"I broke up with him because he could not take care of my needs and I cannot see myself suffering or spending for a guy. If you want to marry me, I think you should be able to take good care of me. You don't need to give me everything, you don't need to give me the world. I Just want little, like take this money, go and do your hair. Take this money, travel, take a flight and all that. You need to show some concern, show me that you are a man. Let me see and feel the man in the house. You don't have to tell me you are a man, you have to show it. So why do I have to keep suffering over a man who cannot take care of my needs? My ex is loving but he's not somebody that can take care of my needs and that's why I broke up with him." Actress Uche Iwuji tells Encomium mag when asked why she broke up with her ex

source



na waa for some of this girls ooooo

I don't blame her. She grows up in an environment where they are taught that men is supposed to look after THEIR needs, as opposed to them standing on their own damnnnn feet and be somebody and something in life.

I have also noticed, that the trend is common within Americans of African origin (This is my observation) and I think it is just wrong.

No man in this day and age wants a woman to be dependent on him - well, I speak for myself. It is not an ideal thing. No wonder some men demand they want their women to be submissive in return.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-504728.0.html

With all those bosom On sight,

truly truly i say unto thee
It would take more than 7 men to take care of that babe!

Typical nature of a true Nigerian Woman!!

She is a big big fool, does she have money. Gold Digger. It is girls like this that snatches another woman's husband not minding that the woman has toiled with that man to make him rich.
I just pray someone pours acids on her gold digging face.      

Spyker:

She is a big big fool, does she have money. Gold Digger. It is girls like this that snatches another woman's husband not minding that the woman has toiled with that man to make him rich.
I just pray someone pours acids on her gold digging face.

i am not in accordance to her being a gold digger but neither do i think she deserves this insult

i think she wants a man that is financially stable

I cannot see myself suffering or spending for a guy

from the quoted post

aside her being a gold digger but i repeat no man/woman wants a liability that calls him/herself partner

Is wanting a man that is "financially stable" is the new word for someone who have all the qualities of a gold digger? 

The way she present it is wrong. What's wrong with her go getting her own damnnn hair done with her own damnnn money? Oh wait, she never had any hence the need to rely on a man. 

EDIT

So she is in effectively saying "No romance without finance"

^^^^i get your flow, i didn't go thru the source to read more but from what was posted here it states the man he was with couldn't cater for himself
so i see no big deal with her wanting her Man to step up on his game
the fact still remains she is a gold digger who would want her man to do all for her without her helping out.romance and money comes in hand which is true but both should come from both parties involved and not focusing all on the guy just because the mentality of MAN OF THE HOUSE gets stucks in the head

but again to each its own

This type encourage corruption and cheating in the Nigerian society,they are the curse of our major problems in that society,most politicans have women who encourage stealing.They are never content,and she will be happy being a single parent,and men will line up at her doorstep to take turns,because they will give her that money .

olas2u:

This type encourage corruption and cheating in the Nigerian society,they are the  curse of our major problems in that society,most politicans have women who encourage stealing.They are never content,and she will be happy being a single parent,and men will line up at her doorstep to take turns,because they will give her that money .

Don't forget to blame her for global warming too. 

What about the society that treats women as second class citizen and they are men properties? Or how they are brought up to be submissive to their men etc. No?

ElRazur:

Don't forget to blame her for global warming either.

What about the society that treats women as second class citizen and they are men properties? Or how they are brought up to be submissive to their men etc. No?

I understand what you are saying ,but dont forget we have norms as a result of our culture,but foreign influence changed all that,poverty alone may not be responsible because there still examples of countries with so much poverty, but good virtures like southeast asia.

Nigerian men respect women and treat them well,but you can never give enough ,because of peer pressure and our value system.

its her wish never mind she will remain single

Inked_Nerd:


I agree with what you said about women of African origin being taught that they need to be dependent on a man, except for the part where you said you don't blame her. I do blame her. I grew up being taught things similar to that yet I don't have the desire to have a man provide for me. I know how to stand on my own two feet and provide for myself. I was having a conversation with my aunt once about the portrayal of Nigerian women in Nollywood movies and how it comes across as "gold diggerish". While we were talking, she pointed out something that slipped my mind. She said that from a young age, that African men need to provide for women and that it was the reason that they show women like that in Nollywood movies is because it is just a mirror image of what the societal beliefs are in African countries. A lot of it stems from the perceived notions of gender roles. Often times when I talk to Nigerian men about my beliefs in gender roles in African culture they get upset and tell me that I have "too much freedom" or that a woman purpose in life is to serve men.

The most interesting bit to me is the part in bold.  I think this is the problem and why some cultural aspect will hamper our moving forward. Gender roles are almost reversal these days and the distinct lines are blurred and border crossed.

The earlier we moved from "perceived ideas" and actually doing what is practical we may have less of the filth posted in the OP to read about. I mean, what is wrong for a woman to be able to work and look after herself. Gosh, things like hairdo are basic personal care, if you need another man in order to do that, then surely there is a problem with her mental reasoning.

Kudos to you for not having this Africanised perception of "let a man take care of you"

olas2u:

I understand what you are saying ,but dont forget we have norms as a result of our culture,but foreign influence changed all that,poverty alone may not be responsible because there still examples of countries with so much poverty, but good virtures like southeast asia.

Nigerian men respect women and treat them well,but you can never give enough ,because of peer pressure and our value system.

I don't understand your point. I think our culture is actually the problem as to why ladies like that actress have such mentality or way of thinking. Let's not start blaming foreign influence.

I very much doubt Nigerian men respect woman like you are putting it. Our culture puts women in a position of infantilsation - I.e to be treated and catered for like bloody babies. This makes women to lose all sense of wanting to be on their on feet and forever thinking yeah a man will provide for me.

Uche iwuji? hmmn, its no surprise~

^^
and shes Ibo,
what else do u expect from that race~

I don't understand the problem.

She wants a man that will spoil her.  So do I and I have one.

My dad was/is the true head of his house.  In being the true head of your house you take care of your wife and children.  So my mom worked and when she got prego each time she took off a year to stay at home with the children and dad held it down.  When my baby sister was born dad had mom take off 5 years then told her she could go back to work if she wanted to.

Mom raised the babies. . . dad brought home the bacon and mom cooked it. . . dad always got the "big piece of chicken". . . .mom did not have to worry about the minor details.

But don't get it wrong when mom was single she did her thing.  College educated, great job, own place, paid her bills and held it down.  Dad came along and wooed her off her feet and showed her what a real man does for his family.

I expect nothing less.  I expect that all the heavy lifting will be done by my husband or soon to be husband.  A man shows a woman his ability  to support his family in the way that he treats her during the courting.

Keep in mind my dad is white and mom is black.

sistawoman:

I don't understand the problem.

Try reading the thread, what she said and what was subsequently posted, and BANG, her problems become obvious.

This lady is a semi-thief who wants to pretend as someones wife with the sole aim of milking the man dry. No one said a man can't do all those earthly things for her, but in the even he can't probably because his business is crumbling it therefore means the supposed marriage will crumble with it.

I also see she is just seeing the light now. She has been traveling by road all her life and is in desperate need of one who will always pay for her flight.

Poor people with poor mentality.

--190--:

^^
and shes Ibo,
what else do u expect from that race~

Not all of them are like that.

ElRazur:

Try reading the thread, what she said and what was subsequently posted, and BANG, her problems become obvious.

She wants a man to spoil her.  She never said she cant do it on her own w/o his help.  She wants her man to spoil her.

The tone a woman sets in the dating period is what she can expect when you are married.  If he cant do it when we are dating he wont do it when we are married.  Is not the dating period the time to properly vet your mate.

What about the society that treats women as second class citizen and they are men properties? [b]Or how they are brought up to be submissive to their men [/b]etc. No?

do i really have to say this again? in any organization, in any institution, even in heaven, there is a head. thats the way things were designed for there to be order and progress. either women submit to men or men submit to women. there cant be two captains calling the shots in one ship.    do it any other way and you are asking for chaos. women take note  

albridge:

do i really have to say this again? in any organization, in any institution, even in heaven, there is a head. thats the way things were designed for there to be order and progress. either women submit to men or men submit to women. there cant be two captains calling the shots in one ship.    do it any other way and you are asking for chaos. women take note  

Do I have to make it clear to you that the definition of submission in our culture is almost like "losing all your self will" and become almost a mindless zombie in order to make things work with your man.

Wake up and smell the coffee, in reality, relations do not work like that.

As for your post about heaven, sorry I do not believe in fairy tales and harry potter.

albridge:

do i really have to say this again? in any organization, in any institution, even in heaven, there is a head. thats the way things were designed for there to be order and progress. either women submit to men or men submit to women. there cant be two captains calling the shots in one ship.    do it any other way and you are asking for chaos. women take note  

[size=18pt]AMEN[/size]

Being submisive does not mean being a doormat. . . .I think too many women confuse the two.

ElRazur:

Do I have to make it clear to you that the definition of submission in our culture is almost like "losing all your self will" and become almost a mindless zombie in order to make things work with your man.

Again this is something that should be discussed during the vetting period.

Submission is not a dirty word.

sistawoman:


Being submisive does not mean being a doormat. . . .I think too many women confuse the two.

It is the typical argument that is put forward, yet in reality women are expected to be submissive like a slave. How many married women in a relationship in naija can call their husband by his name after X amount of years??  How many out there can go against what their husband actually want? Since you dad is white and your mum black like you claim, I am asking the wrong person.

sistawoman:

Again this is something that should be discussed during the vetting period.

Submission is not a dirty word.

You are right, it is not a dirty word. But it is a dirty and almost degrading practice.

ElRazur:

You are right, it is not a dirty word. But it is a dirty and almost degrading practice.

not if done properly. . . . I am married to a Nigerian man. . . . and I am submissive to that man. . . .yet still I am not a doormat. . . .

These types of things again are discussed during the vetting period in a r/s.

sistawoman:

not if done properly. . . . I am married to a Nigerian man. . . . and I am submissive to that man. . . .yet still I am not a doormat. . . .

These types of things again are discussed during the vetting period in a r/s.

By the definition of "submission" in our culture, you have to be a door mat. If you are not, then you are not being submissive like our culture demands. The thing here is that while things are working with you and your man, it is not the same as being submissive, it is a totally different idea.

You do realise, back in the days in Yoruba and igbo culture, it is not uncommon for a man to demand for a woman to go and inside and lay on the bed for sex. In other words, women are like a sex-on-demand objects, but gradually we have moved away from that now.

You have sayings and proverbs that is instilled in our minds from a young age about how "The man is the head of the house" blah blah blah. Give me a break, you cannot be a head when there are supposed to be EQUAL PARTIES in the relationship etc.   Anyway, you get the point.

By the time her beauty depreciate and she is around 35- 40, when all guys don't Bleep her toto finished leave her, she will be searching for the poorest on earth to take as his man and she might not even see one or he will probably be marry to Jesus,

I dont believe that there can be equal parties in a marriage.

One person has to make the final decison and has to bear the weight of that decison.