₦airaland Forum

Welcome, Guest: Join Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 2,076,010 members, 4,482,866 topics. Date: Friday, 21 September 2018 at 11:19 PM

My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With - Romance (12) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With (51824 Views)

Nigerian Lady: I Am Ugly But My Vagina Is Tighter Than Those Of Beautiful Ladies / Is It Safe To Marry A Lady I Slept With On The First Date? I’m Confused / A Lady I Met On Facebook Gave Me HIV – Nigerian Man Shares Shocking Story (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) ... (9) (10) (11) (12) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Elliot2(m): 8:46pm On Jul 12
Skmoda360:

tell it to that nigga as per his relationship cuz I think it can never help.
a girl u smash her pussay so good she calls u daddy,can not give u attitute d next minute like she is managing u.
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Damfostopper(m): 11:19pm On Jul 12
LivingFree:
You sound overbearing, is this not an adult who has lived all her life governing herself? How do you come along and start telling her what to do? I think you should let people live their life how they see fit and if you have a problem with the way they're doing things you should recognise that it's your problem and you should reflect on how you can manage it or if it's a deal breaker for you then move on with you're life. Imagine telling someone to close the door when they're using the toilet. It's not everybody that closes the door when they're pissing and they live with their partner. I find it uncomfortable personally so I close my door instead of telling them what to do. You don't sound like a fun person to be around always correcting people upandan like you an eraser. Learn to chill and deal with your control issues.
imagine what this assholee is spewing

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Raskasal(m): 11:42pm On Jul 12
LabUdegbe:

Pls explain this line... grin grin

What I meant was that in any area of the house we were supposed to have physical contacts, like pass by and hit each other, and touches, she avoids them
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by karika2018: 1:11am On Jul 13
why must you still be with a woman like that...

grow up.....

quit the relationship or you will regret it...

marriage is for a long time...

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by banchuz: 6:15am On Jul 13
pryme:


No, sometimes you have to make some people understand your life does not revolve around them.
For some strange reason women tend to respect men that are like this.

Sabi man grin
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by banchuz: 6:18am On Jul 13
biafraisdead:

I will never do that, ever since I broke up from her my mind and is very much at peace with me, I don't wish to have anything to do with her again not even a call I went through hell for the 2 years we dated I really endured to see if she would change but she kept exhibiting same stupid characters.

Seen and confirmed
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Skmoda360(m): 6:43am On Jul 13
Elliot2:
a girl u smash her pussay so good she calls u daddy,can not give u attitute d next minute like she is managing u.
you funny uhn...that's true to some extent but on a serious note ...most women are unpredictable.
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Elliot2(m): 6:58am On Jul 13
Skmoda360:

you funny uhn...that's true to some extent but on a serious note ...most women are unpredictable.
true! but,at least it gives u dat confidence dat she is not nagging cos u r less a man in bed.
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Skmoda360(m): 7:00am On Jul 13
Elliot2:
true! but,at least it gives u dat confidence dat she is not nagging cos u r less a man in bed.
yeah..you have a point though.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by aribasoye1: 8:05am On Jul 13
[b][/b]
Have ones been in this shoes before, I love this girl from ogun too but her character and lifestyle puts me off from her, and this is the girl. I was planning of getting married to. one day I then asked myself, will I want my daughter to take after her, in my mind I know she's not the kind of mother I will like my children to take after, I prayed about it and took the bold step to QUIT, it really pained me and I cried cost this was the girl I know I love dearly and leaving her was so painful but was the best thing I need to do to live long. Bro since you have known her character and u ain't too cool or down with it and If u wanna live long, JUST QUIT. You are not loosing she is,

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by aribasoye1: 8:08am On Jul 13
[b][/b]
Have ones been in this shoes before, I love this girl from ogun too but her character and lifestyle puts me off from her, and this is the girl. I was planning of getting married to. one day I then asked myself, will I want my daughter to take after her, in my mind I know she's not the kind of mother I will like my children to take after, I prayed about it and took the bold step to QUIT, it really pained me and I cried cost this was the girl I know I love dearly and leaving her was so painful but was the best thing I need to do to live long. Bro since you have known her character and u ain't too cool or down with it and If u wanna live long, JUST QUIT. You are not loosing she is
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Nobody: 8:13am On Jul 13
All these people advising play this game, give timeout etc, need to understand that marriage is supposed to be for a lifetime. Once they are married, what options are available to manage her behaviour?

More to the point, this is the woman. The best that can happen is that she will temporarily suppress her character, maybe for a week, then back to status quo.

There are people who are made for women like that, but you aren't.

3 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Raskasal(m): 10:41am On Jul 13
aribasoye1:
[b][/b]
Have ones been in this shoes before, I love this girl from ogun too but her character and lifestyle puts me off from her, and this is the girl. I was planning of getting married to. one day I then asked myself, will I want my daughter to take after her, in my mind I know she's not the kind of mother I will like my children to take after, I prayed about it and took the bold step to QUIT, it really pained me and I cried cost this was the girl I know I love dearly and leaving her was so painful but was the best thing I need to do to live long. Bro since you have known her character and u ain't too cool or down with it and If u wanna live long, JUST QUIT. You are not loosing she is,

Thank you. You really understand what I am going through
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Raskasal(m): 10:42am On Jul 13
oyb:
All these people advising play this game, give timeout etc, need to understand that marriage is supposed to be for a lifetime. Once they are married, what options are available to manage her behaviour?

More to the point, this is the woman. The best that can happen is that she will temporarily suppress her character, maybe for a week, then back to status quo.

There are people who are made for women like that, but you aren't.


Thank you jare

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by shem4soul: 7:56pm On Jul 13
@ OP,
I think u should ask urself what u really need in life, and also if u can cope with her character on the long run, I'm also having a girl like DAT she is misbehaving(similar to ur own case),I believe DAT my own thinks DAT she is doing me a favour by staying wit me and I'm even fed up wit her character...
there re a lot of ladies out side DAT re perfect and looking for husband, pls don't b fool by love...only love can't sustain a marriage when d going gets tough

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by shem4soul: 8:20pm On Jul 13
even if I correct her when she is wrong, I will also b d person to tell her DAT I'm sorry,I ve learnt a lot from this ur topic especially matured men that comment and contributed earlier...,70 % of what happens in a relationship re pointers to what will happen in marriage...life is too short to b in a toxic relationship

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by LabUdegbe(m): 8:24pm On Jul 13
Raskasal:


What I meant was that in any area of the house we were supposed to have physical contacts, like pass by and hit each other, and touches, she avoids them
grin grin grin
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Vmaqween(f): 2:39pm On Jul 14
doskie:
thanks.
You are welcome

1 Like

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by 2buffagain(m): 7:20am On Jul 15
Raskasal:
This post is directed to the matured minds in the house.

I've dated this lady for close to a year now and I have the intention of having her as my wife because of my love for her. She's got good qualities, cooks well, supportive in a little way but temperamental and easily provoked.

But there is this challenge I'm having with her, she puts up surly attitude and would always keep to herself whenever I correct her, and she won't talk to me for as long as we stay together, call or try to get in touch while away. This might last for as many days not until I come out to calm her down. Over times shes been doing this and the only way I've had to let things be normal is for me to talk to her again and beg her not to be angry. But I'm feeling I'm loosing my worth. This is someone that never admits she's at fault, talk less of apologizing. On several note I have had to take blame for her errors even when I'm not at fault just to make sure we're fine.

A recent development was that she came for holiday and was using the rest room within my apartment, I was passing by and asked her to close the door, she murmured, closed the door and she hasn't been talking to me since then and even when I do she'll answer reluctantly for like five days now. I am tired of living under same roof with someone that never feel anything keeping malice and I want her to realize her mistakes and apologize, but she won't, she'll rather stay back in the room, and whenever I go to the room, she be making avoiding moves.

I watched her closely to observe if she's into someone else but I haven't got any traces of that.

I have decided not to call her to terms again not minding if it costs a break up, but then am thinking I might be taking things way far.

Pls How best can I handle this? I really do love her tho and I am afraid of loosing her but I am loosing my worth and this has made her not have regards for me.

Thank you all

You are messing up.
Don't be an enabler of disrespect.

How you deal with women is that you make it clear that as much as you love her and all that, there are some things you just won't tolerate otherwise she would be using her own hand to end the relationship.
She must have that boundary in her mind concerning you and your matters always, both in the good and the bad times.

As a man, you configure the life you want, and tolerate only what you want to.
It is good to be understanding, but If your girlfriend is behaving disrespectfully without logic, it will be because you enabled, and quite possibly, encouraged it to be so.

She is obviously the type that has never had a man train her before. You do so as you would a child...by positive re-inforcement.
Also be prepared at any time for a woman to leave while you are training her to your spec. Simply reach out and get yourself another undecided

Examples of setting boundaries:

- "<Her Name> We can talk to each other, but the moment you feel the need to yell at me, that conversation is over until further notice!" AND STICK TO IT.

- If she is the type that jokingly tells you to shut up, you tell her "Hey babe, I know you thought you were joking there, but don't ever tell me to shut up. I don't use those words when speaking with you and I expect the same courtesy"

- "<Her name>, I've noticed whenever I talk to you about something, you start avoiding me." to which she would likely respond with something weak and pathetic like "I'm not avoiding you". To which you follow with "Cut the poo! Listen to me, I don't do passive aggressive. And if that is how you choose to be, just leave. there's no space for that element in my house." AND LET WHAT HAPPENS HAPPEN. Stop all that begging nonsense.

From experience, when you are tough on girls in the midst of their misbehavior, they generally are the ones to come back later to apologize after having had a long hiatus to think about their behavior and life plans....or not, who cares. The girl that returns back is often mentally re-adjusted for the better, and thats all that matters.

3 Likes

Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Slimsly100(f): 9:58pm On Jul 15
biafraisdead:

Months back I was in a similar relationship before I finally call it a quit(I also intend to keep her as a wife, I have even introduced her to my people). I always apologise to her even while she was at fault and she will never admit been at fault or even say sorry, though she would stupidly tell me at times that her bad side is her being too proud and that she was working on her self to correct it. the day I ended the relationship was a day she insulted me and I just told her I won't call her again but she thought I was joking and since that day(over 7 months now) I haven't called her neither has she called me(because of pride). But I know she is seriously dieing now her problem is for her to call me and say 'I am sorry' she keeps calling me with unknown numbers and each time I pick she would end the call without saying anything but I know she is behind those calls, also she keeps stalking me on LinkedIn, she doesn't know LinkedIn sends u profile of people viewing ur profile. so my brother if u try to change her and she is not changing I would advise u to let her go; imagine what u would go through when u finally marry her, we shouldn't allow love to block our senses at times. any man or woman that can't say sorry is not worthy to be a husband or a wife. By the way where is she from cos we may be talking about the same girl.



The last part though!!
Reminds of R-kelly's song, SAME GIRL
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by biafraisdead(m): 9:17am On Jul 16
Slimsly100:



The last part though!! Reminds of R-kelly's song, SAME GIRL
hi pretty.
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Slimsly100(f): 7:40pm On Jul 16
biafraisdead:

hi pretty.


Hi deadman..
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by biafraisdead(m): 9:27pm On Jul 16
Slimsly100:



Hi deadman..
why are u being rude?
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by Slimsly100(f): 10:59pm On Jul 16
biafraisdead:

why are u being rude?

Na wa o bros!!! Calm down I knew you would react to that. But na ur Monika cause quarrel o. Why biafraisdead. But bone that thing, nothing dey there I was only pulling ur legs. Shalom!!!!


kiss
Re: My Experience With A Lady I Intend To Settle Down With by seangy4konji: 8:29am On Aug 11
Raskasal:

I understand. Ohh she's from Ogun state
mine was from Ogun State also. Ilisha Remo...i called it quit after 5 years.. She thought and still thinking it was a joke. Nagging. Will never say sorry despite traveling miles to be with me. Would go and sit in the room when corrected. Noore convos.go out to the cat, stay glued to her phone till I say sorry. I can't deal again. Marriage another issue. I had to break up. She begging me with SMS she will change. Man.. Not interested to be a lesson teacher in this Nigerian economy. She is 33 years old now. We were supposed to Marry 3 years ago. Now who lost?

(1) (2) (3) ... (9) (10) (11) (12) (Reply)

Owner Warns Those Who Have Sex On His Car In Iju, Lagos (Photo) / Romance Section Chat Room I / Heartbroken Lady Calls On God After Loosing Her Fiance To Her Close Friend (pic)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (0) (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2018 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 160
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.