I was talking with a friend recently and she told me she was facing this real marriage dilemma

It happens that her parents want her to marry this guy who just came back from Europe, because they are from the same place. She's in love with someone else who's going to marry her when they're both ready. but they're not from the same place.

She discovered from sources that the guy who just came home from Europe already got married to a white woman (so that he can get his papers). Her people are pressurizing her to get married, she doesn't want to rush things so that she won't make the wrong choice.

Now she's faced with obeying her people or eloping with her love if her parents still refuse the union. I told her to search her heart and pray let God order her steps. Please what do you all think?

ITgurlie:

She discovered from sources that the guy who just came home from Europe already got married to a white woman

Are the parents aware of this?!

She should follow her heart.

Lord_Reed:

Are the parents aware of this?!

yes they're, but according to them it's just for papers and nothing is there after, most of the guys outside naija do it (the parents opinion) and that's what angers me

They just believe what the guy said without considering their daughter's happiness and it's just unfair

@poster
isnt that the scenario that happens in 9ja every other weekends?! by the look of NL, it seems like it.

this gal has a choice to make and, whichever she will make, she will loose!

marrying someone that you have no care for is equally as wrong  as eloping to marry some guy and possibly never speak to your parents ever again.

this should be the follow up of the thread about people going back home to marry hoping to find "better wives" LOL!!!!

new thread title:"parents selling their children to anyone who set foot outside Africa"

I think this is modern day slavery. Parents selling their kids to 2nd hand Nigerian men who already have wives abroad.

MRbrownJAY:

@poster
isnt that the scenario that happens in 9ja every other weekends?! by the look of NL, it seems like it.

this gal has a choice to make and, whichever she will make, she will loose!

marrying someone that you have no care for is equally as wrong  as eloping to marry some guy and possibly never speak to your parents ever again.

this should be the follow up of the thread about people going back home to marry hoping to find "better wives" LOL!!!!

new thread title:"parents selling their children to anyone who set foot outside Africa"

Should she sacrifice her happiness so that her parents can be happy
I just don't know why parents want to fulfill their dreams through their children

No jokes cos this is serious

Its the situation people are in Nigeria, I cant say I blame the parents, The filthy politicians are raping that country and everybody has to survive however which way they can.

Ebonyeyes:

I think this is modern day slavery. Parents selling their kids to 2nd hand Nigerian men who already have wives abroad.

I Don't think they plan on taking their nigerian wives with them to avoid confrontation and it's just bad

Ebonyeyes:

Its the situation people are in Nigeria, I cant say I blame the parents, The filthy politicians are despoiling that country and everybody has to survive however which way they can.

not enough reason to have a foreign wife and then come back home to be the good boy

ITgurlie:


I Don't think they plan on taking their nigerian wives with them to avoid confrontation and it's just bad

not enough reason to have a foreign wife and then come back home to be the good boy

Are you serious so the Nigerian wife just stays in Nigeria and plays her position? How does that work? Usually these guys seat on their "green marriage" for 2 years, have a kid or two and divorce them. Then they bring their Nigerian wives over.

As you say the girls parents know whats up, they know he has a wife abroad, they just want to secure their future and that of their daughter.

ITgurlie:

Should she sacrifice her happiness so that her parents can be happy
I just don't know why parents want to fulfill their dreams through their children
No jokes cos this is serious

there is nothing serious about this and if the story is real then the parents are the big joke in this story. . . . . so yes its a joke!
some married guy comes back to town, shows his resident permit and all these silly parents are throwing their daughters at him like frisbee!!! we are in 2010, you know!?

i know what I would do in this situation but we are all different and SHE is the only one who will live this sorry life so she has to decide whats best for HER.

is your friend older then 18? if she is it is her life and no one elses. if her father is so intrested in a marriage with this boy let him doit. noone is going to live your life for you, marry who you want not who omeone else wants being in the end you have to live with the choice

agathamari:

is your friend older then 18? if she is it is her life and no one elses. if her father is so intrested in a marriage with this boy let him doit. noone is going to live your life for you, marry who you want not who omeone else wants being in the end you have to live with the choice

yea she's more than 18, in her 20's. I actually told her if her parents are so into the guy from Europe let her mom become a second wife she has a right to her own opinion, but mostly let her seek the face of God

ITgurlie:

yea she's more than 18, in her 20's. I actually told her if her parents are so into the guy from Europe let her mom become a second wife she has a right to her own opinion, but mostly let her seek the face of God

She needs to take some action. Sitting there and praying to God won't help her at all.

I wonder o, action is what she needs right now.

chika98:

She needs to take some action. Sitting there and praying to God won't help her at all.

If she wasn't confused this thread won't be here
She doesn't want to disobey her people and she wants to marry who she loves
So what else do you advice her to do cos her parents are not listening to her

only in 9ija, marry a guy whose been absent for some years, you know nothing of him and about him. no courtship whatsoever, no knowledge of diseases, kids left behind, whether or not the guy intends going back overseas or not ,
my advice, elope with the guy you're inlove with (however, misguided that love is), THE PARENTS HAVE ALREADY LIVED THEIR LIVES, they can't live through their child. SMH

^^^^^^^^^ more like is the girl a liability? why will any parent want to 'dash' out their daughter because of euros if the daughter is an asset to herself and to them?

Parents do realy complicate things sometimes.

I'd advice Ur friend to chill if her man would and has if they both have as much commitment to their relationship as they need.

If she chooses not to marry and stays with her bobo long enough, chances are the guy with the oyinbo wife will run out of patience and get a move on and the parents will come to respect her choice and bless them.

Must she get married now?

What's the point in eloping

All she needs to do is to make her choice and stand by it. With time, he parent will have no choice but to accept her decision. If she really loves her BF and wants to wait for him, all she needs to do is to make her parents realize that.

She can even sabotage them and tell her Obodo Oyibo suitor that she's not interested and I'm sure he'll leave on his own.

As far as I'm concerned, this is not an issue!

googles again with grammer~

190:

googles again with grammer~

Yep, That's my gurl.

Do U know how I worked so hard to bring her to that level?.

ITgurlie:

but mostly let her seek the face of God

god helps those who help themselves. sitting waiting for divine intervention will never work. god gave her th ability to think for herself, she needs to use it

There is no confusion here; marriage is between a man and a woman unless of course the parties involved here are not man and woman perhaps boy and girl. Is the man working? is the woman working?

. . .when it is not Yerima & Lil Miss Saudi . . .

She shuld b old enuff to convince her folks to see it her way . . .for cryin out loud, d dude is married already . . paper or no paper. . . . arnt they christians? wat kinda mentality do they have?

sofeco:

Yep, That's my gurl.

Do U know how I worked so hard to bring her to that level?.

u mst be kiddin me
not wen im alive~
do u knw who i am 2 google T

Disgraceful more litle mixed race kids going around wh cant these men wears condoms given that they are only using all these white women.

googles:

Are the chicz parents illiterates? cos IMO i dont think any educated person with self-worth will throw his daughter at just any body who's carrying

nope they are not, it's just because the guy comes from the same place as them

Onchedu:

Parents do realy complicate things sometimes.

Must she get married now?

The parents feel she should since she's thru with school and will soon get a job

Aproko:

^^^^^^^^^ more like is the girl a liability? why will any parent want to 'dash' out their daughter because of euros if the daughter is an asset to herself and to them?

You know some parents believe that once a girl is thru with school, the next thing is marriage.
No she's not a liability

otokx:

There is no confusion here; marriage is between a man and a woman unless of course the parties involved here are not man and woman perhaps boy and girl. Is the man working? is the woman working?

A mature man who has a job and a mature woman who's a graduate

IMHO the parents need back down on this issue. C'mon! Is he the only one from their place that can give their daughter a good marriage? She should stress this point and others to them, let them see reason.

Eloping will not garner her n her future husband any respect, it will make them look weak n irresponsible so it is out of the question.

Seeking divine intervention is good and as others have said she should be speaking to her parents with wisdom even as she is praying.

190:

googles again with grammer~

sofeco:

Yep, That's my gurl.

Do U know how I worked so hard to bring her to that level?.

good work 

190:

u mst be kiddin me
not wen im alive~
do u knw who i am 2 google T

so who are u to google t {wats t anyways }