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I Am Traumatized! I Am Scared Of Going Into Any Relationship.. - Romance - Nairaland

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I Am Traumatized! I Am Scared Of Going Into Any Relationship.. by LamarJR(m): 9:38am On May 20, 2018
Good morning everyone

I have been single for a long while now not because I can't get a girlfriend but because each time I want to start a relationship, I become very sad as my past begins to hunt me and I immediately cut all ties.

-The past -

I had a girlfriend when I was 18 years old, she was 19 met her in a church and so I thought she was God sent because I loved her soooo much and I swear then I could give me life and kill for her!
We were both jambites then waiting for admission, we dated for a year and then we both got admitted into separate universities, that was how our problem started.

She suddenly changed after she got into uni, she was not longer paying attention to me. She no longer picks my call, whenever she picks my calls she will give flimsy excuses like her being really busy with school.
She started to demand for money almost all the time of which I do send to her if I have but she never let me visit her in school except when we are on holidays we see Back home.
And then I got a text from her after few months of her acting strange that she has a boyfriend now who she intends to spend the rest of her life with and that I should move on.

I was devastated!
It was like the world came crashing down on me.
I pleaded with her all to no avail.
And then I moved on.

But now I am not able to stay in a relationship because I am soo scared that the girl I am with might change in me just like my ex did, I always get this thought in my head "people change, what if this girl changes on you?" i get very scared and leave the relationship.

I want this to stop but I don't know how to make this stop.
The pain my ex caused me left a scar and each time I look at the scar I don't want anything to do with any woman because I feel they will break my heart sooner or later and only time will tell...

cry but I'm scared if I continue like this I might not be able to have a family of my own, have kids. We all want that. But I don't want my woman to leave me after a while. Because I did everything I could for my ex she left....
Re: I Am Traumatized! I Am Scared Of Going Into Any Relationship.. by coolestofall(m): 9:56am On May 20, 2018
Right now dat bitch still has a hold on ur life. Shake it off mehn! Never let a bitch hv d upper hand. I knw it fing hurts but I bet u'll never want her 2 meet u in ur current state.
What 2 do, b a better guy in all ramification dat no girl can ever refuse u or think there cn b anyone better. Money helps but its not d key.The key is mad confidence, not arrogance. Falling in love but never get needy. Never b scared of heart break, shit I love heart breaks, it makes me better cos it makes me realize theres smthing abt myself I need 2 work on. Right now I'm a badass guy. I cn never b refused by any f-ing girl.

Teamucanalwaysbbetter

5 Likes

Re: I Am Traumatized! I Am Scared Of Going Into Any Relationship.. by Nobody: 10:02am On May 20, 2018
When you see a guy keeping more than 2 girlfriends, you think he's just being cruel? Its girls who forced them into doing so. Almost every guy have gone thru what u went thru, its not new. When she face disappointment in her adventure, she will come back to you...the guy will dump her after fuccking her to his satisfaction. By then if you're wise, you won't reject her. Just play ur card well and add her to ur crew of sex materials then fucck d hell out of her life and collect money from her sef, bcus she may leave again and the person she's going to will also fucck her so why shd you be the one to lose out?

As much as girls say they don't like sex, they still have sexual experience more than guys bcus it comes calling for them free of charge while you have to spend so much to get a little of it. Thats how they'll go fuccking around, when its time to marry, they'll lie to thier fiancee that they've dated only 2 guys. So don't dull yourself

No age gap for a lady is secure..eat thier pusssy while the opportunity lasts. A teenager like ur ex wants to experience adventure with men, they don't have anywhere they belong till 25. If you don't believe me, ask Nina of bbnaija. After 25, their desperation increase to stay with one guy for marriage, its at this stage that its easy and dramatic to deceive them. But some may go as far as using juju or tying you down with another mans pregnancy.

The best treatment for girl matter is...don't have just one, keep as much as you can so as not to rely ur mind on any. When one misbehave, switch. When she comes back begging, accept her and continue the fucck as season 2 and harder.

14 Likes

Re: I Am Traumatized! I Am Scared Of Going Into Any Relationship.. by Sarkin(m): 10:13am On May 20, 2018
Be a man and forget about those unnecessary stuff...
We have to accept loss for it not only enlightens us but makes us stronger.

No fear anything...

4 Likes

Re: I Am Traumatized! I Am Scared Of Going Into Any Relationship.. by Nobody: 10:21am On May 20, 2018
When I was your age, pusssy was my problem.

1 Like

Re: I Am Traumatized! I Am Scared Of Going Into Any Relationship.. by mrphysics(m): 10:21am On May 20, 2018
grin grin
Re: I Am Traumatized! I Am Scared Of Going Into Any Relationship.. by Nobody: 10:33am On May 20, 2018
Op, lemme ask you a question, how old are you now?

Your age will determine the kind of advise I will give
Re: I Am Traumatized! I Am Scared Of Going Into Any Relationship.. by tetralogyfallot(m): 10:39am On May 20, 2018
Guy try 2 move on . there's a yoruba adage that says when we choose to close our eyes so that bad people will pass, u will not be able to c when the good ones are passing. Open your eyes bro n explore, there are still millions of good girls out there waiting for your attention.

2 Likes

Re: I Am Traumatized! I Am Scared Of Going Into Any Relationship.. by LordKO(m): 10:59am On May 20, 2018
@OP

You've to know the root cause of your problem in order to have a permanent cure for it. You gave out your (a sane human being) most valuable assets, your dominion and dignity. Anyways, the good thing is that you can regain them through self-realization. Believe that you already have them back immediately.

Now, that you've your dominion and dignity intact, make a conscious decision (promise yourself) to always choose principle over expediency at all times; become a proponent and practitioner of the axiom "he who comes into equity must come with clean hands." This by extension will make you a good and nonsense guy.

As a good and nononse guy, look out for a lady that tickles your fancy and approach her for good. If she shows interest you take it up from there. And in the course of familiarizing with her (at the inception of dating), if you observed any act of hypocrisy and insincerity, and presumptuousness and domineeringness from her, you sever from her automatically - subject to what you can or cannot tolerate in the long run. This is so because behind every hypocritically disingenuous person (one that possesses hypocrisy and insincerity) is someone with moral vices, while behind every conceited person (one that possesses presumptuousness, domineeringness and cynicism) is someone with psychological vices.

Emotion will always betray pretence, therefore, the carriers of the vices I mentioned above usually reveals themselves within the 1-3 time meeting you may have with them. Your ability to go into any relationship as one who have achieved self-realization will save you from experiencing heartbreak and being used by small-minded people.

You neither need to be a bad person nor a weakling as a person to feel fly in a romantic relationship in particular and any other form of relationship in general.

To be principled is to be conscientious. Be conscientious and go for a lady of same leanings.

12 Likes 4 Shares

Re: I Am Traumatized! I Am Scared Of Going Into Any Relationship.. by ubunja(m): 11:04am On May 20, 2018
RadicallyBlunt:
When you see a guy keeping more than 2 girlfriends, you think he's just being cruel? Its girls who forced them into doing so. Almost every guy has gone thru what u went thru, its not new. When she face disappointment in her adventure, she will come back to you. By then if you're wise, you won't reject her. Just play ur card well and add her to ur crew of sex materials then fucck d hell out of her life and collect money from her sef.

No age gap for a lady is secure..eat thier pusssy while the opportunity lasts. A teenager like ur ex wants to experience adventure with men, they don't have anywhere they belong till 25. If you don't believe me, ask Nina of bbnaija. After 25, their desperation increase to stay with one guy for marriage, its at this stage that its easy and dramatic to deceive them. But some may go as far as using juju or tying you down with another mans pregnancy.

The best treatment for girl matter is...don't have just one, keep as much as you can so as not to rely ur mind on any. When one misbehave, switch. When she comes back begging, continue the fucck as season 2 and harder.
Re: I Am Traumatized! I Am Scared Of Going Into Any Relationship.. by austyn0(m): 12:38pm On May 20, 2018
tetralogyfallot:
Guy try 2 move on . there's a yoruba adage that says when we choose to close our eyes so that bad people will pass, u will not be able to c when the good ones are passing. Open your eyes bro n explore, there are still millions of good girls out there waiting for your attention.
Pure broh....

2 Likes

Re: I Am Traumatized! I Am Scared Of Going Into Any Relationship.. by Marshalxv(m): 12:52pm On May 20, 2018
Like someone said up there ,we all have been there one time or the other. Think of your happiness and focus on your future.

This is how to overcome; do not go into any relationship with expectations, take things the way you see them.

Guide your heart not to love and trust too much.

Always have this mind set that nothing lasts forever, enjoy the moment while it last.

Don't give more than you receive.

Treat every girl with whatever she brings to the table.
This is how I always win bro. Good luck

3 Likes

Re: I Am Traumatized! I Am Scared Of Going Into Any Relationship.. by Nobody: 1:30pm On May 20, 2018
So OP, why are you disturbing and killing yourself on top nothing? First, na by force to get GF? Somethings you people waste your time on ain't worth it. Bring yourself back to life, reset your brain by yourself and start living abeg. And when girls are in school or serving as a corper, they'd think they've arrived. They'd abandon everyone they've known and enjoy the head of their life. Only after they are through with it all and realised they are still single and age yaff commot for body finish would they remember someone somewhere that care about them. Thunder fia any girl wey wan act such movie for me. I go kuku take if you give me. Na to chop and clean mouth.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Traumatized! I Am Scared Of Going Into Any Relationship.. by kingxsamz(m): 3:32pm On May 20, 2018
for now... no time for love bro... can't trust these girls. just bang and move on to the next one.

2 Likes

Re: I Am Traumatized! I Am Scared Of Going Into Any Relationship.. by LamarJR(m): 4:01pm On May 20, 2018
kingxsamz:
for now... no time for love bro...
can't trust these girls.
just bang and move on to the next one.

Lol Okay thanks
Re: I Am Traumatized! I Am Scared Of Going Into Any Relationship.. by LamarJR(m): 4:02pm On May 20, 2018
paybak:
So OP, why are you disturbing and killing yourself on top nothing? First, na by force to get GF? Somethings you people waste your time on ain't worth it. Bring yourself back to life, reset your brain by yourself and start living abeg. And when girls are in school or serving as a corper, they'd think they've arrived. They'd abandon everyone they've known and enjoy the head of their life. Only after they are through with it all and realised they are still single and age yaff commot for body finish would they remember someone somewhere that care about them. Thunder fia any girl wey wan act such movie for me. I go kuku take if you give me. Na to chop and clean mouth.

Lolz thanks boss
Re: I Am Traumatized! I Am Scared Of Going Into Any Relationship.. by LamarJR(m): 4:03pm On May 20, 2018
Marshalxv:
Like someone said up there ,we all have been there one time or the other. Think of your happiness and focus on your future.

This is how to overcome; do not go into any relationship with expectations, take things the way you see them.

Guide your heart not to love and trust too much.

Always have this mind set that nothing lasts forever, enjoy the moment while it last.

Don't give more than you receive.

Treat every girl with whatever she brings to the table.
This is how I always win bro. Good luck

Thanks very much. This was really helpful # bless
Re: I Am Traumatized! I Am Scared Of Going Into Any Relationship.. by LamarJR(m): 4:05pm On May 20, 2018
LordKO:
@OP

You've to know the root cause of your problem in order to have a permanent cure for it. You gave out your (a sane human being) most valuable assets, your dominion and dignity. Anyways, the good thing is that you can regain them through self-realization. Believe that you already have them back immediately.

Now, that you've your dominion and dignity intact, make a conscious decision (promise yourself) to always choose principle over expediency at all times; become a proponent and practitioner of the axiom "he who comes into equity must come with clean hands." This by extension will make you a good and nonsense guy.

As a good and nononse guy, look out for a lady that tickles your fancy and approach her for good. If she shows interest you take it up from there. And in the course of familiarizing with her (at the inception of dating), if you observed any act of hypocrisy and insincerity, and presumptuousness and domineeringness from her, you sever from her automatically - subject to what you can or cannot tolerate in the long run. This is so because behind every hypocritically disingenuous person (one that possesses hypocrisy and insincerity) is someone with moral vices, while behind every conceited person (one that possesses presumptuousness, domineeringness and cynicism) is someone with psychological vices.

Emotion will always betray pretence, therefore, the carriers of the vices I mentioned above usually reveals themselves within the 1-3 time meeting you may have with them. Your ability to go into any relationship as one who have achieved self-realization will save you from experiencing heartbreak and being used by small-minded people.

You neither need to be a bad person nor a weakling as a person to feel fly in a romantic relationship in particular and any other form of relationship in general.

To be principled is to be conscientious. Be conscientious and go for a lady of same leanings.




Thanks very much boss, words of wisdom # bless

1 Like

Re: I Am Traumatized! I Am Scared Of Going Into Any Relationship.. by Nobody: 4:06pm On May 20, 2018
Oga just go and arrange ur life n become Successful

The right person will come at the right time

1 Like

Re: I Am Traumatized! I Am Scared Of Going Into Any Relationship.. by LamarJR(m): 4:06pm On May 20, 2018
24sqm:
Op, lemme ask you a question, how old are you now?

Your age will determine the kind of advise I will give

25 this year
Re: I Am Traumatized! I Am Scared Of Going Into Any Relationship.. by Danny110(m): 4:39pm On May 20, 2018
LamarJR:


Thanks very much. This was really helpful # bless
I love u bro...

As for d poster!
Will Smith once said in one of his quote
"Love urself,be urself, don't try to please anyone,d right girl dat loves u will come and she'll stay"
My word for u bro is dat u shld try to forget d past,and remember, not all girls re dsame,... another quote from me
"If u love her, let her go,if she comes back,shes urs,if she doesn't, she never was"
So she's not in ur life cos she was never urs,see it dat u tried ur best n dt it was her choice t leave...live ur life,be happy,hv some sense of humour,BE NEAT! nd soon u get urself anoda bae,,nd try not t show ur feeling too much,act strange n mean at times, make her wonder if u ever love her n wen it's becoming like u dnt,show her excess love,gv full n half current,never gv her only full current....
I wish u success on d adventure wink

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am Traumatized! I Am Scared Of Going Into Any Relationship.. by LamarJR(m): 6:39pm On May 20, 2018
Danny110:

I love u bro...

As for d poster!
Will Smith once said in one of his quote
"Love urself,be urself, don't try to please anyone,d right girl dat loves u will come and she'll stay"
My word for u bro is dat u shld try to forget d past,and remember, not all girls re dsame,... another quote from me
"If u love her, let her go,if she comes back,shes urs,if she doesn't, she never was"
So she's not in ur life cos she was never urs,see it dat u tried ur best n dt it was her choice t leave...live ur life,be happy,hv some sense of humour,BE NEAT! nd soon u get urself anoda bae,,nd try not t show ur feeling too much,act strange n mean at times, make her wonder if u ever love her n wen it's becoming like u dnt,show her excess love,gv full n half current,never gv her only full current....
I wish u success on d adventure wink

Lol thanks. Na so brother

1 Like

Re: I Am Traumatized! I Am Scared Of Going Into Any Relationship.. by secondincommand: 11:22pm On May 20, 2018
LordKO:
@OP

You've to know the root cause of your problem in order to have a permanent cure for it. You gave out your (a sane human being) most valuable assets, your dominion and dignity. Anyways, the good thing is that you can regain them through self-realization. Believe that you already have them back immediately.

Now, that you've your dominion and dignity intact, make a conscious decision (promise yourself) to always choose principle over expediency at all times; become a proponent and practitioner of the axiom "he who comes into equity must come with clean hands." This by extension will make you a good and nonsense guy.

As a good and nononse guy, look out for a lady that tickles your fancy and approach her for good. If she shows interest you take it up from there. And in the course of familiarizing with her (at the inception of dating), if you observed any act of hypocrisy and insincerity, and presumptuousness and domineeringness from her, you sever from her automatically - subject to what you can or cannot tolerate in the long run. This is so because behind every hypocritically disingenuous person (one that possesses hypocrisy and insincerity) is someone with moral vices, while behind every conceited person (one that possesses presumptuousness, domineeringness and cynicism) is someone with psychological vices.

Emotion will always betray pretence, therefore, the carriers of the vices I mentioned above usually reveals themselves within the 1-3 time meeting you may have with them. Your ability to go into any relationship as one who have achieved self-realization will save you from experiencing heartbreak and being used by small-minded people.

You neither need to be a bad person nor a weakling as a person to feel fly in a romantic relationship in particular and any other form of relationship in general.

To be principled is to be conscientious. Be conscientious and go for a lady of same leanings.



what kind of confusion ,transition ,is this pls b r e a k e it down we are not dictionary biko.chinsos cheesy

1 Like

Re: I Am Traumatized! I Am Scared Of Going Into Any Relationship.. by Ennyhorlar(m): 11:52pm On May 20, 2018
You never jam Better girl..

I am sorry you lost your Gf to guys on campus... LOL

Lol..

Lol

So all these 100level girls do have Boyfriend before gaining admission
Re: I Am Traumatized! I Am Scared Of Going Into Any Relationship.. by edimolu(m): 12:00am On May 21, 2018
hmmmm
Re: I Am Traumatized! I Am Scared Of Going Into Any Relationship.. by liciousoge(f): 12:11am On May 21, 2018
For you to be sounding like this that means you are still in school and
Not up to 27+? Well, my advice for you my dear is to forget about women and concentrate on your studies, graduate, get a good job and a steady income, have an apartment then you can talk about women and how to start up your own family.. because my dear, you still have a long way to go. Good morning everyone

I have been single for a long while now not because I can't get a girlfriend but because each time I want to start a relationship, I become very sad as my past begins to hunt me and I immediately cut all ties.

-The past -

I had a girlfriend when I was 18 years old, she was 19 met her in a church and so I thought she was God sent because I loved her soooo much and I swear then I could give me life and kill for her!
We were both jambites then waiting for admission, we dated for a year and then we both got admitted into separate universities, that was how our problem started.

She suddenly changed after she got into uni, she was not longer paying attention to me. She no longer picks my call, whenever she picks my calls she will give flimsy excuses like her being really busy with school.
She started to demand for money almost all the time of which I do send to her if I have but she never let me visit her in school except when we are on holidays we see Back home.
And then I got a text from her after few months of her acting strange that she has a boyfriend now who she intends to spend the rest of her life with and that I should move on.

I was devastated!
It was like the world came crashing down on me.
I pleaded with her all to no avail.
And then I moved on.

But now I am not able to stay in a relationship because I am soo scared that the girl I am with might change in me just like my ex did, I always get this thought in my head "people change, what if this girl changes on you?" i get very scared and leave the relationship.

I want this to stop but I don't know how to make this stop.
The pain my ex caused me left a scar and each time I look at the scar I don't want anything to do with any woman because I feel they will break my heart sooner or later and only time will tell...

cry but I'm scared if I continue like this I might not be able to have a family of my own, have kids. We all want that. But I don't want my woman to leave me after a while. Because I did everything I could for my ex she left.... [/quote]
Re: I Am Traumatized! I Am Scared Of Going Into Any Relationship.. by myke92(m): 12:59am On May 21, 2018
Bro, take a good look at yourself in the mirror, and ask yourself these.. . Who is charge of my happiness? Who controls my feelings?... What was your answer?
Man up and snap out of the past experience, Time heals, so give it some time, you will definitely heal..

In the mean time, try not to jump into another relationship hurriedly, instead, make as much friends as possible, both females and males, become more open with people, don't yet get so attached to one person, rather improve your self worth, be more social, be more active., eventually, that SCAR will fade off.

If you'd eventually get into a relationship, get in with an open mind.. PEACE!

2 Likes

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