1. If you and the other person want to have sex, have sex

There is nothing morally wrong with sex as long as it’s legal (so you’re over the age of consent depending on where you live) and consensual.

You can do it on the first date if you want. You can wait until marriage if that feels right for you.

You can hook up with someone whose name you don’t know at a house party where you aren’t looking for a dating situation, you just want to have an assisted orgasm.

There’s nothing wrong with that. Sex is not a dirty, evil thing. We need to stop upholding the idea that the more sex you have, the ‘worse’ you are, or that sex is only acceptable months into a longterm relationship.
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2. Make sure sex is safe

That means regular sexual health checks, condoms, dental dams for oral, hormonal contraception if you want to avoid pregnancy, and so on.
3. Consent is essential and it needs to be enthusiastic

If they’re not happily, proudly saying or expressing a ‘yes’, it’s a ‘no’.

If they’re so drunk or altered by any substance that they aren’t in control of their actions, they cannot consent.

If they’re unconscious, they cannot consent.

If they’re sleeping, they cannot consent.

People can withdraw consent during sex. That’s okay. If they say stop, you stop.

People can consent to some sex acts without consenting to others. If someone is up for MouthAction they’re allowed to not be up for penetration. If someone has consented to vaginal sex you need to check before attempting anal sex.
4. Check in with your own emotions

If you’re worried about what will happen the next day, if you can tell you’re extremely emotionally invested in someone who can’t return those feelings, if you’re having sex as a form of self-harm, or blocking things out, or numbing yourself, don’t have sex.

You need to check in with how you’re feeling and make sure you’re mentally safe, as well as physically safe, before going ahead.

That doesn’t mean you can’t have casual sex or one night stands. That doesn’t mean you’re banned from having sex with someone who you’ll later find out is a massive dick.

It’s about protecting yourself emotionally and making sure that you feel entirely comfortable going ahead, whatever the consequences.

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