Hi everyone, Goodafternoon .......
I hope someone gives me a listening ear here...
I'm a lady of diverse views and beliefs about religion, let's just say I'm a Christian because I'm married to a Christian, I have a child and I'm expectant of the next...I follow my hubby to church just to make him happy...I'm a member of the choir because I've got a great voice and I love to sing.....
Something happened recently to me....
I went for a vigil and the preacher (invited guest), started prayers, even as a regular Christian, I ain't a fan of shaking body and head vigorously when praying, so the preacher insisted EVERYONE stands, but I rebelled and refused to do as he says, and because he noticed that I was a member of the choir, he said right from the altar that I ain't supposed to be a minister, immediately my heart sank, the following day, The issues generated lots of controversies in the church, and the group has decided to punish me, I don't know what the punishment will be, but I guess it will either be an indefinite suspension or I'm being asked to apologize to the whole church....
Normally, if I weren't married, I would leave the church with immediate effect, as I do not think I should be forced to pray in a way and manner I do not believe in...
But I'm married, my husband would not have himself and the kid go to another church, while I stay at home...Or have us go to separate churches...
I'm also thinking of what effect this would have on my kid and my home (marriage) in general

SMH
When you refused to stand I assumed it was in a very obvious way and everyone noticed ...

I don't think it's about your refusal to stand but how you did it..

Either way what is done is done no use crying over spilt orange juice

Now it seems you never eat liked the church then why do you attend it in the first place ?

Marriage isn't bondage where you force yourself to do things you just don't feel good doing..hence communication, you need to sit with your husband and explain your feelings to him about the church I am sure he will understand...

Either way now is a good time to change Church since this whole drama seems to have escalated and also you need to worry leess about people and what they think about you, as long as you aren't hurting anyone then it's just dirt in your shoulder

Sit with your hubby and have a chat with him about switching to a new church then next time you run into the pastor in public ask him if you may be sitted

Stop worrying it's not such a big deal .. but if you want to remain in that church not because of anyone but because you like it then if they demand an apology just give on and remain there

Life is about compromise but your happiness is Paramount

UnknownQueen:
Hi everyone, Goodafternoon .......
I hope someone gives me a listening ear here...
I'm a lady of diverse views and beliefs about religion, let's just say I'm a Christian because I'm married to a Christian, I have a child and I'm expectant of the next...I follow my hubby to church just to make him happy...I'm a member of the choir because I've got a great voice and I love to sing.....
Something happened recently to me....
I went for a vigil and the preacher (invited guest), started prayers, even as a regular Christian, I ain't a fan of shaking body and head vigorously when praying, so the preacher insisted EVERYONE stands, but I rebelled and refused to do as he says, and because he noticed that I was a member of the choir, he said right from the altar that I ain't supposed to be a minister, immediately my heart sank, the following day, The issues generated lots of controversies in the church, and the group has decided to punish me, I don't know what the punishment will be, but I guess it will either be an indefinite suspension or I'm being asked to apologize to the whole church....
Normally, if I weren't married, I would leave the church with immediate effect, as I do not think I should be forced to pray in a way and manner I do not believe in...
But I'm married, my husband would not have himself and the kid go to another church, while I stay at home...Or have us go to separate churches...
I'm also thinking of what effect this would have on my kid and my home (marriage) in general

Do you know of anyone that has served a punishment in this respect, learn from such what it could be like. If your church have tenets, I mean a handbook that reads their rules, regulations and punishment, take a time to learn the measure meted for such a behavior. Know God yourself and submit to authorities.

Simply tell them you owe the no explanation, people sit during such periods for different reasons, ranging from discomforts to sickness etc. Your church people are jobless gossips if they actually made a mountain out of this and the minister who said those words to u is sick, tell him I said so

UnknownQueen:
Hi everyone, Goodafternoon .......
I hope someone gives me a listening ear here...
I'm a lady of diverse views and beliefs about religion, let's just say I'm a Christian because I'm married to a Christian, I have a child and I'm expectant of the next...I follow my hubby to church just to make him happy...I'm a member of the choir because I've got a great voice and I love to sing.....
Something happened recently to me....
I went for a vigil and the preacher (invited guest), started prayers, even as a regular Christian, I ain't a fan of shaking body and head vigorously when praying, so the preacher insisted EVERYONE stands, but I rebelled and refused to do as he says, and because he noticed that I was a member of the choir, he said right from the altar that I ain't supposed to be a minister, immediately my heart sank, the following day, The issues generated lots of controversies in the church, and the group has decided to punish me, I don't know what the punishment will be, but I guess it will either be an indefinite suspension or I'm being asked to apologize to the whole church....
Normally, if I weren't married, I would leave the church with immediate effect, as I do not think I should be forced to pray in a way and manner I do not believe in...
But I'm married, my husband would not have himself and the kid go to another church, while I stay at home...Or have us go to separate churches...
I'm also thinking of what effect this would have on my kid and my home (marriage) in general

First and foremost, why did the pastor ask everyone to stand up?

Did he ask a question that required a stand or sit response? For example: Can those who believe in Jesus please stand? And you remained sitted?

Second, Was it a tradition of the church to stand up for certain prayers? Is this documented in their doctrine?

Or Was he just asking people to just get up so they can start stamping their feet on the ground and shouting because of something he had said in the heat of the moment?

If it's for the third reason, please kindly leave that church. The pastor must be a megalomaniac. Churches where gossip and judging amongst its members is encouraged by the pastor as a result of a personal issue not one divinely mandated, should be avoided at all costs.
Example: A church where the pastor whips it's members for not singing in a high enough voice or where the members victimize another who came to report a spiritual issue they are having, or where a sinner confesses to the church seeking forgiveness and the pastor reveals his/her sin to the congregation to ridicule/punish that person

Indeed for all of the above reasons he has no right to punish you as God himself sees our hearts and knows who really wants to serve Him. God himself would do the punishing if he sees fit.

What he should have done was to caution you in private. If he is a true shepherd, he risks losing your soul by such behaviour, what sort of shepherd places his pride before the well being of his sheep?

Modified: I just read your post again and i see it's the third reason. My dear, I know how you feel, we all serve God in our best ways and you do not belong there. Please find an old generation church like Catholic to attend, where worship is done in reverence and orderly manner not going radical, leave these people who think going crazy in the presence of God is a godly habit. Let God be the judge.

Lakeside79:
SMH
When you refused to stand I assumed it was in a very obvious way and everyone noticed ...

I don't think it's about your refusal to stand but how you did it..

Either way what is done is done no use crying over spilt orange juice

Now it seems you never eat liked the church then why do you attend it in the first place ?


Marriage isn't bondage where you force yourself to do things you just don't feel good doing..hence communication, you need to sit with your husband and explain your feelings to him about the church I am sure he will understand...

Either way now is a good time to change Church since this whole drama seems to have escalated and also you need to worry leess about people and what they think about you, as long as you aren't hurting anyone then it's just dirt in your shoulder

Sit with your hubby and have a chat with him about switching to a new church then next time you run into the pastor in public ask him if you may be sitted

Stop worrying it's not such a big deal .. but if you want to remain in that church not because of anyone but because you like it then if they demand an apology just give on and remain there

Life is about compromise but your happiness is Paramount

If I may ask, what is your husband saying about this?
Will he because he wants to be among he will allow his wife to be humiliated by an association?
As him his opinion then I will tell you what to do:

Who will judge the people that will judge you tomorrow?

Lakeside79:
SMH
When you refused to stand I assumed it was in a very obvious way and everyone noticed ...

I don't think it's about your refusal to stand but how you did it..

Either way what is done is done no use crying over spilt orange juice

Now it seems you never eat liked the church then why do you attend it in the first place ?

Marriage isn't bondage where you force yourself to do things you just don't feel good doing..hence communication, you need to sit with your husband and explain your feelings to him about the church I am sure he will understand...

Either way now is a good time to change Church since this whole drama seems to have escalated and also you need to worry leess about people and what they think about you, as long as you aren't hurting anyone then it's just dirt in your shoulder

Sit with your hubby and have a chat with him about switching to a new church then next time you run into the pastor in public ask him if you may be sitted

Stop worrying it's not such a big deal .. but if you want to remain in that church not because of anyone but because you like it then if they demand an apology just give on and remain there

Life is about compromise but your happiness is Paramount

I sat all through the vigil cos I had no strength to pray and shake my head like every other person was doing, at some point in the vigil I was having stomach cramps, and I was just managing hoping the vigil will come to an end fast, so when he asked everyone to stand and face another direction, i turned but was sitted and then he said ( who is that one sitted dere, can't u hear that I said stand, so I reluctantly stood and bent my head towards the chair arm, and then he started with, is she pregnant, or ure having cold, this one is not supposed to be among the choir, amongst other things he said, at that point I was angry and I didn't bulge, my pastor came to me and started hitting me at the back I still didn't say anything until the vigil ended...The following day the choir coordinator called me and I apologized, only for me to come for rehearsals the day after and she said she spoke with the members but they said they're dissatisfied with my apologies ...So she said every one will meet tomorrow and all decide what the outcome of my punishment will be, so I'm thinking two things, it's either an indefinite suspension or apologies to the whole big church.....

I've been thinking of doing a recap of what happened right before and just tell everyone of them to remove the beam in their own eyes before removing the moth in mine, but after due consultation from some people they said I should just apologize for the sake of my family (husband, kid and expectant child).

Yes I do not like the church, but overtime I've been able to adjust to their settings because of my family....I attended the church due to marriage..

My husband is very understanding and also a very committed member of the church, it will almost be impossible for him to leave the church cos of my plights and problems....I'm sure he will not also have me attend a different church while he attends his...and I'm sure if this happens , it will take a huge toll on our children...

Sincerely I'm in a big dilemma, I actually do know myself, if I'm forced to apologize in front of the church I'll make things worse....I'll be pushed to say unwarranted things no matter how had I try....

Ken4ward:


Do you know of anyone that has served a punishment in this respect, learn from such what it could be like. If your church have tenets, I mean a handbook that reads their rules, regulations and punishment, take a time to learn the measure meted for such a behavior. Know God yourself and submit to authorities.

Someone has been suspended in the group before for fornication reasons and he was made to apologize to the whole church..

I have no problem submitting to authorities o just hate been forced and coarsed into doing things against my faith and beliefs....
I'm no fan of even praying and shaking head like the hypocrites on the synagogue....Painless repetitive prayers is not even my thing.

RandyX:


First and foremost, why did the pastor ask everyone to stand up?

Did he ask a question that required a stand or sit response? For example: Can those who believe in Jesus please stand? And you remained sitted?

Second, Was it a tradition of the church to stand up for certain prayers? Is this documented in their doctrine?

Or Was he just asking people to just get up so they can start stamping their feet on the ground and shouting because of something he had said in the heat of the moment?

If it's for the third reason, please kindly leave that church. The pastor must be a megalomaniac. Churches where gossip and judging amongst its members is encouraged by the pastor as a result of a personal issue not one divinely mandated, should be avoided at all costs.
Example: A church where the pastor whips it's members for not singing in a high enough voice or where the members victimize another who came to report a spiritual issue they are having, or where a sinner confesses to the church seeking forgiveness and the pastor reveals his/her sin to the congregation to ridicule/punish that person

Indeed for all of the above reasons he has no right to punish you as God himself sees our hearts and knows who really wants to serve Him. God himself would do the punishing if he sees fit.

What he should have done was to caution you in private. If he is a true shepherd, he risks losing your soul by such behaviour, what sort of shepherd places his pride before the well being of his sheep?

Modified: I just read your post again and i see it's the third reason. My dear, I know how you feel, we all serve God in our best ways and you do not belong there. Please find an old generation church like Catholic to attend, where worship is done in reverence and orderly manner not going radical, leave these people who think going crazy in the presence of God is a godly habit. Let God be the judge.

Hi bro.....To think the church i attend is an Anglican Church, but the said preacher on that day was an invited guest (C.A.C pastor), And u know how radical those guys are....forcing there manner and style of prayer down ur throat.....I have never been a fan of that , but unfortunately I was caught in the web, I wanted to give the Pastor the piece of my mind right at the moment but I kept my cool just because of my family.....I really wished I could see the Pastor..I'll remind him of all that WENT down btw us.

sexy74:

If I may ask, what is your husband saying about this?
Will he because he wants to be among he will allow his wife to be humiliated by an association?
As him his opinion then I will tell you what to do:

After the incident, I briefly explained to my hubby what happened but I didn't go into details cos I don't know what his responses will be,
When my hubby wants to have deep discussions with me he ensures he is not very angry and finds a time when I'm in a light mood before bringing up anything...So yesterday after church service, he said he would like to have a very important discussion with me and that I should remind him if he forgets, so I suspected someone already gave him the 411 of what went down at the vigil, I have not reminded him yet and he's yet to discuss anything deep with me, I'm afraid our discussions might lead to marital crises, because I know my husband too well, he would choose the church over me any day any time, he was once their youth president and he got his present job via a vip in the church, plus he is a function member of the choir with key responsibilities in his care....Sincerely I don't know how to go about this....

You must be attending all this mushroom churches,in my church no-one would even notice you....

UnknownQueen:


After the incident, I briefly explained to my hubby what happened but I didn't go into details cos I don't know what his responses will be,
When my hubby wants to have deep discussions with me he ensures he is not very angry and finds a time when I'm in a light mood before bringing up anything...So yesterday after church service, he said he would like to have a very important discussion with me and that I should remind him if he forgets, so I suspected someone already gave him the 411 of what went down at the vigil, I have not reminded him yet and he's yet to discuss anything deep with me, I'm afraid our discussions might lead to marital crises, because I know my husband too well, he would choose the church over me any day any time, he was once their youth president and he got his present job via a vip in the church, plus he is a function member of the choir with key responsibilities in his care....Sincerely I don't know how to go about this....

Tell him what happened the heaven will not fall.
Make him understand your stand and how you felt in respect of what happened that day, you should not make him hear such things outside. Apologies for telling him late and tell him your mind, let him do whatever he wants but you have made yourself clear.
Next time they will know how to address you.

Headlesschicken:
You must be attending all this mushroom churches,in my church no-one would even notice you....

I wouldn't have been noticed, I don't like to be noticed in church but given that I am or was a member of the choir, everyone noticed.

Wake up every Sunday morning, prepare your kids for church, sit right back and cook Sunday rice biko. Your husband should understand.

How can people be worried over silly things as this

CaptJeffry:
Wake up every Sunday morning, prepare your kids for church, sit right back and cook Sunday rice biko. Your husband should understand.

How can people be worried over silly things as this

This is what I love to do but my hubby I'm scared of his decisions afterwards.....

Please come to my aid...I'm a hot soup...

UnknownQueen:


This is what I love to do but my hubby I'm scared of his decisions afterwards.....

Please come to my aid...I'm a hot soup...

What decision? You're married to him, not his church.
Ask him to make a list of his gains and losses since he joined that church sef.

Don't let that pull you down.

All the stones thrown at you, please use them to build.

It not you or them that will exonerate you, but God.

Be focused and know the will of God For your life.

The guest minister was right, you are not suppose to be a minister because you are not yet born again
you went to church just only to please your hubby
you joined the choir because you felt you have a good voice.

be sober and ammend your ways

no one is forcing you to be a Christian madam ...you sounded like you were being force to become one ....

walex2:
The guest minister was right, you are not suppose to be a minister because you are not yet born again
you went to church just only to please your hubby
you joined the choir because you felt you have a good voice.

be sober and ammend your ways

Yes I said earlier in my post that I go to church just to please my hubby, i joined the choir cos I love to sing, I believe in a creator, but I ain't a religious fanatics, I respect my family so much and I would nt let them in the Know about my belief and faith cos it will hurt them......@ least not now. .

I can't be sober and amend my ways, I simply don't believe in praying like the Pharisees and Saducees in the synagogue, with vain and repititive requests thinking God will hear them.....I simply don't believe in that and one man of the people won't force dat down on me.

You are beautiful

Berlyn1:
no one is forcing you to be a Christian madam ...you sounded like you were being force to become one ....

all these people advising you doesn't live with you at home. to be a servant of God will have to be broken.
also considered that your husband happiness is your happiness, don't ridicule your husband, swallow your pride and unconditionally apologise to the member of your church, if you disregard this and decide to leave the church, your husband will not even have a biblical principle to encourage or even advice any member of the church, they will remind him that he can not even control his own wife.

Berlyn1:
no one is forcing you to be a Christian madam ...you sounded like you were being force to become one ....

No one can force u to be one u can only pretend to be one....I'm just doing this for the love of my family.

walex2:
all these people advising you doesn't live with you at home. to be a servant of God will have to be broken.
also considered that your husband happiness is your happiness, don't ridicule your husband, swallow your pride and unconditionally apologise to the member of your church, if you disregard this and decide to leave the church, your husband will not even have a biblical principle to encourage or even advice any member of the church, they will remind him that he can not even control his own wife.

You're right!!!!!

That's the web I'm caught in between...

Pretending to be a Christian and win my family's love or rather Rebel and put my marriage in chaos...

I' have always forced myself to doing the former, but most times I get hurt because I see it as getting to please a group of people as against my wish and heart desires....

UnknownQueen:


This is what I love to do but my hubby I'm scared of his decisions afterwards.....

Please come to my aid...I'm a hot soup...

You are scared of his decision and you are behaving the opposite

Sometimes you don't have to wash your dirty linens in the public

We're you tired to stand or just being stubborn

I personally believe that your belief should be between you and God but do it wisely

You could stand up then excuse yourself if you weren't able to stand for long

Gradually you will sort it out with your husband!

You need to go and see the pastor and explain yourself before the d-day to prevent what you are afraid of

UnknownQueen:


No one can force u to be one u can only pretend to be one....I'm just doing this for the love of my family.

for your mind , you are doing your family a favor

DonPiiko:
You are beautiful

thanks

Welcome

Berlyn1:
thanks

UnknownQueen:


Hi bro.....To think the church i attend is an Anglican Church, but the said preacher on that day was an invited guest (C.A.C pastor), And u know how radical those guys are....forcing there manner and style of prayer down ur throat.....I have never been a fan of that , but unfortunately I was caught in the web, I wanted to give the Pastor the piece of my mind right at the moment but I kept my cool just because of my family.....I really wished I could see the Pastor..I'll remind him of all that WENT down btw us.

If only you or your husband knew the origin of the Church of England (aka Anglican). The Nigerian branch has broken off cos their head church in England has accepted Gays. The founder of the Anglican Church, King Henry VIII, broke out from Catholic because they didn't allow him divorce his wife who couldn't bear him a son, to marry another. He eventually married 5 more wives, bringing the total to 6 wives and beheaded two including the one he married after divorcing the first. I am not against any church as long as you believe in God, but some things about your history should be clear so you understand why some issues are existing in the first place.

As for inviting mushroom ministers, that's how they invited one black American pastor from another denomination to the Royal wedding that almost turned the celebration upside down talking about Martin Luther King and Black Slavery at a wedding for that matter.

I only know one church and that is the Catholic Church. Never will any mushroom unordained minister be allowed to speak from the pulpit. If such a behaviour from the church members come up, you can always join another parish and you don't miss any thing. As for your disposition towards Christianity in general, I think it's important you speak to your husband about your concerns. If he is a loving and caring husband, God says love your wife like Christ loves the Church. He would talk to you and encourage you to become a better christian instead of joining them to judge you.

Tomorrow if you are called upon by the choir and you are told they don't want you to be a chorister anymore, do not argue with them. Go quietly to see the head pastor of the church, and have a meeting with him. Tell him the truth about what happened that day and that you prefer to pray in a quiet manner in reverence to God and that style of shaking head and turning like a possessed lion isn't respectful in your opinion. Allow him share his views, then encourage him that not everyone is an extrovert and that God created extroverts and introverts and you believe God accepts both. Tell him this style the guest minister brought didn't appeal to your faith and conscience and that's why you didn't follow.

the Bible did not actually say you must stand up while praying, standing is just a way for people not to doze off while praying
but there is no way you will explain to some so-called pastor that they will not see something diabolical about it

a pray you see favour from your husband side and I hope he will be the understanding type


God will save us all from all these pastors one day