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My Wicked Stepmum Has Requested For My Help / My Pregnant Ex Girlfriend Has Refused My Help / I Am Having Issues With My Brother’s Wife And Her Two Sisters (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by richyblink1(m): 12:41pm On Apr 10, 2018 |
presentley: Exactly what wifey has been saying from the get go, that I made her feel too comfortable. Was only trying to treat her like a family |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by richyblink1(m): 12:44pm On Apr 10, 2018 |
LotannaAnaekwe: I have never given her cash since Sept she came in. I have always insisted to pay into her account |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by Nobody: 12:49pm On Apr 10, 2018 |
richyblink1: If you are born-again, pray to the good LORD to give you a good person. I advice a person that comes to work at your house on daily basis, say, except on Sundays. A person that comes and goes daily like regular job. I won't advice a live-in-house help; young girls and their drama stuff. 2 Likes |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by Nobody: 12:54pm On Apr 10, 2018 |
richyblink1: This is a flaw. Do not make her know when she will be leaving. She may pick some stuff that are not hers. Pls take her yourself to the uncle. Do not tell the man that you are coming. Remember to go with transport money for her. Go early enough so that they will have enough time to travel. 4 Likes |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by Nobody: 12:57pm On Apr 10, 2018 |
TheeDetective: You have a strong point here. |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by LotannaAnaekwe: 1:01pm On Apr 10, 2018 |
richyblink1: Good. Get rid of her ASAP. |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by Nobody: 1:02pm On Apr 10, 2018 |
mylove4him: Get someone that comes to work at your house on daily basis (Mon - Sat). She closes say 5:30 or 6, depending on when you get home and where she lives. 2 Likes |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by Acidosis(m): 1:08pm On Apr 10, 2018 |
You messed up the terms of contract the moment you got her a phone, clothes and JAMB form. Lets tell ourselves the truth. Assuming you own a service company, would you buy your Secretary at work a dress, phone after a month of working with you? Let's stop treating maid/house help like Charity work. The only legal tender in Nigeria is money. Whoever you're going to employ after she leaves should be made to sign a term of contract that spells the do's and don'ts. Possibly, avoid a live-in maid and apply all the bye laws of employment. Now that she's leaving, I hope you know what to do? Can you resign from a job and leave with your company's car, ID card? Of course not. So go ahead and withdraw the Company materials (phone, and possibly de-register her JAMB). Pay her a month salary like you would do for an employee resigning from an organisation. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by richyblink1(m): 1:14pm On Apr 10, 2018 |
treasuredkids: From the get go they have been parading around us like a bee that has seen honey. Will take it up 1 Like |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by richyblink1(m): 1:20pm On Apr 10, 2018 |
9 jusRadical: She is not from the village so to say. She is been living with the uncle who was her custodian til she was given to us. The deal is that she said her mother asked her to leave, I said I won't release her to any other person except the uncle who gave her to me, to avoid issues of missing person or allegation of kidnap 2 Likes |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by richyblink1(m): 1:24pm On Apr 10, 2018 |
Acidosis: Now you sound like the chairman of my coy. Trust me, wasn't doing any of those things to impress her peeps. I felt a person living under my roof should be treated like family. Was trying to avoid a case were we will go out and she will be looking like an alien 6 Likes |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by richyblink1(m): 1:27pm On Apr 10, 2018 |
jusRadical: Thanks for this 1 Like |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by richyblink1(m): 1:33pm On Apr 10, 2018 |
jusRadical: If prayer answering is for born again's, then there would be no need for prayer of repentance because such prayer won't be answered as well |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by Nobody: 1:41pm On Apr 10, 2018 |
richyblink1: Proverbs 15:8 (KJVA) The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the LORD: but the prayer of the upright is his delight. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. James 5:16 NIV https://bible.com/bible/111/jas.5.16.NIV 1 Like |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by LadySarah: 4:17pm On Apr 10, 2018 |
Hmm op dont treat this matter with kids gloves.back up with evidence. First pay her last salary into her acc;keep invoices or screenshots of debit alerts Take her to her uncle by yourself and pls take a pic of the both of them before you leave. search her bag wella and take your phone back Someone was just framed for kidnapping cos of a help that left while he was away. but if this is your 4th help you guys can try to take care of your home yourselves before you will go aand caarry devil incarnate.Both of you can do it if you plan urself wella. |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by dankol: 5:28pm On Apr 10, 2018 |
op.. this life in discovered is unfair. good people most times get tag along with the wrong or bad people. pls don't hesitate to let her go. she is a mole 1 Like |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by UjuJoan2: 5:50pm On Apr 10, 2018 |
It is very difficult to get good helps now, and when you do get the good ones, they are often fill of demands and unreasonable expectations. This is a very tricky situation because like you said, she's good to your kids and does her job well. If she leaves, no telling what the next one will be like. I think you should call her, sit her down and try to find out exactly where this whole thing is coming from. Don't be confrontational or harsh, try and reason with her. She may be feeling some sort of pressure from her family and is only trying to please her. Let her understand why she needs to look out for herself and her own interests instead of that. Sending her away now will leave you stranded, and that is not fun at all. Just do everything you can so that at least you'll know you tried your best. |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by UjuJoan2: 5:55pm On Apr 10, 2018 |
LadySarah: This your last paragraph is easier said than done. I thought that too and sent my last help away when she insulted me, and since to then I've been going to work with my three kids now they are on holiday. When school starts it will be worse because then I have to go pick them from school during lunch time and then bring them to work, till I close. I won't even begin to describe the stress of the chores. Bottom line is that it's very difficult handling a home with young children without help these days. Except of course one of the parent is not working. 4 Likes |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by richyblink1(m): 6:22pm On Apr 10, 2018 |
LadySarah: Thanks |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by richyblink1(m): 6:23pm On Apr 10, 2018 |
dankol: Thanks |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by LadySarah: 6:28pm On Apr 10, 2018 |
UjuJoan2: Didnt knw what to say anymore.I understand you sha |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by richyblink1(m): 7:13pm On Apr 10, 2018 |
UjuJoan2: I think you got the whole story properly. Her first two months with me, her uncle and mother were busy calling to collect her salary. The first month, the uncle gave her his account number, that was were i credited the first salary. The second month was the mothers turn, then the third month another relative entire provided an account number. From the fourth month I refused sending her salary to any relative and insisted on sending it to her account which i have been doing till now. I feel the pressure is because they feel she is comfortable as she does not touch her salary for anything. Wifey buys her undies, deodorant, soaps tolitries, takes her to same saloon she (wifey and the kids uses) at least once a month. In fact, because of how attached the kids are with her, my mother in law was impressed and got her about 7 dresses just a week ago when she visited. We had to move her to the children's room because of how they bond. Most times the kids will be crying and want only her to carry them. She sings nursery ryhmes with them, teaches them numeracy etc. Her only flaw is that she is a dull in her turn around time, and often forget. And can eat 2 cups of eba at once. I feel the pressure started when the mother and uncle visited us after she must have told them she is relaxed and comfortable. Just like acidosis rightly said, I made her too comfortable that she/her people forgot she is being paid for services rendered and not for charity or privilege. |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by UjuJoan2: 3:48am On Apr 11, 2018 |
richyblink1: I understand perfectly, I once had a help whose parents thought I was some kind of cash point, someone i paid for her services and took care of all her expenses. When I refused to dish out cash to them constantly, they convinced her to leave. Two months later she was calling me begging to come back. Of course it was already too late because I had replaced her. Eventually the mumu I replaced her with grew wings to the point of insulting me in my own house. I still wish I convinced the other girl to stay, but I was indignant that she would consider leaving after everything I had done for her, so I let her go with the hope of replacing her. Getting someone as good as she was has proven almost impossible. I now wish I did everything I could to make here stay. These people are extremely selfish and think of themselves only. They should be glad their child is in a good home and being properly cared for, instead they want to exploit you, because they think you are desperate for help. Still I don't blame her, it's them I blame. Also you did nothing wrong by being nice and generous to her. When someone is caring for your young kid, you need to go the extra mile to make her happy. Good side is that she's not a kid. She's an adult and matured enough to know what is right and wrong. You need to be able to convince her that her family is not looking out for her own interests. If she leaves, she will regret it in the very very near future. If she still insists to go, then let her go and hope for a better replacement. 7 Likes |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by richyblink1(m): 6:51am On Apr 11, 2018 |
UjuJoan2: Thanks a bunch. Very elaborate and thoughtful |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by UjuJoan2: 10:22am On Apr 11, 2018 |
LadySarah: The whole thing is a nightmare . . . I woke up this morning close to tears. School starts next week and I have no help/nanny. My 8Mth Old daughter had to start daycare . . way to early in my opinion. I can afford a nanny/help. Getting a good one is the wahala. I interviewed someone on Sunday, she said she would only take the job if she didn't have to do any house work. Just baby sit . . My baby is in daycare, the other two are starting school next week, she'll be doing absolutely nothing till they get back from school. She won't be live-in so I have to still dress them up in the morning and get them ready for school myself. After a stressful day at work, I'll come home to do all the chores. At the end of the month I'll pay you 25k. Odiegwu! The one I interviewed last week agreed to live-in and do chores, but she needed to go to her village for a special deliverance session before she can resume, she said. It would cost her 15k, if I could be gracious enough to advance her salary before she even starts work. I tried an elderly woman and she told me she wont be able to come to work before 9am because she usually has a 'slow morning', plus she has wit-low and won't be able to do anything involving water, including bathing and washing. How I envy stay at home moms now, I wish I could afford to do that. |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by LadySarah: 12:01pm On Apr 11, 2018 |
I live with my once estranged cousin now 14.he came when he was 12 but looked 7 or 8.It took us mths to put him in shape but the wait was worth it.His mum my aunt is late At the begginning he came with anger issues coupled with street life but we gradually molded him with Gods help too. It was a tough time. I also defined his job which is basically companionship for my kids and washing dishes/cleaning the house.He brings my older son bac k from school and stays with him till we come back on his way from his and helps him do his homework. My sons have come to love him so much too.He is the one who understands the gibberish they talk and all the pj mask,paw patrol,barney songs. The phone is neccessary to communicate with him incase you have a message.He has never cooked ,gone to mkt or washed my/my kids clothes.My husband helps out alot too My work place allows me come with my LO(perks of civil service) so as not to overlabour him. I do our laundry with my machine and also cook on weekends. I must commend his efforts and willingness to learn.He has been telling me he wants to start cooking but Dh says no.He is also very good with electrical stuffs. he is very much happy here yhat even when i threaten him to go home if he misbehaves he starts crying. I 'm trying my best to make him comfy and also not overpamper him. There are still good ones because me i dont have strength for older girls |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by Timbuktuo: 12:09pm On Apr 11, 2018 |
She should be out of your home like yesterday. This story has too many red flags from her uncle bringing an unknown woman to come aboard in your home to the girl herself asking for control of your home while you're absent. They may be planning to rob you or worse. Let her go at the weekend to avoid stories that touch. I would advise you to even involve the police I coming them of your plans of disengaging her. Her uncle might not show up vat the weekend, she must still leave. 1 Like |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by UjuJoan2: 1:10pm On Apr 11, 2018 |
LadySarah: You're so lucky. He'll be more useful to you when he gets older. I can't handle young children Sha, I've tried. I just don't have the patience to mold people without prior training of any sort. Plus my work is kind of tedious and my husband doesn't live in the same town. Young children need a lot of supervision and guidance which I'm not available to provide. I spend the little time I have on my kids. I'll just keep managing until I find the right fit. It's just a matter of time. |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by LadySarah: 1:18pm On Apr 11, 2018 |
UjuJoan2: You will definitely.Its not easy at all on career women who are mothers.You handle the homefront and have to keep up with work too. What if you reg them in a school close to ur work place.You pay the school for After school services then y'all come home together afterwork.Weekends y'all tackle everything together cos thats how my sis does hers.your stories are alike.You can also pay someone to then work on weekends while you get u get ur rest or go to mkt/cook. |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by baby124: 1:29pm On Apr 11, 2018 |
Send her away. Something is not right with all these stories you are telling... 1 Like |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by richyblink1(m): 2:57pm On Apr 11, 2018 |
Timbuktuo: If he fails to show up, will take her to him. But that's not really the issue. |
Re: Issues With My Help. Advice Needed!!! by richyblink1(m): 3:16pm On Apr 11, 2018 |
The plot is actually thickening right now. Yesterday she was making calls at about 10pm in the night. Few minutes into the call wifey walked up to her and asked who she's been talking to for that long considering the time and duration of the call. She claimed she was trying to tell her caller to call back in the morning. So wifey got the phone from her to return it back in the morning. Coincidentally, an alert of 20k came in. Lo and behold her account balance amounted to several hundred of thousands. This is a girl her account was reading 0.00 when I started paying her, and I have paid for a few month as she came in about 5 months ago. My people, I am wondering what I have in my hand. Really confuse what she is up to, and who has been collaborating with her. She talks on phone everyday for long hours. Since i asked her to call her uncle to come pick her that i won't release her to any other person. She has turned Angel overnight and willing to tumble 20x on her own accord. I feel someone (a good for nothing guy) out there is taking advantage of her to perpetuate evil. |
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