Essien must learn 2 forgive and reconcile with his father.

martin1:

Essien must learn 2 forgive and reconcile with his father.

yes o!what a shame!. .He must forgive so dat God may forgive his sins. .
Forgiveness can be difficult(it causes so much anger)but, it's truly a realease 2 let it go.
He must apply wisdom. . "Blessed r d merciful,for they will be shown mercy."mathew5:7.

The irony is that if Essien's father dies today,a big party with rice,nama and enof shacks will
flow.Drobga,Mikel,Ballack etc will all troop in to Accra to honour a friend's late dada.
Yet,while the man was alive,he begged for food as the posted pix depicts.

Is Essien the only one that his father did nt care for while growing up?

If the old man is not his dad,he should come out publicly and state so.
Otherwise,why cant he provide the old man with just about the basic necessities
of life if he claims he is his dad?

Kgdavid:

i am convinced that the majority of people on this thread did not bother to read all three articles. did you miss the part where the man said he did not have anything to give? looking at the state of his house why is that so hard to believe? did you miss the [part where Essien[i] would not even have a career[/i] if not for his dad? the fact is that Michael Essien is an irresponsible shameless liar. and for those who are saying the old man should not be telling this to the world i have to ask what is wrong with you? did the man get up to go and call media houses to come or they decided to go and interview him and thus discovered the horror themselves?

I have also read all the articles and I did not miss the reason the man did not have anything to give,he had four wives! He was busy moving from one woman's room to the other each night.Satisfying himself without restraint that was what was important to him in his youth. After the first wife, he saw other women who had what he desired and went after them, no problem that was his choice and he had the right to exercise it to the fullest even if it was detrimental to his children. The son also has a choice to make now, the man should respect that choice! If the son decides to do more than he is presently doing, that would be nice and I support that.


A relationship is built over time and cannot be forced, a friend of mine was forced by her mother (probably because of what people would say) to go see her father who according to her was never part of her life. she said it was a very awkward visit, after the normal greetings she had nothing else to say to him and he had nothing to say to her, after hanging around for some time she left and never went back. She only sends whatever she can send to him from time to time.

what has happen has happen, Micheal Essien should forget the past and good care of him after he is still his father. and since the cash is there he should help hime.

So papa go dey Bleep up then nor dey think of 2morow.

harakiri:

@Post

I normally don't reply to posts like these due to the sentimental nature but i just couldn't help myself.

YES, his father wasn't there for him,abandoned him at a tender age and YES, his father is an irresponsible bigot.Even with all these, you have to understand that people of the man's time married wives like these and still got remembered in their old age.I do agree that he Mike doesn't owe him anything but for humanity sake, he can do better.Did you see the foot of that man? That foot looks infected with tetanus.Living the man to die from a cheap illness wouldn't make Mike sleep better at night.I know what i'm talking about coz I HAVE BEEN THERE!

My parents had issues early in life and from the age of 5, i didn't know a father till i was in the university.Even when i came to him from school for needs and such, he would send me out of his house and refer me back to my mom.My university days were very rough but i came through.My dad died the same year i finished (2003).Even though i was angry with him at the time, i still wish i could see him again.If he were alive today and he beckoned on me for help, i would not forsake him. . .not because he deserves it but for humanity sake. There are people who were abandoned by their mothers at infancy, grew up in foster homes, hustled on the street, made it in life and STILL LOOK FOR THEIR PARENTS WHO ABANDONED THEM TO DIE! You don't know what you have till it's gone.Money isn't everything and revenge ain't always sweet served cold.After the cold taste comes an unending bitterness.

I don talk finish.

Exactly my point.

What has Michael got to lose by forgiving and helping his poor dad?

You are saying for humanity's sake but his father feels that he deserves it simply because he donated sperm. I still say the man is unrepentant. If Michael wants to do it because he wants to then fine. I will not judge him. I was not there when he had to watch his mother hustle and struggle to make ends meet for 5 children. The father is going to the public trying to make a son look bad after spending most of the child's childhood making him feel like a reject. The man should show some humility. I am thinking that they offered him some money to tell the story. The man just does not get it and at this age I don't think he ever will. Good luck to them.

jorem:

In my own opinion, I think the issue lies btw Michael and his Mom. But above all his father does not deserve such kind of horrible treatment. MICHAEL SHOULD FORGIVE HIS FATHER.

after all he is still his FATHER

Fathers Claim

Chelsea star Michael Essien's dad lives in poverty

http://www.naijarules.com/vb/sports-outdoor-life/27226-chelsea-star-michael-essiens-dad-lives-poverty.html

Chelsea star Michael Essien's dad lives in poverty
EXCLUSIVE: CHELSEA STAR ESSIEN'S DAD
Susie Boniface In Odoben, Ghana 27/01/2008

(What's this?)He drives a 4x4 Porsche, drinks £400 - a - bottle champagne and wears the finest designer clothes.

As one of Chelsea's biggest stars, earning a whopping £90,000 a week, footballer Michael Essien can afford to buy just about anything.

It's a bit different for his elderly father James, though. You don't get to splash out much when you are living on 50p a day.

Home for James, 76, is a tumbledown mud shack with a tatty tin roof in a tiny village in Ghana.

On a pension of just £15 a month he can't even afford to buy firewood to cook his food.

James - known as J.K. - has seen millionaire Michael only once in the last 10 years following a family rift.

But far from being bitter - or wanting a chunk of his superstar son's fortune - he says: "I just want him to let me be a real dad to him.

"I want to go to see his matches - and maybe if he could buy me a second-hand fridge, life would be more comfortable for me.

"Michael has done so well, I am very proud of him. He has raised the Essien name up high. When I wake up the first thing I do is pray for him, that he will excel in all his matches."

J.K. lives alone in the village of Odoben, an hour's drive from the town of Ewutu Bwajiase in Ghana where Michael was born.

In pride of place on the living room wall is his most treasured possession - a poster of Michael playing for Ghana's national team, the Black Stars. J.K. watches every match he can on his tiny eight-year-old TV which picks up a crackly signal from a makeshift aerial.

The family rift began when Michael's mother, Aba, divorced J.K. because he refused to give up his three other wives.

After the split she claimed he had refused to provide for Michael and his sister, Dinah.

J.K. says: "She was my fourth wife and we were married for eight years. But when Michael was two she wanted me not to see the others, and I said no.

"I knew I had responsibilities to him as a father and did what I could. But at that time I was a tool collector for the council earning about £3 a month, and I just could not afford to.

"I had to pay for my other wives and children too. It is right in the sense I did not pay as much as I should have, but I tried my best."

But he adds: "I saw Michael whenever I could, I got him a scholarship to a good school, and I took him to his try-outs for his first under-12s team."

J.K. realised his son had a special talent for the game before he took his first steps. He says: "I was a footballer too when I was young and played for local teams, but had to give it up because at that time there was no profit in it.

"And before Michael could walk he was playing with a ball. He would roll it around with his hand, he would go to bed with a football. Soon he was playing it all the time and I would have kick about with him.

"He was a very good boy, calm and humble. He never insulted anyone or was rude, he was happy and outgoing. All he was interested in was football. The few times he did misbehave I would say, 'If you don't calm down, you're not to play football today'. He would stop right away and do whatever I wanted, he was so desperate to play."

One day J.K. heard there were trials for an under-12s team in the capital, Accra. He spent a precious £6 on a return trip for him and his son, who made it through the final stages to win a place at a soccer academy where he stayed for a year.

Then he started high school on a paid-for scholarship granted after J.K., on a trip to see the headteacher about a place for his son, was in a car accident and laid off work for a year.

Michael graduated at 14, the school-leaving age in Ghana, and was immediately signed-up to the under-17s squad of local side Liberty Professionals. In 1999, aged 16, he was spotted by talent scouts playing in the youth version of the World Cup and signed up to French team SC Bastia.

J.K. says: "When he was with Liberty he lived in Accra and was training a lot, but he rang me regularly and came to visit in the school holidays.

"When he went to France he stayed in touch, and everything was good between us. He sent home money to help me through his mother.

"She would ring me and say she had some money, and I had to travel to her to get it. I would spend maybe £3 getting there and then she would give me £25 or sometimes £10.

"Sometimes if I had not been for six months or so she would give me £50. It was not really enough to help me. But I never complained to her or to Michael because it was not my place.

"I was a beggar, and had to be grateful. I[/b]f things were tough and I was struggling to put food on the table I had to ring his mother and ask for help."

But as Michael's star rose the family rift escalated.

His sister Betty, 27, says: "Michael's mother wanted him to pay for her and her children.
[b]
"Michael tried to help his brothers and sisters a few years ago and gave us all £50 each, but it was never repeated.

"A few months ago my father was so upset he mixed a poison to drink so he could kill himself.

"It was only because a family friend turned up before he had drunk too much that he was saved. Michael has no idea how much we are suffering."

In 2005 Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich paid a record £24million to sign Michael, whose earnings shot up to £30,000 a week.

But J.K. says all payments to him stopped apart from the delivery, two years ago, of a £500 third-hand Mitsubishi Galant, which J.K. has been too poor to fill with petrol for the past 18 months.

Meanwhile, Michael had fallen in love with a Ghanaian-born woman called Dela, whom he met in France. He introduced her to his mother - but not his father.

As is traditional, the couple had a formal engagement agreed by both families, allowing them to live together.

Dela moved with him to London but the couple soon fell out. Last week Michael arrived back in Ghana to play for his country in the Africa Cup Of Nations, the equivalent of the European Championships.

J.K. scraped together the money to visit his ex-wife, and asked her to arrange a visit with Michael.

He says she refused, and he was turned away from the door.

He says: "It was the saddest day of my life. There is no way to describe it. Michael's mother lives in a lovely house with lots of luxuries and I have nothing - most importantly I do not even have my son.

"People come to see me here and laugh at me and say, 'Oh, you're Michael Essien's father, but you live like this'.

"They ridicule me, but I am still proud of him.

"I would like to be able to go to a match and see him play live. But the tickets are about £30, so I don't think I will manage it.

"But I hope in my heart the day will soon come when my son comes back to me - and corrects all the wrongs that have been done."


the bolded quotes tell the story perfectly. it takes a heart of stone to do what michael is doing

Outstrip:

You are saying for humanity's sake but his father feels that he deserves it simply because he donated spermatozoa. I still say the man is unrepentant. If Michael wants to do it because he wants to then fine. I will not judge him. I was not there when he had to watch his mother hustle and struggle to make ends meet for 5 children. The father is going to the public trying to make a son look bad after spending most of the child's childhood making him feel like a reject. The man should show some humility. I am thinking that they offered him some money to tell the story. The man just does not get it and at this age I don't think he ever will. Good luck to them.

@Outstrip
You are a typical woman who always look at issues from one angle alone. Will you tell me that if you have all the cash that Michael Essien has and you have an uncle who live in the same condition as this man you wont bother to help? You also seem to forget the part that state that the man was the one going round with the boy to kick start his career.
This is a common ocurrence in a polygamous home where the wifes justle for the husbands attention, most of the wifes will say anthing to discredit the man. You need to have come from a polygamous background to understand what is going on. In my early years i can't really remember what my dad did for me but my mum will never let me neglect the man as i have come to understand that there is much to learn from the elders. It is not always about money or the posh life, what about his inner sorrow of seing the man that donated the so called spermatozza? What about his identity as an Essien? Can he change that?

Essien should forgive and forget.

He must help not only the father but the entire

extended family, Yes! he can do it.

And that should be done fast.

Akabi_boy:


@Outstrip
You are a typical woman who always look at issues from one angle alone. Will you tell me that if you have all the cash that Michael Essien has and you have an uncle who live in the same condition as this man you wont bother to help? You also seem to forget the part that state that the man was the one going round with the boy to kick start his career.
This is a common ocurrence in a polygamous home where the wifes justle for the husbands attention, most of the wifes will say anthing to discredit the man. You need to have come from a polygamous background to understand what is going on. In my early years i can't really remember what my dad did for me but my mum will never let me neglect the man as i have come to understand that there is much to learn from the elders. It is not always about money or the posh life, what about his inner sorrow of seing the man that donated the so called spermatozza? What about his identity as an Essien? Can he change that?

I do not have to come from a polygamous family to understand that the man FAILED woefully as a father. You obviously are purposely closing your eyes to the facts. Even the old man admitted to it so what is your point. Give me a break with this nonsense. People like you justify silly things in the name of tradition or culture. Did I say he should allow the man starve? I said the father is not repentant. That is the problem I have with you africans. You did something wrong but rather than say you were wrong and fix the problem, you feel too big to do it. Being the father does not automatically absolve him from the things he did. When you feel bad about something you apologize and you do not apologize with a "but" in it. That is wrong. When you say I helped my son but did not see him for twelve years and besides the reason why I could not take care of him financially is because of all the wives and children I chose to have you pretty much are slapping the person in the face. I don't know your situation and frankly I don't even care to know. I am glad you were able to forgive your father. It is always better to forgive. It heals your soul. Wonderful for you.
The only thing that this man has done by talking about this is show the type of person he is. He is an older person and it is possible that people talked him into it. The fact that his son makes millions does not mean that his father should live that way even if they were in good terms. Sorry that is not how life is. Please do not use polygamy to excuse away people's failures. It is because of things like this that you see young men in their 40's still carrying on this tradition and ruining lives. Michael was lucky that he got a contract to play ball. Had he not had the contract he might have ended up being an armed robber or doing 419 and this same father might be the same one saying "I knew that woman and her children would end up nowhere". It happens all the time.

otondo55:

Essien should forgive and forget.

He must help not only the father but the entire

extended family, Yes! he can do it.

And that should be done fast.

Yes. Not only the extended family. In fact he should build London bridge in Kumasi

outstrip please pause a second think this through. you say michael was lucky to get a contract? i say he had a father that cared enough to give him the platform to reach his goal. is that not what our parents r there for? they do what they can to give us a platform to succeed in life. James Essien gave his son just that platform. the fact that he has not seen his boy in 15 years is testament to the fact that his son does not want to see him not that he did not want to see his son. a man earning 3 pounds per month spent 6 pounds in one day to take his son for trials, are you people blind

Outstrip:

I do not have to come from a polygamous family to understand that the man FAILED woefully as a father. You obviously are purposely closing your eyes to the facts. Even the old man admitted to it so what is your point. Give me a break with this nonsense. People like you justify silly things in the name of tradition or culture. Did I say he should allow the man starve? I said the father is not repentant. That is the problem I have with you africans. You did something wrong but rather than say you were wrong and fix the problem, you feel too big to do it. Being the father does not automatically absolve him from the things he did. When you feel bad about something you apologize and you do not apologize with a "but" in it. That is wrong. When you say I helped my son but did not see him for twelve years and besides the reason why I could not take care of him financially is because of all the wives and children I chose to have you pretty much are slapping the person in the face. I don't know your situation and frankly I don't even care to know. I am glad you were able to forgive your father. It is always better to forgive. It heals your soul. Wonderful for you.
The only thing that this man has done by talking about this is show the type of person he is. He is an older person and it is possible that people talked him into it. The fact that his son makes millions does not mean that his father should live that way even if they were in good terms. Sorry that is not how life is. Please do not use polygamy to excuse away people's failures. It is because of things like this that you see young men in their 40's still carrying on this tradition and ruining lives. Michael was lucky that he got a contract to play ball. Had he not had the contract he might have ended up being an armed robber or doing 419 and this same father might be the same one saying "I knew that woman and her children would end up nowhere". It happens all the time.

I think everyone will agree that it is wrong of many of our elders having many kids that their income can not cater for, but why did you overlook the bit that bothers on the man being the one that went all the way to send him to school and kick start his football career? We could never know if he would have turn out to be what he is today if the old man hasn't done what he did then.

Outstrip:

You are saying for humanity's sake but his father feels that he deserves it simply because he donated spermatozoa. I still say the man is unrepentant. If Michael wants to do it because he wants to then fine. I will not judge him. I was not there when he had to watch his mother hustle and struggle to make ends meet for 5 children. The father is going to the public trying to make a son look bad after spending most of the child's childhood making him feel like a reject. T[b]he man should show some humility. I am thinking that they offered him some money to tell the story[/b]. The man just does not get it and at this age I don't think he ever will. Good luck to them.

we all agreed the father was wrong, failed, neglected his duties for whatever reason he had, but does that justifies Michael living him to rot in that condition?

how comfortable will Michael feel if his father dies of a common infection like tetanus that could be treated with less than $200?

what more humility are you asking for, that life has not already taking from him?

even if your thinking is true, no one would have offered him money if Michael had done the right thing. Poverty is a disease and poverty makes people do stupid things

when i read the topic, i was like, so he abandoned essien and now wants to use politics to ply some dough out of the poor guy's hands. well after reading through, it wasn't a clear case of what i thot. i think it is possible. essien's mum must have really taken it out on the man by bringing them up to hate him. it was a divorce not an abandon case. she was even lucky, or not (but now is) to have the children.

abeg, wahala full ground. why essien no fit forgive the father for something wey no dey clear sef. if the guy jus throway 100,000 GBP the old man side, e (essien) go die?

thats a bit heartless and tactless. a guy like essien should know that a time like this would come, and he should have prevented it by taking care of his father, loved or not.

we are not like other people. we are afrikans. we love till death, we love without knowing a dictionary definition of love. if the man na naija am sure that some chelsea fans for don dey take care of the old boi just because of essien. what a mess.

Essienwait till your father dies, then you will know. even if you pretend, you will know. inside.

Michael Essien should not forget that God has blessed him so that he can affect his family . He should do more for his father because the father did his best for him . No matter what the old  man had done to him in the past he should forget because he is a man too and only God knows how his marrital life will end . We cant be more intelligent than God . From the pictures , he is not doing enough ,after all he has the means

The fact that father failed woefully should not make Essien to treat him badly.

Looking at that old man in the pictures and imagining the opulence that Micheal lives in show that something is not just right.

Micheal is weak man since forgiveness is an attribute of only the strong.

ilugunboy:

The fact that father failed woefully should not make Essien to treat him badly.

Looking at that old man in the pictures and imagining the opulence that Micheal lives in show that something is not just right.

Micheal is weak man since forgiveness is an attribute of only the strong.

You are very right. True forgiveness is easier said than done

We men need to learn to be responsible and committed to our immediate family. Ever so often similar stories repeat itself over and over. Some men at their prime feel like they should "enjoy" life, at the end life becomes miserable for them. Put your immediate family first. Take very good care of your children and your wife. Polygamy begets so much avoidable sorrows, regrets and under achievement.

@Jean,

From some posts here, the man took care of his family o!, at least he got  the son a scholarship and took him to a few football try outs. What more could you expect from Father? a polygamous one for that matter?

OAM4J:

we all agreed the father was wrong, failed, neglected his duties for whatever reason he had, but does that justifies Michael living him to rot in that condition?

how comfortable will Michael feel if his father dies of a common infection like tetanus that could be treated with less than $200?

what more humility are you asking for, that life has not already taking from him?

even if your thinking is true, no one would have offered him money if Michael had done the right thing. Poverty is a disease and poverty makes people do silly things

The son arranged for the man to be taken to a hospital, the man said he wanted traditional healers, that the son should send money for traditional healers which he did.

Well, i pity the man sha but essien should show mercy, afterall the man is his father wether he like it or not. Having read all those posts, i don't even know what to say again. Shit happens but he just have to deal with it. In summary, Essien should forgive his dad.

Well,one thing i want essien to realize is that he got to stardom not by his power but by the grace of God, so many talented people are out there,talented than him but they never had this opportunity.We should all learn to forgive, its normal for people to hurt us, but we need to forgive, he can do better than that, he should take care of his dad

@posters (especially all those who support the path of forgiveness)

What you are asking for is necessary but not absolutely important. why do i say so.
I am from a polygamous family (7 wives and 21 children) and unfortunately we got kicked out when i was only 4. I can tell you that what you face from that point on is not something decent for the eyes to see or musical for the ears to hear or palatable for the tongue to taste.

At that age with a younger sister and brother to take care of, are you aware of the countless opportunities that very bad people in this country Nigeria have to take advantage of poor single mothers (father-less) children Like i mentioned earlier you can only imagine the tribulations that such a family goes through, you cannot recount them without opening yourself to psychological and emotional trauma. All i can say is. I am very lucky to be alive and well today. I cannot say so for countless of single mums/kids abandoned by their fathers.

When I look back and think of it, forgiveness is just a matter for closure so at least when your kids ask if they have a Grandpa, you can always say yes (but the memories will always remain not the hurt). It is his choice of character not to be like his Father but if he chooses not to forgive any more than he has chosen to at least send him something (even if paltry) then I believe no one can suggest otherwise unless they have been through the same experience and have the character to do so shikenan

i hope new generation will learn something here. it is time menfolks especially start saving for their future.
how can a whole 70something years old man not have a saving for old age?
africans should stop this "my first born/the rich ones among them should take care of me and other siblings.
he spent his younger days running after women, now he is old and crying that Mike is not helping him? terrible.

5 wives with just one kini? ewooo,

i agree- had michael ended up as an armed robber or motor park tout there'd be no story and his dad would even deny fathering him.

however, be that as it may, the man seems to be strongly traditional (re:going to a traditional healer instead of hospital) and in addition, exposing himself to the media like this is not good.

it shows he has no relationship whatsoever with his son.

micheal's mother needs to step in at this point and send the man some money.

and where on earth are the other children?

i dont understand. if the father wasn't there to care for his childhood, why should he expect the son to care for him now?

if michael chooses to rise above, fine.
if not, the old dude ain't got no effin claim men.


this is a reminder to you young bloods out there to respect and care for your families while you can.
what goes around comes around

essien mama don bewitch am make e the look only am. see am abeg, im mama the live among cream de la cream and im papa the live among dirt de la dirt, abegi. sometimes even old man wey person neva know before, if e see say e the suffer too much e fit help am then come talk of your papa! abegi.

@ Kgdavid

You must be careful with what you read into singular events in a story.

So what if he took him to his first soccer school? So what if he got him a scholarship?

It is the frequency of activities that matters, not when he feels I want to be good, and expects praise for what he SHOULD be doing for his child.

Something tells me that if M.E had this frequency, his heart will not be this hard towards the man, no matter wetin im mama tell am.

Let me give you a personal example.

I have one useless family member, an uncle. From when he was young, he refused to study or learn a trade even though my papa was pushing him and paying for anything. This arsehole, got a woman pregnant before I was even born and then left the mother with the kid.

My dad took his nephew in from the age of 8 to ensure he gets the best so the mother starts to set up a life of hers (she later remarried and had other kids, but she visited very frequently).

The kid never set eyes on his father till he was in his thirties. The man just disappeared and was enjoying himself as no one knew where he was. I bet he had a lot of kids he must have abandoned in the process as at least one woman has gone to an elderly granny to demand funds from "the family".

When he finally reappeared, and the arsehole was residing in boys quarters, he got another younger woman pregnant and born 5 more kids, he could not afford to take care of. He stayed and acted father for a while and the kids knew him. But he has disappeared again and abandoned them with the mother who is a stark illiterate. My dad, a pensioner has had to take the 5 boys in again, and it is us abroad that are funding their upkeep and schooling. Pretty sharp kids , still all under 15, youngest is about 5.

I am sure the arsehole is somewhere producing more kids, now when in future he is old, I am sure he will be able to recant some period he provided for this 5 kids (forget the first one, he provided zilt) and then say "he is the father, so they should take care of him when he is no more able, that is tradition" (old age is soon as he is getting close to late 60s). Is he worthy of this privilege based on his singular events of care that were not frequent? Where was he when the 12 year old (then) broke his leg when he was playing football? Who took him to hospital for surgery?

Me, I have told family that "NO chance in HELL will I give him any funds when he is old"! He is a wicked and selfish arsehole that I will watch as he suffers.

OAM4J:

we all agreed the father was wrong, failed, neglected his duties for whatever reason he had, but does that justifies Michael living him to rot in that condition?

how comfortable will Michael feel if his father dies of a common infection like tetanus that could be treated with less than $200?

what more humility are you asking for, that life has not already taking from him?

even if your thinking is true, no one would have offered him money if Michael had done the right thing. Poverty is a disease and poverty makes people do silly things

Apparently, M.E tried to take get people to take him to hospital but he said he wanted a traditional solution.

Akabi_boy:

What about his identity as an Essien? Can he change that?

And so what if he carries an Essien name? That is enough reason to care?