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I Don’t Love Her - Romance - Nairaland

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I Don’t Love Her by jaykorbs(m): 2:39am On Dec 27, 2017
Hi nairalanders, this is my story, don’t judge me, just advice me on a way out, there is this lady I asked out towards the end of 2016, I will be frank with you, my sole aim back then was to hook up with her and for us to enjoy sex together, basically, I was just after sex. I know nothing about the lady.

She was teaching in one primary school in my area at that point in time, I said a lot of poo back then just to get her to say yes, as I got to know her, I found out she had lost both parent at a tender age and so many other things, she has really passed through a lot, herself and her junior sister.

As time goes on, the relationship gained an exponential momentum and before I could realize what was going on, my family and friends dan sabi her, calling her my wife, let me add that she is 19 and I am 24 (just wrote my last undergraduate exam a
couple of months ago, while she is currently working at one food canteen).

Over the course of 2017, I have picked up a lot of manly lessons and have decided to set my life in order in the coming year, yes, I have dropped a lot of boyish attitude and selfish characters, I can confidently call myself a changed individual, although a lot of improvement still have to be made.

As I mentioned earlier, I have decided to set my life in order this coming year, with her being part of it, the truth is, I don’t love her, but to my understanding, she really loves me, I am currently still in this relationship because I am afraid of making her sad, I am in this relationship at the moment because of pity, she will be devasted when I break up with her, my friends are telling me not to go ahead with it, that I am about to make a big mistake if I call off the relationship, I just know I don’t love her, I very much like her, but the love to consider her for marriage ain’t there. She is beside me as I type this, I seriously need help on how to call of this relationship without breaking her spirit because she is a fighter.

38 Likes 9 Shares

Re: I Don’t Love Her by GraGra247: 3:22am On Dec 27, 2017
@ jaykorbs. How can we human beings be so heartless to ourselves. I mean don't we have limits?

You knew clearly that she's lost both parents and thus life has been wicked and unfair to her yet you went ahead to tell her a lot of love lies just to have sexual advantage of her. I'm almost weeping. Why?

Your friends are telling you not to go ahead with her for what reasons really? Because she has no parents probably and is not privileged. Not that she's not good enough. She even teaches showing that she's intelligent and is making efforts.

If this girl was your sister I'm sure you will kill the man that'll use her and dump her after knowing all she's been through.

My advice: If you know you would dump that girl after lieing to her, you must compensate her heavily or the karma that will follow will refuse to be appeased.

Rent self contained for her and fully furnish it or rent a shop for her and stock it then leave by praying your sins are forgiven.

464 Likes 41 Shares

Re: I Don’t Love Her by FrancisDozie: 7:25am On Dec 27, 2017
I will be back to comment let me freshen up,but the poster above me is high, he should carry on with her out of pity huh, that's how people will be hiding because of what others will say and fall inside a ditch. She's not d first person to be an orphan neither will she be the last. Her lover owes her no compensation if he doesn't dig her again. You can help her since u have so much sympathy.

72 Likes

Re: I Don’t Love Her by GraGra247: 9:25am On Dec 27, 2017

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Don’t Love Her by GraGra247: 9:26am On Dec 27, 2017
FrancisDozie:
I will be back to comment let me freshen up,but the poster above me is high, he should carry on with her out of pity huh, that's how people will be hiding because of what others will say and fall inside a ditch. She's not d first person to be an orphan neither will she be the last. Her lover owes her no compensation if he doesn't dig her again. You can help her since u have so much sympathy.

I know devils like you with black blood running in your veins will show up.

Heart that is dead and filled with gravel.

Compassion - Zero

Love - Zero

Mercy - Zero

338 Likes 18 Shares

Re: I Don’t Love Her by jaykorbs(m): 10:33am On Dec 27, 2017
@ GraGra247

She is making effort and intelligent, I know, I just don't want eventually end up with someone I don't love, I don't want to get married to someone out of pity, although, marriage is not in my plan for the next 4 years, I just don't want to waste her time further. On the issue of compensation, I don't the financial prowess to do all you just mentioned but I sure want to still be her friend when I eventually break up with her, assisting her in every possible way.

And my friends are not asking me to break up with her, they are actually telling me not to.

30 Likes 8 Shares

Re: I Don’t Love Her by GraGra247: 11:47am On Dec 27, 2017
jaykorbs:
@ GraGra247

She is making effort and intelligent, I know, I just don't want eventually end up with someone I don't love, I don't want to get married to someone out of pity, although, marriage is not in my plan for the next 4 years, I just don't want to waste her time further. On the issue of compensation, I don't the financial prowess to do all you just mentioned but I sure want to still be her friend when I eventually break up with her, assisting her in every possible way.

And my friends are not asking me to break up with her, they are actually telling me not to.

Ok good, you still have some human feelings left.

My advice: Since you don't love her and definitely don't want to marry her stop wasting her time and stop sleeping with her.

Compensate her as much as you can afford and as much as will enable her to bear the loss and hold back tears and let her go.

This way she can start early to search for a man that's ready to marry her and help her bear her sorrows and lack.

If you keep staying in her life, she won't be moved to search for a life partner cos you've already deceived her and made her to fall in love with you.

78 Likes 5 Shares

Re: I Don’t Love Her by FrancisDozie: 12:18pm On Dec 27, 2017
Compensate her for what exactly? This the kind of people that make females see relationship as a business venture. Puah @ Op if u follow through this blackmail

95 Likes 4 Shares

Re: I Don’t Love Her by dominique(f): 12:27pm On Dec 27, 2017
Why not let her go now that she's young so she can move on with her life and find someone that would love and appreciate her? If you don't see a future with her, stop wasting her time or at least let her know that the relationship won't go beyond dating and sex.

GraGra247:
@ jaykorbs. How can we human beings be so heartless to ourselves. I mean don't we have limits?

You knew clearly that she's lost both parents and thus life has been wicked and unfair to her yet you went ahead to tell her a lot of love lies just to have sexual advantage of her. I'm almost weeping. Why?

Your friends are telling you not to go ahead with her for what reasons really? Because she has no parents probably and is not privileged. Not that she's not good enough. She even teaches showing that she's intelligent and is making efforts.

If this girl was your sister I'm sure you will kill the man that'll use her and dump her after knowing all she's been through.

My advice: If you know you would dump that girl after lieing to her, you must compensate her heavily or the karma that will follow will refuse to be appeased.

Rent self contained for her and fully furnish it or rent a shop for her and stock it then leave by praying your sins are forgiven.

I agreed with you until I got to the last two paragraphs. A relationship is not a business venture or a form of occupation, anybody can call it off without having to compensate the other financially. What I don't support is wasting a person's time if you dont see a future with him or her. If it was the girl that wants to break off from the relationship, will you be suggesting that she compensates the guy?

194 Likes 7 Shares

Re: I Don’t Love Her by Jodha(f): 12:49pm On Dec 27, 2017
GraGra247:
@ jaykorbs. How can we human beings be so heartless to ourselves. I mean don't we have limits?

You knew clearly that she's lost both parents and thus life has been wicked and unfair to her yet you went ahead to tell her a lot of love lies just to have sexual advantage of her. I'm almost weeping. Why?

Your friends are telling you not to go ahead with her for what reasons really? Because she has no parents probably and is not privileged. Not that she's not good enough. She even teaches showing that she's intelligent and is making efforts.

If this girl was your sister I'm sure you will kill the man that'll use her and dump her after knowing all she's been through.

My advice: If you know you would dump that girl after lieing to her, you must compensate her heavily or the karma that will follow will refuse to be appeased.

Rent self contained for her and fully furnish it or rent a shop for her and stock it then leave by praying your sins are forgiven.

Yhu said it all...kudus bro...yhur type are hard to come by in this nairaland...

@ op...if yhu have lil sense/conscience left yhull listen to him...and yhu must compensate her...if not karma will surely come for yhu...

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Don’t Love Her by Archangel15: 12:57pm On Dec 27, 2017
O boy, you don’t own her anything, yes her parents died but you didn't kill them.

You don't love her let her go, if you are to do anything for her let it be because of compassion not because you are obliged to do it.

14 Likes

Re: I Don’t Love Her by jesusdiedLOL(m): 1:07pm On Dec 27, 2017
LOL @ compensate her....Na contract work?? Bro just tell her man, aint no easy way to do it.

10 Likes

Re: I Don’t Love Her by chidichuddo: 2:47pm On Dec 27, 2017
Op thought you said u have dropped boyish attitudes



to see or get a lady to love you whole heartedly is difficult.


how can u see a diamond in a rough and ignore


if u no want I want but the issue is her heart is already taken


you might not see a lady who would love u now even as u r still in school.


better she loves you now than you doing the loving cos when woman show up eh, ur life and attitude won't be the same.

37 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I Don’t Love Her by GraGra247: 3:02pm On Dec 27, 2017
dominique:
Why not let her go now that she's young so she can move on with her life and find someone that would love and appreciate her? If you don't see a future with her, stop wasting her time or at least let her know that the relationship won't go beyond dating and sex.



I agreed with you until I got to the last two paragraphs. A relationship is not a business venture or a form of occupation, anybody can call it off without having to compensate the other financially. What I don't support is wasting a person's time if you dont see a future with him or her. If it was the girl that wants to break off from the relationship, will you be suggesting that she compensates the guy?

The difference is that she's an orphan that has been battered by life and he damn well knows.

All of you replying this way do you really know what it means to be an orphan?

If you don't know then ask.

There are suffering people that even some wicked armed robbers exclude from their activities.

77 Likes 9 Shares

Re: I Don’t Love Her by Nobody: 3:11pm On Dec 27, 2017
Why are you like this..

Guys need to stop playing with ladies emotion, you see she is an orphan, you decide to chop and run knowing fully well she loves you, all you wanted from her is sex..

Karma is catch up with you.

27 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I Don’t Love Her by Sije(m): 3:12pm On Dec 27, 2017
@ poster

Currently you feel you don't love her; give it time.

Like they say: what one have, he never values until its all gone.

And you should stay off sex, its confusing your feelings.

Finally
Better you marry a woman that loves and cherish you than the other way round.

Above all pray to God.

He has all the answers to our problems

59 Likes 5 Shares

Re: I Don’t Love Her by AryEmber(f): 3:21pm On Dec 27, 2017
I don't blame you, it's the nineteen year old orphan with two siblings that deem it fit to date I put the fault on. It'll teach her next time to walk with her eyes open.

14 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Don’t Love Her by abdeiz(m): 3:58pm On Dec 27, 2017
Bros WALLAI TALLAI you still don't know what you want, its because you have a choice thats why. You are scared of commitment simple. Maybe she's too decent for you and you think you can fancy your chances and do better.

I pity the girl sha...FYI I was once in your shoes and my indecisiveness cost me a lot. But hey...what do I know.

50 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I Don’t Love Her by dominique(f): 5:13pm On Dec 27, 2017
GraGra247:


The difference is that she's an orphan that has been battered by life and he damn well knows.

All of you replying this way do you really know what it means to be an orphan?

If you don't know then ask.

There are suffering people that even some wicked armed robbers exclude from their activities.


Are you saying the op owes her something because she's an orphan? Sorry, she's his girlfriend not his responsibility, like I said in my previous post, relationship should not be seen as a means of income. If he wants to assist her, it should be because he wants to assist a less privileged person and not because he dated her.

41 Likes 5 Shares

Re: I Don’t Love Her by GraGra247: 6:11pm On Dec 27, 2017
dominique:


Are you saying the op owes her something because she's an orphan? Sorry, she's his girlfriend not his responsibility, like I said in my previous post, relationship should not be seen as a means of income. If he wants to assist her, it should be because he wants to assist a less privileged person and not because he dated her.

Your view not my view. Case closed.

20 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Don’t Love Her by Oyindidi(f): 6:19pm On Dec 27, 2017
Wicked somebody, tell her now and free her from this selfish relationship.
Na she be first person wey parents die? Ediot

3 Likes

Re: I Don’t Love Her by sophiathefirst: 7:07pm On Dec 27, 2017
the way some people reason eeh, it marvels me, just because the op dated the girl, she is now entitled to compensation bfor break up. hmmm oo.
OP all i ve to tell u is this, is a million times better now that she still young to break up with her since u dont love her, it will be painful for her now but much more painful later if u waste her time.And since u re still starting and balancing life, i guess u dont the financial capacity to take of her n her needs. so for now focus on urself, i.e ur studies, ur future(career), self development (physical,mental,emotional and spiritual) etc. If she needs ur help, help her because she needs it, after all she is ur friend. Just remember to do on to others, what u will love others to do on to you. this will help u live a better life.

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Don’t Love Her by lanzini309: 8:11pm On Dec 27, 2017
better get sense can't yhu see are you blind that girl I'll make a perfect mother to yhur kids she I'll respect you try nd build the love believe me the next girl I'll be o poo try nd create d love plus my brother don't leave that girl... #ayam samir-li###

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Don’t Love Her by Prec1ous(m): 9:21pm On Dec 27, 2017
Marriage and relationship do not actually survive on love alone.

If you have grown truly, you should have become futuristic to see that this lady can earn you money from business, take care of your kids and never leave.

YOUR problem now is that, you feel you can do better.. Like get a more educated, cultured and pretty woman. It is called the shiny Object syndrome.

The best relationships is one where the woman loves the most, man's job is to complement with logic.

If you you don't need her again, tell her to go but mark this day, you just threw out a rare gem.

184 Likes 22 Shares

Re: I Don’t Love Her by ReddingtonLeke: 11:04pm On Dec 27, 2017
Prec1ous:
Marriage and relationship do not actually survive on love alone.

If you have grown truly, you should have become futuristic to see that this lady can earn you money from business, take care of your kids and never leave.

YOUR problem now is that, you feel you can do better.. Like get a more educated, cultured and pretty woman. It is called the shiny Object syndrome.

The best relationships is one where the woman loves the most, man's job is to complement with logic.

If you you don't need her again, tell her to go but mark this day, you just threw out a rare gem.

At my brother who want advice, I won't av commented here at all if I don't see/feel d need to. I'll try nd be brief as much as I can, bcux d person I already quote already said it clearly. But I jex want to add few talk.
1) my brother, you don't love dix girl out of pity. You don't jex understand or know what love is Yet....you think you do!? You don't. Love is Commitment! Love is a Choice! Love is a Decision tin.... We tend to fall in love with what we give attention to.
2) do you know d value of a woman's true love!? She can burn the whole world, and at the same time give you d whole world. If she knows that it's genuine .
3) What's your priority? Success, love, money, or what? Define it. You're jex thru with your undergraduate level. You're in your building stages of life, you don't need a woman that will give you wahala like all dix slay queens. With good understanding and cards from you, you can build with dix girl. Unless tinx changes and she stops loving you.
4) you guys age 24-19 seems to be very okay, gives you enough time ahead to be prepared and ready, when she'll be ready too. No pressures.
5) I end with dix, you'll get to love her if you open your hear to love her....and the beautiful tin is you can groom, train and develop her to the type of woman you want. God bless. Stay real and keep making progress. I care....value Loyalty above all else.

132 Likes 23 Shares

Re: I Don’t Love Her by vanhelsing1(m): 11:07pm On Dec 27, 2017
jaykorbs:
Hi nairalanders, this is my story, don’t judge me, just advice me on a way out, there is this lady I asked out towards the end of 2016, I will be frank with you, my sole aim back then was to hook up with her and for us to enjoy sex together, basically, I was just after sex. I know nothing about the lady.

She was teaching in one primary school in my area at that point in time, I said a lot of poo back then just to get her to say yes, as I got to know her, I found out she had lost both parent at a tender age and so many other things, she has really passed through a lot, herself and her junior sister.

As time goes on, the relationship gained an exponential momentum and before I could realize what was going on, my family and friends dan sabi her, calling her my wife, let me add that she is 19 and I am 24 (just wrote my last undergraduate exam a
couple of months ago, while she is currently working at one food canteen).

Over the course of 2017, I have picked up a lot of manly lessons and have decided to set my life in order in the coming year, yes, I have dropped a lot of boyish attitude and selfish characters, I can confidently call myself a changed individual, although a lot of improvement still have to be made.

As I mentioned earlier, I have decided to set my life in order this coming year, with her being part of it, the truth is, I don’t love her, but to my understanding, she really loves me, I am currently still in this relationship because I am afraid of making her sad, I am in this relationship at the moment because of pity, she will be devasted when I break up with her, my friends are telling me not to go ahead with it, that I am about to make a big mistake if I call off the relationship, I just know I don’t love her, I very much like her, but the love to consider her for marriage ain’t there. She is beside me as I type this, I seriously need help on how to call of this relationship without breaking her spirit because she is a fighter.




ma FRIEND...I remember an adage dat says.....we dont throw what is holy to swines....dey will.trample on it..and dat is wat u jus did...I perceive DAT girl will b.d best angel u.could have all.ur life cos u never complained dat she troubles u...b careful so dat nemesis do not catch up wt u..no more time for foolishness...life is short

29 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I Don’t Love Her by ButterFrost212(f): 11:34pm On Dec 27, 2017
This is a case of don't smell what you won't eat. Since you've smelled it however, I would suggest you eat, you would get used to the taste. Learn to love her, you'll be glad you did

24 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Don’t Love Her by ERORR404(m): 11:35pm On Dec 27, 2017
G
Re: I Don’t Love Her by Nobody: 11:35pm On Dec 27, 2017
smiley
Re: I Don’t Love Her by Nobody: 11:35pm On Dec 27, 2017
I asked these same questions on my thread yeah? https://www.nairaland.com/4118415/how-break-up-girlfriend-without

And Wait!

jaykorbs:
She is beside me as I type this, I seriously need help on how to call of this relationship without breaking her spirit because she is a fighter.

Odikwa Risky oh !

3 Likes

Re: I Don’t Love Her by StrawberryGloss(f): 11:36pm On Dec 27, 2017
Many people say they don't want to hurt another person and tiptoeing around the situation can do more harm than help-don't tiptoe, be decisive.
It is an action to avoid as much repercussion as possible, don't be too soft in the break up, but don't be insensitive.
Speak the truth but not the whole truth. You don't need to tell her her flaws, etc.
Let her know how you feel about the relationship and that the action you're taking is best for the both of you.
Be honest, open, and sincere.Wish for the best and prepare for the worst and behave cordially.

6 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Don’t Love Her by Springdale: 11:36pm On Dec 27, 2017
Make her get tired of the relationship, she might just break up with you!

I feel for the girl... see wetin sex don cause finally.

That’s why I tell guys to always go straight to the point with girls, if you want SEX... make moves towards it. No use LOVE enter

Ediot OP
Next time go straight to your point and not using love, it works.

15 Likes 2 Shares

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