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Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do - Romance (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by RandyX: 4:17pm On May 23, 2018
JONNYSPUTE:
. Nobody is humiliating her. Let her simply apologise for her childish and rebellious act. I doubt if she will behave the same way to a babalawo. People do any how in the house of God but scared to do it in a deity. If she was in the mosque,won't she have obeyed the imam. Let's stop covering the truth abeg. Simple apology she is here claiming right.
They are not asking for an apology here. They say they want to punish her. It is humiliation that they think they can hit their fellow worshipper or that they have become God to judge and punish her.

If they were to write a report what would they state is their reason for punishing her? That she stood up and sat back down when she was feeling tired in the middle of a prayer?

If she is to tender an apology, what would she say? That she is sorry she refused to stay standing when she was weak because an invited guest pastor decided It was best for her to stand and shake violently to make her weakness disappear, even when she has to be gentle carrying her unborn baby?

Even if she has to tender an apology, what would the apology gain if she doesn't understand the wrong commited or doesnt feel the need to? A demanded apology is nothing but coercion, in order to massage their bloated ego. Is she apologising to them or to God? Instead of them to sit down with her and address her concern to uplift her faith, they are looking for who to punish.

Her church pastor was right, she shouldn't have attended the event if she was not comfortable with the guest preacher's methods. But I do not like the way they have chosen to handle it. They should respect human beings and desire to build true faith not humiliate people in public because they do not agree with her.

This is a Pharisee characteristic, a Nigerian law enforcement behaviour, they are more interested in who entered the wrong lane than clearing the traffic or repairing the bad road on the right lane. They are more interested in fighting imaginary enemies than glorifying God and seeking his grace. They are more interested in condemning sinners than preaching to them about God. More interested in stoning the adulterous woman than giving her hope of repentance like Jesus did.

5 Likes

Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by JONNYSPUTE(m): 4:49pm On May 23, 2018
I can agree to what you said but the fact still remains that she can't continue fighting them. She should just say she is sorry and end the matter before it creeps into her matrimonial home. This is how devil uses rebelliousness to destroy many homes. Pls can you be Honest enough to answer this question: If she belongs to a secret cult and their master asked them to stand up during maybe incantations, will she have the effrontery to sit back when they are still on that? But like u said its only God that sees through our hearts.@Randyx
Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by Apina(m): 4:59pm On May 23, 2018
UnknownQueen:


Someone has been suspended in the group before for fornication reasons and he was made to apologize to the whole church..

I have no problem submitting to authorities o just hate been forced and coarsed into doing things against my faith and beliefs....
I'm no fan of even praying and shaking head like the hypocrites on the synagogue....Painless repetitive prayers is not even my thing.
Have you spoken to your husband yet? If yes, what did he say?
Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by RandyX: 5:03pm On May 23, 2018
JONNYSPUTE:

More importantly now, I think there are 3 things to address.

Marriage
Belief
Church Culture

There is just one thing on this lady's mind and that is to keep her marriage.
She has said she does believe in God, but is not very certain the church culture does it justice.

The real issue here is the fact that she married a man whose religious affiliations are clearly in conflict with hers. I would not find myself in a secret cult in the first place because I know I won't stand there or listen to their incantations neither would I intentionally marry one who is in a secret cult and that would have me attend their conventions passively.

I understand the deed has been done. She has married him and she is trying to make her marriage work. Kudos to her for that. However, I think the husband has a lot of work to do to convince his wife to see the good in the church, or he has to start making moves to see that his wife gets comfortable in coming to church for God and not because of his affiliations with a vip attendant who got him a job. The husband shows signs of religious dedication to this church branch and its establishment but has demonstrated little understanding of his spiritual dedication to the God in the church. Ask yourself, if they relocate to another country or region would he still be dedicated?

The church culture on the other hand needs to change to reflect the kind of society Christ wants for his children.

As head of his home he should not relegate his duties to his pastor. He has a responsibility to lead her to God.
He should sit down listen to his wife and understand her concerns, he can then advice her on ways to live out her true faith within the church, if he honestly before God can attest that the church hasn't derailed from true worship.
If he finds that truly the church has derailed, He should be actively seeking ways to engage the church in finding creative ways to keep followership and build true faith, so his wife can find true fulfilment for her faith. Or he could find a church where he can perform his spiritual obligations to his family.

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Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by JONNYSPUTE(m): 5:16pm On May 23, 2018
RandyX:


More importantly now, I think there are 3 things to address.

Marriage
Belief
Church Culture

There is just one thing on this lady's mind and that is to keep her marriage.
She has said she does believe in God, but is not very certain the church culture does it justice.

The real issue here is the fact that she married a man whose religious affiliations are clearly in conflict with hers. I would not find myself in a secret cult in the first place because I know I won't stand there or listen to their incantations neither would I intentionally marry one who is in a secret cult and that would have me attend their conventions passively.
I understand the deed has been done. She has married him and she is trying to make her marriage work. Kudos to her for that. However, I think the husband has a lot of work to do to convince his wife to see the good in the church, or he has to start making moves to see that his wife gets comfortable in coming to church for God and not because of his affiliations with a vip attendant who got him a job. The husband shows signs of religious dedication but has demonstrated little understanding of his spiritual dedication to the God in the church.
....Good point. Although you misunderstood my question. I was referring to her being a member of a cult not you and I doubt she will ve the effrontery to sit in the middle of their incantations due to tiredness. As for the husband playing a role to make her understand and feel comfortable in their church,you are right. All the same,two wrongs can't make a right,let her just humble herself and say sorry,she won't die,it won't even make her not to be herself any more. Just for peace to reign, that's all.If she keeps rebelling,things might get worse. A simple sorry would stop all these. Just my opinion though.
Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by RandyX: 5:22pm On May 23, 2018
JONNYSPUTE:
....Good point. Although you misunderstood my question. I was referring to her being a member of a cult not you and I doubt she will ve the effrontery to sit in the middle of their incantations due to tiredness. As for the husband playing a role to make her understand and feel comfortable in their church,you are right. All the same,two wrongs can't make a right,let her just humble herself and say sorry,she won't die,it won't even make her not to be herself any more. Just for peace to reign, that's all.If she keeps rebelling,things might get worse. A simple sorry would stop all these. Just my opinion though.

She can apologise today but then the church hasn't succeeded in gaining or improving her faith. This is why punishment is not a good option. Okay she apologised what next?
She doesn't feel comfortable in that church and rather than they try to understand the cause, they have exacerbated the issue by victimising/humiliating her. Apologising won't make her sing loudest next Sunday. The underlying root cause of her rebellion has to be tackled and the church isn't doing anything to address it.
I agree two wrongs never make it right. I have mentioned before that she should not quarrel with them. However she should go see the head pastor to address the underlying problem. He may see the real issue and be in a better position to address them for her and for his congregation. If he is not known to be the very understanding type and doesn't exercise discretion in handling sensitive issues brought to him in confidence, then she should meet her husband, who can then take up productive measures to help grow her faith and that of his family like I mentioned earlier.

Ps: I understood your statement about the cult, I was saying it in terms of being in her shoes.

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Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by JONNYSPUTE(m): 5:30pm On May 23, 2018
RandyX:


She can apologise today but then the church hasn't succeeded in gaining or improving her faith. This is why punishment is not a good option. Okay she apologised what next?
She doesn't feel comfortable in that church and rather than they try to understand the cause, they have exacerbated the issue by victimising her. Apologising won't make her sing loudest next Sunday. The underlying root cause of her rebellion has to be tackled and the church isn't doing anything to address it.
.....If this is the case,then let her be honest enough and open up to her husband. Give him reasons on why she is not comfortable with their style of worship. They can tackle the problems together. She is bottling up a lot of things in her heart against the church and tell me who its affecting negatively, she off course. She should discuss her grievances towards the church with him,pls.
Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by RandyX: 5:34pm On May 23, 2018
JONNYSPUTE:
.....If this is the case,then let her be honest enough and open up to her husband. Give him reasons on why she is not comfortable with their style of worship. They can tackle the problems together. She is bottling up a lot of things in her heart against the church and tell me who its affecting negatively, she off course. She should discuss her grievances towards the church with him,pls.
I just updated my comment before seeing your reply. I think we are on the same page.
Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by JONNYSPUTE(m): 5:40pm On May 23, 2018
RandyX:

I just updated my comment before seeing your reply. I think we are on the same page.
. Well done. Stay blessed.
Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by Nobody: 6:07pm On May 23, 2018
UnknownQueen:


How do I?
I need ur guidance...

You have a reason for rebelling... Address that and you'll find a way forward. If your reasons have substance and you believe in them, then stick to your guns and also deal with the consequences, in the long run, you'll be free.
Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by Nobody: 6:24pm On May 23, 2018
JONNYSPUTE:
. Nobody is humiliating her. Let her simply apologise for her childish and rebellious act. I doubt if she will behave the same way to a babalawo. People do any how in the house of God but scared to do it in a deity. If she was in the mosque,won't she have obeyed the imam. Let's stop covering the truth abeg. Simple apology she is here claiming right.
Why does a pastor need to force another adult to stand before him. what if she had health problems that prevented her from standing for too long... Your pastors behave like God even when they've not been called by him.

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Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by UnknownQueen(f): 9:03pm On May 23, 2018
Bidobado:


You have a reason for rebelling... Address that and you'll find a way forward. If your reasons have substance and you believe in them, then stick to your guns and also deal with the consequences, in the long run, you'll be free.

Deal.
Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by RealAdewole(m): 2:16pm On May 24, 2018
femi4:
stop arguing blindly, the OP has no form of deformity
but she is pregnant

1 Like

Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by tenmariner: 3:09pm On May 24, 2018
The so called pastor is even wrong to mention or utter such word towards u.. That is why I don't give a cool face at church.. I hardly make friends with anyone even my pastor. Jesus Christ whoose template we follow will not say that to his apostles or members which means the pastor should first pastor himself before pastoring others..

1 Like

Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by RealAdewole(m): 3:13pm On May 24, 2018
Holymann:

Oga see ehn, the lady in question sat down because she felt they were praying the wrong way.
Remember the man asked if she was pregnant or having cold?? why didn't she reply or tell anyone (not even her pastor who came to her)
She felt they were praying the wrong way and she didn't believe so there was no need to stand up..
Even in the catholic church, there are times the rev. father will ask the members to stands and if for any reason you can't stand you simple say it when asked not snub everyone...
It time people stopped bring behaviours that aren't accepted outside to the church because it's a church.

so, with this, what supposed to be the responsibility of the Pastor in charge? to teach, listen or rebuke?
Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by RealAdewole(m): 3:18pm On May 24, 2018
RandyX:


That is the problem you find when someone unqualified to even arrange chairs at family prayer meetings wakes up one day and brands himself pastor without ordination. You can never find me in any church where the pastor feels he can not be corrected and that he is chosen but others can't be and never will, even when it's clear he was not called or ordained.

Now know this, any church or gathering where the minister thinks he has grown too big to listen to his followers, any church or gathering where the people perpetually remain sheep and are not in anyway encouraged to grow beyond sheep to become one who can inspire others, is not of God. Even Jesus allowed His disciples to preach when he was sure they were ready. A gathering that does not prepare you spiritually to enlighten others is not a church.

When members do not attend church on sundays because of God and the Word of God but because of fear of being flogged by the pastor, you have lost the faith of your followership, people should be led to come to church because they understand the love God has for them and they want to truly worship God not because Pastor David will embarass you in front of the congregation or Sister Bola will gossip about it to your co-workers.

I never stopped attending my denomination (Catholic), and that is the only place I have never been judged but encouraged. Most of these new one man churches are dangerous to your faith, and this is because they are mostly formed for economic gain and to increase followership, not entirely to grow you spiritually. When members attend your church because all their friends are there, their livelihood depends on their connections with the churchgoers, and leaving would cause a socially awkward situation for them, it is no longer a church but a cult.

A hospital is a place where the sick go to get healthy, and the healthy go to help the sick,
A church should be a place where........ complete it yourself.

When churches now fill their sits using punishment, embarrasment, bullying and victimization techniques instead of showing them the truth of God's love, we have a real problem.

May God help us serve Him in spirit and in truth.


Amen.

I pray one day the church and pastors will wake up to their real responsibilities

1 Like

Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by Holymann(m): 3:38pm On May 24, 2018
RealAdewole:


so, with this, what supposed to be the responsibility of the Pastor in charge? to teach, listen or rebuke?
All Three
Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by Uyi168: 4:07pm On May 24, 2018
Diamond23:
Dont know y my mind z telling me that dz marriage z based on fear, pretense and eye service cry from ur write ups
..na yeye things just full ur mind..

1 Like

Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by kullozone(m): 4:12pm On May 24, 2018
femi4:
stop arguing blindly, the OP has no form of deformity


Did you read her reasons for not standing up in the first place?
So if something had happened to her while the was pastor forcing her to stand up, the pastor would've healed her abi?
I don't know why you people just believe a pastor can't be wrong too.

Very annoying comments everywheresmiley

4 Likes

Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by CAPSLOCKED: 5:16pm On May 24, 2018
UnknownQueen:
Hi everyone, Goodafternoon .......
I hope someone gives me a listening ear here...
I'm a lady of diverse views and beliefs about religion, let's just say I'm a Christian because I'm married to a Christian, I have a child and I'm expectant of the next...I follow my hubby to church just to make him happy...I'm a member of the choir because I've got a great voice and I love to sing.....


THAT'S YOUR BIGGEST MISTAKE.

UNLESS YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, YOU'LL HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES FOR A VERY LONG TIME.

2 Likes

Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by RealAdewole(m): 5:29pm On May 24, 2018
Holymann:

All Three

BUT HE ONLY DID ONE
Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by Diamond23(f): 6:26pm On May 24, 2018
Uyi168:
..na yeye things just full ur mind..
grin

Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by Holymann(m): 8:12pm On May 24, 2018
RealAdewole:


BUT HE ONLY DID ONE

How do you listen to someone who wasn't talking
How do you teach someone who has already made up her mind that what you are doing is wrong and she wasn't going to do it

1 Like

Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by pawshjai(f): 12:56am On May 25, 2018
Apina:
Simply tell them you owe the no explanation, people sit during such periods for different reasons, ranging from discomforts to sickness etc. Your church people are jobless gossips if they actually made a mountain out of this and the minister who said those words to u is sick, tell him I said so undecided
nd u spoke my mind

1 Like

Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by Uyi168: 9:36am On May 25, 2018
Diamond23:
grin
Sowi..
Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by tomdon(m): 10:09am On May 25, 2018
UnknownQueen:


You're right!!!!!

That's the web I'm caught in between...

Pretending to be a Christian and win my family's love or rather Rebel and put my marriage in chaos...

I' have always forced myself to doing the former, but most times I get hurt because I see it as getting to please a group of people as against my wish and heart desires....


Your heart is the devil's abode. Haba
Why is it that your heart desires are just chaos and rebellion??
Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by tomdon(m): 10:15am On May 25, 2018
UnknownQueen:


Hi bro.....To think the church i attend is an Anglican Church, but the said preacher on that day was an invited guest (C.A.C pastor), And u know how radical those guys are....forcing there manner and style of prayer down ur throat.....I have never been a fan of that , but unfortunately I was caught in the web, I wanted to give the Pastor the piece of my mind right at the moment but I kept my cool just because of my family.....I really wished I could see the Pastor..I'll remind him of all that WENT down btw us.


Hahaha you have fukked the pastor before, baddest
All these pastors sef, and they'll be claiming saints
And you, you need to accept Christ so that you can be meek. Read Mathew 5:5
Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by UnknownQueen(f): 10:24am On May 25, 2018
tomdon:


Your heart is the devil's abode. Haba Why is it that your heart desires are just chaos and rebellion??

Because I don't walk in people's shadow......
Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by RealAdewole(m): 12:10pm On May 25, 2018
Holymann:


How do you listen to someone who wasn't talking
How do you teach someone who has already made up her mind that what you are doing is wrong and she wasn't going to do it
the same way you preach to non believer
Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by AMEzekiel: 12:43pm On May 25, 2018
Good day ma. I think that for anyone to know how to operate within an organization he must understand the tenets of that organization and to be happy in any organization one must have a good working relationship with the staff of that organization. Christianity is not in any denomination, Christianity is not in a code of conduct but Christianity is relationship with God through His Son Jesus Christ.
I may not be able to answer your question correctly because your situation can be likened to a person who enters a house without being invited, begins to work as a house servant without being employed and got "insulted" by a servant in the house. The first instinct is to walk away afterall your were not employed there but if you were employed your first response will be to report to the house owner. If you had a relationship the Jesus Christ you would have been praying to God already concerning the matter.
There is much to say but I normally like my responses to be brief.
Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by Eagba(m): 12:52pm On May 25, 2018
Headlesschicken:
undecidedYou must be attending all this mushroom churches,in my church no-one would even notice you....
which one be mushroom churches and which one is your church?
Re: Judgement Is About To Be Passed On Me Tomorrow,please Advise Me On What To Do by JONNYSPUTE(m): 1:13pm On May 25, 2018
UnknownQueen:



Because I don't walk in people's shadow......
. .The guy was right . You ve already made up your mind to be rebellious and that's why you ve refused to listen to the people asking you to just say you are sorry and allow the matter close instantly,rather you prefer does ones asking you not to humble yourself. Let's see if they will be there if this small issue breaks your matrimonial home. Keep listening to wrong advice. Finally,check urself to know why you heart is with so much bitterness and hatred,I doubt your husband due to his awkward religious belief, gives you enough sex. Yes I said it,you are not a happy woman,sort it out with your husband and stop washing ur dirty linings in the public.

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