op brain like

mmm,mum's pet at what age exactly?
she needs to learn alot,but she seems to be reluctant about it.

You are indeed confused.

You met a decent, well mannered and behaved woman from a well to do family, and you want her to turn to ajekpako like Nkechi and Funke you have fvcking in your ghetto street.

Tell us why we should see you as a sensible man

You want her to be ajekpako, so that she will be able to give you bl0wjob wherever you want it, even if na under staircase.


She's not enterprising, your type will force Dangote's daughter to learn mechanic work for enterprising sake.

Enterprising kor, Baptizing ni.

C'omon komot for here

Preshy561:
mmm,mum's pet at what age exactly?
she needs to learn alot,but she seems to be reluctant about it.

She's 23, and she really reluctant about learning some reality of life

Ahmed0336:
Nothing much to say to you than follow your heart.

Hmmm... I'm confused

This kinda girl will be very lazy on bed. Fvck for 3 minutes she’s already crying and threatening to faint if you don’t stop.

3years and no fvck?

Jamesrock:


Hmmm... I'm confused

1. You said she is mummy and daddy's pet. Is she the last born or the first born or the only child. If she is either any one of these then there is no problem being a mummy's and daddy's pet, she is a girl for goodness sake. You can simply decide that when you guys get married that all that will stop. The only real problem should be if she starts allowing her parents decision to dominate the relationship.

2. What is wrong with you sef, are you forcing her to be who she isn't. Her parents have trained her to rely on them and she has been like that for 20 years and just because she is with you for just 3 years you want to change all that. My friend, don't bring your poverty mentality close to her but think differently, her parents provide for her so she has no need to seek out enterprises. She told you that it is her nature which is totally true and as her bf, you are supposed to respect that. Then take it upon yourself to coach her in any handwork you want her to learn, stop advising her and expecting her to do it, that is not how she was trained. Instead, explain the reasons to her and put in painstaking hours to make sure she learns something, that is what lovers do (na you talk say you love am just now)

3. Young man, you can't expect a woman to be romantic except you bring out that side of her. Have you ever seen Nigerian girls asking a boy out... I advise you to not put sex on your mind too much because if you make her do it against her will, it will change your relationship forever. Instead, behave like a lover and not like a pussy, teach her how to be romantic, teach her how to feed you, pet you and cuddle you just the same way you do to her... I taught my ex how to suck dic.k and she became a pro before we broke up, so its up to you...

4. Dont' force her into the streets because you are a street guy, if you do, my guy, you will not be able to control her ever again.. Right now, I don't expect you to have marriage on your mind or expect it to weigh you down. She isn't forcing you to get married to her, but just suggesting and you can also decide to marry her in 5 years time or 10 years time, she will wait. Please stop behaving like a pussy.

Jamesrock:


She's 23, and she really reluctant about learning some reality of life

at that age and still doing mommy's pet... a shame! I Wouldnt Dare Date Such Unbended child... She Is Not Willing To Learn... To Me She Is Dum ass

stupidity:
This kinda girl will be very lazy on bed. Fvck for 3 minutes she’s already crying and threatening to faint if you don’t stop.

3years and no fvck?

its not always about sex

TheNigerianMan:


1. You said she is mummy and daddy's pet. Is she the last born or the first born or the only child. If she is either any one of these then there is no problem being a mummy's and daddy's pet, she is a girl for goodness sake. You can simply decide that when you guys get married that all that will stop. The only real problem should be if she starts allowing her parents decision to dominate the relationship.

2. What is wrong with you sef, are you forcing her to be who she isn't. Her parents have trained her to rely on them and she has been like that for 20 years and just because she is with you for just 3 years you want to change all that. My friend, don't bring your poverty mentality close to her but think differently, her parents provide for her so she has no need to seek out enterprises. She told you that it is her nature which is totally true and as her bf, you are supposed to respect that. Then take it upon yourself to coach her in any handwork you want her to learn, stop advising her and expecting her to do it, that is not how she was trained. Instead, explain the reasons to her and put in painstaking hours to make sure she learns something, that is what lovers do (na you talk say you love am just now)

3. Young man, you can't expect a woman to be romantic except you bring out that side of her. Have you ever seen Nigerian girls asking a boy out... I advise you to not put sex on your mind too much because if you make her do it against her will, it will change your relationship forever. Instead, behave like a lover and not like a pussy, teach her how to be romantic, teach her how to feed you, pet you and cuddle you just the same way you do to her... I taught my ex how to suck dic.k and she became a pro before we broke up, so its up to you...

4. Dont' force her into the streets because you are a street guy, if you do, my guy, you will not be able to control her ever again.. Right now, I don't expect you to have marriage on your mind or expect it to weigh you down. She isn't forcing you to get married to her, but just suggesting and you can also decide to marry her in 5 years time or 10 years time, she will wait. Please stop behaving like a pussy.

Thank you very much for this... its really helpful....

but as for those qualities I want her to develop, she is reluctant to learn them...
And its not like am forcing my poverty mentality on her, but my decision is that I'll marry an enterprising woman....

thanks for ur advise... God bless u

Jamesrock:


Thank you very much for this... its really helpful....

but as for those qualities I want her to develop, she is reluctant to learn them...
And its not like am forcing my poverty mentality on her, but my decision is that I'll marry an enterprising woman....

thanks for ur advise... God bless u

I believe she is reluctant to learn because of the environment and because she sees no reason to learn. I mean her parents are there to provide all her needs and she has been told that as a woman all you need to do is go to school, get a certificate, get a job and get married. so you see where the problem lies (it is not actually a problem).

Try to see things from her side and not from your side then things will be easier... You can even start small by teaching her Microsoft packages like MSword, excel and coreldraw, from there she will be open to more opportunities. or you can get your sister to stay with you and help cajole her into learning how to make hair, she will easily pick up... Whatever you want her to learn should be for her benefit and not just yours (and not because you want an enterprising woman), this way she will learn faster and accept to learn..

Remember to try to see things from her side

Don't mind any guy insulting her because of sex or because she is mummy's pet, these guy will be the first to gist her once both of you split... That is how guys rolls

Young man..... Understand that you can't force ppl to change..... In ma opinion u have a great girl.. Leather go and regret it later

Is there something else you want in a woman aside being "good". My brother from what I can deduce you are at that stage of the relationship were you are challenged by the test of time. In other words its becoming boring.

I can relate with you,but the only reason she is like that is because her parents are well to do,she doesn't have any worry. I have a friend like that too,I introduced her to a part time job that would bring #50,000 a month,her response was her dad said she should not do it. She wants a government job where she would go 8-4,without stress. My conclusion is unlike me,I know the kind of family I come from,that alone is a driving force for me,its motivates me where as she feels life is not complex as long as she sleeps and wake up on her parents watch.
Don't be surprised if your girlfriend turns out this way

From your description of her, I can say you have a good lady,
Your ambition is to be an entrepreneur while hers isn't.

you're a street boy, while she's a home chik

You're romantic while she isn't
these are individual differences bro, it will be selfish on ur part for u to force her to become what she's not, u both can't be compatible in all areas. try to meet each other halfway.
As for the romantic part ,it all fall on u bro, I'm sure if u teach her she'll learn, I don't mean constantly telling her how she's not romantic, I mean teaching her and guiding her through with ur actions. you'll be amazed at how much she'll improve. Good luck bro

You see, this is why ghetto should marry ghetto, and butter should marry butter

Let's learn from our politicians please.

Take a cue from

1. Buhari
2. Oshinbajo
3. Dangote
4. Ajimobi etc.

You won't see their children marrying ghetto.

OP, you know you're ghetto and yet you're chasing butter?

Kolewerk o.

DeadRat:
at that age and still doing mommy's pet... a shame! I Wouldnt Dare Date Such Unbended child... She Is Not Willing To Learn... To Me She Is Dum ass

dead rat giving advice

TheNigerianMan:


I believe she is reluctant to learn because of the environment and because she sees no reason to learn. I mean her parents are there to provide all her needs and she has been told that as a woman all you need to do is go to school, get a certificate, get a job and get married. so you see where the problem lies (it is not actually a problem).

Try to see things from her side and not from your side then things will be easier... You can even start small by teaching her Microsoft packages like MSword, excel and coreldraw, from there she will be open to more opportunities. or you can get your sister to stay with you and help cajole her into learning how to make hair, she will easily pick up... Whatever you want her to learn should be for her benefit and not just yours (and not because you want an enterprising woman), this way she will learn faster and accept to learn..

Remember to try to see things from her side

Don't mind any guy insulting her because of sex or because she is mummy's pet, these guy will be the first to gist her once both of you split... That is how guys rolls

Thank you once again Sir... I have some handwork I do... I decorate, am a chef, I even own a laundry business and I also manage a petrol station... Each time I get a contract( let's say in decoration) and I call her to come and learn, or even to assist me, she'll be reluctant to learn...
Be sides, I'm not even interested in having sex with her unless she ask me to

Aremu01:
Young man..... Understand that you can't force ppl to change..... In ma opinion u have a great girl.. Leather go and regret it later

Honestly, she's a wife material kind of girl, but my fear is that She'll over involve her parents in every thing we do... She doesn't want her growing up leave her alone. I.e she doesn't want to learn new things about life

ganie:
Is there something else you want in a woman aside being "good". My brother from what I can deduce you are at that stage of the relationship were you are challenged by the test of time. In other words its becoming boring.

Hmmmm... Even if it's so, I don't want to break up with her and later regret it

Windflower:
I can relate with you,but the only reason she is like that is because her parents are well to do,she doesn't have any worry. I have a friend like that too,I introduced her to a part time job that would bring #50,000 a month,her response was her dad said she should not do it. She wants a government job where she would go 8-4,without stress. My conclusion is unlike me,I know the kind of family I come from,that alone is a driving force for me,its motivates me where as she feels life is not complex as long as she sleeps and wake up on her parents watch.
Don't be surprised if your girlfriend turns out this way

thank you very much for this... You've just hit the nail on the head and you brought out a clearer picture of it... She doesn't want something new

Marshalxv:
From your description of her, I can say you have a good lady,
Your ambition is to be an entrepreneur while hers isn't.

you're a street boy, while she's a home chik

You're romantic while she isn't
these are individual differences bro, it will be selfish on ur part for u to force her to become what she's not, u both can't be compatible in all areas. try to meet each other halfway.
As for the romantic part ,it all fall on u bro, I'm sure if u teach her she'll learn, I don't mean constantly telling her how she's not romantic, I mean teaching her and guiding her through with ur actions. you'll be amazed at how much she'll improve. Good luck bro

Thank you very much, but what if she's not willing to learn??

5thElement:
You see, this is why ghetto should marry ghetto, and butter should marry butter

Let's learn from our politicians please.

Take a cue from

1. Buhari
2. Oshinbajo
3. Dangote
4. Ajimobi etc.

You won't see their children marrying ghetto.

OP, you know you're ghetto and yet you're chasing butter?

Kolewerk o.

lols... when there's love, anything can happen...

You both compliment each other with your differences, don't make her be like you.

oyetpel:
You both compliment each other with your differences, don't make her be like you.

I don't want her to be like me, I just want her to develop some survival qualities and not always relying on her parents

Jamesrock:


Hmmmm... Even if it's so, I don't want to break up with her and later regret it

Then do everything possible to ignore all of these flaws you are seeing and rekindle the love you both share

Jamesrock:


I don't want her to be like me, I just want her to develop some survival qualities and not always relying on her parents

If she turn to the girl with the survival qualities, you won't know the girl you feel in love it again.