Hello nairalanders.
I have this issue that has been burning inside me for about a month now, unfortunately I cant share it with close friends and family
I have been dating this guy for some years now, he is extremely wonderful
He is always concerned about me, my dreams and everything that has to do with me, inc my family
He doesn’t have a lot of money but no matter how little, he gives me an amount every month
We are not engaged but we plan to get married as soon as we are financially stable,
He trusts me implicitly with most matters and even put my name on the company he recently floated,
His family are all wonderful to me.
He is God fearing and always encourages me to wake up early to pray, read my bible, e.t.c
He has never given me any reason to doubt his love, or any reason for me to think he is being unfaithful.
Recently I was talking to my mum, and she said that ‘never trust a man’, that my dad promised her heaven and earth, before they got married, within 2 years he flipped on her, started mistreating her BAD. She was not talking about my guy oh, hust mother to daughter yarns, she was just talking generally, that if anyone had told her that my dad would treat her bad, cheat on her with no regard for her feelings, she would have said, NEVER!
My question is, is there any way to know these things? little signs? How do I know that this my perfect guy isn’t gonna turn into someone else 4 yrs down the line? Its really doin my head in.

Thank you for positive responses

your mom spoke the truth about not trusting anyone but she said it in a wrong way. As a grown person you can be in a relationship and trust your partner but also know that people change and s#it happens. which is what i think your mother is trying to say( Don't sit around expecting someone to take care of everything do for your self because if things change then you can do for your self and not be helpless)

Our old school parents are alwas trying to teach us life lessons but end poisoning our minds about things that wouldn't necessarily happen to us but in their own way they are just making sure that you are ready for life because marriage life is a whole new beast from boyfriend and girlfriend life

@OP

Life in general is a risk. So take the risk of following your heart.

Be logical and follow ur mind u would b fine.

thanks,
he's a really good guy, i even feel guilty about putting it up here,

Thank God u got a man who has d love and fear of God(positive thing)
Worry bankrupts d spirit. . .Turn ur worries over 2 God.

TRUST, TRUST, TRUST.
That is all you need in a relationship and leave the rest to God when you get married.

I think u really have a good man and u shouldn’t let ur mum’s advice b what would lead to problems btw u and ur man. Its unfair to judge ur man based on what ur daddy did many years ago. ur mum might think she’s givin u an honest and sincere advice but it might not necessary be so. In any case, I want u to know that ur mum is only giving u her own side of the story, u haven’t herd ur daddy’s side (there’s always two sides to a story). We all know how women can change just few years into marriage i.e. growing fatter, stop taking care of themselves and generally not giving her man all the love and attention she used to give him during their dating period. Any or all these can make a man change his ways to his new wife.
I once read somewhere that over 60% of broken r/ships in the US are caused by advice from family friends of the women involved. Try not to increase the statistics. Best of luck

ur mum just made the greatest mistake of her life

sayin sometin like that 2 u~

1st of all, your mum is a killjoy. Family members have been known to be envious of the joy and happiness other family members, ur case is just an extreme one since its coming from ur mum.

2nd of all, ur mum has successfully sown the seed of discord between u and ur bf, and it’s up to u to either kill it or let it germinate, grow, and destroy ur r/ship.

3rd of all, I think this is a sickness for grls, why can’t they just enjoy it when they have a good thing going for them bt they must destroy it with their own hands only to come to Nairaland later with tales of woe about how their bf is treating then forgetting the fact that they brought it down on themselves with their own hands.

omega said it all, if i listen to my mum all the time, man for still b virgin
truth is, its ur life and its ur mistake to make thats if u make one
trust is paramount in any relationship but does not mean foolishness or blindness

Trust your judgement. Your bf has not raise any doubts. Some people just do not want to see you happy cause they are not happy. Leave all those doubt alone it ruin a great relationship wish you will regret.

There is no way to be sure, you just have to trust him.




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thanks so much.
@ notice me, this is not a tale of woe, like i said, my mum was just talking to me generally, it wasnt malicious or anything,
the only reason i came here is that ill get anonymous non judgemental responses from Nigerians, unlike if i discussed it with my friends or family.
@ all, what my mum said is not heresay, they are still together and i see some stuff that is not right between both of them, esp fro, my dad's side of things.
im a known face here so thank goodness i used another account

You can never be sure,trust God and hope for the best.Life itself is a risk.